“Well look who it is!” Jett chuckled, amused with himself. “Little Miss Perkins. Missing your maniac boyfriend already?”
Sam crossed her arms. “You never shut up, do you?”
“Talk about what?” Chloe asked. It felt like ages since the last time she spoke to Sam. The real Sam. The Sam who wasn’t living inside the reclusive world of music. The Sam who spoke first. The Sam who always had something to complain about.
“Just come with me.” She motioned for Chloe to follow, and the tension brewing between them dissolved. Chloe didn’t bother giving Jett a goodbye. Not even a glance. She swept her food into her backpack and ran after Sam, who was already halfway to the door.
Samantha Perkins was back.
Leaning against the hallway lockers, they shared a common stillness. It was the first time they’d done so. Sam didn’t complain about Audrey. She didn’t hum to keep her thoughts from running. In exchange, Chloe didn’t move. She didn’t play with her hair. Didn’t fill the air with valueless jokes Sam wasn’t in the mood for.
Sam broke the silence. “I talked to Benji yesterday.”
“What?” Chloe squinted at the hallway floors.
“I need you to meet us at Blueberry tonight. 6:30.”
Chloe held her breath. After she finally accepted the fact that everyone would move on, an opportunity like this gets handed to her? Right as she gives up, everyone else takes action?
“He has something to tell us.” Sam cleared her throat. “I have a feeling it’s important.”
Chloe felt an urge to hop between her feet and relieve the pressure from standing so long, but she resisted, trying to recall the last time all four of them were together at Blueberry. It was before Nina died—that was all she knew. No matter how intently she focused, the memory never came back. Although she was thrilled to experience that lost memory once again, the thought of facing Benji after what she’d done was too heavy to swallow. She shook her head slowly, still watching her boots. “I can’t.”
“Chloe—”
“Sorry, but I can’t understand him. I think James was right—it’s time we all move on from this madness and make some new friends.” She unglued her feet from the floor, heading back to the cafeteria, but Sam stopped her by the fabric of her backpack.
“Seriously?” Sam laughed in half-humor, half mockery. “That’s it? Come on, Chloe. At least give Benji a chance.”
Chloe waited for Sam to release her backpack before turning around. “This doesn’t have anything to do with him.” Under the dim hallway lights, a dash of emerald melted through her eyes. “Nevermind, I—I’ll be there.”
Sam nodded as Chloe walked away. “Thank you.”
Chloe opened the door to the cafeteria and paused. “Good luck with James.”
CHAPTER 28
trapped
The afternoon of May 23rd. Benji’s second day of suspension, and he had spent the entirety of it rehearsing the story of Nina. His future relied on explaining it perfectly, in a way where his friends wouldn’t blast him with anger or trip his feet with questions. So he sat at his bedroom desk, the lights glowing dimly, his pen sweeping across the page. No matter how many times he crumpled them to restart, his smile never left.
He shut his eyes and imagined himself standing with his friends at the shore. He slipped away from them, unnoticed, watching with pride as he backed away into the fog. After a sweet walk to Candy Road and a shy wave at the town’s weak lights, he was gone.
“Goodbye, Wishville.” He leaned back in his chair, blinding himself with the ceiling light. The words tasted beautiful on his tongue. After tonight, he’d leave peacefully. He’d leave, and this time he’d be ready to disappear.
As he continued writing his explanation, he maintained the vision in his mind—the beautiful image of fading away after solving the puzzle he’d made. His pen froze when he glanced at the clock, a subtle reminder that today, time controlled him. It was 4:30. He’d have to leave soon, and his window would be the way out.
A car engine extinguished in the driveway. His pen wrote faster.
I need to leave the house at 6:00. He nodded. I’ll make sure Mom sees me a few minutes before I leave, that way she won’t check on me for a while. The plan was simple. By the next time Rebecca searched his room, it’d be too late. He’d be exiting town.
A delicate tap traveled from the door. Leaving his pen and papers behind, Benji grabbed a book from the edge of his desk and hopped onto his bed. According to Mr. Trenton, he’d have to finish it by Monday, but this was the first time he’d touched it. He scrambled to a random page as the door swung open.
“I sent Lauren home.” Rebecca peeked through the crack before sliding in. “What are you up to?” Her neck shifted in the direction of the pages on his desk, and Benji was hasty to bring her attention to something else.
“Thought I’d catch up on the reading.” He lifted the book in his hands a little too energetically.
“You sure you’re feeling okay?” As she made her way toward him, his instincts tugged at his spine, begging him to move as though Rebecca were pure poison. He forced himself to stay planted. Any strange behavior could soil his plans.
At first Benji thought Rebecca leaned to hug him, but her arms lay limp by her sides as she spouted a rehearsed statement. “Last time you met with Dr. Atkins you seemed to be in a much better mood.” A piece of hair fell in front of her eyes, and she tucked it behind her ear with a gulp. “I booked another appointment with her for later today.”
The book hopped between his fingertips before splatting onto the floor. “What do you mean, today?” Although Rebecca wasn’t touching him, Benji may as well have been prying her fingers off his arm. “No.” Benji rubbed his sore forehead. “No, that won’t work. You can reschedule it, can’t you?”
