by Quinn Loftis
Finally, she looked at Sally and then Jen. “I think you’re right. We should have a Christmas that celebrates everything we’ve missed.”
“Excellent,” Jen said.
Jacque held up a hand. “But,” she added quickly, “I have a couple of stipulations.”
“Ugh.” Jen flopped back onto the couch. “Stipulations usually mean fun killers.”
“We have one night where the entire pack celebrates, but on Christmas Eve, it’s just our group, those of us who’ve been through it all together.”
“I think that’s a great idea,” Sally said.
Jen pursed her lips and seemed to think about it before begrudgingly nodding. “I can deal with that.”
“All right then.” Jacque smiled. “Operation AGWCAEIB is in effect.”
Jen’s lips twitched. “Are you just trying to get on my good side by using my lingo?”
Jacque shrugged. “I wanted a smile, and I got half of one. So, I’d say it was pretty successful.”
“Go ahead, enlighten me. What is operation AGWCAEIB?” Sally asked.
“Operation A Grey Wolves Christmas And Everything In Between.”
“Nice,” Jen said with a nod.
“How do you think the guys will feel about it?” Sally asked.
“I think they’re going to be singing “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas” while they frolic about tossing silver tinsel onto the trees.”
“Is that some weird fantasy you have?” Jacque asked, thankful to have a somewhat normal Jen back to distract her.
“I didn’t say they were going to be wearing Christmas Speedos,” Jen answered with an eye roll.
“And who's going to get the guys to frolic with tinsel?” Sally asked.
Jen pointed to the kids on the floor. “The big bad wolves turn to little puppies when any of those little fur balls whimper.”
Jacque smirked. Jen wasn’t wrong.
It was going to be an interesting Christmas. The only thing that would make it better was if Vasile and Alina were there to enjoy it with them.
Chapter 1
“Nothing is as it seems. If you think someone is on your side, assume they are not. If you think someone is your enemy, leave room for the possibility that they are your ally.” ~Lilly, Warlock Queen
Summer 1991
Lilly stared down into the green eyes of the man with whom she was madly in love. His head rested in her lap as he lay on his back gazing up at her. Her fingers ran through his wavy, auburn hair. She heard a rumble come from his throat. It was something she’d noticed he did when he was content, and she’d also noticed that it wasn’t a sound a human should be able to make. There was something other about Dillon Jacobs, but she hadn’t brought herself to ask about it because she didn’t want to sound crazy.
She wasn’t a stranger to things that weren’t quite normal. Lilly had known from a young age that she wasn’t quite right. It began when she was six years old and living in a girls’ home. The home wasn’t a horrible place to live, but it still wasn’t a family. There were no hugs, no stories read at bedtime, and no comfort when she hurt herself. What there was in abundance for Lilly were feelings of knowing. She couldn’t predict when it was going to happen, but occasionally a feeling would come over her and she just knew that something was going to happen to someone. Unfortunately, it was usually something bad.
The first time it happened was late at night. One of the other girls, Penny, was about to be adopted. The girl was so excited she couldn’t sleep. Penny kept talking incessantly about her new parents and what they might be like. At first, Lilly shared in her excitement and daydreamed right along with her. But all of a sudden, Lilly was overcome with a feeling of fear. It was so intense, she began to tremble. She rose on shaky legs. The other girl noticed and asked what was wrong.
“Penny, something bad is going to happen,” Lilly said. “Please don’t go with these people.” She had no idea how she knew something terrible was on the horizon, but Lilly would have been willing to bet her favorite stuffed bear on it, and considering that was her only possession, such a wager would be quite a gamble. Understandably, Penny didn’t take the news well. She became angry at Lilly and screamed that her friend was just jealous. To be fair, Lilly was jealous, but that didn’t change the fact that she knew something bad was going to happen to Penny if she went home with her new family.
Her friend had gone anyway, not that the girl had had much of a choice. A week later, Sue, one of the other orphan girls, had asked one of the teachers if she knew how Penny was doing in her new home. The teacher's face had fallen, and Lilly knew the answer was going to be bad. “Penny and her parents were killed in a car accident two days ago,” the teacher had said. The girls that shared a bunk room with Lilly and Penny all turned to look at her. Lilly remembered feeling like it was her fault. Somehow, because she’s said that something bad was going to happen, Lilly thought she had caused the car accident.
All these years later, it still haunted her. “What are you thinking about, beautiful?” Dillon asked, bringing Lilly back from her thoughts. “You look sad.”
Her fingers were still stroking his hair. They’d been dating for a while now, and Lilly believed she could trust Dillon completely. She felt it in her bones when she looked at him. He had a deep sense of responsibility and did the right thing even when it was hard. Lilly was tired of bearing this burden alone. She wanted to tell him. She wanted him to know her and to see if he was as loyal as she perceived him to be.
“I need to tell you something,” she said. “And it’s going to be hard to believe.”
Dillon chuckled. “I’m pretty sure there’s nothing you could tell me that I wouldn’t believe.”
