by Megan Hustad
success authors’ views of, 3-8 Berne, Eric, 129-30 biographical summary, brief, 13-14 Blair, Jayson, 163-64 Bobos in Paradise (Brooks), 202 body language, 216-17. See also smiles
Bolles, Richard N., 201 Books That Shaped Successful People (Kelly, ed.), 212 Borden, Richard C., 202 bosses. See also mistakes apologies and, 160-62,165-66 attention to detail and, 187 attentiveness to needs of, 58-59 as audience, 67-68 disappointment and, 157-58,
159-60
discomfort in, 165 expectations of, 64-65 faith in perceptiveness of, 6-8, 67-68
learned helplessness and, 186-87 “level of incompetence” and, 115-16,121,124 sucking up and, 23-24 wrong sorts of, 120-21 Breakfast at Tiffany’s (Capote novel), 37,203
Bressler, Heidi, 180-81 Bridget Jones’s Diary (Fielding novel), 146
Bright Lights, Big City (film), 169 Brooks, David, 202 Brooks Brothers, 96-97
Brown, Helen Gurley early career of, 108, 111, 116-17, 147-48
I’m Wild Again, 202 Sex and the Office, 112-19 Sex and the Single Girl, xix, 111-12,115,125,126-27 Bruce, Lenny, 202-3 Burns, Joan Simpson, 203 Bush, David V., 30 Bushnell, Candace, 88-89 Byrne, Rhonda, 22n
Calero, Henry, 106,150,216-17 Capote, Truman, 37,203 Camagey, Dale. See Carnegie, Dale Carnegie, Andrew, xix, 53n advice from, 3,4-6,8,9,47,178 Hill’s Master Mind approach and, 75-77
personal history of, 4n-5n Carnegie, Dale, xxi, 31,53-57,154, 162,211,216,217. See also How to Win Friends and Influence People; self-absorption standard first book by, 66-67,205 personal qualities of, 59-61,65,
69,139
Carnegie, Dorothy, 71 Casablanca (film), 147 Cawelti, John G., 200-201,204 charm, 126-27 “Chart of Virtues,” 206 cheerfulness, 26. See also flattery;
New Thought approach Chesterfield, Lord, 168,169,207-8 choices, belief in having, 156,203. See also saying no Churchill, Sir Winston, 105 Citibank ad campaign, 193 Class: A Guide Through the American Class System (Fussell), 206 Collins, Jim, 175
communication. See also asking questions; conversation; smiles being convincing and, 65-68,217 communication {corn)
being democratic and, 8S-89,186 ending speeches and, 70-71 “I feel” phrasing and, 124 obligation to audience and,
65-68
scripts and, 14-15 selectivity and, 87,123-24 compliments. See flattery conforming, value of, 95-100,101-4.
See also dressing for work Connors, Jessie, 189 The Conquest of Cool (Frank), 206 conversation. See also asking questions; interviews; self-deprecation; snark at dinner, 36-37 importance of curiosity and,
42-48
intimidation by, 220 keeping it simple, 150 qualities of good talkers and, 213 saying nothing and, 40-42,87,
215
thoughtless, 37-38,39-40 The Corporation (Bakan), 201 Coue, Emile, 28-29,154n, 213-14 Covey, Stephen, xix, 155-56,158,
160-61,164,166-67,170 coworkers. See also Master Mind accepting blame and, 164-67 attitude toward, 135 being democratic and, 88-89,186 being hated by, 127-28 limiting confidences with,
123-24
credit giving, 172 credit taking, 88 Crisp, Quentin, 152 criticism. See also mistakes artful use of, 34-35 negative effects of, 20-21,22-25 curiosity. See also asking questions importance of, 45-48,51-52 reciprocity and, 42-44 cynicism, xiv-xix. See also snark appearances and, 103
origins of, 190-91,193-95 productivity and, 35 self-absorption standard and, 57-58
days off, taking, 186 dedication, 149
deference, 41-42,47,117,122-23 Depreciations (Herts), 208-9 desk, neatness of, 104-5 Deutsch, Donny, 183 Disraeli, Benjamin, 27-28,31,33 “disruptive power of achievement,” 116-17
Dodd, Allen R., Jr., 204-5 Dostoyevsky problem, 62-65 “dramatic realization,” 67-68 Dreiser, Theodore, 205 Dress for Success (Molloy), 92-95, 103
