by Diana Scott
— Daughter, I am too old — Dona Felisa said sadly.
— We can all do something according to our abilities. The important thing is that we do it together— Carmen answered taking her by the hand.
— Could you help me on the radio? She is an innate sorceress— Paulo commented for sure.
Everyone laughed and began to give ideas.
By the end of the night they had organized, a group of night patrols to prevent the so—called accidents. Paulo would speak with her friends in the press to be heard through the media, and she would use her computer skills to make her claims reach the entire continent. Government agencies, environmental organizations, international organizations, all would know of the disaster that would occur in the Morro de Sao Caetano if the hotel chain Thompson was installed there, with its immense infrastructure.
The inhabitants left happy and enthusiastic to their homes. They already had a way to fight.
Carmen tried to sleep but could not sleep.
I was happy, I knew that together they could save that beautiful place and its inhabitants. The dolphins, the turtles and the reefs, they would be safe, of that she was sure, so why could not she stop feeling like that?
Alone, empty... ever since I knew him, his world moved along a narrow ledge and it seemed that at any moment he would collapse to an endless precipice. Everything was reversed since Lucas entered his life.
But how could I avoid it? He had tried everything, tried to ignore his feelings, fled from his side and even put more than seven thousand kilometers away but fate was determined to join them again and again.
Carmen walked to the beach and sat on the floor facing the sea. I needed to think, think about his life and organize. She was very organized, everything was perfectly controlled, even her weekend getaways fit as planned, but now everything was different.
His mind asked him to go on as before but his body claimed that man and no other.
«It would be so bad to let yourself be loved. Is it possible that he did not hurt her?
No, that was impossible.
If you surrender, sooner or later, you are hurt. Nothing is forever.
— If you keep frowning like that, you'll be wrinkled like a raisin.
— Of all the people who could appear...
— For my defense I can answer, that I was before but you were so focused on your thoughts that you have not seen me. Can I? — Lucas pointed to a place next to him on the sand.
— And why not? After all... — "I thought of you" that he kept for her.
— You've been magnificent tonight.
Carmen grimaced at not believing him.
— What do you mean?
— To the meeting with the villagers. You have directed these people with a clear objective. You have not scared yourself, you have been clear, direct, with clean strategies. Anyone in your place, would take off so as not to return, but you are here, risking your own life for people you did not know a month ago.
— This place is wonderful, I cannot abandon them. Do you think I'm in danger, that's why the colonel sent you?
Lucas scratched his nervous neck.
— I'm not on an official mission.
— What does that mean?
— Spain has no jurisdiction, no reason to be here. I 'm on my own.
— How a vacation?
— Something like that. They suspended me for a month.
— Suspended, but what have you done?
— It seems that I took a few extra drinks and fought with bikers and broke some things in a bar— I was embarrassed.
Carmen looked at him surprised.
— A few little things, but if you do not drink!
— That day, yes.
— What a day?
— It does not matter — Lucas drew in the sand with a stick.
— Tell me, what day? — He tightened his arm fondly
— Now you know.
Lucas looked into her eyes and Carmen did not need an answer. The day I left... for the second time »
— I'm sorry.
— It's not your fault. My decisions and my nonsense are only mine.
— But in spite of everything you are here... — his voice was barely heard
— I would not stand to know that you are in danger and not take care of yourself.
Carmen lowered her head to hide the tears that were spilling silently down her cheek. Lucas hugged her and she tensed, he tenderly caressed her back to feel as she loosen in his arms.
— S h h, do not cry beautiful.
Carmen raised her face to look him in the eye.
— Are you really like that?
— With you, yes.
— Why?
— Why, what? Why I like you, why do I need you, why do I travel to Brazil to take care of you, why do you make me so crazy that I cannot think, why do I want you in my life? — Lucas took a deep breath— Let's see, maybe because I'm able to see what you do not see, I still value you more than you do yourself. I do not know what idiot has done you so much damage, but I would like to have the ability to go back in time so that nobody ever hurts you. I would like to meet that stupid man and break his face until he is dragged along the floors.
Carmen smiled excitedly as she wiped her cheeks.
— Only you can mix such beautiful feelings with a broken face.
Never a man had said such heartfelt words to him. She had had sex and she felt like a woman capable of attracting the man she wanted, but this was different. Lucas spoke with his heart and not with his crotch, as old love affairs had done. At one point she felt transported and thought she was sixteen, short and chubby waiting for Richard once more.
Lucas thought that there would never be a better time than that one. He pressed her against his chest and begged.
— I need you to trust me, I want to know what it is that prevents you from continuing.
Carmen took a deep breath, he deserved the truth. He released himself carefully from Lucas's arms and looked at the sea as if it were a cinema in which he could see his youthful years reflected in the crystalline waves.
