by M. K. Harper
“This is insane. Amazing, but absolute insanity,” I pant. “How the hell do I change back?” I ask him, worried I might be stuck like this forever.
“It’s easy,” Dax chuckles. “Your wolf needed a good run before she’d let go of the reins. Now that she’s been let out of her cage, you’ll have to give her freedom too. It’s a balancing act, Linny, but I have no doubt that you’ll do great.” I nod, the breeze ruffling my fur. It feels foreign and weird, but also freeing.
“Just tell her to let go and you’ll shift,” Dax steps back, giving me some space. Okay, girl. It’s my turn. Can I have my body back now? I feel stupid talking to basically myself, but I guess I better get used to it. I feel her chuff, then curl up and lay down. And like the snap of a finger, my body transforms. I gasp, the odd sensation stealing my breath. Dax follows right after, both of us naked and kneeling in the dirt. He grins and I feel the tears I didn’t realize had formed spill over. He gathers me in his arms and holds me close.
“I hope those are happy tears,” he tentatively asks. I nod, too choked up to answer him with actual words. I can’t begin to explain what I’m feeling. I had no idea how much I wanted that, no-needed, that connection with Dax. I could’ve gone the rest of my life never knowing how much of him I was still missing, how much of myself, and that would’ve been tragic. I slam my lips onto his, desperate to feel him all of him.
“I need you inside me,” I rasp, breaking apart just long enough to get those words out. Dax doesn’t waste time, and lucky for us, we’re already buck ass naked. My back hits the ground and I grunt from the impact. His hand slides between my thighs, finding me slick and ready.
“Fuck, you’re already wet,” his voice his hoarse.
“I told you I needed you,” I moan, arching my back to try and get closer. Dax doesn’t keep me waiting, no drawn out teasing to make me crazy. In one smooth move he enters me, making me cry out. His hand covers my mouth as he fucks me senseless. I’m sure I’ll have scratches all over my back from the sticks and leaves I’m lying on, but it only makes this hotter. My walls clamp down around him, making Dax groan, the sound going straight to my core. I come so hard I see stars, biting the palm of his hand as he uses it to stifle my scream. He grunts and slams into me once more before emptying himself on a muffled roar. Our breaths are ragged as I limply lay there staring at the sky. Normally, this is the part where I’d shy away. Feeling weird about doing something so far outside my comfort zone, questioning every second of it, but those worries have faded more and more each day. And right now? The only thing I feel is bliss. I’m on an orgasm high and I’m not sorry. A giggle escapes me. Dax leans back, a dopey smile on his gorgeous face as he stares at me.
“I love you so much, Linny. So goddamn much.” He kisses his mark on my neck as he scoops up my sated body and marches us back down the trail, dick flapping and tits bouncing the entire way.
Chapter 20
Linden
Thank god someone had the thought to leave a pack of clothes at the bottom of the cliff. We dress quickly, biting back smiles and stealing kisses that make me want to throw him down and go for round two. But I’m sure Mom is having a conniption, and I need to know what happened to my father. Daria jumping in like a damn martyr either threw him for a loop, or his heart simply gave out mid fight because he went limp as a noodle. I take Dax’s hand in mine, barely giving him time to pull on his shorts, and power walk to Beatrix and Carder’s. I’m nervous as hell for what awaits us. The second the house comes to view, the front door flies open and Caulder comes barreling down the steps.
“Did you see her?! Did you see her, D?” His grin is huge.
“I saw her, little dude.” Dax chuckles, ruffling his hair.
“Soulmate, you were beautiful!” Caulder throws his arms around me, whooping and howling in glee. I can’t help but join in, spinning us around and around. The door opens again and there’s Papa Wolf, smiling proudly. We walk towards him, my need for his approval greater than I could’ve imagined. I feel my head tilt in deference as we approach, the gesture an automatic response to being in his presence. I feel it now, the power he exudes. Carder pulls me in for a hug, his huge arms engulfing me.
“I’m so happy for you, Itty Bitty,” he pulls back and kisses my head. Beatrix ushers us inside, the house filled with our usual group.
