“I’ve got another customer. I hope I get the chance to see you before you leave.”
“Sure.” Whatever.
He turned and sauntered off to the end of the bar to take care of a new arrival, and Robert let out a sigh of relief. He wasn’t sure how he would turn the guy down if he had been interested. The guy was cute enough, but it wasn’t like Robert would have taken him back to his place. He didn’t do casual sex, and even if he did, it wouldn’t be at the shelter.
When nature came knocking on his bladder, Robert decided it was time to call it a night. While he was grateful for what Noel had offered, it had been awkward at best, and probably not something that would be repeated anytime soon.
He wondered what Noel would say when he got back at a little after ten. For as much as Robert appreciated how Noel pushed him out of his comfort zone, Robert still yearned to be home.
He drained the remainder of his beer, then placed the bottle back on the bar. He fished a five out of his pocket and put it beside the empty. He realized the bartender hadn’t charged him for his last drink, so added another five to it. He turned and looked around for the bathroom. He was ready to get out of the bar and back to where he was most comfortable.
How pathetic am I that I’m not comfortable talking to people unless they’re bringing their problems to me? Tell me you don’t have a place to spend the night, and I’m your guy. Tell me you haven’t eaten in a couple days, and I’ll get you fed. Got a baby that needs changing? Sure, no problem. Put yourself out there for a guy who’s interested? Oh, hell no.
“Leaving already?”
The bartender was back, but Robert was sure he saw relief on the man’s face.
“Yeah, I have an early morning tomorrow. Need to make breakfast for a couple hundred people.”
Why should he try to be someone he wasn’t? The guy wasn’t interested, and truth to tell, Robert wasn’t either. He was, however, surprised when the man stuck out his hand.
“Well, it was good to meet you. My name’s Jason. I hope you’ll get back in to visit us again.”
Robert was perplexed. Maybe he’d read the signs wrong. It wouldn’t surprise him at all. He had always sucked at social interaction that didn’t take place in front of the camera or when he was being interviewed. Put him on stage, and he could sell ice to the Eskimos. But expect him to make small talk? Hardly. If it wasn’t about the shelter or his people, Robert was tongue-tied.
He gripped Jason’s hand and gave it a shake. “Robert. Good to meet you.”
“Same here. Hope you have a great night.” He cleaned where Robert had been sitting, put the money in the register, then turned and waved at someone who called his name.
No small bit of shame washed over Robert as he realized how he’d misjudged Jason. While Jason’s back was turned, Robert pulled out his wallet and took a twenty from inside and put it down for Jason. He really shouldn’t be spending the money, especially with the bills coming due, but he hoped the tip would assuage his own guilt at his less-than-charitable thoughts.
Now, however, his bladder was screaming at him to pay attention, so Robert headed down the hall to the gents.
When he was done, he washed his hands and took a good look at himself in the mirror. He’d celebrated his forty-first birthday not long ago, but he thought he still looked younger. Maybe not. He wasn’t sure. He didn’t think he looked too bad, though.
He sighed. Noel had found himself someone who made him happy. He had a job that fulfilled him. He made friends, built himself a family, and God help him, Robert was a little bit envious. He knew Noel would never take it for granted, though. Having lost everything once, he was sure to hold on tight to this.
The familiar ache settled into Robert’s chest once more. His brother was married, and even though Brian was sick, Tom was happy being with him. Just seeing the two of them together would make even a hard-core homophobe question their stupidity. Tom doted on Brian, and Brian never gazed at Tom with anything less than ardent affection. Throw their parents into the mix, and everyone around Robert was happy and blissfully content with their lives.
And Robert had always been too, but lately? Noel had asked him what he wanted for himself, and Robert thought his answer was good: A lover who understood that sometimes he wouldn’t always be Robert’s first priority.
