He dresses me, helping me step into them. And once the soft cotton touches my hips, he puts the shirt on over my head and lets me step into my shorts. He’s taking care of me to a new degree. It makes me feel more than just loved. I feel like I’m truly his.
I hold onto the back of his neck while he zips my shorts, his body so close to mine again. He fishes the button through the hole, tension constricting his muscles. My breath is ragged. How is this possible? I just orgasmed.
I look up at him as he finishes. “I guess that answers my question.”
“What question?”
“Before, I was going to ask you if this was it for us.”
He frowns. “What are you fucking talking about?”
I don’t back down to the darkness in his features. I cling to every dangerous quality he possesses. “I just thought you’d want to go back to being just friends after what happened with my face.”
His confusion turns into a hard glare. “I’m not with you because you’re a fucking model.”
“I know.”
“Clearly you didn’t.”
“I do now.”
He’s not happy with that answer. “I didn’t think I was going to have to spell it out for you, Calloway.”
“Now I’m confused.”
He shakes his head. “I’ve never met a fucking girl that I wanted to stick around for longer than a month, and then I became friends with you—”
I cut him off, “And I thought that you could go back to being my friend.”
“No, you thought that I’d want to. You think I’m with you just because you’re fucking gorgeous? Daisy, I could have been with you the moment you turned eighteen. Having sex with a hot fucking girl that gets me hard isn’t worth risking the relationship I have with my brother.”
I breathe heavily. “What’s worth the risk then?”
“What we fucking have,” he says. “I love you beyond physical attraction.” He cups my smooth cheek, looking deep into my eyes. “I love you, Dais, because you’re the wildest fucking girl with the biggest fucking heart. And without you in my life”—he shakes his head like it’s an inconceivable picture—“I’d be the unhappiest fucking guy.”
His words flood me with so much emotion. For however ineloquent they are, they sound perfect off his lips—because they’re one-hundred percent Ryke Meadows. I focus on the three most important ones of the bunch.
“You love me,” I breathe.
He lets out a short laugh. “You’re such a fucking girl.”
“Say it again.”
He smiles, a full blown one that tingles my body all over. “I fucking love you, sweetheart.”
I lean in to kiss him, forgetting I’m hurt, but he holds my jaw, controlling the touch of our lips that desperately wants to be something more. Before it turns wild, he kisses my forehead and murmurs, “I’m not going anywhere.”
I never knew that a relationship could be so mental, so emotional before all the physical. I wonder if we’re doing this backwards or if this has been the right way all along.
Right. I’ve found the one person who makes me the happiest, but I just wonder how long I’ll be able to keep him. I wonder if there are too many outside forces pulling us apart for this to last.
I’ll take each day as they come.
Live in the moment with Ryke Meadows.
If I ever die, I want that across my headstone.
< 29 >
DAISY CALLOWAY
Janet hands me a plastic bag with all my valuables and the bloodied maroon turtleneck I was wearing that night. I slip the gold ring on my thumb while Ryke heads down the hall, talking on the phone and waiting for me to leave.
“You need to go over to that cashier’s window and they’ll give you the hospital bill.”
I nod. “Will the ambulance fee be added with that?” I don’t know how the French medical system works.
Janet frowns. “There is no ambulance fee. Didn’t you know that?”
I shake my head. “No, but I…” I blink as I wrack my brain. The pub isn’t even close to this hospital, so how…
“He carried you,” Janet says, a hand to her chest, like that night was emotional, even for her. “You were in his arms when he reached the hospital doors. He arrived about ten minutes before anyone else from the riot.”
Tears well, and I suppress them as best I can. My voice trembles. “He ran here?”
She nods and reaches out to touch my wrist in comfort. I glance down the hallway at Ryke who speaks with force into the phone, like he wants the person on the other end to fully listen to him. He’s the hero of my story, but he refuses to claim any of those moments, as if they don’t matter.
They do matter. Everyone sees partial sides to Ryke, and he lets them think he’s just an athlete with no brains, an aggressive asshole. It’s like he’s been alone for so long that he’s lost any interest in showing off his worth.
I think I’ve hit the lottery—to have him in my life.
To me, he’s worth every loud moment, every peaceful silence, the crazy and the sad, the restless and the quiet. I would trade it all to be with him, but I have a feeling there will be no price for my mom. She’ll keep us apart at any cost.
I feel it in my bones like a bad, bad omen.
< 30 >
RYKE MEADOWS
“What the fuck is Rose hiding?” I snap at Lily on the phone. I decided to call her while I wait for Daisy to finish sorting through her belongings.
Daisy looks up at me with a plastic baggy in her hand and then points to a cashier’s window, standing in the line.
I nod to her and listen to Lily’s response. I’m not expecting much.
“Like I told Lo, I’ve made this pact with Rose not to talk about it, like a Ya-Ya Sisterhood thing, and I can’t go back on my word. And just so you know, Rose is scary. She took out a knife and was saying something about blood oaths, and before I knew it, she slit my palm.” Her voice lowers, almost comically that it’s hard to take her serious. But she is. “And this comes from a girl who cannot walk on the hardwood without shoes. You don’t have to say anything, it surprised me too.”
