by R L Medina
“Renée?” Mom’s voice caught my ear.
I followed her out of the van, Mag close on my heels. Cold air swept through me, making me shiver. The sooner we did this, the better. Unlike the others, I was more susceptible to frost bite. Though if I angered the queen much more, I probably wouldn’t have to wait for nature to do me in.
A snort escaped me, drawing curious looks from the others. My face reddened at their stares.
“Something amusing?” Des’s eyes flashed in the dark.
I bit my tongue. There were still so many questions I had for him and his elf friend, but it wasn’t the time to discuss their relationship. We had work to do.
“Have you located the Raj’ani?” the Queen snapped.
Her blue eyes pierced mine. I frowned at her. “I told you. I can’t sense the link right now. I don’t know when it will return.”
I can smell the Raj’ani. It is this way, Fearless’s voice boomed in our minds.
The dragon took off toward the woods. We followed, abandoning the car along the side of the road. My eyes scanned the dark forest. A wolf howled in the distance, but my mind was too preoccupied to make out its words.
Though I wasn’t happy about traipsing the woods at night, I was thankful we were all together. I doubted any wild animal or magical creature would mess with our group. Try as I might to get Sacha’s attention, he refused to look in my direction. It stung. I only had myself to blame. I’d broken his trust and it would take more than one day to restore what I hoped was still a repairable friendship.
Mom sensing my turmoil, threw me worried glances. I needed my mind to be focused for what we were about to do, but my emotions raged within me. When I thought I couldn’t walk any further, we finally came to a pause.
The sounds of the forest echoed around us. Branches snapped. Creatures scurried in the darkness. Their fear and curiosity filled the air. They didn’t like us intruding in their space and they really didn’t like the strange creature that had made meals out of their friends.
I winced as the image of the Raj’ani floated in their minds. Technically it was my fault the creature had escaped.
“Well? Have you found it yet?” The queen’s harsh voice echoed by my ear.
I jumped, surprised she’d gotten so close without me knowing. My eyes were as well adjusted to the dark as they would be.
“I’ll try again,” I croaked out.
Her narrowed blue eyes shone in the blackness.
I took a steadying breath and closed my eyes. Everyone’s emotions floated around me. I summoned my power and pushed them out of my way. My nose scrunched up. There were so many minds and though most of them were locked, they were still distracting as I tried to call out to the Raj’ani.
My magic washed over me, renewing my strength. I envisioned my hands reaching out for the creature. I held a flashlight aloft, shining it before me.
Only emptiness greeted me. Worry tugged at my insides. Had the connection been severed… permanently? I sucked in a breath and tried again. Pushing all other thoughts out of my mind, I focused on the creature.
Its large, blue eye. It’s feathery dark head and webbed looking wings. I remembered its strange voice in my mind and its lack of emotions. Pain blossomed in my head. Pushing it away, I refocused my energy on our mental link.
An invisible grip tightened around me, making me gasp.
Why do you seek me? The Raj’ani’s voice echoed in my ears. All I want is to be free. Why should I not have a right to live, same as you?
My heart twisted at its words. I didn’t know the answer. If the abyss hadn’t been opened and Feylin wasn’t in danger, I never would have known the creature existed. Did it have a right to live if its very nature was to destroy?
“We will let you go. I promise. We just need your help to save our home. I think it was your home once too.”
You have two homes while I have none. My home is gone.
Sorrow enveloped me. My eyes teared up at the creature’s strong emotion. I used my magic to push it away.
“I’m sorry you lost your home. Won’t you help us save ours?”
No.
Pain burst in my head. Everything went black. Sounds rushed by me as I felt the ground break beneath me. I was falling. My hands and legs stretched out, desperately trying to hold on to something—anything.
Voices swirled around and around, just out of my reach. I gasped. It felt as if my body was falling apart, limb by limb. It wasn’t a ripping pain, but a numbing sting. Alarm filled me, but I couldn’t stop unraveling.
Stop! What are you doing to me? Stop it! My words felt weird as they floated beside me, growing bigger and bigger.