She took a breath and then blew it out. Here goes nothing. “For as long as I can remember I get feelings, like I know when something is going to happen. Sometimes it’s good, but usually it’s bad. And mostly it’s related to a person. There are times when it happens a lot, but then I can go months without feeling anything.”
“Like what?” he asked without any sound of disbelief in his voice.
“Nothing specific,” she confirmed.
“You just get a feeling. Are you ever wrong?”
“No.”
“Is it with people you know?” Dillon sat up and turned to face her.
“Yes … always.” Lilly hadn’t even thought about that before. Her feelings were never about some random person on the street. It was always people she knew. They didn’t necessarily have to be close friends. They could simply be someone she saw at work on a regular basis.
“Have you ever told anyone about this?” Dillon asked, his voice gentle as he took her hand and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles.
Lilly laughed. “Um, no. I don’t really want people thinking I’m crazy.”
Dillon’s eyes softened. “It must be a huge burden. You know something bad is going to happen to someone you know, but you can’t tell them.”
Lilly swallowed hard. It was a huge burden, and it weighed heavily on her shoulders. She felt responsible every time she got one of her feelings. There’d been the friend whose husband cheated on her. The girl that always checked her out at the grocery store who got cancer at the age of twenty-five. Then there’d been her beautician that had been killed in a house fire. How many times had Lilly wished that her ability would go away? What good was it if she couldn’t help anyone?
“I’m sorry,” Dillon said. “If I could bear it for you, I would.”
Dillon had been nothing but caring to her, and Lilly knew he meant it. “There’s another reason I’m telling you this,” Lilly said. “I get a feeling about you, but it’s a little different. It’s good and bad. I don’t understand it. I just know you’re not quite what you seem to be.”
“You’re feelings aren’t wrong,” he said with a sad smile.
“Care to elaborate?”
“I’ve been thinking about this for some time. I wasn’t entirely sure how much, if anything, I
would tell you about my … own ability.”
“I’m all ears.”
“I won’t lie to you. I will never lie to you. This will sound crazy, Lilly.” When she started to say something, Dillon held up his hand. “No, this is going to make what you told me sound sane.” He took a shaky breath.
Lilly’s eyebrows rose.
“Since your own ability is obviously supernatural, even though you may not realize it, I feel safe telling you about myself now that you’ve confided in me. What I’m about to say will seem impossible, entirely fictional.”
Lilly’s heart began to beat faster as she watched Dillon struggle with what he wanted to say. His mouth opened and then closed again. He ran his hand through his hair, something she’d seen him do while agitated. She reached out and cupped his face, drawing his attention to her, and hopefully away from the worry that was stressing him out. “You can trust me, Dillon. I will believe you.”
His jaw clenched, and he gave a single nod. “I’m what’s called a Canis lupus, otherwise known as a werewolf.” He hurried on before Lilly could respond. “I told you it would sound crazy, but I swear to you it’s the truth. There’s a whole supernatural world that lives in the shadows of the human world. And I’m one of them.” His hand, still holding hers, tightened as if begging her to believe him.
Lilly sat quietly as she processed the information. She was staring into his eyes. He never once looked away from her. There was a part of her, which she’d felt before when she’d stared into his eyes, that wanted to drop her gaze, but she’d always simply blown it off as being just another weird thing about herself. Finally, she spoke. “So you can actually change into a wolf?”
“Yes, but we call it phasing,” he answered.
She stared at him for a few minutes trying to imagine him changing, or phasing, as he called it, into an actual wolf. “Will you show me?”
Dillon’s lips turned up into a sly smile and his eyes began to glow. “On one condition.”
“I can’t tell anyone, right?” she asked. “That’s the condition?”
He shook his head slowly. “You have to promise to pet me.”
Present day
It was all Lilly could do to keep from ripping out her own anemic heart. Regardless of whether the feeling was healthy, Lilly envied Alina. The alpha female had died with the man she loved. She hadn’t been left behind to bear the pain. Unfortunately, this pain was familiar—a prodigal sibling returned home. Twenty years ago, the pain had lived within her, and she’d thought it would never leave. That time, the man she’d given her heart to hadn’t died, but he might as well have.
Two weeks had passed since the Blood Moon ceremony, and three weeks since she’d lost the second man she’d ever loved. She couldn’t help at times but compare the familiar emotions to those she’d experienced when she’d lost Dillon. To be fair, she’d known losing him was always a possibility because of what he was. But over the years, she’d somehow convinced herself she could avoid that fate. Surely, his love for her was stronger than any supernatural bond could be. How wrong she had been.
And now, she’d convinced herself that Cypher was invincible. He was larger than life and more formidable than any foe he’d ever faced. It never crossed her mind that he might not come through a battle unscathed. Again, how wrong she had been.
Lilly paced their bedroom because no position was comfortable. Her arms crossed in front of her chest, only to be dropped to her sides and then brought back up to cross again. She passed in front of their mirror with every pace of the room. The woman there tracking her movements couldn’t be Lilly Pierce. That woman was a ghost, gaunt skin stretched across a hollow frame. Dark circles surrounded wild eyes resting below a shock of tangled hair. She wore a black sleep gown from Cypher. He’d given her many gifts. Sometimes she wondered if he felt like he had to somehow make up for the way they were brought together and the part he had played in it.
