by Casey Morgan
In the next second, I’m back to reasoning with her. With myself. With my loathing of her. I was a fool to try any of it. To remind a werewolf of the wolf inside and an alpha female at that. She was never going to give me control. She was always going to fight me tooth and claw.
I snarl again, hating the hiccup of sorrow I hear there as well. It’s tagging along for the ride, as if, after tonight I will be plagued equally by both. I should’ve left you thinking that you are human. I should have left you to this waste of life, where you belong.
But I couldn’t, this thought slides in traitorously. It makes my breath catch. I didn’t. And now, this is so much worse. You hate me. These thoughts are even worse than the last, damning me. They condemn me. I sink down on my knees again, unable to resist the gravity. Unable to fight the well of despair opening up in me. You’re choosing to leave me adrift! You’re choosing to abandon me to my loneliness, after I’ve suffered at its hands longer than anyone should wish to!
I scream in sorrow and anger, jumping back onto my feet and off the ground. As I do, I feel feverish. I’m high on adrenaline and crazy; burning thoughts ripping through my mind. Thoughts of ending it all. Of finding a silver bullet and putting it through my head. Plunging my brain full of them, like I should’ve done long ago. Like I should’ve allowed to happen back in the containment camp.
Badly, I want to do it. I want to end it. Put a bullet through my miserable head and become dust. But even as I move feverishly through the forest trying to make this a reality, trying to plan it out for maximum, tragic effect, I can’t go through with it. I know I can’t, despite my feelings.
And all because of her. Of my vision of Ava looming over me. Like a ghost. A specter. A friend and tormentor, filling me with the barest edge of hope. I don’t want to, but part of me starts to believe she might still need me. She might still desire me.
A noise rips through the air and through my chest. It tears into my beating heart, threatening to still it. A howl. My mate is shifting for the first time and I must go to her.
My mate still wants me. She still needs me, but I won’t allow myself to think anything else. She will come crawling back to me. She calls me into her life this time, not the other way around.
Chapter 15
Ava
Love. Hate. That’s what I felt the entire time Cole’s cock was in my mouth. From the moment he pulled me into the bathroom and forced me onto my knees, I was in a state of emotion caught between exquisite obedience and exciting, dangerous rebellion. Held taut between those two, I was riled up into a state of wildness, unbridled lust and rage.
As with everything between me and Cole since he fucked me in an out-of-the-way storage area/work room at the theater, I’ve despised and craved him. His touch. His taste. I desire the feel and texture of his hands on me, his cock in or around me, and me blowing him—me being forced to deep throat him on the floor of the bathroom—it’s no different. It’s a strange combination of anger and joy to do this for him, to be put in this position, dominated and controlled.
He’s taken from my freedoms and choices in this way, and this remained the case as he continued to pound my throat down on his cock at a blinding, dizzying speed. My lust, rage and hatred for him bubbled up all the same. And it gets more that way every time I heard him tell me to obey, to follow his ever order.
Obey. Each and every time I heard it, I was driven all the more out of myself. I was out of control, and to the point where I couldn’t think of anything but mauling him again, driving him to the ground and ripping out his heart. Then walking out of this bathroom and showing it to everyone as proof of what a dastardly, untrustworthy man he is, potential boyfriend material or not.
But all of this supercharged psychotic love/hate, and the thoughts and fantasies that come with it, all of that exploded in me like a series of charges, the minute that Cole demanded that I swallow him. When he told me to swallow the cum he’s blowing into my mouth, part of me revolted against that, though another part started to love it.
I sucked down what he offered, feeling and wanting no other choice, until he tells me to obey him one more time. It was debilitating, suddenly. Dehumanizing to the woman I am. I whipped my mouth off of him, the moment it’s completely empty. The moment his penis went slack, I went rigid, and jumped to my feet.
I was a swirling mass of anger, a tower of sadness and grief. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend my feelings, but I knew I wanted nothing more than to carve into him my claws. I wanted to rend him somewhere where he won’t forget it, and possibly die from it.
