by J Haney
I have to hold my side when I feel a kick to my stomach. They’ve been moving a lot, and most days it hurts.
“Just hold on, babies. I just got to find help, and we need to be somewhere safe.”
I scent the air. They’re gone, again! Looking down, I notice the water is gone again. I can do this. Climbing from the fountain, I go in search of running water. This is what I’ve been doing—landing in water. Then the water evaporates. Of course, so I’m off to search for water again. I should be thankful I was able to find a shirt large enough to cover my body. Passing a bulletin board, I spot not only Zane and Val’s face but my own.
There’s a fucking bounty on my head. You’ve got to be kidding me! Treason for crimes against the crown? The cunt has lost her fucking mind. She’s tortured me, but I’m the one committing treason. Give me a fucking break!
I take off quickly. I need to move before someone tries to catch me, and I end up back in the cave or worse. Spotting water, I make a mad dash. Thinking about Val the entire way. I know she isn’t still at the castle because I didn't return there when I got away and thought of her.
Jumping quickly into the water, I smack the ground with another big splash. Please let me find Val or Zane. Opening my eyes, I’m in a garden. Trying to stand, I lose my footing as my legs give out on me, and I hit the ground.
I can hear the clicking, the language of the Chinyoka. Oh no. I’m lifted before I see Lesser King Feyer Charind.
“Please don’t take me back there. I promise I didn’t do whatever it is she’s saying I did. Please don’t hurt me.” I cry, not able to hold on anymore.
The one that holds me looks down into my tear-filled eyes. His pupils are diminished slits until he looks down at my full belly. His head whips toward the king. Clicks and chitters, then I see the king nod.
“Shh… You are safe here. This is my King’s private garden. None are permitted except he and I.” He pushes my hair back off my soiled face as he sits me on the soft thick green grass. It’s then that I realize the two men are in mixed stages of undress.
“Say-fee,” Feyer says, his voice dragged out, and well, if you could imagine a snake speaking, that about sums it up.
My lips tremble as I can’t hold back my tears. “I didn’t do it. I-I was kidnapped. Adria has been torturing me.” I breathe through the kicking. “I don’t know how long I have. I need to find-” I stop speaking, unsure if I should say Val and Zane’s names.
More clicking from the Page. He now nods, pulling his robe further closed. “My King wishes to know where your General is. Your Lady? We were under the impression you had taken leave together. The great love between you did not go unnoticed.”
“Come.” Feyer motions for us to follow him. “Fff-ood.”
The page helps me off the ground. “I don’t know how long I’ve been gone. Zane left before me. I don’t know what happened to Valaria. They’re together, though. I’ve been tracking them. I need to find them. I don’t know how much longer I have before the babies come.” I wipe at my face. “I’m sorry for crying. It’s not been easy.”
“Let’s get you clean, fed, and checked. Okay? You may call me Ren.” As we enter the chamber, I am misted by cold water, and I sputter. He chuckles. “We get dry from the heat. I should have warned you.” He grasps a long chord at the door frame, and I hear a loud series of bells. The room is somewhat dark, but the furniture is very New American modern—lots of metal frames and big plushy pillows.
The big doors open, and a handful of beautiful women with long silky hair in various colors enter. They’re scantily clad but full of smiles.
“Battthh.” Feyer points to me.
I pull back. “Please don’t.” I wrap my arms around my stomach, protectively. “Are you going to contact my aunt? Were you helping her torture me?” I start moving away. I need space. I’ve gotten too close. Too trusting. Zane. Val. I need them. I need them now.
Ren gently touches my shoulders. “Easy, my Queen, we are loyal to the true crown, we serve the Blanca Vēsṭigara, always. Please let us make you more comfortable. Get you clean and nourished. Then we will talk of your people. None shall know you are here.”
“Saa-fee.” Feyer insists. “Gooddd- girrllss.”
I nod and go with the girls. Wary, but I need help. They lead me to a bath where they undress me and help me in. One is washing my hair while two others my body. They’re careful with all the scars, and one offers to help with them after I see Feyer. Once the bath is done, I’m dressed in what looks like a sleeping gown and robe. Then I’m led into a quiet dining area. Freyer is sitting at the table.