This time across the room, Lilly stopped in front of the mirror. She shook her head as frown lines marred her forehead. “Who are you?” she asked the woman staring back at her. Seconds ticked by as they stared at each other, both women seeming to look to the other for something—some hope, some light buried deep inside that would enable them to carry on. Both knew it wouldn’t be found.
Lilly startled when a knock thudded on her bedroom door. She turned away from the ghost in the mirror and retrieved her robe from the bed, slipping it on before walking over and pulling it open. Gerick, the warlock army general—my warlock army—stood across the threshold.
“I’m sorry to bother you, my queen,” Gerick said, his voice gentle, as if she were made of glass and by speaking too loudly he might cause her to shatter.
It pissed her off to know he could see just how fragile she was at the moment. But don’t I have a right to be fragile? Isn’t it my prerogative to shatter if that’s what I want to do?
“You are no bother, Gerick.” She stood up straight and attempted to put some strength into her voice.
“The leaders of the other clans would like to meet with you. They want to know when you might be ready.”
Lilly gritted her teeth. All of the warlock clans loyal to Cypher and the Great Luna had shown up at the Blood Moon ceremony, and the leaders of those clans were currently guests in their mountain. Cypher hadn’t been merely the king of their clan; he was the king of all warlocks, and the leaders had answered to him. Now, they would answer to her. For some reason, that fact made her want to laugh. Not too long ago, she’d been a single mother who owned a struggling bookstore. She’d known about the supernatural world, but she hadn’t been a part of it. In fact, she’d hoped she never would be a part of it again. And now she was the queen of an entire supernatural race.
“What time is it now?” she asked the general. One of the things that annoyed her about living in a mountain was that she couldn’t see outside, so she had no idea what time of day it was. She could look at her phone, but hell if she knew where it was.
“It is four o’clock in the afternoon, your highness,” again his voice soft.
Lilly took a deep breath before letting it out slowly. “Can I ask you a question?” She hated to sound clueless, but the new queen had no choice. And she figured it was much better to look foolish in front of her general rather than a room full of clan leaders.
“Of course,” Gerick answered.
“What are they are expecting of me? They know Cypher transferred his power to me. What do they want?”
Gerick motioned with his hand toward her chamber. “May I?”
Lilly dropped her arms and stepped back. “Of course.” It bothered her that she also seemed to have lost her sense of southern hospitality.
“I just think this is a conversation best not had in the corridor,” he explained, stepping inside and closing the door. He made no move to advance further into the room.
“Yes.” She nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m just not thinking very clearly.”
“It’s okay,” Gerick said. “You should mourn him. I saw how much you loved each other, so did everyone in our clan. It would be strange and concerning if you did not grieve his passing.”
“I feel weak,” she said and sighed. Somehow, admitting this deflated her, sucking away the strength she’d been trying to maintain.
“There is no weakness in showing emotion, Lilly. Great leaders love their people deeply. It allows them to make the best decisions for everyone, not just themselves or a few.”
Lilly knew what he said was true, but she didn’t feel strong enough to love an entire group of people. She wasn’t even strong enough to love herself, especially when she felt as if she’d lost half of her soul. She didn’t know how to respond so she simply nodded.
Gerick appeared to understand she didn’t want to speak further on the subject. “As for your question, they want to know what your plans are in regard to the alliance Cypher had established with the other races. They want to know how you plan to fight against the
Order and what you expect of their clans. In short, they want to see if—”
“I’m capable of being queen,” she finished for him.
Gerick nodded. “But Cypher was king for a very long time. Change is difficult for long-lived races. They get stuck in their ways. Try not to take offense. They would ask the same thing of any new leader.”
“Easier said than done,” Lilly quipped. She chewed on her bottom lip as she considered her course of action.
“Can I offer some advice?” Gerick asked.
“Please,” Lilly said. Cypher had trusted his general completely. If she was going to do this, she would have to trust him as well.
“Meet with them tonight. We will serve them a meal. This will make the atmosphere less formal. But instead of answering their questions tonight, you do all the speaking. Explain that what they felt is true. You have Cypher’s memories and power. Then we need to declare a period of mourning for the warlocks. Regardless of the Great Luna’s decree for everyone. After that time you will let them know the plans for our clan and expectations of theirs. The most important thing tonight is for them to see you strong and in control. Do not let them lead the meeting. You are queen, Lilly. They answer to you.”
“But I also answer to them,” Lilly said. “They have to know that I have their best interests at heart, which I do.”
“They will see that in your eyes and in your demeanor. You can do this. If Cypher had not believed that, he would have passed his power to another.”
After several minutes, she nodded. “We will dine at six o’clock. I will sit last and serve my food last.”
Gerick’s brow rose and his eyes widened.
“It doesn’t weaken me to show them honor by being here,” she said.
A small smile appeared on his face. “Yes, your highness. Shall I escort you in?”