“Stop telling me that,” I yelled, surprised by the force of my words, their resonance and power. Confusion enters into my mind with the rage, showing me pictures of Cole taking my virginity and the joy I found in his dominance. That confusion is what compelled me into greater and greater levels of rage. “You can’t order me! I barely even know you!”
As I shouted this, I lay into Cole, who was looking at me with shocked, petrified eyes, for the first time since we met. He wasn’t not trying to use any charm or control. He was just trying to wrap his head around what I’ve started beating into him with a verbal sledgehammer.
As I glared at him, I began to feel feverish, woozy, but also sped up. Caffeinated in a weird way, as if I might start sprouting strange, new appendages, new features, that shouldn’t belong on a human like me. But I kept going, I kept shouting at him, even as I felt this and started trying to back myself out of the bathroom stall. I opened the door I’ve been trapped by incredibly clumsily. Just like my words, my movements had no grace period, and no dignity.
“Stay away from me, Cole!” I yelled as I ran.
And I am running still. I give a small, growling howl as I escape from the restaurant. My heart’s just started to have palpitations, angry, disembodied ones. This heart of mine has “Cole” written all over it, and I fucking hate him for it.
I dash into the parking lot and start storming to my car. It’s snowing heavy, but I don’t feel the night’s chill, even though my coat is left somewhere in the restaurant. My skin is too warm, too hot, as if I am radiating my rage to the world. I kick the snowbanks out of my way, desperate to have no more barriers. As I find my car, and my hands crawl around the door handle, I feel downright beastly, bloodthirsty. But I don’t regret it. I don’t fear it.
And I don’t like what I hear. Cole is yelling for me. Following after me. He’s still trying to control me. I jump in, start the car and drive.
From the restaurant, I’m a bundle of movements and emotions, disconnected, disjointed and completely out of control. Completely out of sync. As I’m driving, it’s a damn miracle I don’t crash and burn. It’s a damn miracle I don’t get myself pulled over, killed, or otherwise maimed.
I don’t know how I do it, but I manage to get myself home. I pull up to my parking space in front of my downtown apartment, where I then climb out, and lurch up the stairs. As I move, my heart feels like a bruised and brittle tea leaf. With too much movement or exposure, it’ll fall apart, turn to dust, leaving me to choke on the remainder.
A few times on my way up the stairs, my legs give out. I almost collapse, feeling my heart collapsing along with the rest of my body. But I somehow manage to get it together. I pull myself together enough to get up the stairs and into the apartment, but that’s my last shred of victory. The moment I step into my house, I fall into my front door, closing it.
Losing my footing, I’m surrounded by a strange feeling of being taken over and possessed by some dark swirling energy. The energy is sour and fraught with bitterness. It is wrath and hunger so deep and consuming I feel myself begin to growl and snap at it. I snarl, open-mouthed, dry and vicious.
In the depths of all of this, I’m cursing myself. I curse my foolishness at getting involved with some strange man all because of an even stranger wolf. This, more than anything, lights a fire in my blood, bones and sinew. Up from my throat climbs a deadly rattling sound, a snarl and a cough.
&nb
sp; Fuck him! I should’ve never gotten involved with him! I should’ve never put myself on the line for that damn wolf, or for that damn guy! I was such a stupid girl! Stupidly in love! Stupidly trusting of him and this whole scenario!
Unbidden, I roll over onto my hands and knees from my ass. I pull up to standing, dropping my glasses to the floor. I begin to pace around, faster and faster. The faster and faster I go, the more and more I do this motion, the more I hear and feel myself being taken over by a wild energy. The more I’m growling and moaning.
Fuck you! I should’ve never let you get inside me, Cole! I should’ve never let you seep into me, and fuck me, make me feel things I never felt before! Under these thoughts, I watch as my hands transform. My fingers get longer, adorned with huge, glistening black nails, I feel powerful, ready to ream anything and everything.
