Instead of her first kiss on the lips, his mouth veered to the side and lightly brushed her cheek in a brotherly fashion, much as Trask did with her. Then, he murmured, “Thank you,” stood fully upright again, and put distance between them.
Disappointment swept through her, though she tried not to show it.
When he stiffened and the silence between them grew awkward, she knew she had failed. Even if he were interested, what could she offer him, other than a few passionate moments? His work was here, building the new city for his people. She came from a planet three days away by spaceflight, was committed to completing her physic training and beginning her career, and she couldn’t give him a family.
Perhaps friendship was enough. What harm would there be in giving the other a little comfort and companionship? Maybe in time, it could grow beyond that and include intimacy. She couldn’t think of anyone she’d rather initiate her. But how did she let him know that was enough for her or, from her perspective, better than nothing?
“It’s late. I should go.”
She nodded, face still angled up to his, but neither one of them turned to go. She licked her lips which had grown as parched as her throat from fighting words of wanting she dare not say.
A sound came from him, a groan halfway to a growl. As much as the noise, his next action surprised her. His hand slid around her waist, and he pulled her against him. At the same time, he cupped her jaw, his thumb beneath her chin holding her still as his lips lowered to hers.
Light, but insistent, the gentle caress sparked the flames of desire that had smoldered in her all week. Closing her eyes, she leaned into him, seeking more.
When he deepened the kiss, she opened eagerly, but she didn’t know what to do with his tongue in her mouth. She stayed passive, rather than returning the kiss, though she hardly felt immune to this first encounter. Somewhat giddy and breathless, she could feel the thud of her heart beating wildly in her chest as her hands came up and fisted in his shirt.
But just as she grabbed hold, he raised his head and gazed down at her. Disappointment raced through her. She didn’t want to stop, but, winded as she was, it was probably best they did.
“Was that your first kiss, darlin’?”
She blinked, jerked abruptly out of a Beck-induced daze. As his words penetrated her foggy brain, she averted her gaze, a surge of heat flooding her cheeks. “Did I do it wrong?” she asked in a mortified whisper.
“No, Adria, you did it perfectly,” he replied in a husky tone, his thumb lightly stroking her jaw in a reassuring caress. “But to keep from passing out, it helps if you breathe through your nose. Don’t be shy about kissing me back, either.”
Not needing an invitation other than that, she tightened her fists in his T-shirt, rose on tiptoe, and laid a hot, steamy kiss on him.
Beck’s arms swept around her as he tilted his head and sealed his lips over hers. Once again, his tongue delved into her mouth. The giddiness returned, but as the minutes passed, and she breathed through her nose as he’d suggested, it became easier, and hotter. Especially when his hand curled beneath her breast and his thumb grazed her nipple.
She clung to him, wanting it to go on forever. Regrettably, it did not.
With a ragged groan, he pulled away, ending it. “I didn’t intend for that to happen.”
“I know, but I’m not sorry at all. In fact, I’m genuinely glad it did.”
His head jerked in surprise. A heartbeat later, he grinned. “Your blatant honesty is refreshing.”
“Why would I lie?” She seemed perplexed at the very idea. “If you don’t know I like it, how will I get you to do it again?”
This time he chuckled.
“It’s after midnight. You should go inside.”
“I suppose I should. I have to work in the morning.”
Although both were in agreement, neither moved.
“Have dinner with me at Milton’s tomorrow. Afterward, we can take in the weekly movie at the meeting hall.”
“What’s a mov-ee?”
“Do you have the theater on Primaria?” At her nod, he explained further. “It’s like that but recorded digitally. I think this week’s show is a shoot-’em-up action flick.”
“O-kay,” she drawled, still not understanding.
His grin flashed briefly, dazzling white in the darkness. “You’ll understand when you see it. It’s your chance to be immersed in a part of everyday Earth culture, and I hear they make popcorn.”
“Conversation with you makes my head hurt sometimes.”
“Touché.”
“Huh?”
He laughed, and smoothed his thumb over her downturned lips. The simple touch made them tingle, and she yearned for another taste of his mouth on hers.
“So...about tomorrow night?”
“Yes. I’d like go to this mov-ee with you.” She waved her arm at the street. “Although, considering where I live, I’m pretty well immersed in Earth culture already.”
“I’ll pick you up after work. Wear your jeans again, and you’ll fit right in.” His fingers grazed her chin as he stepped away, ready to go. Down a step from her, he still blocked out the stars and the moon. He really was a big man, even by Primarian standards.
“Beck?”
“Yeah?”
“This mov-ee. Is it a date?”
He hesitated, and she regretted pressing too soon for a label.
“I don’t know. I enjoy spending time with you, and I really enjoyed that kiss.” Another pause then he murmured, “We’ll figure it out.”
She nodded. It was something, at least.
“See you soon.”
She repeated what she had the previous times he proposed she join him socially. “I look forward to it, Beck.” And she meant every word.