— I was about sixteen years old, I was in high school and it was pretty ugly, so to deny it — Lucas growled angrily and she adored him for that — it took longer than usual to hit the happy stretch but my curves were there, important hips, big breasts for the age, in addition to an acne that was struggling to stay...
Lucas was breathing deeply. I wanted to tell her that she was wonderful, that her curves were the precious expression of her femininity and that those breasts of his would drive the Pope very mad, but she bit her tongue to not interrupt. He had waited a long time for her to open up and show her fears and she was doing it.
— In the studies I did not do badly, I was good at maths and all science subjects, but you know, people approach the plump little one only when they need you, I knew it but I wanted to be like the others, I wanted to have friends, I wanted to feel attractive, I wanted to fall in love, I dreamed of being the protagonist of a romantic novel... then one day Richard noticed me. He approached me, supposedly without any hidden interest. He began to talk to me as he would any of the tarts that died for him. He was so handsome that I let myself be duped. Like a fool I believed each and every one of his lies.
Carmen remembered everything as if it were yesterday.
— I should have been smarter, I should have realized...
— What happened? — Lucas was choking, just thinking that someone had hurt his girl, even though it was years ago, made him want to break his face into pieces.
— It happened that like a fool, I let myself be wrapped in its web of lies. At first he showed interest in me, in theory he liked my way of being, or so he said. I surrendered to his arms and let him go... my first man.
Carmen ducked her head as if after eight years she was still ashamed of her mistake.
Lucas clenched his fists. This was very difficult. To hear her speak and suffer for another, to imagine her in her arms
was unbearable. But I would resist it for her.
— Love, did it hurt you?
— Physically no, but it was... how to explain, fast, unprepared, not counting my fears of the first time, as if he wanted to get rid of a procedure that he had to fulfill. I cried thinking that I was a fool for giving myself away, but later I wanted to convince myself that relationships were like that.
My father had abandoned us years ago and never appeared again... and it was my father, then because I was going to pretend to Richard something else. Relationships are like that and that's it.
Carmen sighed deeply.
— We saw each other when he wanted to and when he said it... but in times of exams he became more affectionate than usual, of course I realize that now. I entered the university and I was so lucky, that he studied computer science just like me, therefore the thing continued after high school.
In the last year, I hit a three—inch squeeze, with Azul we signed up for healthy living, sports and acne treatments — for the first time he smiled with amusement — I noticed that the boys were attracted to me, but I was too involved with Richard and my self—esteem I was on the floor to accept myself as a pretty girl.
— When did it all end? — Lucas wanted to finish the story, he could not bear to see her suffer for another man even if it was just a stupid memory.
— One day I went to take the notes to his house. He was supposed to be sick and I wanted to surprise him — he looked at the sea and he lowered his head, still ashamed — you can imagine, he not only deceived me, but he was also outraged by my supposed persecution.
— Asshole — Lucas snorted, throwing sparks
— The truth is that I was not very smart, two years of high school and two years of college. I think I was a little stupid, too, but he's not going to go back to... "Carmen stopped talking when she realized what she was about to say.
Lucas tensed to see how her heart returned to be locked in a layer of cold and impenetrable steel.
— I'm not him, nor is your father. I risk my life because I believe in people and I admire justice, I would never betray your feelings.
Lucas approached and dried with his rough hand the tears that Carmen tried to hide behind his hair.
She lifted her face and felt a wave of heat and fear at the same time, which made her tremble like a kitten abandoned by her mother.
— I want to, but it's so difficult— Lucas covered her lips with two of his wide fingers and did not let her continue.
— I'm not going to press you, not anymore, in Madrid I behaved like an idiot and I pressured you to trust me, but I do not intend to do it again.
— That means you do not care anymore— her voice was disappointed
Lucas lifted his chin and kissed his cheek carefully
— That means, that I care so much, that you have to be the one that comes to me. By your own means, without fears, without backpacks, I want you free of Richard or any other. I do not want that idiot in our lives.
Carmen felt cornered. There she was as always, Lucas giving everything and she being a complete egoist incapable of assuming a past that no longer existed.
Carmen got up angry, but with herself and the situation with the innocent Lucas.
His golden hair flew with the force of his rage and Lucas had to use all his strength to not rush and tear the clothes right there. When she got so temperamental she made her blood boil for her, she was dying to absorb his strength with her kisses and take her to the limits of passion.
He longed for it to hurt physically, but she had a thorn in it and only she was able to remove it. He wanted to be the medicine that Carmen needed but the first step could not be given by anyone other than her. Many years in the special forces living the danger and understanding the pain, they had taught him that lesson.
— Why do you always ask me to change? If you loved me you would accept me as I am. I can not be who you want...
Lucas got up trying to look relaxed although inside it was a storm of feelings.
— And I love you as beautiful and untamable as you are, the problem is that it is you who does not love me as I am.
Lucas reached out and took her by the waist. He knew he should not touch her, he had to give her room to react, but it was too difficult having her so close and so hot.