I will never forget what you’ve done to me! How I was stupid enough to let you in! And now I’m changing! Transform me into something hungry and vicious! I hate you and your company! But I’m also craving it, even now!
With these thoughts, I feel my teeth elongate and become sharper. I don’t stop moving, though. I continue to pace, range through my apartment like I’m going to find Cole there sleeping unprotected. Sleeping peacefully, at which point, I can bury my teeth in him. This bloodlust in mind, I roam throughout my house. Back and forth, from end-to-end, I slink. The only thing to keep me company is my own soft mutterings, and the changing light on the walls. Not only is it my only company, but it is my only concept of time.
My limbs burn. They twist and change shape. My skin pulls back and is replaced with a warm coat of fur. I howl as my nose grows, changes, rips itself forward into a snout. My teeth snap and clench. My tail, a growth I have never had before, swishes back and forth at a dangerous rate.
My mind knows that I am now a wolf, black furred and sharp eyed. I know and understand and yet, I don’t. Why would I be a wolf? My human mind screams. My wolf mind just wants Cole. It senses Cole. It smells him on the wind, making me anxious and angry, and I pace through the apartment on four paws.
At some point during this endless, repetitive patrol—this repetitive thirst for Cole, I feel him there. He’s looming in the night, close but distant. He’s howling at me. I hear him acutely, and although I want nothing more than to join him in that kind of rageful, wild song, I don’t. I force myself to start shredding my furniture.
I hate you! Go die, I think to him, trying to smother my overpowering urge to jump out of my apartment window and go running toward him. Flying towards him and finding him, so I can bite him all over and apologize. Beg him to never leave me. But even as I think this, I don’t want to be near him. I don’t want him to ever come back.
I don’t want to see his eyes or one strand of his hair, even as I’m wailing for it and being made helpless in front of the very idea of it.
Go die. Leave. Disappear. I bury my claws into the pristine floor. Even if that’s the last thing I want. The last thing I can stand.
On the edge of my mind, I feel madness and salvation. It’s just as if I feel the sky lightening from the dead of night. In it, I feel the play of pull and repulsion under Cole’s spell. I tune into it, frothing at the edge of my fanged mouth. He’s coming closer. Soon he will be near and with me.
And I will rip him to shreds.
The front door to my apartment bursts open and I stop in my tracks. I lower my canine form down. Strong back legs braced and ready to pounce on Cole as he enters the doorway. Snarling, I greet the man before me. His tall form towering above, filling my small doorframe.
I spring forward, but he raises a hand and stops me with a force I don’t understand.
“No,” he orders and moves his hand down. The movement of my body follows.
With some invisible force, he holds my wolf form down and I sit like an obedient puppy waiting for a command.
“Ava.” He smiles at me.
He actually recognizes me as the wolf before him. The thought brings my rage back. It seethes and boils under my fur. With it comes a realization, this is his fault. Cole has caused me to become a wolf. I don’t know how or why, but he must be responsible.
The man shuts the front door behind him and locks it. Then, he paces forward as if he is going to reach out for me, collar me, and make me his. Keeping my stomach low to the ground, I inch backwards, keeping him as far away from me as possible.
“No, Ava,” he grunts. “I didn’t make you this way. You were always this way. Wolf and woman. This is the freedom of your soul. I just reminded you of what you are. Come my love, my mate, shift back and let’s talk.” His amber eyes glow as he blinks at me. His expression is open and loving.
I growl. I bare my teeth, hoping he will go away and leave me to myself. He shakes his head sadly and then holds out his hand again.
“Shift!” he commands.
And I do.
Chapter 16
Cole
It’s finally done. Ava has backed herself into a proverbial corner. Captured in her own apartment, she’s shifted into wolf form all on her own. Her wolf knows me as her pack-master and though she tries to fight, she cannot advance on me. I am her alpha.