Rebecca fixed her posture, leaning away from him.
Calm, Benji. Think.
He reached over the edge of his bed to retrieve the book and reopened it. “You were right—I’m really not feeling well. Was planning to stay home and catch up on homework.” There was not one tense muscle in his arms, but his mind was screaming. “Do you think she’d mind if we rescheduled?”
Rebecca stepped back, the distance between them swelling. “The meeting’s at 7:00. You can relax until then.”
“Seven?” The slipped urgency in his own voice made him cringe. “How about tomorrow?”
“You’re going today.” She walked backward to the doorway, and as she swerved into the hallway, her arms stiffened. “Brought some sandwiches from the deli,” she called through the hall. “Come eat.”
Benji’s last day alive. His last chance to leave. Although he wished the clocks would slow, the reality was that he had no time to waste. The hands clicked closer to 11:59. Closer to when he was scheduled to die.
“Mom?”
Rebecca sank her teeth into her sandwich as Benji appeared in the dining room. She faced him with wide eyes and turkey protruding between her cracked lips.
“I’m gonna take a walk. I’ll be back in time for the appointment.” No matter how softly he set his feet on the floor, they shook the house with every step. The weight of his lie concentrated within his bones. He would not come back today.
He would never come back.
A hand squeezed his shoulder. “You’re not going anywhere.” Rebecca spun him around and swallowed her bite of meat. “Eat some food. You’ll feel better.”
Benji yanked his shoulder away from her. “I’m going.” His voice was sterner than hers. At first Rebecca’s teeth parted in disgust, but as soon as Benji had opened the door, they shut stronger than before. She reached past his head, slammed the door shut in his face, and waved her way in front of him. “Sit down.” With a haunting snap, she locked the door behind her.
“Mom?” He searched her eyes, trying to find her.
“Sit.�
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“You don’t understand.” His eyes stung. “Today’s not a good day for me.”
She leaned her head back against the door, her lips shaking. “I know about your calendar.” Her eyelids fell. “I know all of it.”
Benji frowned. “Calendar?”
“Why was today circled in red?” Her voice vibrated through the floor.
Benji tried to remain calm, but his hot and sweaty palms distracted him.
“Tell me what happened.” She brought a hand to her forehead in hopes of suppressing her explosive thoughts. “Is someone bullying you? Making fun of your height?”
“No one’s bullying me!” When he shouted, it sounded as if he were about to cry. He didn’t mean for it to be that way. But it happened, and he was embarrassed of it, so he faced the ground with a sigh.
“Is this about your father? Please talk to me.”
Benji refused to raise his chin. Eventually, her hand dropped from her head, and the waves in her forehead loosened. “What is it you can tell Dr. Atkins and not me?”
She cracked.
“You can talk to me.” She gasped for breath, nearly drowning between words. “You can always talk to me. I’m your mom.” Tears rolling over her cheek, she reached over and adjusted his face until he was looking at her. Benji’s eyes, however, wandered away with their own will. “Tell me what happened.”
Benji was slipping. His plan to bring everyone together—it grew increasingly ridiculous by the moment. So ridiculous that he doubted his own thoughts. Am I really crazy? What if Dr. Atkins is right about Nina? The next question hit him like a bullet to the chest.
Am I even going to die?
The room filled with ice. His sneakers on the dining room tile sent chills through his ankles. Each breath blurred his eyesight until he was blind. The room nothing more but a black hole. That’s when the thoughts came. Thoughts he never thought he’d have. What if no one believes me? He threw his face into cupped hands. What if they don’t even come to Blueberry? What if I’ve messed up my life for no reason at all?
He leaned into her, tightening his hands around her back. For a moment they stood together in the same place. Alone, lost in the dark. Their shared presence was enough to warm the room and fill it with light. But as Benji’s vision trickled back to him, the gray room filled his eyes, and the light no longer appealed to him. He wanted to go back, but the air returned to it’s normal chill, and Rebecca pulled herself away with arms stiffer than before.
“If you won’t talk to me, you won’t leave this room.” She checked her watch. “You’re going to sit down, eat your sandwich, and wait with me until your appointment. We’ll go together, and maybe after we can grab some ice cream.”
Silence.
She wiped away the remnants of her tears. “How does that sound?”
There was nothing to do except wait for an escape opportunity like a prisoner. He sat at the table, Rebecca watching him as he choked down what he knew would be his last meal. When he finished the sandwich, he didn’t move. His mother’s eyes on him and his own eyes on the dining room clock, Benji remembered the fun times he had with everyone—their countless meetings at Blueberry, playing tag and hide-and-seek, sneaking out while Lauren pretended to babysit him—and used these memories to stay strong. Today was a fist-fight with the odds against his favor. If he struck too early or too late he’d get beaten to death, but if he waited for the right moment, he might make it out alive.
The perfect timing to escape would be as they headed to the car, but he’d have to wait until they left for the appointment to do so. Rebecca wouldn’t leave any earlier than 6:30, the time he planned to meet everyone at Blueberry. Today, he’d have to trust that his friends would wait for him, but even if they did, he knew they wouldn’t wait long. He had to get to Blueberry, and fast.