dressing for work
Brooks Brothers and, 95-97 dress codes and, 100-101 guidelines for, 104-6 “interview suit” and, 92-95 personal style and, 91-92,98-99, 105-6
value of conforming and, 95-100, 101-4 dullness, 7-8
Ehrenreich, Barbara, 202 Einstein, Albert, 105 Elgin, Suzette Haden, 159-60 e-mail
Cc’s on, 165
grievances in, 159-60,165 response to, 182 Trump and, 177
Emotional Bank Accounts, 160-61, 167
emotional glamour, 142-44 Engel, Peter, 142,146 Erhard, Werner, 132-33,135n Esenwein, J. Berg, 205 Esquire Etiquette, 205-6 “est” movement, 132-33
Etiquette: In Society, In Business, In Politics, and at Home (Post), 36-37,3S-A0,42,46-^7,51, 112n
Everybody Wins: Transactional Analysis Applied to Organizations (Jongeward), 130-32 Executive Style (Price), 220 explanations mistakes and, 158-60,161-64 saying no and, 185-86 “externalizing machines,” 201
facial expression. See smiles failure. See mistakes Fairchild Publications, 100-101 Fear of Falling (Ehrenreich), 202 Field, Cyrus West, 13 Fielding, Helen, 146 film costuming, 99 firings. See The Apprentice; losing a job; saying no first impressions, 12-13,199 fishing approach, 44-45 Fitzgerald, F. Scott, 24,33,147,195, 206
flair, 105-6 flattery care in use of, 33,34 New Thought approach and, 27-28,29-30,31 saying no and, 183-84 Ford, Henry, 82-83 “the 4 E’s,” 175 Frank, Thomas, 206 Franklin, Benjamin, 206 frankness, 70,89-90,169,211 freeloading, 125-26 Fussell, Paul, 206
Games People Play (Berne), 130,133 Gates, Bill, 139
Getting On in the World (Mathews), 6
Gilbert, Bill, 213
goals
Master Mind concept and, 78, 80-81,90
of others, 57-61
Goffman, Erving, 67,206-7,221 Goldman, William, 147 Goode, Kenneth M., 57-58 Goodman, Paul, 101-2,207 Good to Great (Collins), 175 “goose that lays golden eggs,” 160, 161
gossip, 87. See also snark Great Failure Army, 21,22. See also snark
Great Fortunes (McCabe), 214 Greeley, Horace, 10-12 Grigg, John. See The American Chesterfield griping, 144
Growing Up Absurd (Goodman), 101-2,207
guidelines for success asking questions and, 48-51 attracting attention and, 12-16 cheerfulness approach and, 32-35 dressing for work and, 104-6 Master Mind and, 87-90 mistakes and, 167-70 saying no and, 185-88 self-absorption standard and, 69-71
self-deprecation and, 149-52 Guide to Effective Living (Mager and Mager), 51
Gurley Brown, Helen. See Brown, Helen Gurley
Hall, Edward T., 106 Hamper, Ben, 165 handshake, 16
hands-on-hips position, 150-51 hard work, faith in, xiii-xv. See also meritocracy Harris, Thomas A., 131 Harvard Business Review, 25n-26n, 121n
Head, Edith, 97-98,99-100,103,105 helpfulness to others, 117-23,176-77, 182
Henry, Amy, 187
Herts, B. Russell, 208-9 Hill, Napoleon, 139,209-10 Master Mind concept and,
75-78
Think and Grow Rich, xix, 73-75, 77-78,82,83-84,90,209 Hill, Rosa Lee, 209-10 Hilton, Conrad, xix-xx, 195-96 Hilton, Paris, xix, xx Hints on Life: And How to Rise in Society (Amicus), 3-4 Howells, William Dean, 138-39, 151-52,210
How to Attract Men and Money (Hill), 209-10
How to Dress for Success (Head), 97-98,99-100,103,105 How to Get What You Want
(Marden), 20,28. See also Marden, Orison Swett How to Lose Friends and Alienate People (Tressler), 222 How to Read a Person Like a Book (Nierenberg and Calero), 106, 150,216-17
How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying (film), 111 How to Talk Dirty and Influence People (Bruce), 202-3 How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere (King), xiv, 213 How to Turn People into Gold (Goode), 57-58