I ask her to shift back, but she does not, so I have to order her. The process is not an elegant one. Her bones stretch and break. Her skin pulls and burns. Ava, once she is human again and her lovely curves are nude before me, cries from the pain. She huddles on the floor gripping her sides and looks up at me with glowing blue eyes.
“It gets easier,” I tell her. “Each time you shift it will hurt less.” I move to pick her up off the cold floor.
The way she gasps when I move toward her, the way her eyes glitter with love and lust, with obedience and submittal, the way her mouth is held slightly open, yearning to speak and yet dying to stay silent, all those things and more tell me she has finally accepted me as her mate.
She’s ready and willing to let me take her as my own, as my mated partner once and for all. I can smell and taste this on her as I continue to close the distance.
I take her shivering body into my arms and lift her close to my chest. She huddles tight and looks up at me. I can feel her pant. I lean down and close my lips lightly on top of hers. It’s a gentle, rewarding kiss.
“Ava,” I murmur, letting her name pour across my lips after fluttering over my tongue, “it’s all right now. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be as it should have been now. Now that we are together, and now that you remember what you truly are, nothing and no one can stand in our way.”
As I speak to her in this way, I set her down on the couch. I drop to my knees in front of her and go in for another kiss. And then another, and another, and another. I place kisses on her lips, then on her cheeks, her ears, her neck, shoulders and chest, caressing her skin gently as I do.
She doesn’t resist. She only lets me do more of what I please, how I please.
And I reward her with not just kisses but a gentle squeeze to her full breasts. I begin to brush and fondle her nipples in this way, rolling them between my fingers in a rhythmic, slow pattern. One I am prepared to increase as the minutes tick by, so long as she continues to be behaved, obedient, and willing to receive me.
I lean in to kiss her some more and I whisper in her ear, “Ava, I want you to prove your loyalty and love to me.”
With these words, I continue to fondle her breasts. I move a bit faster, but not by much. Only enough to hear her groan softly. She moves herself into me more, leaning forward on the couch, at which point I reward her further. I run a hand down her taut stomach, over her mound and find her clit. I pet and fondle it as well, rubbing it perfectly with the palm of my hand.
“I’m sorry you’ve felt alone this whole time. I’m sorry you got adopted out from your pack and given to the humans to raise. Now that I am here, we will be pack once more and you will never feel the aching, angry loneliness that you felt before,” I add.
I watch her blue eyes as she
listens to me, as she blisses out to my touch. Spontaneously, however, just as my touch on her clit becomes heated and fast, she begins to pant with desire and grind her pussy into my hand. I coax her lovingly and patiently to do so, to not be afraid, to let herself go and become one with her true nature.
Under these words, I begin to guide her body around on the couch. I turn her away from me and place her on her knees. She leans her stomach on the back of the couch and lets her glorious breasts swing. Her ample backside is facing me now.
“You are perfect, Ava. A perfect werewolf and woman,” I growl softly, looking happily on her round, plush butt cheeks and the curve from her waist to her hips.
I run my hands up the skin of her cheeks and then give one a sharp slap. It reddens beneath my touch. Ava hisses in a breath as she feels the pain, but it is more pleasure than pain and she arches her back, thrusting her ass towards me. I clasp both her cheeks in my hands and pull them open to revel her asshole. It’s slick and shiny from her desire.
Not one to be transfixed by much of anything (I’m not a stupid wolf), I’m hopelessly and helplessly transfixed by her puckered, pink hole. I lick my lips, thinking just how delicious it would be if I stuck me long cock inside it.
“Take me,” Ava whimpers.
I savor my dominance of her, so that, from tonight forward, there is no authority greater than me, and no law greater or more binding than our love, our bond.
I move forward and begin to stroke her asshole. I tease its edges, rubbing a finger around it and then dip my fingertip in gently. Ava moves back, taking my whole finger inside of her like the greedy pup she is. So, I give her what she wants, I finger fuck her ass. I move at a quick pace, hoping this encourages her to give me the permission I want, and I need, to take this further.