On Friday, after the action movie that showed true-to-life glimpses of his home planet, which he claimed was mostly filmed on a Hollywood soundstage—whatever that was—they shared another heated kiss at her door.
Warm and salty-sweet, he tasted like the buttered popcorn and box of Raisinets they’d shared. In that moment, she knew she’d never have either again without being reminded of Beck.
Once again, he ended it before she wanted to.
“We need to talk.”
“Now?” she asked, thoroughly winded. Even when she tried taking in air through her nose, his kisses still left her breathless.
“Yes, before this goes any further, I need to explain something about myself.”
That sounded ominous and set a knot forming in the pit of her stomach, but Adria answered tentatively. “You know my, uh, issues. I guess it’s only fair I know yours.”
“You’re an innocent, and I’m far from it.”
“Well, yes. I didn’t expect... I mean... You are older than me.”
“That’s another issue.”
“Nine years? I don’t think that it is.”
“Hear me out. One of the reasons I came here is I’m unattached. I didn’t have to worry about leaving a woman behind, and I never intended to look for one here.”
“Why?”
“It’s a case of been there done that.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ve been married, Adria. It didn’t last. In fact, it turned ugly, brutal, and ended very painfully for me. I’m not looking to do that again.”
“Ever?”
“No. I’m sorry if I led you to believe it could be more between us.”
Even though she’d hoped for more. “I’m not interested in a mate, either. As I told you last night.”
“You’re too young to decide on forever.”
“I know my own mind, Beck. But the fact I’m not interested in a mate-bond doesn’t mean I can’t be more than your friend.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking; you are inexperienced. A first time can be emotional. Things can get blown up in your head.”
“I’m not a child. I know full well what goes on between a man and woman. I am a trai
ned physic, or about to be.”
He stared down at her, concern and desire battling for prominence on his handsome face.
“I know you’re a woman, but this was your first kiss, and you’re spreading your wings on the colony for the very first time. Those are big firsts, and I don’t want you to get hurt when it ends, and I sure as hell wouldn’t want to screw up our friendship.”
“But why do we have to be one of the other? Don’t you have something called friends with benefits on your world?”
His lips parted, and he stared at her, plainly stunned. “Where did you hear about that?”
“Probably Eva, or it could have been Eryn. Maybe Mailynn—she told me a lot of stories about Earth culture.” She shrugged. “Does it matter?”
“Isn’t Mailynn Krager’s mate, the warrior who is also Max Kerr’s heir?”
“Yes, but he isn’t primmum anymore since Kellan arrived. He is first adviser and will sit on the elder council one day. That our princep has a son is something my cousin, like the rest of us, has long since hoped for and rejoices in.”
“Krager is your cousin?”
“And Trask’s. As are Kerr and Ram. Didn’t you know?”
“No, I did not. But let me see if I understand. You are proposing I become friends with benefits to the virgin cousin of the maxime princep of your world, also the cousin of your best warrior who is so skilled and formidable your people call him master. Not to mention the only sister of the general of the entire Primarian Army?”
Adria didn’t like where this was going.
“Don’t paint me as a coward, darlin’, but now I know this is a really bad idea.”
“Beck—”
He held up his hand. “Above all else, I’m worried about your heart getting broken. It happens when lust and love are misconstrued. Believe me, I learned the hard way. And while I don’t relish getting my ass handed to me by the lot of them—or worse, should they find out, I also don’t want to create an intergalactic incident if they should find out. Wars have been fought over less.”
“My family isn’t going kick your—” She waved her hands as she searched for a more delicate way of putting it than he did. But her frustration boiled over before she came up with anything, and she threw up her hands. “This is the reason I’m still unbreached at my age. It’s really not their business what I do or with whom.”
“Your brother and cousins would think otherwise.”
Filled with agitation, and the years of pent-up sexual frustration spurred by Beck’s lips and tongue, she stomped up the remaining steps before she either smacked him or started crying. At the door, she whirled, needing the answer to one last question, surprised to find Beck had followed.
She raised her chin defiantly. “So, after learning I wanted to...” She couldn’t bring herself to say it, and shook her head. “How do we return to shooting pool, playing darts, and sharing a beer once a week?”
He took her hand. “My friendship is contingent upon your desire for it to continue, Adria, nothing more.”
She blew out a relieved breath. “That’s good to know, at least.”
With a tug on her wrist, he pulled her against him and enveloped her in a tight hug. “We had a nice night. I’m sorry it had to end on a sour note.”
“I don’t blame you. This isn’t the first time a man’s been intimidated by my family.”
“Then you did date,” Beck was quick to point out.
“I had male interest over the years. It lasted until they learned who my brother was. Which was about two seconds.”
“Trask is a powerful man, and thinking of the master warrior with my balls in a vise is kind of a mood killer.”
“I’ve heard that before, though not in so many words.”
“I bet, but it’s more than that for me, as I explained.” He raised her hand to his lips. “You’re beautiful, and I can’t deny I want you, but you need to be certain what you’re getting with me is enough and what you’re risking is worth it.”
“Your balls, I get it.”