How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie), xxi, 31, 53-57,154,162,222 being convincing and, 65-68 fundamental philosophy of,
55-57
importance-seekers and, 61-65 others’ goals and, 57-61 Hubbard, L. Ron, 132 The Hucksters (Wakeman), 95-96, 102-3
Hull, Raymond, 115-16 humble beginnings stories. See self-deprecation lacocca, Lee A., 139,210-11 Vm OK—You’re OK (Harris), 131 importance seekers, 61-65,70,71-72 Imus, Don, 183-84 Influencing Human Behavior (Over-street), 65-66,68,71,89,217 Ingratiation (
Jones), 30,139,144, 184n insanity, and feeling important,
61-62,65,71-72
Instant Secretary’s Handbook (Luck), 178
interviews. See also The Apprentice; dressing for work brief biographical summary and, 13-14
explanations and, 163-64 “frank self-confidence” and,
13-14
ironic detachment, xiv-xix
Jackson, Kwame, 180 job descriptions, and workplace realities, xi-xxi
The Job Hunter: The Diary of a uLost“ Year (Dodd), 204-5 Jones, Edward E., 30,139,144,184n Jongeward, Dorothy, 130-32
Kelly, Kevin H.,212 Kettle, James, 132-33 King, Larry, xiv, 213 Krantz, Judith, 177,184 Kraushar, Jon, 199
labels, 27,32-33. See also snark Law of Attraction, 21-22,26,28,35 learned helplessness, 186-87 Lee, Tammy, 180
“level of incompetence,” 115-16,121, 124
leverage, 180-82 Levine, Mel, xiii Lifemanship (Potter), 219-20 Limbach, Dan, 96n listening, 215
avoiding self-delusion and, 143
interest in others and, 87 pseudolistening and, 164 Livingston, J. Sterling, 121 n Looking Out for No. 1 (Ringer), 134-35
losing a job. See also saying no obstacles to saying no and,
176-77
“you’re fired” principle and, 172-75
Luck, Martha, 178 lying, 152
McAllister, Ward, 41 McCabe, James D., 214 McCarthy, Mary, 96 McConnell, James V., 71 McCormack, Mark, 143,161-62,213, 215
Mclnemey, Jay, 169 Mackay, Harvey, 213 MacNaghton, Hugh, 29,154n, 213-14 managerial incompetence, 114-16 Manigault-Stallworth, Omarosa, 179-80
“The Man in the Brooks Brothers
Shirt” (McCarthy short story), 96
“The Man in the Brooks Brothers Suit” ad campaign, 96 “many-sidedness,” 10-12 Marden, Orison Swett, xix, 20-23, 24-31,35,101,167 Mastering Executive Arts and Skills (Parris), 143,144 Master Mind (group) concept of, 75-78 corporate mingling and, 78-80 defense and, 169,202-3 definiteness and, 85-87 elements of, 77
formation of alliances in, 81-86 goals and, 80-81 guidelines for using, 87-90 Mathews, William, 6 Mencken, H. L., 31 mentors, identification of, 69-70
The Merchant’s Clerk Cheered and Counselled (Alexander), 9,13, 16,199
meritocracy, llOn. See also hard work, faith in Mills, C. Wright, 215-16 mistakes avoiding blame for, 154-55,156-57 confrontations over, 156-64 guidelines for response to, 167-70 proactive approach to, 158,160-61,164-67,170 recovering from, 47 rudeness and,88-89 self-defense and, 153-54,156, 158-60,161-64
The Seven Habits and, 155-56,158,
160- 61,164,166-67 success literature on, 154-55,
161- 62
Molloy, John T., 92-95,103 “Mona Lisa Ploy,” 220 Montag, Heidi, 158n Morgan, J. P., ‘t6’t-62 Morton, Agnes, 125
names, use of, 70 neatness, 104-5 necktie, 93-94
networking, 74,79-80,85. See also Master Mind
Network on Transitions to Adulthood survey, xiii new hires asking questions and, 43^16,48-51 opinions given by, 41-42,49 workplace realities and, xi-xiv New Thought approach, 21-22,26-31,35,154. See also flattery guidelines for using, 32-35 “nice.” See being “nice”
Nierenberg, Gerald, 106,150,216-17 no. See saying no nouveau riche conversation and, 36-37,39-41 new hires and, 39,41 obnoxiousness and, 36-40
nouveau riche (cont.)