Carmen looked at him perplexed and Lucas continued.
— You insist on comparing me with those prototypes of stupid men with what you have found in your life, without really seeing who I am and how I am.
— You're not a saint either— Carmen babbled with a tinkle.
— And I do not deny it — his eyes shone with love at the jealousy of her — many passed by my bed, I admit it, but it is one I love forever, in my bed, on my sofa, my carpet, my home and in my life.
Lucas held her in his arms and pressed his mouth to her neck. Carmen tried to push him away but he pressed her against his strong pectorals.
He caressed her with such tenderness that Carmen felt herself flying and decided to act. She wanted to be with him and he would accept her terms. A few kisses and he would forget those hoaxes of confidence and enjoy the moment as she wanted.
Carmen wanted her passion but she was not ready for something stronger.
With determination he rose on tiptoe and his arms crossed around the neck of his favorite fighter. He brought his lips to the beard of a day that began to scrape but that she adored and began to give small bites.
His kisses mingled with gentle strokes down his torso down to his navel.
Lucas was trembling with desire and he could feel his member swell up against his thighs. Carmen rubbed against her body and could hear her moans of a woman's desire. She kissed him by the naked torso until he got to the nut and gave him a small bite. Unable to contain himself, he squeezed her bottom to stick to her body and enjoy her caresses, when she sweetly whispered in his ear.
— Let's go to my bed— his voice was a siren song.
Lucas tensed when he heard her and she could feel him slowly moving her away from his body.
— But... but what's wrong with you!
— If I wanted sex, I would not bother looking for it that far.
— Grrr— Carmen growled like a posesa.
— You can know why you're not like everyone, why do not we enjoy the moment and that's it! God you are... you are.
Lucas roared for the first time. His calm was over.
— I'm a man. I know what I want— Lucas roared angrily— I know what it feels like to have you in your life and I'm not content with less. When you left I felt like shit, shattered and I'm not going to feel that way again. I want you complete or nothing. I want your body, your heart and your confidence and I do not plan to settle for less. If this is not the case, it will be better for each one to follow his path.
Lucas was screaming furiously. I was beside myself. I loved her and for that reason I could not accept her crumbs.
So much patience, so much listening, they had taken him to the limit of his control, that in addition to seeing her offer herself as if they were two strangers wanting to satisfy her unbridled sex. He felt consumed with rage.
That happy woman insisted on not seeing what their bodies and hearts wished with madness. This was more than sex and that big head was blind like moles.
Carmen also screamed, is angry and excited. His body was burning to have Lucas inside but that foolish pure muscle insisted on trust. Because they do not give each other pleasure and let time decide.
— I hate you! — Carmen growled angry and dissatisfied.
Lucas looked into her eyes and knew he was in a mess. I loved her. He adored her. Happy or angry, she was the only one for him.
Without realizing it, he spoke in Portuguese.
— Você fascinates me, because você só existm na minha vida, você is mimicked by mim, because minha vida é vazia sem você, você feed me, because você vive sozinho... você cativeiro because eu só posso olhar para você
— And th
at means! Now you speak to me in Portuguese. If you want to insult me, do it in a language that understands you.
Lucas had managed to calm down.
— It was not an insult.
— Well, you're slow to translate it.
— I'll do it when you're ready.
— God, I can not stand you! — Carmen pushed him furious and went to the inn mad with rage and hot, very hot.
"I'm sorry, my love, but I'm doing it for both of us." Lucas was nervous, he could be pushing her too hard. She had confided her fears to him and he confronted her even more to acknowledge her fears. Lucas felt real fear, he could lose her.
— You have done well.
Lucas turned surprised to hear the voice of Carlos.
— First shift of guard— he said raising his shoulders to excuse himself for listening.
— I hope so— Lucas felt devastated. I wanted to run and hug her. To tell him that he also wanted her and was dying to enter her body...
— You're in love— Carlos affirmed.
— Like a fool.
— That you already were before, do not blame the poor girl— Carlos patted the back of his friend— give him time, he needs it.
— And what I need? — Lucas looked at the posed where she had disappeared.
— I'm afraid that for that you should settle for a cold shower— Carlos laughed sympathetically— now Romeo, come with me to the round, I have news.
— Romeo? You know my aim is ten out of ten at the center, right?
— Less sniper bravado with me and listen to what I'm going to tell you.
Both left by the path that bordered the beach leaving behind an angry and hot Carmen.
«I hate him. I can not stand it »Carmen kept grumbling as she tore off her shirt.
— Who you think you are... why you have to demand nothing from me. Yes, I like it, yes I want it, but if with that he thinks that he will have me eating from his hand, he is very wrong... Grrrr.
Carmen growled as she took off her shorts with legs. She was outraged, angry and desperate. Being in Lucas's arms, feeling his warmth, noticing his strong body against his was too much for a young, healthy and very alive woman.
