“Mmm, Natasha. You taste so…” Before I can get my words out, she shoves me off her, a little violently actually. It’s so shocking, such a change in the mood that it knocks the breath out of me.
“Tony.” There’s a desperation to her tone. Something serious is going on. This isn’t a rejection.
“Natasha, are you okay?” I grab her and pull her to me. “Do you need any…?”
Something spills down my back and considering the retching sounds coming out of her mouth it doesn’t take a genius to work out what. She’s sick. So ill that she has vomited down my back. This isn’t like Natasha at all, she isn’t a sickly person. Panic for her bolts and shoot through me.
“Oh no, that’s so gross,” she murmurs while staggering back away from me. “I didn’t mean to.”
I grab a towel and wipe it off, purely because I don’t want her to feel embarrassed. “It’s gone, don’t worry.”
“I don’t…” She grips on to her forehead, seemingly in the midst of a head ache. “I feel awful…”
She throws up again, this time all down herself. I have been so busy recently with the move and everything, I didn’t notice her getting a virus. Or it might not even be that, just the stress of everything. Immediately, I blame myself. Maybe if I hadn’t been so busy allowing her to help with everything, she wouldn’t be in this mess.
“Let’s sit you down, Natasha. You need a rest now, okay?” I try to get her over to the chair, but she keeps puking and doesn’t quite make it. This is really worrying now. I think I might need to call a doctor…
“Tony, I don’t… I don’t think…” Natasha curls over, like her body is too heavy for her to hold upright any longer. I reach out to grab her, but I’m too late. She sinks to the ground anyway.
“Natasha.” I shake her just a little bit. “Natasha, are you okay? Natasha, speak to me.”
A dizziness all but consumes me as I find myself faced with yet another drama. Every time it seems like everything is good, something else insists on crossing our path. I don’t know what it is this time, but I am more terrified than ever before. The fear that I might really lose Natasha utterly crushes me.
I don’t know if I am over reacting or not, but I need to call an ambulance and I need to do it now.
“Natasha.” I hold her as the phone rings. “I’m getting help, Natasha. Don’t you worry.” She is passed out cold, I think that’s the worst thing. It seemed to come from nowhere. One minute we were kissing, and the next the world is being ripped away from me all over again. “Natasha, you will be okay. I promise you.”
* * *
I cling to Natasha’s hand, silently praying for her to wake up as I wait for the doctor to return with the test results. I hate seeing this drip in her arm, the fluids going in to her, but I know it’s necessary.
“I love you,” I whisper against the skin of her hand. “I love you so much. You have no idea.”
The life that we have shared flickers through my mind, followed by the one I want us to have. If sickness comes in the way now, fate really driving us apart for good, it will absolutely kill me.
“I need you, Natasha. I don’t think you know how much. Me and John both. You are the glue that holds us together, I don’t know how we would survive if it wasn’t for you. You are…”
I collapse, the tears free flowing from me as the potential loss hits me hard. I’m left breathless, stunned to the core, aching from my head to my toes. If I don’t find out what is going on soon, I might lose my mind.
“We have come so far, Natasha, been through so much. We can’t fall apart here…”
The words fall away as the door opens and the doctor enters the room. I wipe the tears away rapidly, not wanting to look foolish considering I don’t really know what is happening yet. I’m just getting carried away with myself, fearing the worst. I can’t manage a smile when I meet his eyes though, that’s a bit too much.
“So, we have the results,” he tells me gravely. I grab on to Natasha tighter and suck in a breath to hold as I let the truth run through me. Now that it’s really happening, I don’t know if I’m ready for it. “It turns out that Natasha is pregnant and that’s why she has been so sick. Was she this ill with the last pregnancy?”
“Pregnant?” Relief rolls over me in intense waves, but the dizziness only gets worse. “She’s pregnant?”
“Yes. Were you not aware of this? Is it… possible for the two of you to be having a baby?”
I almost want to smack myself. How have we managed to not learn our lesson at all? It’s crazy. This is exactly what happened with John. We got caught up in the heat of the moment and didn’t think about protection, and John was created. Again, we didn’t think of protection because we were so caught up.
If I don’t know how to take the news then I have no idea how Natasha will take it. She’s the one who hasn’t long been through the trauma of labor. Will she want to do it again? Plus, we need to think about having two very young children at the same time. That’s going to be a bit of a challenge for us.
Then again, we have made it this far. We have gotten through this much, we will be fine.
“Yes, it is. I am just a little stunned, that’s all. That wasn’t what I was expecting you to say.”
But shocked in a good way which I think the doctor can see from the big grin from ear to ear. Any tears and fears from before are long gone. This is positive. This is u extending our family even more. It might be
“Well, as soon as Natasha wakes up, we will need to perform an ultra sound, just to check that everything is okay with the baby,” he tells me while checking the information on the clip board in front of him.
“You don’t think there is anything serious, right?” Uh oh, the sheer terror is back again. This is a horrible roller coaster.
“We aren’t worried. The blood tests have all come back okay, but we need to be sure. With Natasha being sick like this. Oh, you didn’t answer my previous question. Was she ill like this the first time around?”