I roll my eyes. “Lily,” I say forcefully. “If it’s something serious, you need to tell my brother.”
“The pact,” Lily hisses. “What if Rose put a curse on me? I can’t say anything.”
“You can’t be that fucking superstitious.”
“Rose might as well be a supernatural force when she’s upset. You haven’t seen her truly angry, so you can’t say anything.”
“I’ve seen her so fucking pissed that she almost tased my brother, how’s that?”
“This is a different kind of upset,” Lily says. “We’re handling this, okay? I think it’s good that Lo is with you, and I’m here with Rose for a little bit.”
I frown, never thinking I’d hear Lily say that. She’s usually glued to my brother’s side and vice versa. “You’re really okay without him?”
Silence stretches before she says, “I mean, I miss him a lot more than I can articulate. It hurts without him here. But I’m better than I was when he first left for rehab. I’m at a better place.”
“I know you are,” I tell her. Back then, she was almost in tears every time I called her. It was kind of fucking pathetic, but I didn’t understand their relationship. I didn’t understand that kind of unconditional love. And then Daisy left, and I felt out of my fucking mind for three days. I yelled at Lily for bitching after only seven days without Lo, so who’s the hypocrite now?
“We’re meeting you in two weeks right?” Lily asks. “It won’t be too long.”
“You sure you want to keep it a fucking surprise from Daisy?” I ask. Rose has been calling me non-fucking-stop, trying to find ways to see Daisy without upsetting her. I told them that they should just meet us on the road, but to wait until her face heals a little. They agreed.
“She likes surprises,” Lily says. “Otherwise, we would have told her.”
She’s
right about that. “Just don’t come early. I can’t spend thirty days in a car with all of you. Eighteen is already too fucking much.”
“Weren’t you the one who wanted to start the road trip in New York?”
I groan in agitation. “You’re annoying me, Calloway.”
“All I’m saying is that you could have picked a closer place to California, and then we wouldn’t have to be in a car for so long.”
“That defeats the fucking point of a road trip. If it was up to you and Rose, we would have started in California.”
She pauses and then says, “Now that sounds like a good idea.”
I roll my eyes again. I let out a deep sigh. “Can you promise me something?” I ask her.
“That depends. Does it involve breaking a promise to my sister that will unleash her diabolical wrath?”
“Promise me that whatever it is, you’ll be fucking safe. And be careful on your way out to us. My brother can’t live without you. I’m expendable, you aren’t.”
“You can’t honestly think that about yourself,” she says softly.
“Just promise me, Lily.”
“I promise, but Ryke—he needs you. You’re his brother.”
I shake my head. To Lo, I’m equal to Connor. We met Lo at nearly the same fucking time. In fact, Connor has some months on me. For fuck’s sake, Lo made us flip a coin to determine who would be his best man at his wedding. I didn’t get it by fucking default because I’m related to him. In less than a year, I’ll be standing by his side as he’s about to get married, all because of luck.
A flip of a coin.
He can so easily push me out of his life, and the only reason I’m still here is because I refuse to go, no matter how hard he shoves.
But Daisy…I know in my heart she’s something that can drive me away from him. I’m going to fight against the moment, but I also mentally prepare for it. “Sure,” I tell her. “Listen, do whatever Yada Sisterhood thing—”
“Ya-Ya,” she corrects me.
“Whatever,” I say. “Just don’t let Rose fucking cut you. Stick up for yourself.”
“Is that what you’ve been telling my little sister?” she asks, flipping the switch.
“I tell her a lot of fucking things,” I say. “And yeah, that’s one of them.”
“Good,” Lily says. I can practically see her nod with resoluteness, in this goofy fucking way.
“Are you wearing an animal on your fucking head?” I ask her.
“You know what it’s called.”
“No I don’t.”
“It’s a Wampa cap.”
“That Star Trek shit?” I say, knowing that it’s Star Wars. I like to give her a hard time.
“Star Wars. Lo would kick you for that.”
“Good thing he’s not fucking around.” My brother, a fucking comic book geek with looks that could murder and simultaneously melt women. It’s so fucking weird. Who would have thought? Nine years ago, not me.
There’s a long pause before she asks, “How is she doing?”
I glance at Daisy who rocks on her feet, antsy as she stands in one place for so long. Her bandaged cheek is on the other side. The only marks visible are the bruises beneath her eyes. I remember her smile as she came, her laugh and the genuine happiness that blanketed over her. I wish this bad fucking thing didn’t have to happen for her to make these hard decisions about modeling, but I am glad she’s finally made them.
“She’s going to be okay,” I tell Lily. “She looks good.” She looks fucking beautiful.
“Thank you, for what you did,” Lily says. “We all appreciate it, you know.”
I don’t pick my words that carefully. I just fucking say them. “I’d do anything for her.”
“Is it different this time?” she asks me.
“What do you mean?”
“In Cancun a couple years ago, you kind of saved Daisy back then too. I just wondered if you feel differently now.” What is she getting at?
“Say it fucking bluntly or don’t say it at all.”
She sighs. “Why do you have to be so mean?”
“I didn’t think I was,” I snap.