That man didn’t exist, and Robert knew that from experience. How many people had he lost from his life who complained he didn’t have time for them? Matt? Jonah? Eli? All of them had spoken the L word, but Robert hadn’t been able to return it, because he knew what they had wouldn’t—couldn’t—last. They weren’t necessarily needy, but when things came up that they wanted Robert to attend, he’d begged off. Be it a concert or movie or dinner with the family, Robert simply couldn’t walk away from the shelter.
And that had cost him dearly.
No, it was easier to be alone. Smarter too. No hurt feelings to soothe over, no it’s-me-not-you speeches. None of that. Just his work, and that would have to be enough.
ANDY POUTED when they got out of the cab in front of the bar. “This isn’t where I thought we’d be going. Even if it’s Sunday, Kruz has a drink special going on. There’s going to be guys all over in there.”
“You can go if you want. I’m just here for a break.” And God, he needed one. Olivia’s words kept rolling through his head, and though they weren’t a surprise by any means, Galen had wondered how many other people noticed the way his father treated him. “If you want to go to the club, go ahead. We’ll catch up later.”
Andy’s lip continued to jut out. He’d well earned the drama queen nickname. “No, I’ll come in with you. But next time we go out somewhere there’s action, agreed?”
“Sure. Next time we go out, we’ll hit Kruz or something.”
That perked Andy straight up. “Great. Let’s go in and get our drink on.”
When they walked into This Is It!, Galen sighed. No loud music, no gyrating twinks. Just a nice, solid-looking crowd. He nodded at Jason, who gave him a smile, and then pointed to a table set in the back. Jason dipped his chin in affirmation.
“We’re sitting in the back?”
Well, it didn’t take Andy long to get to pouting again.
“You can people watch. Maybe you’ll meet someone you can take home with you.”
Andy scanned the room, then turned back to Galen with a scowl on his face. “Yeah, no, thanks.”
Doing his best to bite back a retort, Galen took a seat, with Andy taking the one across from him. Jason came over with two beers and put them down in front of them.
“Thanks, Jase. How’s it going tonight?”
Jason shrugged. “Not bad for a Sunday, but wish we had more. It’ll pick up in a while, though, so think of this as the calm before the storm.” He glanced down the hall where the bathrooms were located. “Had a new guy come in a while ago. He’s sexy as fuck. Dark hair that looks messy even when it’s not, big brown eyes, and the best part? I don’t think he realizes how hot he is.”
Andy rolled his eyes. “Surprised you didn’t follow him into the bathroom.”
“If there was another guy here, I might have been tempted. He seems like he’s a decent guy too. Runs a homeless shelter downtown.”
As soon as the words left Jason’s lips, Galen stiffened. “He what?”
“Yeah, that’s what I said. I admit, I didn’t think a guy who looked like a more cuddly version of Harry Judd from McFly would be working with homeless people, but I think it’s awesome.”
Galen lurched up out of his seat. He needed to get the hell out of the bar if Robert Kotke was here. “I gotta go. Andy will pay for our drinks.”
“We just got here. Where are you going?”
Fear raced through Galen’s veins. He rushed for the door, needing to get far, far away from the bar, but just as he made it to the exit, a familiar voice called out.
“Why, Mr. Merriweather, I didn’t expect to see you here.”
Galen froze in his track
s. This couldn’t be happening. He’d been so damned careful his whole life, and now it had all gone down the toilet because someone he’d taken money from had found him in a fucking gay bar. He turned and found Robert standing there, a wide grin on his face, and Galen knew he was royally fucked.
“How much?”
Robert’s face scrunched up. “Excuse me?”
“How much do you want to keep your mouth shut about seeing me? I can wire five thousand to your bank right now.”
“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“How much fucking money do you want? It’s not a difficult question!”
At the bar, eyes turned in their direction, but Galen couldn’t help himself. He was about to be outed by this man if he couldn’t keep a lid on it.
“I don’t want your money, Mr. Merriweather.”
“Bullshit. I took back the check, and now you’re in a perfect position to get even with me for that.”