Was this it? Was I going crazy? Sobs shook through me. What would happen to the others now? My head spun. It felt too heavy to lift. As if I was spinning on a carnival ride and the force of gravity kept me down.
“Help! Help me! Somebody help me!” My voice roared in my ears.
Nobody answered.
I was falling faster and deeper. Blackness surrounded me and wrapped itself against me. It was cold and smothering.
Something dripped down my face. Something warm and wet. Tears? I tried to reach out to wipe it off, but my arms didn’t work. I glanced down. I didn’t have a body. Fear rippled through me. Was I still stuck in my own mind or the Raj’ani’s? The warm wetness continued to roll down my nonexistent face, the phantom feeling made me shudder.
I tried to call my magic to me, but it didn’t answer. Hollowness filled me. There was no magic here.
Only emptiness.
21
“Renée?” Mom’s voice startled me awake.
My eyes flew open. Light assaulted me. I covered my face with my arm, groaning. Where were we? I squinted against the brightness and glanced around. Grandmere’s house?
Pain smashed into my skull, making my vision spin. Fear shot through my veins. Memories came flooding back, my stomach churned as they filled my mind. We’d been in the woods. I blinked at Mom.
Relief surrounded her as she pulled me into her embrace. Her sobs echoed through me, snapping me back to the present. We were tracking the Raj’ani.
I pulled away with a gasp. “The Raj’ani?”
She wiped tears from her eyes. “Yes. We got him. Thanks to you.”
My brow furrowed. I winced as I tried to recall what had happened. I didn’t remember capturing it. My vision went out of focus. I shook my head trying to get rid of the blurriness. Had something happened to my eyes?
“I thought I’d lost you. You were trapped for a whole day.”
I met her gaze. “Trapped? Trapped where?”
She sniffed. “In your mind.” She placed a warm hand over my forehead. “It’s still so fragile in there. You can’t push yourself right now, Renée. You must rest. You almost shattered your mind into pieces.” Her voice cracked.
My blood ran cold.
“Promise me, you’ll rest. Don’t use your magic for the rest of the day. Not even a little bit. It’s too dangerous.” Her words rang through me.
“Okay.”
She hugged me again. “You were so brave, love.”
I returned her embrace, but only felt numbness at her affection. I tried to remember what had happened, but everything was jumbled.
My eyes snapped to her. “Did you erase my memory?”
She gave me a startled look. “What? No! I only put a barrier up so that you could recover.”
I frowned. “I can’t remember what happened. How did I wake up?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I was so worried you wouldn’t.”
My lips pursed together, but try as I might, I couldn’t figure it out. It was if I couldn’t access that part of my mind and it was irritating. I needed to know how I’d captured the creature and how I had escaped my mind.
“Just rest, Renée. Please,” Mom pleaded.
“Tell me what happened.”
She held my hands in hers. “You tried to reach out to the cr
eature with your link and it pulled you in, too deep into your mind. We tried to bring you back, but you couldn’t hear us. We were all so worried. Then we found the Raj’ani just where the dragon said he’d be. In the cave. But he was the same as you, stuck in his mind. Whatever happened, happened to both of you.”
Confusion washed over me. Was the connection still there? I couldn’t tell with the barrier up.
“I think your mind started to crack and your magic paralyzed you, keeping you safe, but stuck and because of your connection, the same happened to the Raj’ani.”
My head spun as I tried to absorb her words. “Where is it now? Is it awake?”
She shrugged. “We have it sedated and caged, but I don’t know if it woke up at the same time as you did just now.”
I cringed. Sedated and caged?
My legs swung out of the bed. I had to go see the creature. Was it alright?
Mom caught me before I could stand up. “Wait, Renée. You need to rest.”
Blowing out a sigh, I stopped moving. “No, Mom. I have to see the Raj’ani.”
Her forehead crinkled with worry. “There is time. Just slow down. I almost lost you.”