“Do you like her more now than you did then?” she says straight out.
“She was only sixteen back then,” I tell her. “I didn’t hang out with her that much.” The truth is way more complicated than that.
“Just say it bluntly or don’t say it at all,” Lily rebuts, with ten times less force than me.
I almost smile. “She means a fucking lot to me, Calloway.” It’s still not much better but it seems to appease Lily.
“Have you told this to Lo?” she asks.
“What would it fucking matter? He sees what he wants to see.” I’m the intruder, the fucking guy he opened his arms to, the guy he let in his life. If I stick my cock anywhere near Daisy, he will be affronted as though I fucked with his family, his friends, his world.
“He sees what you give him,” Lily says softly, “and you’re not giving him a lot to work with, Ryke.”
I run my hand through my hair and sigh. I’m so fucking scared to open up about my history with my own brother. That’s the fucking truth. I did wrong by him for so long, and if I start talking about it, I feel like I’ll just push him away more. I’ll give him no reason to be close to me. I have years of hate underneath my belt, no fucking love.
So why express that? What fucking good will that do?
I just want to forget it all and move on.
Daisy reaches the front of the line.
“I have to go,” I tell Lily.
“Was she happy that she’s able to go with you guys to California?” she asks before we hang up.
“Yeah,” I say, my chest rising with the fucking fact. “I’ll keep her safe.”
“You be safe,” Lily emphasizes. “You’re the one climbing. I’m packing a first-aid kit, just in case you fall, so you know.”
“Your fucking Band-Aid isn’t going to save me.”
“Wolverine is printed on the front. He can save anyone.”
I roll my eyes for the fifth time it feels like. “Let’s just hope we all make it there in one piece.”
Daisy starts walking over to me.
“Gotta go.”
“Bye.” We hang up, and I slide my arm over Daisy’s shoulder and carry her duffel. Mikey is going to stay in France for another two weeks as vacation, hopefully distracting the paparazzi and leading them off our trail. For the first time in a while, we should be free of the media.
“You ready for a fucking adventure, sweetheart?” I ask her.
She hugs me close and says, “Does this adventure contain cupcakes, Ryke Meadows and motorcycles?”
“Substitute the last one for a fucking rental car.”
She smiles. “I’m ready for this awfully big adventure then.” She pauses and adds, “With you.”
I kiss her temple.
30 days until Yosemite.
The fucking countdown begins.
< 31 >
RYKE MEADOWS
Seven days into the road trip, and I’m already fighting with my brother.
“Do you know how fucking inappropriate you are?” Lo is half-turned around in the front seat of the SUV, his jaw clenching as he lays into me. The surprising fucking bit of all this: it’s not even about Daisy.
It’s about Lily.
His fucking fiancée.
“I’m pretty fucking inappropriate,” I admit with a shrug. “I thought we all already knew that. So why are you hounding me about this?”
Lo gives me a look like are you serious? “You can’t talk about that shit with her. She’s a fucking sex addict.”
Connor’s eyes flicker to me in the rearview mirror, his hands tight on the steering wheel. Whether he sides with Lo or me, he doesn’t let on. Daisy twists her hair into a long braid beside me.
I groan loudly. “She’s so embarrassed to talk about sex. I was doing her a fucking favor, and secondly, I don’t know why you’
re yelling at me now. This conversation happened months ago.” Thanks, Lil, for bringing it up right now. When I’m in a confined space for fucking hours with my brother.
Lily and I talk often, but I don’t remember how we arrived onto the topic about public sex, maybe because she mentioned how she missed it. It’s one of her restrictions now that she’s in recovery. I was sitting on their couch, waiting for Lo to change for the gym, and I asked her all the places she’s done it.
Her face flushed red and she stumbled for answers. I thought it’d make her more comfortable if I listed my sexual fucking adventures.
Beaches.
Bathrooms.
Golf courses.
Woods.
Parking lots.
Elevators.
Parks.
Malls.
Gym locker rooms.
The list really just goes on and fucking on. I like screwing everywhere, especially outside. Lily started to open up a little bit. It wasn’t my fucking intention to share our sexual exploits with each other, but I just wanted to make her feel less ashamed about her sex life. So fuck me.
She told me she had sex with Lo in a movie theatre once. And how she did it at an amusement park when she was eighteen, on the fucking Ferris wheel.
My first thought: I have to give her some credit for that one. It sounded fucking fun.
And then she told me it was with a random guy she met at the cotton candy booth.
My insides kind of twisted. For her. For my brother. I wish she could have just enjoyed sex like me, but instead it was something else entirely for her. Something darker.
“I appreciate you trying to make her comfortable,” Lo says in a way that sounds like he really doesn’t appreciate it. “But for Christ’s sake, she’s texting me to clarify public sex to her.” He shakes his head and looks down at his phone and reads her text. “Is tent sex considered public sex, if the tent is owned by us? Because some people live in tents. Therefore that would be a house, and a house isn’t public, it’s private. Therefore, tent sex is private sex.”
Connor tries really hard not to make a sound (at least I think he does) but he ends up bursting into laughter.
Hothouse Flower (Calloway Sisters) Page 22
