She hadn’t contemplated having a child, yet now that it was gone, she found it hard to breathe. In three days, she’d envisaged their entire future. The colors they would decorate the nursery. The sweet smell of a newborn. Their toddler’s first steps. Bright smiles and warm cuddles. All of it came and went in the blink of an eye. And now all she had left was consuming grief.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. “I would’ve come home. I would’ve been by your side as fast as the jet could get me back to you.”
She nodded, and sucked in a wavering breath. “I know. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. I wanted to see your face. I wasn’t entirely convinced you’d think it was good news.” She leaned back and studied his glazed eyes. “We haven’t spoken about children. I needed to witness your reaction. I needed to be sure you wouldn’t resent me.”
“I’d never resent you, angel.” He swept a hand through her hair, wiping away the stray strands that stuck to her cheeks. “I love you,” he murmured against her cheek. “I love you so much. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.” He continued to bathe her in comforting words, hugging her until her sobs turned into whimpers and her whimpers faded into the night.
When she had the strength to meet his gaze again, his eyes were filled with pain. Guilt haunted her for putting it there. She’d wanted to keep the news to herself, at least until after the wedding. Mitch and Alana meant a lot to them both. Sharing this with them, when they were celebrating the start of their marriage, was a burden Gabi didn’t want to bear.
“Deep down, I knew that, but my mind hasn’t been rational lately. The doctor told me it was due to the hormonal changes in my body.” She nestled back into his chest, hiding her face from view. “And after the miscarriage, I feared you wouldn’t want me anymore.” Her eyes began to burn, and a fresh wash of tears trailed down her cheeks.
Not only had she lost their child, she’d been hysterical thinking she would lose Blake too. If he had his heart set on a large family, and her body couldn’t provide it, what use was she to him?
“What?” He grabbed her shoulders, softly pushing her back to meet his harsh features.
“I’m a wreck, Blake. What happens if I can’t carry a baby to term? You have women flocking after you, and you’d be stuck with someone who can’t give you children.”
This was why she wanted the peace of Australian starlit skies and fresh Queensland air. She was irrational, crazy with grief, and unable to determine if her thoughts were justified or hormone induced.
“Gabi.” He lowered his face so they were nose to nose. “You’re killing me.” His throat convulsed with a swallow, and the glaze in his eyes made her want to crumble to her knees. “Please don’t do this to yourself. I don’t care about kids. I don’t care about other women. There’s only one thing I need for the rest of my life, and that’s you.” He brushed his lips against hers, then pulled her back into his chest. “I only need you, angel.”
Chapter Ten
Mitch stood alongside Alana, watching Gabi crumple into Blake’s arms. His fiancée mentioned the rift Kate caused in the strip club, yet what he was witnessing was far more emotional than a woman with insecurities over past conquests.
“Kate and your mom both sent me a text message,” Leah murmured. “They made it back to their rooms safely.”
“Great.” Alana didn’t tear her gaze from Gabi.
He was annoyed that the bachelorette party hadn’t gone the way he planned. Only it pained him more to see his fiancée worried for the woman who had become one of her closest friends. Gabi was a part of the Reckless family, and when one of them was hurting, they all did. Not that Allie currently acknowledged his existence. He was ninety-nine percent sure her lack of physical contact and rigid posture were because she was holding in her wrath over the way the guys looked.
“Shit,” Mason broke the silence. “It’s five to ten.” Without warning, the Reckless Beat front man threw his jacket to the ground, and began working the buttons of his shirt.
“What the hell are you doing?” Sean asked.
“Someone has to do the fucking nude run. We have less than five minutes.”
Mitch suppressed a grin, remaining quiet while Mason shucked his shoes and yanked down his pants.
“Jesus Christ,” Leah gasped and turned her back to Mason. “I don’t get paid enough to put up with this crap.”
“I didn’t lose a friggin’ eyebrow for nothing.” Mason’s clothes hit the pavement and seconds later he was running away from them, heading toward the Bellagio fountain in nothing but a baseball cap.