“Not at the end, no.” I shake my head. “Uncomfortable, but not sick like this.”
“What about in the beginning, like the stage she is at now.”
I shift awkwardly in my chair. How do I explain this in any way that makes sense? Without making me seem like a massive dick? I don’t want to say that I didn’t know about the baby, that sounds terrible.
“I was working away in the beginning, in the UK, so I wasn’t around.” He’s looking at me like he doesn’t trust me. I don’t blame him, that excuse sounds shitty even to my ears. “But I know that she didn’t end up in hospital.”
If she had at any point, I’m sure that she would have shared that with me when we reconnected. She didn’t really say anything much about the early days of pregnancy and I didn’t ask which was dumb.
“Okay, well you must let us know as soon as she wakes up so we can do the test.”
“I will do. And thank you very much for everything that you have done.”
As he goes, I look down at Natasha with a happy grin. Not only is she not going to leave me, it seems like we have another miracle on the way. My luck is finally good, and I couldn’t be happier for it.
“Natasha, sweet heart, you really need to wake up now. There are things needed of you. I know that you probably don’t feel good, but I think that the news you are about to get will help you. I really think that you will love it.” I pray with everything that I have, but there aren’t any signs of life yet. “Natasha, please.”
Time ticks passed. It feels like it’s going on forever and nothing is changing, but just as I am about to crack and give up all over again, her eye lid opens. Just a crack, but it’s enough.
Chapter Thirty-One
Natasha
“What… what is going on?” I mutter as I wrench my eyes apart. “Where am I?”
I try really hard to rack my brain over what I can remember last, but there isn’t really anything. We were moving in, getting everything organized and then the
re is nothing. Just an empty blackness.
“Honey, it’s me.” Tony’s soft welcoming voice helps me to calm down. “I’m here with you.”
I smile at his gorgeous face, ignoring the strangeness around us, wanting to just focus on him. He laced his fingers through mine, sending an intense warm loving sensation tearing through my system.
“You’re in the hospital,” he continues. “You fainted. I don’t know if you remember that?”
I don’t recall fainting, but I do cringe as I recall puking down his back. Oh god, that’s so humiliating. I love this man and I threw up down him. Talk about ruining the magic! How can he even be looking at me right now?
“I’m sorry for everything that happened. I don’t know how I ended up so sick.”
“Oh no, it doesn’t matter. Not at all. As long as you’re okay, that’s all I care about.”
I glance around, trying not to freak out at the medical equipment surrounding us. “And am I?”
“Oh, you are fine. There isn’t anything that you need to worry about at all.”
“Do they know why I’m here? Did they say why I was so sick and fainted?”
“They did actually… and it might come as a bit of a shock.” My blood runs cold. I was just about to make some joke about him freaking out and bringing me to the hospital unnecessary… but now it seems like I might be the one with something to worry about. “I don’t know if you suspected, but you have a baby on the way.”
I laugh, I can’t help it. That idea is just so crazy. “No way. I just had a baby. I can’t be having another one. You’re winding me up, Tony. Now tell me what’s really going on here.”
“No, I’m not joking. They did a lot of tests and found out that you’re having a baby. They actually want to do an ultra sound now that you’re awake just to check up on everything. How does that sound?”
I narrow my eyes at him. “And you’re seriously not winding me up here? This is true?”
“It’s totally true. This isn’t something that I would make a joke about.”
I can tell by his face now that he’s being honest, which makes my heart stop racing. Somehow, this is even more shocking than finding out that I was pregnant with John. Tony is here this time around, this isn’t something that I will be doing by myself, but it’s shocking. I don’t know if I have fully recovered from the last time around.
“Then we should call the doctor in now. If we need an ultra sound, then we should do it now.”
Tony nods and presses the button to call someone in to the room, and while he talks to the medical staff, I drift off in to my own little dream world to think about everything. Another baby… I mean, another child. That is absolutely crazy. I know that we both want more kids… one day, but now isn’t really the time. Tony is in the middle of starting up his own business, we have just moved house… but it seems like it’s happening anyway.
I can’t stop a little smile from spreading across my lips. Much as this is scary and definitely not in the plan, it’s a little exciting too. We’re having a baby… our family is growing even bigger. That’s pretty damn exciting, isn’t it? Much as there is a lot to panic about, lots of worries I could have, I kinda love the idea of another bundle of joy in my arms and John having a brother or sister to play with. It’s too close, sure, but it’s also nice for them to have such a near age gap. They will be worst enemies and best friends.
“Come on then.” Tony rests his hands on my shoulders. “It’s time to go.”
Tony helps me out the bed and we walk together in to the ultra sound room. He has his arm wrapped around me the entire time, protecting me, being there for me, loving me. This pregnancy will be a lot different from the last one because I won’t be alone for any of it. Tony is really going to be here.
I lay down on the table, clutching on to Tony’s hand as the jelly is poured across me and the image comes up on the screen. The baby is obviously smaller this time around because this is much earlier on in the pregnancy, but that isn’t the only thing that is strange. This image is completely changed.