Benji assumed staring at the clock would slow time and allow him to further develop his plan, but the opposite was true. In a matter of seconds it was 6:35, and a knock came from the front door. Rebecca rubbed her damp cheek against her sleeve and stood.
When the door swung open, Benji lost his only opening for attack.
“I thought I’d drive you to your appointment.” Mayor Perkins turned to Rebecca with a grin. “Shall we take your car or mine?”
CHAPTER 29
pedal
It was the longest car ride of his lifetime. Every detail through the window soaked into his brain. No filtering. Simply hopping right through his ears. He remembered the most minute details, like how many trees were on each block, and the color of every house that bordered the sidewalks, colors he hadn’t noticed before.
As they drove down Main Street, he spotted Ms. Camille’s flower shop, Seaside Cafe, and Chowdies, the place that crafted the chowder that flocked his childhood memories. With permission from Rebecca, Benji rolled the windows and welcomed a wild gust of salty air. He leaned back in his seat and allowed his sleep deprivation to capture him, shifting into a deep sleep. He lost track of time. For the first time this week, everything moved at a steady pace.
He rose to Mayor Perkins’ warm hands nudging his arm. “What time is it?” Benji jolted his head from the back of his seat, searching the sky for clues of how long he’d sleep.
“Don’t worry.” The mayor smiled. “We’re not late.”
In the passenger seat, Rebecca grabbed her purse and left her car, waiting for Benji and Mayor Perkins to follow her. Benji saw his next opening as Mayor Perkins held the door open for him. Wishville had all kinds of hiding places in the forest—he remembered from his games of hide-and-seek in elementary school. He could leave right now and hide until he had a chance to get to Candy Road unnoticed. This was it.
As soon as Benji’s head caught the first glimpse of day, Mayor Perkins wrapped a tight arm around his shoulder and led him in the direction of the building.
That’s when it dawned on him—they both knew he had something planned. They had it all wrong, but there was no way for Benji to explain the truth, not when there was no time left. He needed to get to Blueberry before he lost his chance.
There was only one hurdle left in his life. One last thing to overcome. One last challenge. And with time approaching 7:00, he had five hours to pursue it.
The first step was to get out of this appointment.
He knew how long these sessions could take. His last meeting with Dr. Atkins lasted about half an hour. At that rate, everyone would have left Blueberry and gone home with him completely forgotten. If he wanted to get there faster, he’d need a plan to cut it short.
When Mayor Perkins guided him through the office door, Benji knew escaping would be no easy task. The only exit was through the door he had entered from, which led to the waiting room, where Mayor Perkins and Rebecca acted as guards. That meant he had one option left.
The window.
“Please, have a seat.” Dr. Atkins gestured to the sofa and sat herself comfortably across from him. “It’s been a while. How are you feeling today?”
If I run from here to Blueberry, I could get there in less than ten minutes. Benji’s heart beat faster. But I’d have to leave right now.
“Is there something on your mind?” Dr. Atkins asked.
“Oh no, nothing really.” Benji laughed, his brows slightly furrowed. “I’m stressing a little about this presentation tomorrow.”
“I was told you’ve been suspended.”
“Did I say tomorrow?” He pinned his focus on the window. “I meant in two weeks. When I get back.”
“I see. What subject?”
“Math.”
She tilted her head. “I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of a presentation in math class before.”
“My school, you know . . .” Benji grinned at the shimmering glass. “Very creative teachers.”
He caught her smiling through the corner of his eye. I’m running out o
f time. Benji gulped. I need to think of something fast. Now.
Dr. Atkins cleared her throat. “I’d like to—”
“Actually, I have a question for you, Dr. Atkins.” Benji pulled his focus from the window, staring her straight in the eyes. “Do you ever notice the colors?”
“Colors?”
“When I walk into a room, the first thing I do is look at the colors of the wall. My wall at home is a light gray, the school hallway is beige—you can tell if you look at the strip of open space above the lockers—and the inside of Chowdies is white. But not pure white. More of an eggshell color.”
“The colors interest you?”
“But I can’t remember the color of the waiting room.” He grabbed his head. “I can’t remember. I wasn’t paying attention.”
“It’s white, I believe.”
“But what kind?” He gripped his head harder, fingers tense. “Cream? Blue tone?”
She hummed to herself. “Actually, I’m not too—”
“Can you check for me, please?” Benji’s hands fell from his head, lying dead on his lap. He shook his head at the floor, eyes shut. “I have to know. If I don’t know, then I’m not sure—”
“How about after we talk, we can go check the wall together. Does that sound nice?”
He searched the room for a clock. Nothing. I have no other choice. He noticed a floor lamp standing boldly beside the sofa, and the tips of his lips curved into a slight grin.
“No!” He folded his fingers together in his lap and tucked his chin into his chest. “I need to know the color. I need to know.” He stood, breathing heavily, and took a step toward her. “I need to know.”
Although Dr. Atkins held still, calm and controlled, Benji was positive he saw her lips flinch. “Would you like to check now and come back?” Her voice was soft, but it held a twinge of urgency.
Leaving Wishville Page 16