“Thank you for helping me,” I say after taking my seat. “I’m sorry you were lied to.”
Ren sits between Feyer and me. They are both dressed and clean. Freyer now wears loose-fitting cotton clothes with intricate details and bits of gold that bring out the golden streaks to his otherwise silver hair. Ren is dressed similarly, but unlike his king, wears no jewels or crown.
“I liikedd, your mottther,” Feyer says as the women bring out tray after tray of silver platters. “Shhh, taught Reeehhn and me.” He speaks slow and low.
“We were heartbroken from their loss, your aunt, the Lady Adria, has not been kind to us. She is a usurper and must be called out.” Ren says with passion as the food is revealed. Meats, cheeses, and fresh fruit. Pitchers of water sweat beside each of us.
“If I go back there right now, she’s going to kill me. She already tried to get my print. I wouldn’t give it to her. Her plan was to kill me and raise my babies. I escaped about a week ago and have been on the move since, portaling from place to place. I’m trying to find my guard and lady. I don’t want to do this alone, but I’m afraid I’m not going to have much of an option at this point.”
Freyer speaks his native tongue a moment before Ren translates. “We have medi-mages, trusted ones. Let us help you. If you were drawn here, then they must have passed through at least. I will quietly inquire. Your general is not easily missed for his size. Perhaps a member of our clergy tended to them.” He points to the food with his fork. “But first, you must nourish yourself and your brood.”
“Thank you for everything.” I pick up a piece of cheese before looking back at Feyer. “I will make this right. Everything. I promise you that. My father knew I could do this, and I will do right by him.”
One way or another, I have to make this right and by the power that is in me, I will, and I will succeed.
36
I stretch, opening my eyes with a long yawn. We have been in Suart Coom for nearly a week, and it truly is a paradise. One that I wish I were sharing with May. I want to continue our search, but this place has wards, and those wards seem to break our bonds. There is talk that Trajan, who has been acting regent of the land since Zane’s father passed, is preparing to resign his station and give the crown to Zane.
Zane, of course, seems not even to be bothered by the offer. Instead, he has spent every waking moment with his sister and niece. Even now, I can hear them in the courtyard. Wrapping the sheet around me, I walk to the terrace and watch him as he plays with her. I have never seen him so relaxed. I feel a lifting in his heart when he is around them.
The cramping in my belly tells me that Morena was right. I am carrying his child. The question is, what am I carrying? Is it Mechkan? Vēsṭigara? Mantigara or some strange new being? Will it come faster? Slower? Will I fall into hibernation like most women of my kind?
Each night Zane goes down to the shore, and Kinrhad helps him to commune with his father, the last king of the region. Tonight he wishes for me to join him. I’ve never spoken to a spirit before. I had heard rumors that it could be done, but I never dreamed I would do so.
A soft knock comes to my door. I turn. “Enter.” Here I am not treated like the help. I am treated like- well better than I have been treated in a long time.
“Miss Valaria.” Keirn, one of the paid attendants, enters. “I heard you stir and have drawn you a milk bath and
will bring your morning meal forthwith. Shall I help you undress?”
I chuckle. “Already there, my sweet girl.” I wave at her. “Give me a few moments and then go spend some time with your father.” I’ve spent a bit of time with the girl, and she mentioned her father was ill. I don’t want to keep her if I don’t have to.
She nods and exits. I slip off the sheet and slide into the soothing milk bath. The milk of the Inokoni, which runs free here, contains properties that are said to heighten certain abilities. I figure full submersion should do the trick.
I lean back in the large metal and stone bath. My fingers are grasping the edge with a tremble. When I realized we were not leaving, and this milk was abundant, I formed a plan. One I am now about to execute, let’s hope that is all I am executing. Carefully I tug on the large stone I asked to have brought up last night. I am strong, but this thing is dense, and it took a huge member of the staff to bring it to my chamber. Zane has been so preoccupied that he did not even notice it, which is good, as I do not want to explain it to him. Extreme times call for drastic measures. With a few deep breaths, I settle my nerves and pull the stone atop of me. Down into the warm bath, I sink.