“Indy! Oh, thank god,” Mom hurls herself at me. “What the hell were you thinking?! Why would you engage a rabid wolf?” She smacks my arm. Jesus, to be so tiny, she sure is strong. But I know exactly what I was thinking. I might not have at the time, but it’s crystal clear now.
“That I wasn’t about to stand by and watch my mother get mauled?” It comes out a bit sassier than I intended, but honestly, ask stupid questions...get stupid answers.
“Linden Elodie, you are not too old for an ass whoopin’!” Mom’s glare puts me in my place, and I nod, knowing she will absolutely beat me with a switch in front of God and everybody and not bat an eye. Southern women are a breed of their own. She even made me pick my own switch once. And let me tell ya, there is no right outcome to that. Too big? You’re being a smartass. Too small? You’re being a smartass. Lose-lose no matter what you do. But shit if it doesn’t put the fear of our Lord in me, even if I am a legal adult now. Chev coughs to cover his laugh and I shoot daggers at him with my eyes.
“Where’s dad?” I quickly change the subject. “Is he alive?” My voice holds no emotion, but I’m actually panicked. I have no clue which way I want her answer to go. A pained laugh-slash-sob slips from her lips and my heart drops.
“He’s alive,” Carder interjects. “Uh...it appears that Daria is...” he palms the back of his neck, making his discomfort known.
“Daria is what?” I prod when he doesn’t continue. I swear to Christ if she went and got herself hurt, or worse, I’m going to tear her a new one.
“Your father’s mate,” Carder mumbles so quietly, I almost don’t make out the words. In fact, I’m fairly fucking certain I’ve misheard him.
“She’s what now?” My voice goes up and octave, edging awfully close to shrill.
“His mate,” Mom answers miserably.
“Plot twist?” Chevy retorts, coming in with the worst timed one liner in the history of ever.
Holy. Fucking. Shit.
~~~
I think we sit in silence for a good half hour, just trying to process this latest turn of events. And a turn it is. I can’t seem to wrap my head around it. I don’t know what this means for my father in the long run. I thought he was beyond saving. Isn’t that what we’ve been told repeatedly? So, does this change anything, or is it just a cruel twist of fate as he makes his grand exit? So many questions.
“What does that mean exactly?” I finally put actual words to my thoughts.
“We aren’t sure yet,” Carder answers. He looks worried, but hopeful. “Your father has been calm since Daria intervened, but she hasn’t left his side. I don’t know what would happen if she tried.” He sighs heavily.
“We have him contained back in the cell at the gym. He’s very much still a threat to himself and others, especially you Grace.” Mom blanches at Carder’s words, probably replaying vivid details of all the times he’s been a threat to her before. Tonight was something else entirely, though. His wolf wanted her dead. Not hurt or running scared. Dead. A wave of nausea hits me at that realization.
“For now, Daria has agreed to stay with him. But she knows to contact us if he even farts funny,” Dax snorts at his father crassness, pulling me to his side. “The best thing we can all do is get some sleep and start fresh tomorrow.” Right on cue Caulder snores loudly, making us laugh. I guess all the excitement got the better of him. Dax moves to pick him up so we can head home when Beatrix stops him.
“Leave him. Why don’t you two take your old room and he can sleep where he’s at on the couch. It’s been a long day, and you’ll both just end up back here bright and early anyways.” She smiles and kisses both of our cheeks be
fore doing the same to Chev, and then heads to bed with Carder. I pull Mom in for a hug, aware this has to be doing a number on her. As much hurt as my father has caused, we both know deep down that it was never really his fault, as hard as that may be to accept. And now she’s got front row seats to the man she loved finding his mate. The woman our whole, miserable existence in Pembroke unknowingly revolved around. And Daria. How the hell will an assault victim, someone who has been through far more than I can imagine, feel safe mated to someone like my father? It might be a moot point come tomorrow. Who knows how this will play out. I squeeze Mom reassuringly, hoping she knows that I’ll be right here beside her no matter which way the chips fall. As will everyone else in this house.
“I’ll see you in the morning, Inds,” she smiles sadly and heads for the spare room. Chev walks over and pats my cheek arrogantly.