relationship between Old Money and, 39-41,42-44,199 Novak, William, 210-11
obnoxiousness curiosity and, 42-48 nouveau riche and, 36-40 O’Connor, Cardinal, 184 The Office (BBC production), 62-65 “office clerk,” as term, 4n Onassis, Aristotle, 49-50 One-Upmanship (Potter), 219-20 The Optimistic Life (Marden), 21 organizational dynamics accepting blame and, 164-67 business etiquette and, 205-6 cynicism and, xiii-xix ignorance about, xi-xiii others, sensitivity to. See also self-absorption standard acting and, 117-18 charm and, 126-27 labels and, 27 mental illness and, 61-62 mockery and, 169 selflessness and, 86 topics of conversation and, 50 transactional analysis and, 129-35 The Over-Achievers (Engel), 142,146 Overstreet, Harry A., 65-66,68,71, 89,217
“Overtime,” 79-81
Packard, Vance, 96,217-18 Pan American smile, 69,187. See also smiles
Parker, Dorothy, 24 Parris, Crawley A., 143,144 Peale, Norman Vincent, 218-19 perfectionism importance-seekers and, 64-65 saying no and, 177-78,181,187 self-deprecation and, 149 Peter, Laurence J., 115-16 The Peter Principle (Peter and Hull), 115-16,121
Polly of the Circus (film), 60 posing, 1-3,16-17,207-8
advice on approaches to, 5-6,8-12 Americanness and, 11-12 problems with being yourself and, 1-8
ways to attract attention and, 5-6, 12-16
positive thinking. See New Thought approach; Peale, Norman Vincent
Post, Edwin, 219
Post, Emily, xix, 46,51-52,207,219 Etiquette: In Society, In Business, In Politics, and At Home, 36-37,38—40,42,46-47,51,112n Potter, Stephen, 219-20 powerlessness accepting blame and, 170 experiences of, 108-11,113 guidelines for dealing with, 123-28 responses to, 119-23 signs of corporate dysfunction and, 113-19
The Power of Positive Thinking (Peale), 218-19 P/PC balance, 161 preparedness, 13-14,15 The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (Goffman), 206-7,221 Price, Judith, 220 procedural opacity, 113-14 productivity, 35,161. See also perfectionism; slacking professional heroes, 27,77 Public Speaking—As Listeners Like It! (Borden), 202
Pushing to the Front (Marden), 31
Ragged Dick (Alger), 200-201 Rancic, Bill, 188 Ready or Not, Here Life Comes (Levine), xiii reciprocity, 42-44 re-enchantment with work, 190-96 regional differences small talk limits and, 50
stereotypes and, 14 resumes, lying on, 152 rhetorical questions, 167-68 Ringer, Robert J., 134-35 The Rise of Silas Lapham (Howells), 138-39,151-52,210 Rivington Street, Manhattan, 190-92 “A Road to Business Success: A
Talk to Young Men” (Andrew Carnegie), 3,4. See also Carnegie, Andrew
Rooms with No View (Strainchamps, ed.), 221
Roosevelt, Franklin Delano, 76-77 Rosenberg, Richard M., 212 Rosenthal, Ida, 118 rudeness, 88-89
Sam Walton: The Inside Story of
America’s Richest Man (Trimble), 222 saying no effective strategies for, 180-84 guidelines for, 185-88 leverage and, 180-82 obstacles to, 176,177-78 problems with saying yes and, 176-77
value of, 178-79 vision and, 184-85 Scarcity Mentality, 166-67 schadenfreude, 166 Schlemiel (game), 131-32 Schoenfeld, George, 183 Schulberg, Budd, 154-55,190-91 Schwab, Charles M., 9,13 Schwartz, Delmore, 101,102,206 “Scuttle” game, 108 The Secret (Byrne), 22n Secrets of a Corporate Headhunter (Wareham), 142,146-47, 174-75
self-absorption standard bad bosses and, 120-21 being convincing and, 65-68 Dale Carnegie’s philosophy and, 53-57