One, two, three…
My mind wanders, and my eyes crack open. I am rushing through the space between, and my stomach does somersaults. I cramp and lose my sense of hearing. It’s as if I’ve portaled. I see the farm where Morena lives, watch as long thin fingers reach for garments. Flashes of the forests of my homeland. It’s like a highlight reel of Zane and I’s journey. Only it’s not through my eyes. The hands are bright pink and ache—my whole body aches. I am rushed through a blurry mess. I see a full rounded belly even as I feel incredible thirst and hunger.
My chest hurts. My skin burns. I feel heat and wetness. I am lifted-
“Valaria!” I hear my name being shouted, as a pair of slitted eyes come into view.
Who? No- I’m being pulled out! “May!” I shout even as I cough. The light blinds me as I hear Zane calling out to me. “No! Put me back! I saw her! I felt her! I need more time!” I scream, fighting him, trying desperately to get back in the tub.
“Val, stop! Please.” Zane holds me close to his chest as I cough up the now cold liquid. “Your heart stopped. I can’t lose you too.”
“Please…” I sob. “She’s still out there, carrying your cubs while we dilly dally around!” I shove at him and move up onto unsteady legs.
“Valaria, this is all as it should be. I promise. I know what I am doing.” Zane shouts at me.
“The great general! Thinks he knows best! You are not my father. You are supposed to be my companion, our mate! An equal, not a ruler. I cannot stay here. I need to find her. I am broken without her. Don’t you feel her absence at all?” Soaked and naked, I demand his attention.
“Yes, of course.” He scrambles along the floor to my feet, a rather impressive act for a man of his size. “Every day, I wake with pain in my heart. Yet, since we have come here, I feel it lessen, not because of those around us, but because I believe she is near. I felt something a while ago but was afraid to speak of it. I felt her, felt her freedom cry. We stay put because it is what has been seen. Adria has soldiers and mercenaries looking for all of us. But here we are hidden, we are safe, and if Maya has truly escaped, then I have hope. Hope that she will be reunited with us. I need you to hope too.” He wraps his arms around me. Pressing his stubbled face against my belly, he kisses it softly.
“I love you, and I trust you. Please have trust in me.” He begs.
My hands go into his regrowing hair as I sigh. “How can you be so sure you are doing the right things?” I whisper, swallowing the sob in my throat.
“My father told me so. Valaria, the dead do not lie; there is nothing to be gained from it.”
“Perhaps, but then what gain is there in the truth?”
37
I wake screaming in excruciating pain. For a moment, I think it’s time for the babies. Instead, it’s my chest that hurts. The door bursts open with a couple of the girls running in quickly with Ren and Freyer not far behind.
“Are you okay? Is it time?” One of the girls asks.
Rubbing my chest, I look up. “It’s Valaria. Something’s happened.” Tears streak my face as I sniff. “I don’t understand.” I reach up and rub my shoulder, where she marked me. “I need to find them. I need to find them now.”
“Easy,” Ren says in a soothing tone, handing me a small jar. “Rub this on your marking. It will reveal the nature of your claiming. You are linked?” He finishes with the question.
“I never claimed them. I was going to, but I didn’t have my Tiger yet. What’s this going to do?” I ask, rubbing the cream where Val bit me before doing the same for Zane’s bite.
“You said you had pain. If life is lost, the bite sears and then quickly fades. The salve brings what is unseen to the surface. If the mark is there, then your mate’s heart still beats.” His brow furrows as he reaches out toward Valaria’s mark. “One is Mechkan? And the other… Something... Else?” He looks to Freyer with surprise before the clicking and hissing start again.
“Would you at least speak so I can understand you? Zane’s a Mantigara. I thought it was made up.”