“What’s going on?” I ask thickly, fear shooting all the way through me as I do. They wanted me to have this ultra sound for a reason, because they were worried clearly, and now I am too. “This isn’t right.”
“Don’t sit up,” the specialist indicates. “Hold on a moment. Nothing looks wrong to me.”
I dart a terrified look at Tony, but he can’t see anything because I suppose he didn’t see the first time around. I just know that it’s different though. I know this isn’t the same as the last baby. I want to know why.
“Please tell me what is going on. I’m really freaked out, that’s why.”
“Okay, well it looks like there are two babies in here, so I think you’re having twins.”
“Twins?” Fucking hell. I just got my head around the idea of one more baby, but two? How the hell are we going to deal with three young children at once? That idea is absolutely manic. I can already see chaos spilling everywhere around me. Will we be able to cope? Will we survive all of this?
“Twins?” Oh god, I turn to see the giant smile on Tony’s face. “That’s amazing.”
“Aren’t you scared?” I squeeze him even tighter. “That’s terrifying, twins!”
“Look, this is great news. We will be amazing with twins, don’t you think? Although, I do think that we need to be a bit more careful with protection because we are obviously very fertile.”
“I am never going near you again,” I lie. “You are a nightmare.”
He tosses his head back and laughs, not taking offense to the comment at all, which is good. The way that he’s acting does make me feel a little better about this. He isn’t scared, he’s looking forward to having more babies, which is a good thing. I know that over time, I will become more used to the idea as well.
As I watch the tiny little heart beats racing on the screen, I fee the same swell of love that I got with John. I can feel myself tumbling head first in to that gorgeous boundless love once more. But the love I have isn’t splitting, it’s growing and making more room for the rest of my children.
“So, what do we do now?” Tony asks the doctor. “Do we need to go back into the other room?”
“For now, yes. That would be best. I need to examine the images and consult others about the other tests that have been run on you.” He smiles reassuringly. “But right now, it seems like everything is great from this side.”
“Right, I see…” Tony continues. “Will we need to be here for much longer?”
“I will get the full results to you as soon as we can. Then, you might be able to go home.”
I will be going home a different woman to the one who came in to the hospital. One with heavy news to come to terms with… but at least it’s good news. Life has taught me that it can always be a lot worse.
* * *
Stepping back into the house, I want to laugh at the mess. The vomit has been cleared up, thankfully, but we still have so much unpacking to do. It’s going to take us a life time. Never mind the new nursery that we’re going to have to create for the twins (twins, I’m still not used to that). It’s going to be manic. The more that I think about it, the wilder it is in my brain. I’m still not sure how we can hack it.
“There is no rest for us, is there?” I chuckle. “There isn’t ever a calm moment.”
“No, I know.” Tony wraps his arms around my back, gently rubbing my belly delicately. He loves these twins so much, I can just tell. “But I guess that’s just the way that our life is going to be forever now, isn’t it?”
With three young children, he isn’t wrong. He just better never leave me again. Ever. I will not cope alone!
“Hey, girl.” Tara makes me jump by bursting around the corner. “Me and Ann have been unpacking the bedroom a little. We didn’t know where you wanted everything, but we’ve tried to help.”
“And where is John? One of you two have John, right?”
“He’s in his roo
m. Don’t worry. He’s fast asleep, tired out from all the moving and cleaning.”
Guilt and humiliation makes my blood go cold. I hate that my friends and family had to clean up after me. How damn embarrassing. The funny thing is I didn’t even feel it coming on. It just kind of happened from nowhere. Totally different to being pregnant with John, but I suppose that’s because there are two of them!
“So, what happened?” Tara asks with concern in her face. “What did they say?”
“Tony didn’t tell you?” I have to admit, I’m shocked by that. “I thought he would have by now.”
“Why is it bad? Do I need to be worried about you?”
I shake my head and grin. “I’m having another baby…” Her face drops in shock, but of course, I still have another bomb shell. “Actually, two babies. I am having twins; can you believe it?”
She gasps loudly, clearly in shock, and throws her arms around me. I think that I might even be able to hear her crying against my chest. Poor Tara, my roller coaster of a life has always affected her as well.
“It’s crazy, isn’t it?” I chuckle, getting a bit emotional as well. “Who knew?”
Ann joins us then and Tony fills her in. She is understandably thrilled and immediately starts celebrating so loud that she wakes John up. With a quiet apology, she races from the room to grab him, which is when I see the strange look on Tara’s face. This isn’t just a worry, this is something much deeper.
“Tara, what’s going on?” I rest a hand on her shoulder. “Why do you look so freaked out?”
“No, it’s nothing.” She shakes her head hard. “Nothing to worry about. I’m happy for you.”
“You don’t look happy. If there’s something that you want to talk about then we can?”
She shakes her head hard and steps back from me, heading towards the door. I want to reach out to her to stop her from leaving but she really looks like she needs some air and space. Can she really be that panicked about me having twins? Even I’m not that freaked out anymore.
Lucky in Love Page 18