The bodyguards swore, glancing at each other, and then stared after Mason’s retreating form in panic.
“Go.” Mitch jutted his chin. “He’ll need all the protection he can get.” The rest of the group were fine to hang around unguarded in the parking lot. Nobody was paying them attention.
“I’ve gotta get this on camera.” Sean took his cell out of his pocket and took off after them, the pennies weighing down his pockets jingling in protest.
Mitch shook his head and turned his gaze back to Blake and Gabi. He should probably leave, too, and give them privacy, yet he couldn’t convince himself to walk away.
“I should’ve mentioned this before Mason ran his naked ass past,” Leah said, her tone devoid of remorse. “We didn’t complete all our challenges.”
“Don’t worry,” Mitch chuckled. “I was happy to keep my mouth shut about not getting the butterfly tattoo.”
“Yeah,” Ryan shrugged. “And I kinda paid the waitress when I was meant to dine and ditch.”
Mitch burst into laughter. “You idiot. I knew you would.”
“Yeah, he’s the idiot,” Alana muttered, taking a step away.
His laughter faltered, becoming fake. His fiancée was going to stab him. He was only thankful that she didn’t seem eager to do it in public.
“Well why didn’t you do it yourself?” Ryan scowled. “You know I’m a soft touch.”
“For that exact reason. I didn’t want to walk out without paying either.”
Their laughter died into uncomfortable silence, and long moments passed as they watched Blake and Gabi on the other side of the parking lot.
“I feel helpless,” Alana murmured.
“It could be nothing,” Leah offered. “Gabi had a lot to drink. Hell, we all did. I still can’t walk properly. And Blake’s been away for a week. She might’ve missed having him around.”
Alana shook her head. “No. Gabi’s not like that.”
Mitch grasped her shoulder, wordlessly offering support. She shrugged off the touch until his hand fell back to his sides. Not good. Not good at all. He chose to ignore the imminent threat of an argument, hoping with tipsy optimism that her barely contained fury would simmer by the time they reached their suite. “Blake wouldn’t placate her over something inconsequential, either. They both look upset. My guess is, something major has happened.”
“Like what?” Leah asked.
Mitch shrugged. That was the worst part. Even in his buzzed state, he could sense the seriousness of the situation. Only he had no clue what it was about. “I’m not sure. We’ll have to wait and see.”
* * *
Gabi’s warmth left Blake’s body as she stepped back from their embrace. He reached for her hand, still craving her touch, and entwined their fingers. Talk about blindsided. He hadn’t seen this coming. If given a thousand guesses, he wouldn’t have come close.
Pregnant.
Miscarriage.
The words made his mouth dry. And she’d gone through it alone. He hadn’t even noticed the change in their phone conversations. What kind of a fiancé did that make him?
A commotion sounded near the pathway leading into the parking lot, and Gabi turned toward the noise. He followed her gaze, finding Sean loping toward Mitch, Alana, Leah, and Ryan, with a huge grin on his face.
Next, Mason sprinted into view, naked, holding his junk i
n his hands. The only thing concealing his identity was a baseball cap. The bodyguards followed close behind, stopping at the group while Mason yanked his clothes off the ground and rushed to hide between two parked SUV’s.
“Please tell me I didn’t just get an eye full of Mason’s ass,” Gabi asked, tilting her face up to meet his gaze.
Blake wrinkled his nose. “I didn’t need to see that either.”
She let out a breath of laughter that warmed his heart, and stared up into his eyes. “Life is never boring when I’m with you.”
He gave an apologetic smile. For once, he hated the excitement in his life. Every time there was drama, it affected Gabi the worst. “Are you ready to speak to the others?”
She turned her focus back to his friends, her forehead creasing in concern. “Do we have to do this now?”
“No, angel.” He squeezed her fingers, wishing like hell he could take away her pain. “We can do it whenever you’re ready, but they’re gonna be worried until they find out what’s wrong.”
Gabi inhaled deep, letting it out gradually. “OK. Let’s get this over with.”
