by Kitt Rose
Ash's words, his promise to take the weight of my sorrows and misfortune, sparked something inside me. Cracked open the dry husk that my heart had become, revealing something small and new. It was pale from the darkness, from being locked away for so long, and it desperately needs to be nurtured. But it was alive. Pulsing and pushing, keeping me going, and begging me with each beat to let it grow.
I loved Ash. I always had.
If I was being honest with myself, I had to admit that if all the other bullshit hadn't happened, I would have jumped at the chance to be with him. And forever with him… Well, that was heady.
The only thing keeping me from saying yes was my history. The mountain of loss that had fallen down around me. But history was just that—history. It was no indicator of the future. The past was meant to teach, and what had the pain taught me?
Would I do anything different if I had known the outcomes? Would I have pushed Daniel away? Let my mom die without a fight? Pulled away from Justice so that his death wouldn't have hurt so much?
For each of the questions that flew through my mind, the answer was a resounding no. I wouldn't take those I had loved from my life. Not for all the money in the world. Not for the life of my original, undamaged heart.
And so, I would take the leap now.
I would give myself forever to the one man, or Protean as the case was, who had always had my heart. Even across the years and miles. I had always been his.
“Yes, I'm sure, Ash. I… I can't say the words yet, but I still feel them. I have always felt them.”
Something passed through his eyes, something bright and hopeful. It made me feel ten feet tall. And then he kissed me.
If I thought his kisses before had been intense, they were nothing compared to this. This was Ash claiming me. His mouth took ownership of mine, his tongue and teeth teasing me with promises of what was to come. His chin scraped against mine in a delicious rasp of stubble. I sought out more of his bare flesh, peeling his shirt up and tugging it over his head. I tossed it somewhere behind us, not caring where it landed.
Miles of gleaming, toned flesh taunted me and I decided right then and there that I had to taste it. All of it. Every last inch. From the pale peach nipples to that insane six-pack. Especially that tempting V that seemed to point straight into his pajama pants. It was an invitation I wouldn't pass up. But Ash didn't give me a chance to explore. He was on the move, lifting my shirt up and over my head.
My hands moved reflexively to cover myself as insecurity blazed through me, but Ash got there first. His hands covered my bare chest, thumbs teasing my nipples to hard peaks. Self-doubt flew from my mind as he swallowed my groan of pleasure. My thighs squeezed together as a rush of wetness throbbed through me. I dug my hands into his waistband and tugged. It was a wordless plea he heard.
Ash hesitated for a heartbeat, and then the pants were gone and I discovered that Ash was once again going commando. Did he never wear underwear? That question, and one of its possible answers, would probably keep me from ever being able to concentrate in his presence again.
I giggled into his kiss and he pulled back, his mouth wide in a grin that was exuberant and slightly wicked.
“What's so funny?” he asked, working the tie on my pajama pants.
I shook my head, and to distract him, stroked a finger down the length of him. As distractions went, it worked pretty damn well.
Ash's mouth dropped open in a shuddering exhale, his eyes slowly rolling closed. Encouraged, I gripped him.
It had been so long. I had almost forgotten.
Ash's cock was so hot and hard. I stroked him slowly and his hands, which had been frozen, renewed their effort to untie my pants. By the third stroke, he had lost all patience. With a growl that vibrated against my lips, he dug his hand under the knot and yanked, breaking the tie.
I jerked. “Hey! These are my fav— Ooooh shit.”
My eyes fluttered closed and my mind emptied as he pushed a hand into my panties, and his fingers found my clit. He circled that sensitive spot, just barely brushing it in the best sort of tease. I moaned as the circle tightened, his touch growing firmer.
Jesus. Asher Stefan was in my hand, hard and ready for me, and his hand was in my pants. Sixteen-year-old me would be jealous.
I released him long enough to tug my pants and underwear down my hips, kicking them away.
Ash smiled down at me, his eyes heavy-lidded and practically glowing. “Libby.”
