“Thanks,” I say pointedly.
“I am dying to know if the rumors about him are true!” Lennon finishes her drink and sets the cup down on the ground. “He is one fine-looking man, and that accent—oh my god.”
“Charles is one of my best friends,” Chloe goes on, gripping her glass of wine a little tighter. I can tell she’s uncomfortable with this. “I, uh, I…”
“Nicole Kidman,” I tell everyone. “She’d be mine. I’ve had a thing for her since Days of Thunder.”
“Dude, she’s old.” Mason stares at me dubiously.
“Yeah, but have you seen her?” Chloe points out. “I hope I look half that good when I’m in my fifties. And speaking of mature women, Shakira would be my hall pass, and I know, we’re both straight, but damn, she is hot.” Chloe laughs, but the laugh turns into a cough. She shivers, pulling her arms in close to her body.
“Are you cold?” I ask. I’m sweating sitting here by the fire with a blanket wrapped around the two of us, but if Chloe wanted another blanket, I’d go get it for her.
“A little,” she says, and I pull the blanket up tighter around her shoulders. “I’m okay, though.”
“We can go in if you’re cold.”
“And miss the fun?” she counters, smile on her pretty face. “It’s my turn to ask a question, anyway.” She puts her wine glass on the ground and rests her head against my shoulder as she stares into the fire, thinking. “Okay…um…location where you lost your virginity and how old were you.”
“Bed of my truck,” Jacob answers right away. “I was seventeen.”
“Late bloomer,” Mason heckles. “My room, when I was sixteen.”
“Oh, a whole year younger,” Jacob huffs.
“I got you beat,” Lennon retorts. “Fifteen, and my boyfriend at the time’s bed. And yes, I still regret it a little. We had no idea what we were doing.”
“Fifteen,” I say. “And the living room couch, while everyone was home.”
“Eighteen for me,” Chloe goes on. “And it was in Jason McCleary’s bedroom.” She looks out at Lennon. “I have my regrets too. Mostly because I wasn’t ready but didn’t want to say no.”
“Me too!” Lennon takes a sip of her drink. “I wish I could talk to my teenage self and give that girl a boost in confidence.”
“Oh, same! I mean, I wasn’t forced into anything, but I wish I stuck up for myself a lot more. There are a lot of incidences where I wished I had.” Chloe shakes her head. “Things worked out for me, though. I hope they did for you too.”
“For the most part,” Lennon agrees and takes another drink. “Though I could use another boost of confidence when it comes to standing up for myself.”
“It’s hard,” Chloe agrees. “And I know this is lame, but a lot of times, I pretend that I’m my main character from Nightfall and do what Kellie would do. She’s so much more badass than me.”
“I think you’re pretty badass,” Lennon tells her with an encouraging nod.
“I do too,” Mason agrees, holding up the bottle of whiskey as a toast. “Even more so for putting up with his cranky ass.”
“Hey,” Chloe laughs, turning around to cup my face in her hands. “I happen to like this cranky ass.”
The sliding glass door opens, and we all turn to see my mom come out onto the patio. “Sorry to interrupt whatever is going on,” she starts. “Chloe, your phone keeps ringing. Someone named Karina has called a few times.”
“Really?” Chloe sniffles and gets up, turning her head to cough. She’s sounding sicker and sicker as the night goes on. “Thanks.”
“Who’s Karina?” Lennon asks, finishing her wine.
“My publicist,” Chloe tells her. “And I don’t know why she’d be calling me this late on a Satur--ohhhh.” Chloe makes a face, looking at the glowing screen of her phone. “I think this is what she was calling about.”
“What?” Mason asks, peering over. Chloe turns the phone up for me to see, and a photo of us locked in a kiss at the airport is the last thing I expected. The article headline mentions Chloe’s famous relationship with Charles Baldwin, who sources—according to this article at least—claimed was still dating Chloe.
“Who the hell took this photo?” Chloe asks, eyes narrowing as she reads the caption.
“What photo?” Lennon is on the edge of her seat—literally as well as figuratively—trying hard to look over at Chloe’s phone.
