‘The times we kissed we had mutual understanding, Linnet. You understood what was happening. When your aunt ordered us to marry, I recall you saying you didn’t want to marry me any more than I wanted to marry you. Have you changed your mind?’
‘Why—I—no, of course not.’
‘And you’re sure about that, are you?’
‘Of course I am. I’ve never harboured any aspirations like that.’
He arched a questioning brow. ‘No?’
‘No.’
He shrugged. ‘I’m offended.’
‘Offended? Is that all you feel? Christian—Lord Blakely—you are a peer of the realm. I am so far down the scale of things. I am your daughter’s governess. Peers of the realm do not marry governesses.’
‘And you harbour no ambition to snare a wealthy husband?’
‘Material wealth does not interest me. But if I did marry, I would marry the meanest pauper if I loved him and he returned that love.’
‘I suppose you think when you marry it should be a love match.’
‘It is important in a marriage. If two people have to spend the whole of their lives together, then they would be considerably more miserable without it. Don’t you agree?’
‘I have to confess that I haven’t thought about it to any degree. Was your parents’ marriage a love match?’
‘Yes, very much so. They had a depth of devotion and companionship few can boast.’
‘Which, I imagine, is what you want for yourself.’
‘Yes. When I marry I want the kind of love my parents had. There is nothing wrong with that.’
‘Don’t you think that looking through the eyes of a child you might have idealised their relationship?’ Christian remarked, watching her closely.
‘No. I know that they had and I won’t settle for less. Of course, I do realise that there are some people who are of the opinion that love and marriage need not have anything to do with each other. My own opinion is that there is no other reason to marry.’
‘That is a cynical opinion, Linnet.’ He watched her with a good deal of interest. ‘But I consider children an excellent reason for two people to marry.’
Linnet’s lips twitched into a smile and a mischievous light danced in her eyes. ‘I did not realise it was necessary for people to marry for children to arrive.’
Christian laughed low and playfully tapped Linnet’s cheek. ‘What a deliciously wicked thing for you to say, Linnet. Were you to utter such a comment in society, it would make people think you are too forward by far and quite outrageous.’
‘I suppose they would and I would condemn them for being shocked only because I dared to say such a thing, not for the content. It is my opinion that children need the stability of a loving family environment, but I am not so naïve or ignorant as to know that sadly this is not always the case.’
Christian’s expression became almost melancholy as he studied the young woman. ‘What a wise head you carry on your shoulders, Linnet Osborne, but, you know, love can also bring its own measure of pain.’
‘If it is one-sided, then I’m sure it can. But what of you? I’m sure half the female population in London has been in love with you at one time or another.’
He smiled wryly. ‘I’ve had my moments.’
‘I don’t doubt. But what do they love about you, Christian? Your wealth? Your title? Don’t any of them love you for yourself?’
He smiled a bitter smile. ‘I don’t need love. If my father taught me anything at all, it is that love is more destructive than hate.’
Linnet looked at him hard. ‘That’s not true. Love is what is essential to make a marriage work. Money has no place when it comes to happiness.’
‘That is just sentimental nonsense spoken only by romantic young girls,’ Christian remarked with biting scorn.
‘I am not a girl, Christian. I am twenty-two years old.’
‘And still naïve.’
‘By your standards perhaps I am. Where does all this bitterness come from? Your notion of love is nothing more substantial than mere indulgence. Why are you so disenchanted with life? What has happened to you to make you so cynical? And please don’t tell me that men in your position only marry to beget an heir because I do not believe it. I can only think what a miserable state of affairs that must be. Don’t any of the ladies of your acquaintance fall in love with you? One must have for you to have married her—but it must have been a difficult time for you, to suddenly find yourself a widower.’
Christian fixed her with a steady gaze.
‘You must have had someone you were close to,’ she went on. ‘Your mother, perhaps.’
Before her disappointed gaze, his expression became aloof and she deeply regretted asking him the question.
‘Oh, yes, I was close to my mother. She was beauty and grace personified and I adored her. Unfortunately, my father didn’t give a damn. He broke her heart. She died three years ago.’
‘I’m truly sorry, Christian.’
‘I know you are. Come, let us walk back to the house.’
They walked back in silence. Linnet went inside and turned to Christian.
He seemed about to walk away, but then hesitated. ‘There is something I should tell you, Linnet. I was not married to Alice’s mother. Her name was Selina.’
‘Oh—I see. I didn’t know.’
‘How could you? I have never spoken of it.’
It had crossed her mind that Alice might have been born out of wedlock, but she had heard nothing to clarify this. ‘Please do not think you have to explain anything to me. But remember that Alice did not ask to be born,’ she said quietly. ‘She is a lovely, charming little girl and deserves to be loved.’
Christian gave her a tortured look. There was a deep sadness about him. He left her without another word.
* * *
The following morning Linnet had cause for some serious thought. The kiss they had shared had changed everything. She had changed. How could she have been so foolish, so incredibly naïve? Oh, yes, she had feelings for Christian Blakely. She felt sure she always would, but she knew that as far as he was concerned she was just another woman who had fallen into his arms—so very gullible—and she would pay dearly for it if she let it.