The way he said my name, it curled my toes. His finger breached my body and I gripped the sheets in tight fists. My body bowed up off the bed.
He groaned. “You are so wet. I can't wait to be inside you.”
Unable to speak, I nodded. I wanted to be filled with him. To feel him inside me. To connect with him so deeply.
Especially as he pumped the finger, adding a second, stretching me.
Ash turned up the pressure, stroking my clit in such a way that my legs started to tremble. I let go of the sheets and my hands flew to his back, my nails dragging down to sink into the flesh of his ass.
Ash's mouth met mine again, in a deep and aggressive kiss and my eyes drifted closed. His body pressed into my side, the hard length of him against my thigh. His hips bucked into me as his mouth left mine. And then I felt the brush of hair against my breast a moment before hot, wet suction fastened on to my nipple.
His tongue teased me, then his teeth, and all the while his hand worked me. Everything started to tighten, the tension winding up deliciously. Forcing me higher and higher. I was almost there when everything stopped. When Ash stopped.
I cried out in protest. It was short-lived. Ash was already between my thighs, fitting himself into the cradle of my legs. One hot hand hooked behind my knee and lifted it to his waist.
“Libby. Look at me.”
His voice was rough like sandpaper. Sexy as hell.
I opened my eyes and looked at him. His pale blond hair hung in his face, sweat beaded his forehead, and his eyes… As long as I lived, I would never forget the way he was looking at me.
It was more than lust. More than want. I didn't have a name for what was in his expression, but it made my heart beat fast with anticipation and need.
With his eyes locked on mine, one hand at my waist and the other bracing him above me, he pushed into me. It was a slow slide that made me gasp and lose my breath. It felt amazing. He felt amazing.
When his hips finally rested against mine, he squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed, his throat bobbing. His forehead lowered to mine, and something wet hit my cheek.
I threaded my hands into his hair and gently forced his head up enough to see tears glistening on his lashes.
Something inside me trembled. I inhaled a shuddering breath before whispering, “You're inside me, Asher.”
He swallowed again and nodded.
And then, with a tenderness I had never known, he was kissing me again. His hands came up to cup my face, and he rocked into me. He was gentle, his movements restrained, allowing my body to get used to his presence. But those small shifts of his hips weren't enough. I didn't want his care. I wasn't glass, and I was oh so ready for him. So I moved. I circled my hips to draw him deeper, and he moaned loudly, pulling back.
His jaw was clenched tight, tendons visible.
“Give me a minute,” he pleaded, panting.
I fought a smile but did as he asked. His eyes squeezed shut, and he exhaled slowly. And then, without warning, he pulled out almost all the way, then plunged back in. I dug my head back into the pillow, a groan of delight spilling from me. God, he felt good.
His pace increased, his body flush to mine, his movements adjusting to my noises. I wrapped my legs around his waist, moving to meet his thrusts as my body thrummed with sensation. Then he slowed, rolling so that I was on top. I floundered for a moment, nervous and so incredibly turned on. He was a centerfold under me, with sweat kissed skin and taut muscles. So incredibly perfect. Almost untouchable. But I could touch him
because he was mine.
This made him mine.
Didn't it?
I paused, putting both of my hands on his chest, stroking downward.
“Ash? Are we mated now?”
His voice was a hoarse whisper. “Not yet.”
One of his hands slid down my waist, gliding around to find my clit. He started to stroke, biting his lip as his eyes roamed my body.
“How then?” I asked and gave into the desire to move. In an increasingly frantic pace, I started to rise and fall above him, feeling him glide inside me.
I hadn't had a lot of sex. Only one other partner in my lifetime, but this was amazing. I hadn't known it could be like this. I wanted to speed it up and slow it down all at the same time. Make it last forever.
“I'll…” he paused, swallowing. “I bite you.”
“Kinky,” I said with a smirk, grinding down on him. “Will it hurt?” I panted.