He stared at her, helpless, entirely lost. Sucking up his own self-pity, he led her forward, stepping from the soft grass onto the asphalt.
“Wait.” She planted her feet.
He didn’t push her, simply ran his hand around her neck and kissed her temple, breathing in her scent, willing his love to soothe her. “We don’t have to do this now. We can go back to our room. I’ll call Mitch later.”
“No. I want to get this over with. I just can’t say the words.” Her pleading eyes glanced up at him, the skin surrounding them now swollen and red. “Can you tell them?”
“Of course.” It was the least he could do. He ran a finger along her jaw, lifting her chin so their gazes collided. His lips moved closer, kissing away the drying tears on her cheeks. “I’ll do whatever you need me to do, angel.”
They strode forward as one, his legs heavy, and his heart hollow. He ignored Mason who cautiously peeked out from between the cars and followed behind them to the group. Blake’s mind was a mess, his emotions switching from the devastation of not being with Gabi when she needed him, to the pain of losing a child.
Their child.
A tiny baby.
Fuck. He still couldn’t believe it.
Months ago, he’d been surrounded by friends, but lost in his own solitude. He’d never been whole until he met Gabi. And without them knowing, they’d almost started a family. Clenching his jaw, he breathed through his nose until the burn from his eyes faded. This was his time to be strong. The moment he’d been waiting for—to be a rock for the woman who’d always been his strength. He raised his chin, ignored his own selfish feelings, and closed the distance to the other band members.
“Everything OK?” Alana’s soft voice asked.
Blake glanced at Gabi, wanting to make sure she wanted to continue. She gave a sad smile, nodded, and then broke eye contact to focus on her shoes.
“Not really.” He met Alana’s gaze and cleared his throat, dislodging the emotions trying to choke him. “Gabi had a miscarriage.”
Leah gasped. Alana covered her mouth with a hand, and more than one person swore. For long heartbeats the unsightly group stood speechless, the heavy sound of traffic and distant chatter filling the void.
“I’m so sorry.” Leah stepped forward, pulling Gabi into her arms.
Blake let his hand fall to his side, instantly missing the touch of her fingers against his. He watched Leah hold his fiancée, murmuring words in her ear, kissing her cheek. When she stepped back, she pierced him with a look of anguish. “If you need anything, please ask.”
Blake gave a jerky nod. He didn’t need anything, other than Gabi’s happiness, and only time would bring that back to him. Alana moved closer, offering comfort. Gabi remained strong, hiding her pain under the sad smile she used too well. As the women talked in hushed voices, Mitch stepped toward Blake, preparing for a man hug. Blake retreated, putting his palms up to halt this friend. He couldn’t handle sympathy right now. He couldn’t do the whole, let’s-hug-and-make-it-better scene. “I’m cool.”
Mitch scrutinized him for long moments, getting under his skin, ramping his pulse. Then finally he inclined his head. “Let me know if you want to talk.”
Blake stood frozen, thankful for the reprieve as Mitch moved on to hug Gabi. “We’re all here for you,” he spoke loud enough for Blake to hear. “Whatever you need, OK?”
Gabi nodded and pulled back to stare up at the lead guitarist. “What happened to your face?”
Her tone held a hint of humor that soothed the ache in Blake’s chest. This woman was far stronger than he was. Even lost in sadness, she could find happiness.
Mitch batted his fake lashes and puckered his glossy red lips. “Do you like?”
She chuckled, it was half-hearted and strained, but it was still laughter that warmed Blake’s soul. He noticed his friends relax, their posture no longer stiff and awkward. None of them were used to women problems. Hell, none of them were used to long term women. With the addition of Alana, and now Gabi, the last year had been a steep learning curve for them all.
“It’s different,” she replied, smiling. “Maybe bright red isn’t your color.”
Mitch puffed out a laugh and gave Gabi a quick kiss to the forehead. “I’ll go with a lighter shade next time.”
“Move outta my way, woman.” Mason shouldered Mitch out of the way. “It’s my turn.”