Robert stepped closer and leaned in. “Mr. Merriweather, I don’t know what life is like for you, but most people are pretty decent at the core. I get that you don’t know me, but I can assure you that I have no intention of telling anyone that I saw you here.”
The news rocked Galen. “Why?”
Robert smiled. “Because I have no reason to. You could be here with friends showing support. You could be here because you’re staying nearby and wanted a drink. You might even be here because you’re gay but in the closet about it. Regardless of why you’re here, I have no desire to out you, no matter what you seem to think. Like I told you before, I fully expected someone to come for that check. It happened to be you, and I hold no grudge or animosity toward you for doing your job.” He pulled out his phone. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a shelter to run. I hope you enjoy your night.”
And with those words, Robert stepped out the door and into the night.
“Ooh, he was hot. Who was that?”
Galen ignored Andy as he continued to stare at the door Robert had left from. Could he have been serious? He had leverage over Galen, and Galen hated that fact. But he’d seemed so genuine when he’d said he had no intention of telling people they’d seen each other.
“I have to go, Andy. Give me a call next week and we’ll see what we can do, okay?”
“But….”
“Look at it this way—now you can go out and find someone for a quickie before bed.”
At the moment Galen didn’t care what Andy did; he just needed to do it elsewhere. He rushed out the door, looking around for Robert. He was heading down an alley near the Pfister, and Galen hurried after him. He didn’t know why, but he needed to find out more about this irritating man.
“Mr. Kotke!”
Robert stopped and turned around. “Mr. Merriweather. What can I do for you?”
“I… I wanted to know….” Galen reached up and rubbed a hand over his chest. “Were you serious?”
A soft chuckle. “In regard to what, Mr. Merriweather? I’m rarely not serious, you see, but I have been known to tell a joke now and again. Of course, they always tell me they’re not funny. For example, and stop me if you’ve heard this, if you see a robbery at an Apple store does that make you an iWitness?”
Robert grinned at Galen, and Galen’s confusion got even more pronounced. Why wasn’t this man ranting at him? Why wouldn’t he blame him for taking back the check? Who was this guy?
“Okay, so maybe my jokes aren’t funny.” Robert shrugged. “Was there something you wanted, Mr. Merriweather?”
“I…. Could you call me Galen, please?” It seemed stupid to keep having him say Mr. Merriweather. That was his father, and right now Galen didn’t want to think about him.
“Only if you call me Robert. Not Rob, not Bob, but Robert. Please.”
“Okay.”
“Was there something you needed, Galen? I have to get back. Noel’s doing dinner service tonight, and I don’t want to keep him there too long.”
“Noel?”
“Yes, Noel. The man who gave me the check.”
This whole conversation was so surreal. Of course he knew Noel. Galen should have remembered that. But Robert Kotke was nothing like Galen had expected.
“Could I…. Maybe we could….”
Why was this so hard?
Maybe because you took a check that could have fed a lot of people? Or perhaps it’s because you fully expected Robert to be a dick like you are? Whatever it is, he’s waiting. So what is it, Galen? What do you want?
“Coffee. Could I…. Can I buy you a cup of coffee? Or maybe we can go get something to eat?” Galen tried to figure out a place they could go. He normally didn’t frequent this side of town, but the bars in this area were probably less likely to be on his father’s radar.
“Do you like chili?”
Had Galen ever had chili? He wasn’t even sure the cook had a recipe for it. “To be honest, I’m not sure.”
Robert clucked his tongue. “Come along, my boy. We’re about to give you a crash course in how the other 99 percent lives.” He gestured for Galen to follow as they headed back the way they had come from. “And by the way, I’m sure this goes without saying, but you’re buying.”
Robert laughed, and for once, Galen wasn’t offended.
Chapter Six
“SO WHAT do you think of it?”
Galen scooped the last bit of chili into his mouth. “This is amazing.”
Robert held up the basket of rolls. “Take the last one and use it to get the sauce in the bottom.”
A dubious stare was his answer.