“This,” Chloe sighs, holding up the phone to show everyone the rather passionate photo of Chloe and I reuniting at the airport after days away from each other. “I still don’t get who took these photos. No one knew we were together or that I was even coming to the Chicago.” She looks up at me, brows furrow. “You’re not named,” she says quickly, worried I’m going to get upset for being dragged into the middle of her PR affairs. “You’re just an unidentified male kissing me.”
“So does this mean we don’t get to leak the sex tape now?” I joke. “And there was a girl at the baggage claim,” I remind her. “She was excited to see you and had you sign her book.”
“Ohhhh, right.” Chloe says with a nod. “I remember her now. Good thing she didn’t follow us to the car. Though if she did, there’s your sex tape.”
“Where’s the fun when we don’t have a copy of it?”
Chloe laughs, looking up from her phone. Her eyes meet mine and a rush goes through me. I never want this night to end. Because when it does, I have to tell her the truth.
“What are you talking about?” Jack asks.
“This.” Chloe flips her phone around and shows everyone the photos. “We, uh, were excited to see each other and I didn’t realize someone took photos, which they sold to the media.” She lets out a sigh as she rolls her eyes. “And I took a selfie with that girl and everything.”
“Do you have paparazzi following you around?” Lennon asks, leaning forward.
“Not usually,” Chloe tells her. “I’m not that interesting, and I think most of the time when someone sees me, they’re hoping to see Charles instead. We’re still friends and hang out when he’s in LA,” she adds with a shrug. “We go to the same gym and sometimes the paparazzi get all excited when they see me come out, and then when they realize it’s just me, they all leave. I’ve yet to take that as an insult,” she laughs. “I like to be the voice behind my characters, but not be the center of attention, like I said today.” She looks at me again.
“Because getting pizza and sitting at the table gives you more attention than that.” I look at the photo on her phone.
“Right? My life is hard.”
We laugh and Chloe yawns. It’s only around nine, but the sun already set, and it feels much later than it really is.
“I should call Karina back,” Chloe says and lazily stretches her arms out in front of her. “And I have to pee.”
“I’ll walk you in,” I tell her.
“I’m coming in too.” Lennon stands, wrapping her arms around herself. “It’s getting cold out here and we’re almost out of firewood.”
“There’s more in the shed,” Jacob says. “Feel free to go get it.”
“Exactly why I’m going inside.”
Mason pokes at the dwindling fire and I gather up the cups and glasses. Chloe goes in first, and is upstairs on the phone by the time we get in. Dad took Nana Benson back to the assisted living facility, and Mom is sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book.
“Are you kids calling it a night already?” She folds a napkin in half and sticks it in her book to mark her place.
“I think I will,” Jacob says. “I’m on rotation to go into the clinic tomorrow morning.”
“Then you better get some sleep.” Mom gets up and pulls a plate from the fridge, already prepared with leftovers for him. “Drive safely. I love you.”
“Love you too, Mom,” Jacob says and gives Mom a hug. “How long are you two staying?” he asks as he makes his way to the door.
“I figured we’d leave here around four or five at th
e latest.”
“I’ll probably stop by before then.”
“Sounds good,” I tell him.
“The night is young,” Mason says with a sigh. “You want to go to La Cantina?”
“If Chloe wants to go, we will. But since she’s not feeling well, we’ll probably head out too.”
“You just want to go back to her dad’s place so you can bang her.”
“Mason,” Mom says in warning, and I don’t have to turn to see her to know the look on her face right now. “Be a little bit more mature.”
“It’s physically impossible,” Lennon says. “And I’ll go to La Cantina with you. You can be my wingman and prove to my mom and Aunt Jeanette that there are no good guys left in town or maybe the world.”
“You don’t need a good one. Just a good time.”
“Ugh,” Lennon huffs, shaking her head. “I have lesson plans to do tomorrow, so I won’t see you,” she says to me. “Let’s not go over a year without seeing each other again this time.” She opens her arms for a hug. “And I really like Chloe. I’m glad you two are finally together.”