Mitch stumbled backward, moving to the side and allowing Mason to stand before Gabi. “How are you, sweetheart?”
Gabi shrugged. “I’m getting there.”
She was a trooper. It must be in the Aussie blood because Blake sure as shit wasn’t that strong.
“I had no clue you two were trying for kids.” Mason stepped into her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
“We weren’t.”
Blake wanted to soothe the wince that crossed his fiancées face. “She found out about the pregnancy while I was in Richmond. And miscarried a few days later. She didn’t want to tell me over the phone.”
“Fuck,” Mason muttered. “And you were in Richmond because of me. Christ. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s nobody’s fault,” Gabi whispered.
“Please, Gab,” Mason started, then turned his gaze to Blake. “And you too, B. I may not seem like the caring type, but I’ve got a good set of shoulders if you need someone to lean on.”
Blake couldn’t reply. He was speechless. Instead, he concentrated on the loose stones in the parking lot asphalt, toeing them with his boot. He needed to be alone with Gabi. He needed to do something, anything, to take away the heaviness dragging him down.
“Please don’t make me cry again.” Gabi whimpered. “And what happened to your face?”
Blake’s attention snapped to the slight smile tilting Gabi’s lips.
The gentle comfort left Mason’s features, and a frown settled in its place “Ask Sean,” he muttered, stepping back into their group of friends.
Gabi shuffled sideways, leaning into Blake. “What happened to his eyebrow?” she muttered under her breath.
“I’ll fill you in later.”
Sean stepped forward next, and Gabi’s mouth gaped. Mason had done some damage—a fat lip, swollen eye, and the bruising around Sean’s jaw was darkening by the minute.
Gabi shook her head. “I’m not even going to ask, OK?”
“Good decision.” He pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you.”
Sean moved out of her arms, and Ryan slid in front of her. “Yes, I’m orange,” he blurted. “Let’s hope it washes off.” Gabi chuckled and stepped into his opened arms, resting her head against his shoulder. “My heart’s breaking for the both of you,” he murmured into her hair. “If either of you need anything, you know we’re all here for you.”
Ryan let her go, allowing Blake to run his hand around her
waist and pull her back into his side. The group murmured amongst themselves, the fun from the evening eviscerated. Blake rubbed his sternum, trying to alleviate the throb underneath his ribs while Gabi’s plea from earlier repeated on a continuous loop in his head. Her instinct had been to go home, to leave him, and that hurt almost as much as witnessing her grief.
He didn’t want her to find comfort elsewhere. He needed to be her strength. He wanted to be all she ever needed, like she was for him.
“What’s wrong?” Gabi tilted her face to meet his gaze, her blue eyes sad yet resilient.
“I need to do something,” he spoke to himself. He needed to make a difference, to start the healing process, and strengthen their relationship. Most of all, he had to occupy his mind with his love for her, so he didn’t crumple in front of his friends.
“Like what?”
He stared into the distance, working ideas over in his head. The thought of losing her clawed at him. He hadn’t been there for her, or their child. He’d been out of town, something he’d have to do more of in the future, with tours and promo obligations. She’d already suffered too much because of their love. First Michelle and his own stupidity, now this. She’d given up her country, her job, her family, and nothing would ever show her how grateful he was. But still, he needed to do something. He had to make a gesture that reaffirmed how much she meant to him.
He needed to place a ring on her finger.
“Marry me, angel,” he murmured, turning into her.
She pulled back, frowning.
“I don’t want to wait,” he continued, knowing the months spent planning a proper wedding would be too long. He wanted another ring on her finger. He wanted her commitment in his heart. “I need you to be my wife. Now. Tonight.”
“Why?” Her words lacked excitement, her gaze devoid of enthusiasm. “Why now?”
He gripped her hips, trying not to add to her problems by showing how much he needed this. “Because I don’t want you to think leaving me is an option. I don’t want you to ever turn to someone else for support. Let me show you how much I love you. How much I need you. I’m not trying to take your pain away. Nothing will fix what you’ve lost—”
Reckless Weekend Page 8