“Trust me. You’ll like it.”
Galen took the offered piece and did as Robert suggested, running it along the bottom to sop up all the remaining tomato sauce, cheese, and meat. His eyes went wide and he happily hummed when he stuffed it in his mouth. Galen was like a kid in a candy store, eating things he’d always thought off-limits to them.
The clock on the wall said Real Chili would be closing soon, and Robert really did need to get back to the shelter, but he was having a surprisingly good time with Galen. From the moment he met the antagonistic man, Robert was certain he wouldn’t ever want to be alone in a room with him, but when he wasn’t working, Galen was much more subdued. Or maybe it was the company.
“Can I ask you a question?”
Robert wondered how long it would be before he did. “Sure, go ahead.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Well, I’ll tell you. My father once told me that if I expected to make it in this world, I had to learn how to treat people with respect, especially if I wanted them to treat me the same way. Does it always work? No, of course not, but that doesn’t stop me from trying. And believe it or not, you’re not a hard person to be nice to, once you let down your hair a little.”
Galen seemed to be mulling over what Robert had said. “My father would say you’re crazy. People only exist if they can do something for you.”
“And is that what you think?”
Galen dropped his gaze to the table. “I always thought I was cut from the same cloth as him.”
“And now you doubt that?”
A deep sigh. Galen reached out and picked up his soda. He wasn’t really drinking, but Robert guessed he was using it as a defense mechanism.
“You don’t have to answer that, you know.”
“No, I know.” Galen blew out a breath. “My personal assistant said I was too good for my job. I didn’t understand what she meant. I’m a callous ass, driven to impress my father, but I’m starting to wonder if anything I do will impress him.”
“Okay, let me ask you something. Is it worth trying to impress someone who isn’t paying attention to you?”
Galen’s hackles went up. “What do you know about it?”
“Honestly? Nothing. My father always pays attention to me and my brother. Maybe a little too much sometimes. When Brian, my brother Tom’s husband, first met our father, Brian was terrified of him, but my dad would
n’t let him be scared. He spoke to him in a soft, soothing voice, and for a man who’s six foot six inches and wide as a mountain and has a booming voice, that’s not as easy as you might think. Each time they’d go to visit, Brian would be less and less hesitant. Now? He laughs when he comes in and my father scoops him up into a hug. That’s just the kind of man he is. My mom is the same way. She is a big nurturer. She can’t stand to see anyone hurting, and she’ll give you the shirt off her back if you need it.”
Galen sat quietly, staring into his bowl. “They sound too good to be true.”
“They’re not. It’s why Tom and I grew up with a good moral compass.”
All right, that was obviously the wrong thing to say. Galen pushed back from the table and stood, his eyes wide and his breathing ragged. “So you’re saying I don’t have a moral compass?”
Yep, he’d hit a button with that comment. “I never said any such thing, Galen. I was only talking about me and my brother. Why would you take offense at that?”
“You don’t even know me or my family. Why would you think your moral compass, as you put it, is better than mine?”
Well, Robert had really put his foot in it this time. Whatever was eating away at Galen had hooks firmly latched in him, and getting them out would be very painful, if it was even possible.
“I’m going to head out. Thank you for dinner. It was really good.” Robert paused, wondering if he should say what was on his mind, then figured the hell with it. In for a penny and all that. “If you ever want to do it again, give me a call at the shelter. I had a nice time and wouldn’t mind going out if we can find time in our busy schedules.”
He left Galen standing at the table, gaping like a fish.
FOR THE second time, Robert left Galen flummoxed. He would say something that got Galen’s dander up, and then he’d dismiss him like he was a servant or something. The desire to charge after Robert and give him no small piece of his mind tore at Galen, but why? What good would it really do? Robert had already decided what kind of person Galen was. From the fact that he was the one who took a quarter million dollars from the mouths of the people Robert had been protecting, to his behavior after, what reason had Galen given Robert to think differently?
Galen's Redemption Page 5