“No, Adria, your heart.” He leaned in and touched his lips softly to hers. “I don’t want to rush into anything, and I want your eyes wide open if we decide to move forward.”
This meant he hadn’t ruled it out entirely, which was progress. “I’ll think about what you said.
“That’s my girl.” After another brief kiss, this time on the forehead—darn it all—he murmured, “Good night.”
“Good night, Beck.”
Once again, he lingered until she was safely inside.
When she climbed the stairs, her steps were heavy. She wanted him, that wasn’t in doubt, but the more time she spent with him the more she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep her heart or her head, not just her body, from wanting him, too, since they already did.
The wind rustled the leaves above her and brought her back to the present. She heaved a tired sigh and rolled onto her side, facing the wind, so the tendrils of hair pulled free from her ponytail blew behind her instead of into her face. Last night, with her mind busy like just now, reliving each moment of the past four days, she couldn’t sleep, and it left her exhausted.
She should get up and go home, but she didn’t have a reason to. She and Beck hadn’t made plans before they parted. He’d told her to think, and that was all she’d done.
The thick cushion of grass beneath her felt wonderful, as did the breeze, and the warm slivers of sunlight peeking between the branches urged her to stay and enjoy the lovely day, which, in this unpredictable world, might not come again for a while.
Chapter Five
An hour past lunchtime and with breakfast a distance memory, Beck’s stomach rumbled as he exited the nearly completed courthouse. It was no wonder. There weren’t enough hours in the day to do all that needed to be done let alone eat on anything that resembled a schedule. He glanced down the street toward the clinic.
Today was Adria’s half day. She was probably long gone, with him missing the opportunity to ask her to join him for lunch. Maybe that was for the best, considering their discussion last night. He planned to give her time, but his need to see her, talk to her, and touch her, even if it was nothing more than the light brush of his fingers against her soft cheek, was growing faster than the gnawing in his empty gut.
He started down the steps, pausing when he felt the light breeze blowing. He turned his face into it, finding it refreshing rather than hot and oppressive. For once in the past two months, the thermometer wasn’t pushing ninety. The conditions were perfect for the picnic he had intended by the lake the other day.
As soon as the thought occurred to him, Beck mentally chided himself for being unable to go ten seconds without thinking of the aqua-eyed alien.
Forcing his mind to other things, he turned left at the bottom of the stone steps in the opposite direction of the clinic and toward where a third residence hall, six stories instead of four, which should have been twenty in hindsight, was under construction. He tried not think of raven hair and soft lips, and kept his eyes trained on the west end of town. A flash of white on the hillside across from the job site caught his eye. When he squinted against the sun, he could make out a slender form in black and white lying in the shade beneath a tree.
Immediately, his feet carried him that way, though the voice of reason in his head warned him not to.
She didn’t stir when he approached and stood over her, his body casting a shadow over her face, so he had time to take her in. Damn, she was stunning. With the unusual hue of her eyes hidden, it was hard to believe she wasn’t human. She wore her physics’ uniform. The V neckline created by the wrap style revealed her warm, buttery skin tone and a hint of cleavage. It also accentuated her narrow waist, but the ankle-length skirt hid one of her best assets—legs a mile long. She’d looked amazing in her borrowed jeans of last night and the night before. Playing darts and nibbling on popcorn, trying to appear oblivious to her sensual pull, he’d been consumed by thoughts of those legs wrapped
around his hips while he did all manner of carnal things to her body.
He should leave, but instead, found himself stretching out beside her.
He tried to not to disturb her, but he was either louder than he thought, or she was an extremely light sleeper because her head rolled his way and her lashes fluttered open. She looked like a kitten waking from a nap as she blinked, trying to focus.
“Beck?” she asked in a sleep-husky voice.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.” When the wind blew a few strands of black hair into her face, he reached up and tucked them behind her ear.
“That’s okay. I didn’t mean to fall asleep, but it’s such an unusually nice day—” Her words melded with a yawn. “Excuse me. I didn’t sleep well last night,” she explained when it passed.
“Neither did I. A lovely, teal-eyed angel kept haunting my dreams.”
“I thought about you, too, and a lot about what you said.”
He moved his hand from her hair to her face and traced the hollow beneath her cheekbone and across the delicate line of her jaw with his thumb.
“And what conclusions did you come to after all this thinking.”
“That I want you as a friend.” Disappointment twisted in his gut until she added, “But I also want more, Beck. And I say that with my eyes wide open.”
In her face he read the determination of a woman who’d known more adversity than one should by the age of twenty-three, but he also saw the eagerness and vulnerability of her youth. His need for Adria was unrivaled compared to any woman he’d known in the past. She deserved more from him, deserved it all, in fact, but he wasn’t sure he had it to give. And though he knew he should, selfishly, he didn’t walk away.
“Beck,” she whispered, “say something.”
“I was thinking this isn’t smart, but I’ll be damned if I don’t want you enough to risk having you as both a friend and a lover.”
Bound by Fate Page 9