“You’re such a cute pupper,” I swat his hand away, growling at him. He laughs and skips off, yelling goodnight as he claims Caulder’s bed. I hope LT wakes up in the middle of the night and rolls his ass right on the floor. Dax and I walk to his old room, throwing on whatever we can find to sleep in before we make our way to the bathroom to brush our teeth. Thank god we keep extra toiletries here. When he turns off the light and we crawl into bed, my eyes are barely open. I’m bone tired, my muscles achy and a stress headache quickly building. I suppose abra kadabra-ing into a large canine will take it out of ya.
“Sleep, Linny. It’ll all work out, I promise.” I nod, or at least I think I do, and slip away just like Dax encouraged me to.
The next morning, I crawl out bed like I’m a geriatric patient. I hurt in places I didn’t know a body could hurt in. Dax is already up as I stumble my way to the kitchen, seeking out caffeine and an ice pack roughly the size of myself. Every step takes a great amount of effort. A few times, I stop and brace myself against the wall to take a break – pathetic, I know – and contemplate yelling for Dax so that he can carry me the rest of the way. Eventually I make it there, a little sweaty and a lot ornery. Looks like the whole gang is present, eating breakfast and talking quietly amongst themselves. I flop into the empty seat beside Dax, groaning as my muscles protest.
“Morning, sunshine,” he smiles as he slides a cup of coffee and a bottle of water in front of me. “Drink both or I take your creamer away.” I’d glare at him but it wouldn’t be worth the effort. “The first shift is always rough. You’ll need the water to make sure you don’t get dehydrated.” I nod, throwing it back in one go. Dax passes me another and I sip it slower now that my mouth isn’t as dry as the Sahara.
“I feel like death warmed over,” I whine, my head falling forward, making an audible thud as it meets the table.
“It won’t always be so bad, Itty Bitty,” Carder chuckles. “It was likely worse for you because you shifted so late.” That comment brings question one of five thousand to the forefront.
“About that,” I peel my head up so that he can hear me clearly. “Why did I shift? Isn’t that unheard of for a half wolf?” Carder nods as he thinks about my question.
“Not necessarily unheard of, just not common. It takes a lot of strength and will, but you’ve got those in spades so it doesn’t surprise me that you made it happen,” he smiles, that proud glint in his eyes making me preen. “We only know of the one, but that doesn’t mean there ain’t others out there. And as for why, well, I think it’s a combination of things. One bein’ your mama and the immediate danger she was in. I think the threat to her life helped draw out your wolf, but I also think that bein’ around a pack these past couple of months has helped greatly. We feed off each other and it would make sense for your wolf to have grown stronger the longer you’ve been exposed to your own kind.” Huh. Okay then. I wish she would’ve come out to play all those other times Mom was in danger, but I imagine if I had suddenly shifted into an animal with no knowledge such a thing even existed, I’d have been admitted to the local psyche ward after having a nervous breakdown.
“Any updates on my father?” I quickly glance at Mom, who appears a little worse for wear. She’s nursing what looks suspiciously like a bloody mary, her hair piled in a tangled mess on the top of her head. It could be from the wine coolers she was tossing back last night, but it’s more likely her newly mated husband.
“Not too much. He’s slowly comin’ around, more alert and clear headed. I still don’t know how much of him will come back, so don’t get your hopes up.” I scoff. That hasn’t really been a concern for me. I think I’m more worried about if he actually does. What will I do if the father I once adored makes a sudden reappearance? It won’t change anything, or erase what he’s done. It’s awful, but it’d almost be worse if he were magically fixed. Because how do you hate someone you love, and love someone you hate? I’m not the same little girl he gave piggyback rides to and tickled relentlessly. Hell, I’m not even the same girl I was last month. I still have moments of weakness, but that girl who fell apart on the blood-stained dirt of Pack Ames land? She broke during the days that followed. And then she gathered those pieces up, put them back together and let the healing begin. Wounds eventually heal, the skin growing back together. I just need to keep myself together long enough for the pieces to reattach. I might not look or feel the same when it’s all said and done, but I’ll be alive. And now I’ve got a wolf inside me that will ensure I never feel unprepared again.