guidelines related to, 69-71 importance-seekers and, 61-65 others’ goals and, 57-61 self-assessment, 142-44 self-defense. See also mistakes mistakes and, 153-54,156 self-deprecation and, 151 self-deprecation effective strategies and, 143-44, 146-49
gone wrong, 138,140-41,144-46 guidelines for using, 149-52 literary precedents for, 138-40 potential as asset, 141-42 preemptive, 146-47 status conversations and, 136-38 VIP memoirs and, 138-40 selfishness, 119-20 self-pity, 16,192-95 The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (Covey), xix, 155-56, 158,160-61,164,166-67,170 Sex and the Office (Gurley Brown), 112-19
Sex and the Single Girl (Gurley
Brown), xix, 111-12,115,125, 126-27 shoes, 104 shyness, 45—46,47 signature question, 49-50 sincerity, 12,34,208-9 Sister Carrie (Dreiser), 205 slacking, 64-65,182 Slater, Robert, 172,181 sloppiness, 15,100,104 smartness snark and, 19-20,22-23,25-26, 31-32,35
wearing it lightly, 14 smiles forced, 69,187 importance of, 71 Law of Attraction and, 27,30 meaningful use of, 187-88,220 Smith, Adam, 221 snark, 19-20, 22-26, 31-32,35. See also gossip social class, 206,217-18. See also nouveau riche
Spunk: How to Lick Fear (Bush), 30n The Status Seekers (Packard), 96, 217-18
Steinbrenner, George, 183 stereotypes geographical, 14 of nouveau riche, 37-38 occupational, xviii Strainchamps, Eth
el, 221 “stupid chills,” 141n success literature. See also entries for specific titles avoidance of, xv-xix fundamental message of, 195 as guide, xix-xxi from the 1970s, 129-35 Success (magazine), 20-21 sucking up, 23-24. See also flattery Swim with, the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive (Mackay), 213
The Theory of Moral Sentiments (Smith), 221
Think and Grow Rich (Hill), xix, 73-75,77-78,82,83-84,90 three-question primer, 49 timing asking questions and, 48-49 compliments and, 33 saying no and, 181-83 self-deprecation and, 151 wit and, 33-34
transactional analysis, 129-32 Tressler, Irving, 222 Trimble, Vance H., 222 Truly Emily Post (Edwin Post), 219 Trump, Donald, xix. See also The Apprentice background of, 171,172-73
personal traits of, 177,181,183-84, 187-88
vision and, 184-85
Vayner, Aleksey, 6-7 Vetrini, Ereka, 188 Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, 51
Wakeman, Frederic, 95-96,102-3 Wall Street Journal, 104-5 Walters, Barbara, 49-50 Walton, Sam, 222
Wareham, John, 142,146-47,174-75 Warnock, Nick, 180 Weber, Nancy, 127,221 Welch, Jack, 138,139-40,148-49,175 Wenner, Jann, 104-5 Wharton, Edith, 41 n What Color Is Your Parachute? (Bolles), 201
What Makes Sammy Run? (Schul-berg), 154-55,190-91 What They Don’t Teach You at Harvard Business School (McCormack), 143,161-62,213, 215
White Collar: The American Middle Classes, 215-16 white shirts, 104 Winning Through Intimidation (Ringer), 134 Woodard, Jamal, 89
Young, Michael, llOn Young, Toby, 18 “you’re fired” principle business value of, 174-75 handling rejection and, 173 value of losing jobs and, 173-74
Zucker, Jeff, 172
1
Milt Freudenheim, “More Help Wanted: Older Workers Please Apply,” New York Times (March 23,2005).
2
Tom Smith, “Generation Gaps in Attitudes and Values from the 1970s to the 1990s.” Compiled from the General Social Surveys of the National Opinion Research Center, University of Chicago. Published in On the Frontier of Adulthood, eds. Richard A. Settersten Jr., Frank F. Furstenberg Jr., and Ruben G. Rumbaut (Chicago: The University of Chicago Press, 2005).
3
Some of us would say “literary nonfiction,” too, though to this day I’m not sure what that means.
4