She was employed by Lord Blakely to be Alice’s governess, yet she felt he had other ideas and that he was setting her up to be his mistress. That could not happen. She must not let it happen. She was beginning to realise that taking on this post had been a mistake. Much as she would hate leaving Alice after such a short time, she must, but she would wait until they returned to London before she told Lord Blakely.
* * *
Over the days that followed their arrival at Park House, Christian saw little of Linnet. He was busy riding about the estate, often with his bailiff, consulting with his tenant farmers, seeing what needed to be done. It would have surprised Linnet to know how often his thoughts turned to her.
He found as he went about his business that he anticipated seeing her when he returned to the house. Then it crossed his mind that he was looking for her, looking forward to seeing her. Whenever she was in a room with him he had difficulty keeping his eyes off her, and, when they were alone, he found it almost impossible to keep his hands off her. She had teased and intrigued his male sensibilities from the start, stirred his senses, her sharp mind stimulating his own. She was possessed of a strong determination, was waywardly confident and showed a capacity to think for herself. He admired her spirit, her sweetness and her honesty. The longer they were at Park House the more he began to marshal his thoughts with the precision taught him by years of doing business.
Eventually clarity made a breakthrough and a smiled quivered, lurking at the edges of his mouth, quivered as though longing to burst into laughter.
He had a choice to make. It was time. Either he could go on fightin
g what he felt for Linnet, or face head on the ever-strengthening bond that was between them. Every time he thought of her, of kissing her, he felt a sharp needle of exasperation drive through him, directed at her, as though, like a witch, she had cast a spell on him, which was totally absurd. It wasn’t her fault that he was unable to put her from his mind. No woman had clouded his judgement and stolen his peace so completely. Never in his life had he felt a bond so great and a feeling so all consuming. Suddenly he found himself wondering what it would be like, having a wife to light up his life with warmth and laughter—a woman to banish the dark emptiness within him.
Linnet’s belief that it was possible for love to exist in a marriage, that people did marry without regard to wealth or power, appealed to him. But could he risk his heart—could he risk bearing his soul? He caught himself up short, dispelling such youthful dreams and unfulfilled yearnings. He had witnessed all that with his father when he had been with Selina and others before her. His father had been so smitten with Selina that he’d failed to see the avarice and ambition behind her smiles. Christian had had many affairs, but not one woman he’d considered marriage to. As a consequence, he had not come near to forming an association with any woman that had anything approaching permanency—until Linnet.
His mood veered from grim to thoughtful to philosophical, and finally gladness when he decided it was time for him to act out his desire.
* * *
Park House employed a large staff, including footmen and grooms. The housekeeper and the butler ran things so smoothly that one wasn’t aware of their presence except when they were serving.
Alice raised her head from playing with her toys when a maid entered the nursery and placed a wicker hamper on the table. The inquisitive child went to look.
‘Is it for me?’ she asked, her eyes wide with excitement.
‘In a way it is,’ Linnet told her. ‘It’s a hamper—a picnic hamper.’
‘What’s a picnic?’
‘Well, Alice, I thought we might take a little walk around the lake, in which case we might get really hungry. So I asked cook to prepare us a hamper of food so we might stop and eat it somewhere. What do you say? Would you like that?’
Alice clapped her hands excitedly. ‘Ooh, yes please. Can I take Pol with me? She would like a picnic, too.’
Linnet laughed. Pol was Alice’s stuffed doll. She had hair the colour of straw, a squashed nose and a floppy ear. But Pol was Alice’s pretend friend. She adored her and took her everywhere. ‘Of course you can bring Pol. The more the merrier.’
‘And Mrs Marsden? Can she come as well?’
Mrs Marsden gave her a hug. ‘I don’t think so, Alice. I’m not really one for eating outside. But you go. It will be like one big adventure and then you can tell me all about it when you get back.’
When Alice was ready and Linnet had fastened on her bonnet, they took hold of the hamper and went downstairs. Suddenly the door opened and Lord Blakely walked in. His eyes went from Linnet to Alice holding her hand and back to Linnet.
‘What have we here? Are you going somewhere?’
‘A picnic,’ Alice said, moving closer to Linnet, but unable to take her eyes off the man she called Chris. ‘We’re going to eat some cake on the lake.’
‘Well, not on the lake, Alice,’ Linnet explained, smiling at her young charge. ‘We’re going to sit on the grass at the side of the lake and eat our picnic.’
‘I think a picnic is a splendid idea,’ Christian remarked. ‘It’s a beautiful day and it will be lovely by the lake.’
‘Would you like to come with us?’ Linnet ventured to ask, her look direct and challenging.
Christian frowned, seeming to consider this.
‘Please come with us,’ Alice uttered shyly, much in awe of the dark, forbidding man. ‘You can share our picnic if you like.’
Much to Linnet’s delight and more than a little relief—any opportunity to get him involved with his daughter had to be a good thing—he nodded.
‘Very well. I would love to share your picnic.’