“Yes. No. I'll try to do it when you won't notice,” he said, his eyes unfocused.
“When wouldn't I notice?” I asked, incredulous enough that I paused.
With a growl, he rolled me back under him, thrusting hard and fast.
I forgot what we were talking about. Forgot what words were. I forgot that I was anything but this body, writhing against his. The sensation rising inside me, the tightening that was pulling me higher and higher, promised to send me soaring. It took over everything. Until all there was in the universe was that feeling and Ash, moving inside me. My heartbeat centered on where we were joined, leaving me lightheaded.
He brought his mouth to mine, then slid to my ear, as I started to tighten around him. “Come for me.”
And as if he could command it, I did. The sensation inside me exploded, and I yelled his name, my nails digging into his flesh, trying to pull him deeper. To keep him inside.
That was when he bit me.
His teeth sunk into the flesh where my neck met my shoulder. Bright pain flashed, drowned out by the overwhelming pleasure. A deep, rattling groan rose from his chest. He moved to kiss me, his motions growing desperate, and the taste of copper lingered in his kiss. He thrust once, twice, then I swallowed down the groan of his release.
I wrapped my arms and legs around him, holding him inside, keeping him close. He lowered his weight onto me, kissing me deeply. His hips moved lazily, making me shudder and clench. When I did, a tremor ran through his body and he broke the kiss. Seeming to realize that he was crushing me, he rolled us so that we were side by side.
I stroked the sweat-slicked skin of his shoulders, down his back.
His tongue moved over the spot his teeth had pierced, and it stung. I jerked, reaching up to touch the torn skin, feeling the wetness of my blood under my fingers.
“Ash?” My voice wavered as I hesitated.
He pulled back and I gasp at the blood on his mouth. My eyes were locked on the red smear at the corner of his flushed lips. Swallowing, I pointed at the spot and Ash blushed, then scrubbed the back of his hand over his mouth.
“Better?” he whispered, and at my nod, pressed his palm to my cheek. “It's okay, Lib. Let me get a towel and bandage. Let me take care of you.”
The uncertainty that had been building eased. I wanted him to take care of me. I wanted that bit of intimacy. But not right now. I tightened my arms around him. “Later. I don't want you to go anywhere yet. I want to stay right here and remember exactly how you feel inside me.”
I couldn't believe I'd told him that. But I didn't care enough to blush.
“I want that too,” he said with all honesty. “I'll never forget this moment. Thank you, Libby. For letting me claim you. For being my mate. I love you. No matter what, I will always love you.”
Tears flooded my eyes now, and I nodded, burying my face in his throat. I wanted to say the words, but I couldn't. I just… couldn't.
He seemed to understand, and his arms tightened around me.
“You don't have to say it. I can feel it. And we have time to figure out the rest.”
I closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep.
15
Libby
I woke up on damp sheets. They clung to me, cold and uncomfortable, as I rolled. My groggy mind tried to puzzle out what was going on when the events of the night before flooded in. I bolted upright in bed, alarm lighting in my veins.
Ash was up next to me in an instant, rubbing at his eyes. “What's wrong? Are you okay?”
“We didn't use anything. Protection. I'm not on the pill, and we didn't use anything. Ash, I can't…” I clawed at my chest, my breathing shallow and tight. I couldn't get pregnant. Not now, maybe not ever.
Ash grabbed me, pulling me close. His hand rubbed circles in between my shoulder blades. “It's okay. I would be able to smell if you were fertile, and you aren't. We're safe.”
“Are you—are you sure?” I asked in a thin voice.
“Yes, reasonably.”
“Reasonably,” I said.
“There are no guarantees, but I'm as certain as I can be.”
Relief rushed through me, and I collapsed back onto the bed, falling out of Ash's embrace. He followed me down, curling around me to kiss my shoulder. I closed my eyes and made an effort to slow my breathing, using the rise and fall of Ash's chest behind me as my measure.
After a long moment, he asked, “Want to tell me what that was about?”