I didn’t respond. I knew she was worried, but something drove me to find the creature. Maybe the link hadn’t been broken at all. Did that mean I could be trapped in my mind again? Chills crawled up my spine. I couldn’t remember what it had been like, but something told me it hadn’t been pleasant.
“When can I see it?”
“I don’t see why she can’t now.” Aunt Cindra’s voice startled me.
I glanced up as she entered the room. Her smile lit up her face as she walked in. I could sense her relief and joy as she joined us. She hugged me tightly to her chest, her smell enveloping me. Sage and fire. The smell brought back memories of her court—before the abyss had destroyed it. I pushed away the depressing thoughts and glanced at Mom.
“Can I go see it?”
Mom’s lips pursed, but she nodded. Aunt Cindra took me by the arm and led me toward the door. Before we made it halfway across the room, a blur of curls flew at me. I laughed as Mag wrapped herself around my leg, her happiness bubbling off her.
“Princess!” she squealed.
She let go of me to retrieve her little pointed hat that had fallen in her ambush.
I smiled at her. “I’m okay, Mag.”
Her brown eyes widened. “I missed you.”
My heart warmed at her sincerity. “I missed you too.”
She hugged me again and held onto my hand as I followed Aunt Cindra and Mom out of the room. For a moment, I almost expected to see Grimera there. Then I remembered, the dryad—like the rest of Feylin—was frozen in time.
I pushed back the sorrow threatening to rise and squared my shoulders. We had the creature. Now we just had to get to that portal.
They led me outside to the bird sanctuary. Above it, Fearless hovered. The dragon flew closer to see me.
Greetings, halfling! I am happy to see you well.
I smiled up at the dragon. “I’m happy to see you too, Fearless.”
I’m guarding the Raj’ani. Tricky creatures, you know, but not to worry. I have this one under control.
“Thank you, Fearless.”
I stopped in my tracks as my eyes landed on the poor creature. Its large blue eye was open, but I could tell right away, it wasn’t awake. Was it still stuck in its own mind? Fear filled me. How was it going to use its power to destroy the abyss if it couldn’t wake itself up? If I tried to enter its mind again, would it break both of us?
“We will keep the creature here, locked away. Under guard,” Aunt Cindra instructed.
I stared at the motionless creature. It stood leaning against the bar, the feathers on its head poking out of the metal. Memories of the birds that had made the sanctuary home flashed in my mind. Grimera had always left the door open so they could come and go as they pleased.
The Raj’ani wasn’t going anywhere and though I knew the reason for its captivity, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for it. All it had wanted was freedom. Now it was in two cages—one a mental prison and one a metal cage.
“Don’t even think about letting it loose.” The queen’s stony voice startled me.
I turned to face her, wincing at the movement. She glared at us as she approached. Hatred poured off her in waves. A hatred and misery I’d never seen before. I blinked at her in surprise. Had I become powerful enough to sense her emotions?
Her eyes narrowed on me. “Don’t wake the creature.”
I frowned. “I wasn’t going to.”
She moved toward us, her gown trailing the snowy ground. Though I couldn’t read her thoughts, I could sense her rage and hunger for power. It fueled her very being. I shuddered. She was more the monster than the Raj’ani. There was also a sorrow buried within her, something she had guarded for so long.
“Do you think you can read my mind, halfling?” Her voice was velvety soft.
Mom stepped in front of us. “Nobody has that power.”
Aunt Cindra sniffed. “Except Belle perhaps.”
The queen stiffened. Her anger coiled around her. Anger not that she had lost the king’s love to the pesan, but that someone less deserving had stolen what was rightfully hers. What she had rightfully won.
Her blue eyes flashed. “That elf will be dealt with when we return.”
Mom bristled. “She returned to help us.”
The queen spun toward her. “There is no us. You were never mine. My daughter would have been the true heir, but her blood is on your hands.”
Pain reeled through Mom. Her memories flashed before me. The face of an elf who was the spitting image of the queen. Goblin children shaking in terror. I summoned my magic and built a barrier against the memories.