“Me too,” Mom, of course, agrees. “They always got along so well, and Chloe was just such a nice girl. I’ve been waiting for this day for a very long time, and I know, I know, I don’t want to rush anything, but I have such a good feeling about this.” Mom beams. “You two were meant to be, and I’m excited to see what your future holds.”
My chest immediately tightens. As much as I want to enjoy the rest of the night, I want to tell everyone the truth because it’s fucking killing me to keep this inside. I’m not a liar, and withholding something this big feels like the biggest fucking lie and I’m close to coming undone.
The stairs creak and Chloe comes back down, phone in her hand.
“Did your publicist advise you kick him to the curb?” Mason asks with a smirk. “Trade him in for someone younger so you can keep up your image?”
“Hah, no,” Chloe replies. “She mostly wanted details because she’s nosy. I promise I’m not as high-profile as you like to pretend. I prefer to keep my private life private, though I do get really into my Instagram stories.”
“Oh, I know how to watch those now!” Mom says proudly. “Rory showed me. I follow you on Instagram.”
“Thank you,” Chloe says with a smile. “I’ll have to follow you back.”
“I don’t post anything,” Mom admits. “I needed an account to watch Rory’s posts and now you. Oh, and I follow a kitten-lady.”
“Clearly, Mom is winning the social media game,” Mason jokes. “We’re going to head out to La Cantina, you want to come?”
Chloe looks at me. “Do you?”
“I’ll go if you want to.”
“I kinda want to go back to the house and sit by the lake instead,” she confesses.
“I’d prefer that,” I tell her. “We came here for the quiet, after all.”
“Thank you for dinner and everything,” Chloe tells my mom.
“Oh, honey, it’s a treat having you here. I’ll be looking forward to seeing you two again soon. It’s still a ways off, but do you know what you’re doing for Thanksgiving?”
“I was going to come here, actually. My dad and Wendy have come out the last few years and now it’s my turn to have Thanksgiving dinner with them.”
“Perfect!” Mom claps her hands together. “Rory and Dean are coming up from Indiana this year for Thanksgiving too! Your dad and Wendy are more than welcome! We can have one big feast.”
“I’ll run it by them. My dad would like that, and Wendy loves to bake, so she’d come bearing lots of gifts.”
“That would be so fun.” Mom pulls Chloe in for a big hug. “You two take care. Be careful on the roads at night. The deer are worse this year than ever before.”
“We’ll be fine,” I tell Mom and then say goodbye to Lennon and Mason.
“You’re good to drive, right?” Chloe asks when I open the door to my BMW for her. “That wine kinda went right to my head.”
“Yeah, I, uh, took one sip of that drink and that was enough. You made it a little strong.”
“I eyeballed how much booze to put in. It smelled like a lot.”
“It was. Don’t give up your writing career to be a bartender.” I close her door and go around, firing up the engine and turning on her heated seat. Chloe leans back, looking up at the stars through the sunroof.
“I do miss this,” she says quietly. “It’s so peaceful here, and I’m really excited to see snow again.”
“You say that now,” I tease, reaching over and resting my hand on her thigh. My heart is pounding away, and I don’t know how she hasn’t noticed something is off with me, because I definitely feel off. I need to keep my shit together.
We change into our PJs once we get back to Chloe’s dad’s house, and then sit on the living room couch, searching for something to watch. We’re both dozing off halfway through the movie and go upstairs to go to bed.
“I had a really nice time today,” she tells me, pulling the blankets up over her shoulder. “It wasn’t the most eventful day, but it was nice.”
“It was.”
“We should make this a thing,” she says, voice getting a little raspy. “Like once a month or every other month if you want to be realistic.” She yawns. “We come back here and just chill and unwind.”
“I’d love to do that.” I slowly run my fingers up and down her arm.
“Then let’s do it.” She tips her head up, and I can see the hope and excitement on her face through the dark. “Long-distance is hard, we can’t kid ourselves there. But we’re both able to travel around our work schedules, and having a mini-vacation to look forward to will really help.”
