Everything about him seemed perfect, from the crisp knot in his light-blue tie to the sharp crease in his pants. He sat so still that for a moment, I imagined him drawn and painted there, the portrait of the Saddlebrook patriarch, as regal as any king. There was an air of immortality and power about him. And yet I felt nothing terrifying and angry flowing from him the way Ava often portrayed him.
So this was why Karen thought her grandfather would live forever, sometimes regretfully so, I thought. There was nothing really elderly or infirm in his appearance. He had the ruddy complexion of a man half his age.
“You two never looked more like parents of teenagers,” he said, his lips forming the smile I was anticipating, although this smile was somewhat impish.
As we drew closer, I thought he was a good-looking older man. There was something confident and refined in his face, and with that youthful touch, it created a subtle sexiness. Some of the firmness I saw in Ava obviously had come from him, but I felt he could flash it on and off with almost a flick of his wrist.
“Being that we are,” Ava said, “that’s not much of a profound observation, Daddy.”
“You’d be surprised at how many people don’t look like what they really are,” he replied. “So this is Saffron,” he said, not waiting for an introduction. He nodded at me, and although no one had asked me to, I felt drawn to step forward quickly.
“Hello, Mr. Saddlebrook,” I said. “I’m in awe of your house and the grounds.”
He stared for a long moment like someone trying to see if I were really sincere.
“The result of many years of tender loving care,” he said. He looked at Karen. “So, granddaughter, how are you two getting along? It must be nice having someone your age sharing your home.”
“She’s all right,” Karen said, looking at me. “And will be better once she learns how to be a teenager.”
Her grandfather laughed. “I don’t know as being a teenager provides any advantage these days, eh, Derick?”
“Too much static,” Daddy said. Amos Saddlebrook nodded as though they shared some secret about my generation.
“Well, everyone get comfortable.” He nodded at the half-moon sofa across from him. “I had Miss Becky open one of the bottles of Veuve Clicquot champagne the French ambassador gave me for my birthday last year.”
“Ugh. I hate champagne,” Karen said.
“You’re not drinking it anyway,” Ava said.
We crossed the study to the sofa. There was another easy chair on the right. The floor of the study was covered with a large rug woven in hues of bright sage green and light orange. Ava sat in the far right corner of the sofa, and Daddy sat beside her. I waited for Karen to sit next to him, but she was practically moaning with boredom and struggling to move forward, so I did.
“What a beautiful rug,” I said.
“It’s Moroccan. My wife bought this on one of our trips,” Amos Saddlebrook said. “I’m surprised you noticed. Most of Karen’s friends move through here as if they wore blinders. This was quite the exciting buy.”
Karen rolled her eyes and plopped down beside me.
“Might be another long, dreary story,” she warned.
Miss Becky brought in the champagne in an ice bucket. A young African American woman followed her with a tray of champagne glasses and some dip and crackers.
“May I introduce Molly Carter?” Amos Saddlebrook said. “Just hired last Tuesday to assist Miss Becky with her duties.”
Molly smiled at us. She looked no more than seventeen.
“Would you like to taste the champagne, Saffron?” Amos Saddlebrook asked me.
I was surprised. I looked at Ava, but she was looking down as if she were trying to control her anger. Was there always rage dancing around her when she confronted her father? She had made no attempt to greet him warmly, kiss his cheek, anything. He could be any stranger.
“Yes, please.”
He nodded at Miss Becky, who started to pour five glasses.
“None for me. I’ll have a Coke,” Karen said.
Miss Becky nodded at Molly, who turned quickly, obviously to fetch it. Then Miss Becky brought glasses to Ava, me, and Daddy before she brought one to Amos Saddlebrook. Molly must have run to the kitchen. Before we had a chance to sip our champagne, she hurried back with a glass of Coke for Karen.
She took it, and a good beat went by before she said, “Thank you.”
“Okay,” her grandfather said after Miss Becky and Molly left. “Let’s toast Saffron’s arrival, not under the best circumstances but hopefully the right place for her to be at this time.”
I sipped the champagne.
“Thank you,” I said.
“How’s Garson?” he asked Ava.
“His teething is not getting any better, and he’s had bouts of diarrhea and vomiting. I’m taking him to Dr. Ross tomorrow.”
“You’d think all the pain and trouble we have coming into this world would convince us not to,” he said. He looked at Karen. “You helping with your brother?”
“He’s got Celisse, but I help whenever I’m asked to, Grandpa.”
“Helping has more meaning when you do it before anyone asks you to,” he said.
She groaned. “Did Grandma have anything to do with making Mommy? She’s more like your clone, or what’s that character who popped out of Zeus’s head?” she asked, looking to me. “My class just learned about it in literature class.”
“Athena,” I said. “She became his favorite child.”
“Yeah, well, Mommy never had any competition. It’s harder when you have competition.”
I stared at her. Was she referring to herself and her baby brother? Once again, I wondered what was going to happen when she learned about her parents’ intentions for me.
“How do you like our school, Saffron?” Amos Saddlebrook asked, ignoring Karen.
“It’s the nicest school I’ve ever seen. It’s beautiful. I like my teachers, too.”