Chapter 21
Linden
It takes me four days to muster up the courage to go visit my father. What can I say? I’m a chickenshit. Cluck, cluck motherfuckers. But it felt vital to be with my mom during those first few days after everything flipped upside down and sent us for a loop. We stayed away from pack land, holing up at her place instead. Dax slept over every night, never once complaining. He knew I was where I needed to be. He’d sleep at Mom’s, cuddling me close after we had our nightly pillow talk, and then he’d disappear for the day so that we could have time to ourselves. Chevy joined in also, complaining that he couldn’t take another night of Caulder’s incessant whining about his “fat ass taking up the whole bed.” LT’s words, not mine. Dax has kept me updated, though.
Apparently, my father has made a miraculous recovery. With the help of Daria, of course. God knows he might hulk out again if she so much as takes a piss alone. I should be happy, I know that. But I’m honestly not anything. Not happy, or sad, or angry. I’m just blah. Maybe I don’t feel one way or another because I’ve yet to actually face it head on. Which is why I’m currently standing in front of the door that leads to the basement of the gym, contemplating throwing myself down the stairs to avoid this nightmare. Can’t deal with family drama if you’re concussed, now can you? But alas, it’s time to pull up my big girl panties - granny sized for this clusterfuck - and deal with it. I refused to let Dax come along, to which he pitched a proper bitch fit about, but oh well. This is something I need to do alone. Doesn’t mean he isn’t pacing like a crackhead outside. These wolf senses really do come in handy. My hearing is on point with the full moon being tomorrow.
I take a breath and open the door. No turning back now. I force myself forward, not slowing enough for my mind to play catch up. It’s quiet, and I nearly die on the spot when Daria steps out of the shadows and blocks my way at the bottom of the steps. Like Gandalf, demanding I shall not pass.
“Sweet Lord above, is it a rite of passage or some shit to try and scare the life out of me?” I swear up a storm, trying to stay quiet enough so that Dax doesn’t pick up any hint of worry on my end. If I can hear him, then he can hear me. He’d storm the place, a one-man Army powered by testosterone alone. I swear the full moon is the male wolf equivalent to that time of the month for women. If dealing with his overbearing ass is anything like what they go through with us, then I apologize on behalf of women everywhere.
“Sorry,” Daria smiles tightly. “Can we talk first?” I nod, stepping around the back side of the stairs so that we have a little privacy. Not really sure it’ll keep Dear Ole Dad fro
m overhearing, but whatev.
“Your father is fragile right now, Linden. He’s got over a decade of guilt weighing him down. He has a long road ahead of him, but these next few minutes with you? Those are going to be pivotal to his recovery.” I grind my teeth. What she says makes sense, but it doesn’t piss me off any less.
“So, basically...tamp down my feelings for the sake of his? Is that the gist of it?” I force out through clenched teeth. Maybe it was a bad idea coming here so close to the full moon, especially after shifting for the first time just days ago. Everything’s heightened and I don’t know if what I’m feeling is all me, or a product of that. Daria sighs, rubbing a hand over her face. She has bags under her eyes and looks like she hasn’t slept properly since Dad Jesus’d himself back to life. Now I just feel shitty for taking my anger out on her.
“Yeah,” she replies. “That’s the gist of it. I know how crappy and unfair that is to you, but how you feel today, might not be how you feel in a month or six. Your relationship with your father may seem broken beyond repair right now, but don’t make a permanent decision based on temporary emotions. If you eventually want to try and fix what he broke, he needs to be alive for you to have the option to do that. So, please. Just go easy on him.” Daria’s eyes well with tears. I’m so fucking confused by this whole thing.
“How are you okay with this? Given what you’ve been through and what he’s done?” I wave my hand in the general direction of my father. She nods, like she expected me to ask that.
“Because he’s my mate,” she whispers. And that’s really all the explanation I need. Because as much as I’d hate to admit it, if this were Dax and I, I’m not sure I’d be able to walk away either. I exhale, shaking my arms out, and give her a tight nod. It’s both an acknowledgment of what she asked of me and her explanation.