“Yeah,” I say and force myself to take a slow breath. Chloe’s head is resting on my chest. She’ll be able to hear it when my heart sounds pounding with dread. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” she says sleepily, and lets her eyes fall shut. I try to stay awake as long as I can, enjoying the last time I get to hold Chloe like this. Leaving her will kill me, but how can I give her what she wants?
Long-distance is hard. We built our relationship around the premise of being able to travel back and forth to see each other…which won’t work when I’m taking care of a newborn. I’ll happily travel with my child, but that opens a whole new issue that I’m not mentally prepared to think about.
Chloe’s breathing slows, becoming rhythmic and steady. It lulls me to sleep, and I dream that Chloe is pregnant instead of Stacey. I wake up a few hours later, alone in bed. Assuming Chloe is in the bathroom, I roll over, waiting for her to come back to bed. Ten minutes later, she’s still not back and the house is quiet.
“Chloe?” I call, getting out of bed. The bathroom light is off, but a light is on downstairs. Blinking, I go down and into the kitchen. “Chloe?” She doesn’t answer, and for a split second, I worry something happened.
Then I noticed the spotlight in the backyard is on, and the door leading to the screened-in porch is unlocked. I see Chloe’s silhouette at the end of the dock. I put my shoes on and walk out to her. The wooden planks creak under my feet, and she jerks around, startled.
“Oh, hey.” Moonlight bathes her pretty face.
“What are you doing out here?”
“I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep.” Chloe pulls the blanket tight around her shoulders, breath clouding around her as she speaks. “And I didn’t want to wake you up since you should be sleeping right now,” she adds pointedly. “You have to drive back to Chicago tomorrow and then get up early for work.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m just working my regular hours on Monday.”
“Really?” She raises her eyebrows.
“Fine. It’s still a twelve-hour shift.” I sit on the dock next to her and she takes the blanket from her shoulders and drapes it over the both of us. “I woke up and you were gone.”
“I came out here to think.”
“About what?” My hea
rt jumps into my throat. Did Stacey text again and Chloe saw it? How the hell would I explain that to her? I wasn’t keeping a secret from her…except that’s exactly what I did.
What I am doing?
“Everything,” she says with a smile, tipping her head up to look at me. The pale moonlight highlights the little freckles on her cheeks. Goddamn this woman is beautiful. “It’s kinda funny, isn’t it?”
“Maybe? Depends on what it is.”
“How everything came full circle.” She rests her head on my shoulder and I let my eyes fall shut. “This is where we met. Where I fell in love with you and where you fell in love with me, but neither of us let the other know. For years, Sam, years, it killed me watching you be with anyone but me. And then, well, you know what happened. But look, we’re right back here again, right where it all started. And this time, we’re still in love, together.”
I’m not an emotional person, but her words do something to me. I look out at Silver Lake, heart in my throat. She’s right in saying everything came full circle, because it did. But that doesn’t mean our story ends here, not with a happily ever after, at least. I fucked things up with Chloe once, and I swore I’d never do it again.
And that’s what’s funny—to the universe, at least, because I’m sure as shit not laughing. We’re right back where it all started, and this is also where things are going to end.
15
Chloe
I probably shouldn’t have sat out in the cold for as long as I did. My throat hurts when I swallow, and I’m chilled to the bone and shivering as I get back in bed with Sam. Sitting on the dock with him, looking at the stars reflected on the still mirror-like surface of the lake, was worth a little bit of the cold, that’s for sure. And it reaffirmed to me just how much I want to come back to Silver Ridge.
In the back of my mind, I really did see myself settling down here. It was hard to imagine my life settled down with anyone but Sam, and for some reason I supposed he’d end up back here too, but with someone who wasn’t me. Seeing the man I love happy with someone else, starting his own perfect family while I watched from the sidelines would hurt, and not being around to witness that brought me more relief than I ever imagined. Now that we’re together, that we’re starting to build a wonderful relationship, the fear is gone, and I feel the most hopeful I have in a long time.
Desperate Times (Silver Ridge Series Book 2) Page 14