“That’s good. I heard you’re an honors student.”
“I hope I’ll continue to be.”
“If you were capable of it in more unfortunate circumstances, you surely will be here. What do you favor, math? Science? Literature?”
“Math and literature, grammar.”
“Interesting combination. A little unusual, I’d think.”
“There’s a mathematical way of learning grammar,” I said. Mazy had tutored me in it.
Amos Saddlebrook’s eyes widened with what I hoped was delighted surprise.
“Can I show her the house?” Karen blurted, clearly indicating she hated our topic.
“In a minute,” her grandfather said sharply. “Let her finish her champagne. You know I don’t like people walking about the house with drinks and food in their hands.”
Karen sat back, already pouting. I was actually hoping she and I would tour the house and, while doing so, she’d say something about her early years here.
I sipped my champagne surely faster than I should.
“Having more than one interest is good. A variety will give you more opportunity in life,” Amos Saddlebrook told me. “Travel, education, books, meeting new people, is something to seek. Have your sights set on anything yet?”
“No, sir,” I said.
“She’ll probably become a teacher,” Karen offered. “She’s practically one now.”
“Oh? In what ways?”
“I think she means how I’ve helped her with her homework,” I said.
Karen looked away and sipped her Coke.
“Well, you can be grateful for that, Karen,” he said. “Your parents don’t have to pay for a personal tutor.”
She raised her eyes toward the ceiling.
“All right. You can show her the house, Karen. Leave your drinks here. Dinner will be served in ten minutes,” he said. “Tommy’s prepared some of your favorite dishes.”
Karen popped up and looked at me. “C’mon. We don’t have that much time. It’s a big place to do in ten minutes,” s
he said.
I looked at Amos Saddlebrook. His eyes were so focused on me that I was almost afraid to move. Then he gave me a slight nod, and I rose. I glanced at Daddy, who nodded slightly. He was clearly telling me this would give them the opportunity to discuss my adoption. Ava looked tense, her gaze focused on the portrait of her mother. Was there always going to be this sort of family tension? Was anyone really happy?
I followed Karen out.
“He’s usually not that nice to strangers,” she said when I caught up.
“I’m not a stranger. You’d think you would know that by now.”
“He’s never met you, so you’re a stranger,” she insisted. “Let’s look at the ballroom first. Grandpa Amos keeps only a few chairs and tables folded up in it. When I was ten, I was permitted to attend a party he had for my mother’s birthday. It was the first time I could stay for most of the party. There was a band on a small stage they put together like a puzzle.”
“Puzzle?”
“You know, sliding sections. You’re sure you’re not from some other country?”
She led me down to the end of the hall, where we went through a double-door entrance to a large room with the same wood floor. There were two large windows at the rear draped in gold silk curtains. As she had described, there were a few chairs scattered along the side and in the far right corner a pile of folding tables. Besides its size, I saw nothing exciting about it.
“I imagine when everything is set up,” I said, seeing she was expecting some sort of great reaction, “with some decorations…”
“You have to use your imagination a little. Balloons hanging from the ceiling, crepe paper everywhere, music piped from large speakers, and tables and tables of great food, cakes, and drinks. We had Grandpa’s eightieth birthday party here. Even the governor stopped by. There were congressmen and senators, and I was permitted to bring five friends. You can imagine the competition to get the invite.”
“I’m sure. Did you play in here when you were very little?” I asked. The question surprised her.
“No,” she said quickly. “I was too little to be left alone. Let’s go.”
As we walked back to the stairs, she pointed out a more formal living room, not quite as large as the study, and then the dining room. Miss Becky and Molly were still setting up the long dark-maple wood table with the large teardrop chandelier above it. There was a mirror the length of the wall on one side.
“Grandpa’s office is on the other end of the house. He has a separate entrance and parking lot for his business visitors.”
I saw that the kitchen was down on the right, just across from the dining room. We just glimpsed it as we passed by, but it looked four times the size of Ava’s.
“All the bedrooms are upstairs, three on each side of the stairway,” Karen said. “C’mon. You can look at all that later.”
I had paused to look at the art and a case that contained figurines.
“What are those?” I asked.
“Lladrós… from Spain or something. My grandmother collected them. My mother says they’re worth a lot, but who would buy them?”
She hurried up the stairs ahead of me.
“I do remember something funny,” she said when she reached the top. “This was like climbing a mountain. Grandfather still calls it ‘Karen’s Mountain.’ ”
I continued to follow her.
Everything we saw, every room, was very large, the bedrooms especially. The room she said was her mother’s had what anyone would call a small living room as part of it, differentiated with a small step down. Although the vintage furniture had never been replaced since Ava left to live where they lived now, it all looked brand-new. It was obvious that the room was looked after daily. In a strange, almost eerie way, it was as if the room was being prepared for Ava to move back into any day, in fact any moment.
“What do you call this furniture?” I asked.
Karen broke into a wide smile. She knew something I did not.
“Grandpa never stops bragging about the furniture my grandmother bought and had made. This is called American Empire. My mother’s canopy bed is called the Portsmouth Pineapple Bed. The posts are hand-carved. The wood is called tiger maple.”