Nods. “I am sorry, we know these types of marks but did not wish to alarm you if you did not know his true nature. Many Mantigara hide, pretend to be another. Some pretend to be Vēsṭigara, while others more aggressively appear to be Chinyoka halflings.” Ren says swiftly. “They live in a small community several days away. It’s near to impossible to penetrate, but…” He looks down at my hard and swollen belly. “Maybe.”
Freyer nods. “Conectssshon.”
“Is there water? I can probably portal. I don’t know if I can take people with me, but maybe.” I start to get off the bed. “I want to go. I need to find them.”
“Please, stop.” Xian, the medi-mage that has looked me over since I arrived, grasps my hand. “I know you need your mates, but you must think of the lives you carry. Portaling puts a strain on the body, especially the body of the conjuror. It may not be safe. It could bring them on or end their little lives before they have even had their first breaths. You do not have the benefit of the shell. You are Vēsṭigara. Your womb is more fragile- in this form.”
“So, I’m just to wait? Wait and see if they find me? I’ve been kidnapped, tortured, and alone. I just want to be held and loved. I don’t want to go through this alone. I don’t want to have these babies alone.” I put my face in my hands and cry.
I feel hands touching me softly. Little clicks and coos. They are trying to console me, but it just makes me feel even more isolated. I curl into myself, sobbing. One by one, the nurturing hands leave, until there is only one rubbing my back gently. I can tell from the earthy scent that is King Freyer himself. He’s humming in a low tone as I hear the door to my chamber close again.
My body shifts as his hands slip under me before I can react. I’m lifted from the bed. “Sshh. Fffountaain fffilled.” One hand holds me up as the other gently touches my belly. I feel warmth and see a soft pink glow begin to emit from under my nightgown. “Saaffee.”
“Thank you, thank you.” I hug him because I’m not sure what else to do.
He smiles and nods, grasping my hand, helping me into the fountain. As he releases my hand, I see he’s given me a signet ring. “Ifff you neeed usss.”
“I’ll be back. We need to gather resources somehow. If you know any that will stand with us, gather them. Bring them to you. I’ll come back here, and we can rally together. Thank you, Freyer.” I kiss his cheek, close my eyes, and think of my loves. My mates.
In a poof, I’m standing in water up to my waist. It’s midday, and people are gathered about. I’m being watched as I descend upon the beach. When I’m far enough into the sand that I know the water won’t carry me away, I sit down. I have to. The babies are beating me to death again. Breathing through the pain, my heart leaps when I catch Zane’s scent. They have
to be close. I’ve never had it this strong.
“Just a little longer, babies. We can do this.”
I stand and start walking. I can feel eyes on me, but I don’t care. I need to find Zane and Val. I need them now. I stop when I see him. It’s from the back, but I’d know that ass anywhere.
“Zane,” I call out his name but not very loud, so I try again. “Zane!”
His movements cease, and his head tilts slightly, then his body turns. The movement is deliberate and agonizingly slow. It’s then that I see a tall thin woman in front of him, her belly as swollen as mine.
My steps falter as she looks at me. What is this? My lip quivers as I turn away. Val. I need Val.
“May!” I hear her scream my name, turning back I see her at the top of the dunes. Zane is moving toward me with huge steps.
I go to take a step but cry out instead. Okay, so Xian was right. I grab my belly as I drop to my knees. Zane is on me in seconds. I’m trying to breathe through the pain as he looks at me.
“My-” He stops, and I’m up in his strong arms. Even as the pain hits me, I cannot deny the kiss that crushes against my lips.
I squeeze his shoulder as pain rips through me again. “This is all your fault.” I cry. “They’ve been trying to come for days.” I bite my lip as another pain rips through me.
I feel Val before I see her. “May I didn’t- Fuck, Zane, I think she’s bleeding.”
“My love, did you feel a bit of pressure just now?” Zane asks, nuzzling against me.
“That’s all I’ve felt for days.” My head falls back as I grab Val’s hand and Zane’s arm and squeeze again. “I can’t do this. It hurts too bad.” I say when the pain relents some.
“I’m sorry,” Zane says, cradling me. “Lucretia, a little help?” He hollers as we are on the move. “My sister can help.” He says, huffing through the sand.