‘Then if you are coming with us, you can make yourself useful,’ Linnet said, handing him the hamper.
* * *
The afternoon was glorious, the surface of the lake shimmering beneath the sun. Fascinated by the swans and ducks that glided along, Alice insisted on running on ahead. After walking around the lake to the other side, they chose a spot to have their picnic in the shade of a huge willow tree. Christian stretched out on the grass, watching in fascination as Linnet supervised an excited Alice. They placed the food on a cloth spread out on the grass. Linnet sat back on her heels and looked around as Alice ran to pick some daisies that sprinkled the grass.
‘What a lovely place this is,’ Linnet remarked, twisting her body and sitting with her legs stretched out in front of her. Discarding her bonnet, she turned her face up to the sun and closed her eyes.
Christian watched the sunlight playing on her hair, caressing her upturned face. Aware that he was watching her, she opened her eyes and looked at him.
‘What are you thinking?’ she enquired softly.
He grinned at her and a devilish light gleamed in his eyes. ‘I wouldn’t corrupt your sensitive young mind with the content of my thoughts, Linnet. But I was also thinking that this is much nicer than attacking all that paperwork waiting to be done in my study. But have a care. With the sun beating down on me and finding myself close to a lovely woman, my imagination is in danger of turning to rustic pleasures.’
Linnet looked at him in mock amazement. ‘Why, Lord Blakely, what on earth can you mean?’
Chuckling softly, he shifted his position. ‘Don’t pretend to play the innocent,’ he said, pulling off his jacket and tossing it aside, loosening his neckcloth and stretching out his long booted legs. ‘Perhaps we should call them country pleasures instead.’
‘Careful,’ Linnet said, laughing lightly, indicating Alice, who had ceased picking daisies and was watching them with interest. ‘Little ears and all that. I do not think this is the place to indulge in such things.’
‘What do you think I am, Linnet? Have you no idea how I am tormented, being close to you and forbidden to touch you?’
* * *
Slanting him a speculative look, Linnet wondered if that was really true, or if he was being deliberately provoking. She stared into his fathomless brown eyes while his fingertip traced a line up her arm. His voice caressed her, pulling her under his spell. Averting her eyes, she sighed and gave him a reproachful look. ‘Perhaps you should have retired to your study after all.’
‘What—and miss taking tea with my two favourite ladies?’
Linnet stopped smiling and looked at him. ‘I wish I could believe that.’
Reaching out his fingers, he gently brushed a tendril of hair back from her cheek. ‘Believe it, Linnet. It is true.’
‘Then it will be nice for you to spend some time with Alice.’
* * *
Christian glanced at Alice, who was sitting on the grass, still watching them, as if too shy to approach them. He looked at her hard, as if seeing her for the first time. Linnet was right. She was a lovely child, her dark hair and eyes resembling his own. There was a look in her eyes that pained him. Alice was his half-sister. In a way they had both been abandoned by the same father. That was something they had in common. His father’s neglect while he had been growing up had hurt him profoundly. He would not wish that on Alice. She was as much a victim as he was. When he’d brought her from Cairo, he’d found it difficult coming to terms with having her around. She was a constant reminder of that terrible time in his life. But he could not blame her for that.
Oddly touched by something he saw in her eyes, suddenly, impulsively for him, holding out his hand, he said, ‘Come here, Alice. Come and sit with us.’ Gathering up her bunch of daisies, she came hesitantly towards them, sitting betwe
en them. Tucking the child in close to him, he raised his eyes to Linnet.
She smiled, looking from one to the other. ‘There is a striking resemblance between the two of you.’
‘Alice and I have much in common. And now,’ he said, getting to his feet and lifting the child into his arms, ‘while you finish preparing the picnic, I’m going to take Alice to the lake and show her how I used to make boats out of leaves and twigs when I was a boy. Would you like that, Alice?’
‘Yes, please,’ she whispered, her eyes shining with adoration.
Chapter Eight
Entranced, Linnet watched him put Alice down by the edge of the lake, collect broad leaves from the bulrushes and sticks, and painstakingly make a boat out of the bulrushes, sticks and leaves with a stick as its mast and a leaf for its sail. She continued to watch as they pushed the little boat on the water, Alice releasing peals of happy laughter and clapping her hands with delight. Linnet was utterly captivated by the scene. Their heads were so close together that it was impossible to distinguish where Alice’s gleaming dark curls stopped and Christian’s began.
Linnet continued to watch them, her throat tight with emotion. She could see that Alice’s need of him as the father she had never had; the man in her life to protect her against bad things. It was a role she prayed Christian would learn to relish. Mrs Marsden had told her that, up until now, he’d played no part in Alice’s life, and there were times when Linnet thought he didn’t even know the child existed, but now, struck by the various emotions playing over his features, the tenderness in his eyes could not be concealed.
When they wandered back to partake of the delicious food, Alice sat close to Christian, watching two swans glide majestically by. Linnet’s heart warmed as she listened to Christian inventing stories about pirate ships and buried treasure. Wide-eyed, Alice listened, enraptured, clutching the little boat in one hand and Pol in the other.
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