“Tiger?”
“Grandpa says they make guitars out of the same wood. You’d better tell him it’s beautiful. Anything my grandmother did is beautiful or perfect.”
She paused as I looked more closely at the furniture. I sensed she had something else to say, something maybe more important to me.
“My mother thinks she’ll never live up to her mother in her father’s eyes.”
“Who said so? Did she say that?”
“I’m not really stupid, Saffron.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“I don’t need it spelled out. I won’t ever live up to my mother in her eyes, either,” she said. “It’s a family tradition to be inferior. What about you and your mother?”
“We were never in competition,” I said. Maybe we would have been, I thought, but not like this. When a family is this arrogant, they never think anyone else could compete except other family members. In this moment, I felt sorry for Karen, even sorrier than I felt for myself.
“What about your father? Didn’t he sleep in this room?”
“Sometimes. I don’t remember all the details, but he was away working a lot, and then, suddenly, when I was starting school, we moved out.”
“Were they married here? In the ballroom, maybe?”
“No, they eloped or something. Grandpa wasn’t happy about it. My mother and him, he,” she quickly corrected, “still argue about it.” She paused and then whispered, “Because they didn’t get married until a while after I was born.”
“Oh, and then—”
We heard a bell ringing.
“Dinner,” Karen said. “I’ll show you the rest of the house later.”
She started out. I looked again at the room in which Ava had grown up and that my father had shared periodically. You didn’t have to be a brain surgeon to realize Amos Saddlebrook wasn’t happy with his daughter’s romance and pregnancy. It was probably very unpleasant for her being practically imprisoned here. No wonder she wanted her own home.
I could almost believe she made Daddy marry her eventually just to get out of here. Was it love or a desire to escape? How did Daddy navigate all this? How much did my mother know? It seemed to me he was boiling a pot of lies most of the time.
Maybe it was better for me not to navigate all the mystery. Where would it lead me?
I couldn’t imagine more of the truth bringing happiness.
Mazy’s adage resonated: Ignorance is bliss. Sometimes, I thought, but for now, surely here.
It wasn’t possible to open a door or turn a page without my fingers trembling.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Almost as soon as I was seated at the long dining-room table, I knew that Daddy’s idea to legally adopt me indeed had been discussed. I felt like some pet in an animal rescue mission. If they didn’t take me, save me, I’d be forever lost. It wasn’t difficult for me to have that feeling. Amos Saddlebrook was looking at me even more intently, scrutinizing everything about me. What had been his reaction to the idea? Was I auditioning for it right now? Would he start asking me more personal questions at dinner? I looked at Daddy, hoping to get some hint, but he was lost in thought again, gazing at the ceiling, maybe to avoid looking at me. Ava showed no indication one way or the other, either. She still wore that stern, businesslike expression she had the moment she confronted her father. I didn’t sense any father-daughter warmth.
Miss Becky and Molly began to serve our salads, and as Karen had predicted, Amos Saddlebrook took a bottle of red wine out of the wine stand.
“I think we’ll permit the girls to have a little of this,” he said. “In civilized countries, young people are brought up to appreciate quality wine.”
“We’re not civilized in America?” Karen quipped.
He smiled. “There are pockets of it here and there.”
He smiled at Daddy, who immediately smiled and nodded. He resembled a puppet. Ava remained stone-cold, with just that small dip in the sides of her mouth that told me she either was unimpressed by or disagreed with what her father had said. I noticed Amos Saddlebrook didn’t even look at her to see her reaction.
“You two might as well learn the proper way to open a bottle of very good wine…”
I thought Karen’s groan was a little too loud, but her grandfather ignored it and continued his instruction, mainly, it seemed, for me.
“Always wipe the outside lip, insert the corkscrew gently into the center, being careful not to go all the way through. Particles of cork might fall into the wine.”
“And poison us?” Karen asked.
“No. Of course not. But the effect is ruined. Again, turn slowly, and steadily ease the cork from the bottle. Wipe the inside and outside of the lip once more.”
“We could all go on social security by the time we get a sip,” Karen said.
Her grandfather froze. I looked at Ava and suddenly saw something very new. She was actually smiling at something Karen had said. I turned to Daddy, who was looking angry. Before he could speak, Amos Saddlebrook looked at Karen sternly and said, “That’s inconsiderate, Karen. Saffron’s not had the experience of drinking good wine and drinking it properly.”
“Yes, she has. She told me she knew how to check its color, its smell, and the taste. Right, Saffron?”
I thought I could hear thunder rolling through the great house. I glanced quickly at Daddy and at Amos Saddlebrook, but it was Ava who suddenly looked more interested.
“Why did the matter even come up for discussion?” she asked.
Karen looked suddenly terrified. Would I reveal she had snuck wine before we had left, and this after the disastrous Toby party?
“I was just telling her about some of the places my mother worked,” I said. It seemed I’d be covering for my half sister my whole life. “For a while, my mother worked in a very classy restaurant and told me what she had to go through when someone ordered a very expensive bottle of wine. She had to be trained in how to open and pour it. She said it was like handling liquid gold.”
Out of the Rain Page 20