I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut. “I'm not ready.”
“To talk about it, or to have a baby?”
“Both,” I whispered.
“You can tell me anything. When you're ready, I'll be here to listen,” he said gently.
I exhaled and rolled to face him. His gaze was soft, and there was something white crusted at the outer corner of his left eye. Without thinking, I reached out a finger and gently brushed it away. He didn't so much as blink, his trust seemingly absolute, just curved his mouth in a sleepy smile.
I looked past him to the window. It wasn't exactly light outside, but it was bright enough to suggest that dawn wasn't far off. After waking up the way I had, I wouldn’t be going back to sleep.
Not to mention, I was somehow back in the wet spot.
I squirmed out of it, winding up half on top of Ash. It wasn't a bad place to be. His skin was warm and smooth, smelling of man and musk and Ash.
He stroked a hand down my bare spine, humming a contented sound, then said, “Last night, I asked you to share with me everything that had happened. We didn't exactly get to that part.”
I flushed. “No, you distracted me.”
“I distracted you?” he asked, voice incredulous and amused.
My face felt warm and I tucked it into his neck, nodding.
He laughed deep in his chest. “I think you were the one with the distractions. And it was a hell of a nice one. But I still want to know, if you'll tell me.”
I wanted to, but I was having trouble finding the words. I freed myself from his arms and sat up, pulling the sheet up to cover my chest. “Okay, from the beginning… Moved to Georgia so my mom could be with Mick the dick. You flake out on me—”
Ash interrupted, his voice apologetic and angry all in one. “I didn't flake out. After my little 'stunt,' as Joshua likes to call it, I was forbidden from calling or writing you. I was told I had to go an entire six months with no contact so I would learn the Pack took precedence, and that my Alpha's orders were not to be circumvented, however cleverly.
“When the six months were up, they sent me to China to learn from their Marked Alpha. I couldn't exactly call from there—which I think was the point.” He shoved a hand through his hair and shook his head. “When I got back, I came to Atlanta. It was about a year and a half after we last talked, but I couldn't find you. You had vanished.”
That gave me pause. Ash had come after me. He had looked for me. Had tried to keep his promises. It made me feel precious. It also made me realize that when I'd called, he hadn't been there. The woman might have been answering a phone number
I thought had been his, but it hadn't been his any longer. That also made me feel better.
I leaned down and kissed him deeply. “Thank you for looking for me. I didn't know. I really wish… Well, it doesn't matter.” What I had to tell Ash wasn't easy to talk about, but when I started talking again, my voice was a little lighter.
“About two months after Mom died, we came home from school to find our things at the curb with the trash, and the locks changed. Mick was gone, the house empty. I have no idea where he went, but he took everything of value with him.
“Justice and I salvaged what we could, and for the next few nights, we slept under the bleachers at school. Then Just found an apartment that was cheap. It was above a garage. One bedroom with a kitchen that consisted of a mini-fridge and a hot plate. The bathroom was so small you had to turn sideways to close the door and sit on the toilet to shower.
“We stayed there for about four months, then one day we came home and the police were talking to the landlord. Justice was spooked. We didn't know if it had anything to do with us, but we weren't willing to take the risk. So, we took off and left everything behind. The rest of that year was basically more of the same. One crappy apartment after another, trying to stay under the radar just to make it to eighteen. We were terrified that if they found us, they would split us up.”
Shivering, I remember how much the idea of being separated from Justice had terrified me. I hadn't known I could survive without him. To be honest, I still wasn't sure how I would make it day to day knowing my brother was gone.
I cleared my throat, ignoring the burn of tears in my eyes and continued. “I got a job at Walgreens and met Daniel there. I… I feel terrible saying this. I loved Daniel a lot, and he was my best friend, but I don't think I was ever in love with him. Our relationship was more about need than want. Both of us needed the other person for something. Like, when we got married it was so I could move in with him without his parents freaking out. He wanted to take care of me, and I…”