“If we cannot save Feylin from the abyss, there will be no need for an heir.” Aunt Cindra interrupted.
The queen sneered at her. “You cannot defend her anymore, Cindra. When we return, I will make right all the wrongs.” Her eyes shot to mine.
“What wrongs?” Aunt Cindra demanded.
Fear and suspicion floated in the air around her. The queen turned away without an answer and disappeared. I shuddered, fighting off the creeping fear. We had enough to worry about with stopping the abyss. I wasn’t ready to deal with the queen too.
“Come, let’s get some food into you.” Mom tugged me toward the cabin.
I let her lead me as Aunt Cindra droned on about how they had dragged the creature back and how brave and clever I’d been to trap it inside itself. I listened to her in silence, not feeling at all clever or brave. The same worry replayed again and again. How would we wake it to destroy the abyss when it was time and if we could wake it, would it be fully recovered as I was?
Once inside, Gena and Des greeted me. The queen was nowhere to be seen, but I doubted she would care about my sudden resurrection. I scanned the room for Sacha, but he was missing as well.
As if reading my mind, Mag gasped. “Oh! Sacha. He went for a walk in the woods. I have to tell him you’re awake. He will be so happy!” Mag smiled.
I returned the smile, not wanting to rob her of her joy, though deep down I wondered if Sacha would be as happy as the brownie thought he would. Shame filled me as I remembered our last conversation. It hadn’t been a pleasant one.
“Come, let’s eat.” Aunt Cindra ushered us to the kitchen.
Des smirked. “I didn’t think you would succumb to human culture so quickly, Princess.”
She whipped toward him. “What are you talking about?”
His smile deepened. “All the meals and snacks.”
Aunt Cindra’s lip curled. “So? We have feasts and treats in Feylin. I see no reason not to continue our tradition.:
He laughed. “Seeds and fruit? Soup and broth? Not much of a feast.”
Her eyes flashed. I winced at the pain behind them. Was she thinking about her beautiful palace and balls? The Red Court was gone now.
Des stilled. “Princess…” he trailed off; his eyes averted as he realized his mistake.
Aunt Cindra lifted her chin. “No, you’re right, Des. This is nothing compared to what a princess is used to. Though I’d think for a vulgaire, you’d consider broth a luxury.”
Des’s jaw clenched. “Your privilege is showing, Princess.”
She pushed past him, nostrils flaring. Rage simmered in the air around her as she retreated outside. Des watched her go, his own emotions clashing wildly. Noticing our stares, he glared at us and walked up the stairs.
Gena whistled. “Wow. I’ve never seen so much… angst. I knew Desy had it bad for her, I mean why else would he want Baba’s help in locking away his memories? But I had no idea it was that bad.”
I whipped toward her. “What did you say?”
She blinked at me. “I... I didn’t mean to offend you.”
“No. No. About the memories?”
“Oh, that. Yes. Des tried to make a deal with Baba for one of her memory pendants. You see, she can lock away your memories. For safe keeping or destroying.” Gena shrugged. “I’m not sure Des had decided which he wanted.”
“You mean he wanted to forget my aunt?”
She gave me a sad smile. “She’s caused him a lot of pain. Sometimes it’s easier to forget.”
“But he said Baba wouldn’t help elves.”
Gena sighed. “That’s right. She has a thing about elves. No one knows why exactly, but she isn’t very forthcoming with her help, anyway. There is always a price.”
Mom nodded in agreement. “Yes, I remember hearing about that witch when we lived in the city. Of course, I made it a point to avoid her completely.”
Gena’s words shook me to the core. What if this memory pendant was the answer I’d been looking for? I could safely lock away my memories before I attempted to control the Raj’ani again. My heart twisted as I thought of Des trying to forget his past. Did he still feel the same?
Giving her and Mom a polite smile, I excused myself from the room and went after Des. My mind raced. If I could save my memories, I wouldn’t have to be afraid of controlling the Raj’ani. If it woke up. I could have a clear mind when I took over its powers.
