The last few weeks without her had been fucking hell. One of his own creation, but it burned just as hot. He wasn’t sure he could see her and not want to touch her, devour her.
But it was an olive branch. He’d sent her those tickets because he wasn’t going to use them, knowing she’d love to go. He didn’t expect her to send one back to him and ask him to meet her.
But he never expected to have walked out on his baby girl, either. Could she ever forgive him for that? For taking his anger out on her and walking out on her when she had needed him?
So many things had happened in the last few weeks that he wanted to share with her. Every time Grant called him with news on his search for his mother, he wanted to call Carissa to talk to her about it. Grant was getting closer. Her friends in Chicago finally started divulging information. His leads took him outside of Chicago, and he was headed to Indiana to track down her relatives.
His father had lied straight through his fucking teeth. He didn’t offer her money when she said she was leaving him. He had sent her away. He’d controlled every minute of her day, her time, and when she tried to fight back, tried to get some breathing room, he’d kicked her out. As far as her friends knew, there was no money, no offer, only threats that if she tried to come back, he’d make sure she regretted it—and Jamison would suffer, too.
Baron Croft stopped even trying to contact him, and he preferred it that way. Jamison’s attorney was working on selling off his shares in the company. He supposed he should feel grief over losing his father, not only the current relationship but the memories of him. He’d never really been a father, Jamison could see that clearly now, more so than he had already. It was one thing to admit something but entirely worse when you felt the truth in your bones. And he felt the truth now.
His phone beeped, and he swiped the messenger.
Sure. Why would I turn down a ride?
Guess his decision was made. He’d texted Carissa that morning before his mind was clear enough to stop him, offering to pick her up for the concert.
On my way
He turned on the ignition. They could get a quick bite first. It would be fine.
Not awkward. Just friends. They could do that.
He could do that.
The door to her apartment was ajar when he got there. He knocked, the door opening wider when he did.
“Carissa?” he called, but when she didn’t answer he shoved the door open and ran inside “Carissa!”
“Yeah! Yeah! I’m here, what’s wrong?” She bounded into the living room, her hair half flat and half curled, her white lace bra on and white cotton panties.
He took a deep breath and shook his head.
“Your door was open, not unlocked, open.”
He shut it and turned the bolt.
“Oh. I must have forgotten to close it after the Peapod guy came.”
“I didn’t see an order put through,” he said, trying to keep his eyes from wandering over her exposed body.
“I opened my own account.”
It didn’t feel right, having her on her own like that. But he was her friend. He couldn’t say anything, and he sure couldn’t make her let him have a say in her grocery shopping.
“All Twinkies and ice-cream?” he asked, hoping to sound playful.
She shook her head. “I sprinkled a few veggies here and there.”
“I—uh—I interrupted you getting ready.” He motioned at her standing in front of him in her underwear.
“Yeah. I was doing my hair.”
He looked at his watch. “I’ll wait out here.” He motioned toward the couch and took a seat.
“Okay. I’ll just be a few more minutes.” She took a few steps backward and turned as she came to her door. But he’d seen it.
Her panties.
Bad Girl
Was it a sign? Did she want him to see that?
Being unsure of himself wasn’t his thing. He didn’t need signs or flashing symbols to tell him what to do. She was wearing the panties he gave her.
He decided he wasn’t going to wait in the living room. He marched down the hall to the bathroom where she was now wearing a pleated black skirt and was working on her hair again.
“Got bored,” he said when she looked at him in the mirror. “So, how’s work been?”
“Same as usual. Jade’s leaving. She and Garrick are starting to look for houses out in the burbs.”
“Yeah, I heard.” He kicked the doorframe lightly. “Dark Lace is going to open up out there. Garrick is going to manage it.”
“Jade did mention something about that. It’s good. Opening a club out there.”
“Yep.”
“You buying the shelter.” She put down the hot iron after unplugging it. “That was good, too.” She turned to him, leaning back against the sink. “Your father has moved on, I understand.”
“My attorney was able to get him off the idea of going up against me with his eminent domain garbage. Yes.”
“Good. That’s got to be really hard for you, going up against him like that.”
“Not as hard as I thought it would be.” He went on to explain the situation with his father, and about his search for his mother. She stood, gripping the countertop of the sink, listening. Intently listening. He saw the rage in her when he explained the lies his father had told about his mother, and the sincere hope in her eyes when he talked about Grant’s work in trying to find her.
“I’m really sorry all that happened.” She didn’t move, but she looked ready to pounce.
“I’m really sorry, too. I’m sorry that instead of sticking around to explain it all, to let it all settle in my head first, I let it ruin us.”
Her lips parted, but she didn’t make a sound.
“I was so angry, so confused about what to do next, that dealing with you and that at the same time mushed into one thing. I should have waited. I should have dropped you off and gone home to get my head on straight before talking with you. I never should have come up here and taken my anger out on you like that.” He raked a hand through his hair. Could she forgive him for that?
“I didn’t exactly make things easy for you. I reminded you too many times about our deal. When the truth was—I didn’t want the month to end, I didn’t want to walk away. And it terrified me. Instead of telling you, instead of bringing you my worries I held them in and made a bigger mess. How could you possibly think anything other than what you did about me?”
“We did a great job at doing everything wrong that day, huh?” His lips tugged into a smile.
“Yeah, we did.” She let out a long breath. “Do you think I can confess one more thing?”
“Sure, why not.” He chuckled.
“I don’t want to go to the concert tonight. I want to stay here. With you. I want to clear the air and start over. I want my daddy back.”
His chest could have exploded, his heart expanded so quickly from her words.
“I want my Carissa-girl back.” He nodded. “No expiration dates.”
“No, no time stamp.” She shook her head.
“And no more hiding feelings. We deal with them head-on, both of us.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
His knees just about buckled. God damn she knew how to pull his strings.
“And the next time I see you get off that bus at the shelter without proper clothing, I’m going to paddle you right there. Don’t think for a second I didn’t see you without your hat and gloves at least a dozen times over the past few weeks.”
She lowered her eyes, and a rosy blush covered her cheeks.
“Yes, Daddy.”
“Lift up your skirt for me, Carissa-girl.”
She turned around and rolled up the hem until he saw the words he’d seen before.
“Bad Girl, huh? What did you do that was bad?”
“I got arrested, for one.” She laughed and looked over her shoulder at him.
He laughed, too. It felt so good.
“You did a lot mo
re than that, little girl. But we can start there.”
He closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms around her, burying his nose in her hair. “I missed you. So much I missed you.”
“Please don’t leave me again.”
“Never, Carissa-girl. Never. I swear it.”
Before she could respond, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bedroom.
Chapter 19
The moment Jamison touched her, lifting her off her feet, she crumpled inside. So much tension had built all week, while she hoped she’d be able to see him at the concert. She hadn’t thought he would offer to drive her, but when the text had come in, she’d felt a surge of hope. Always cautious with her optimism, she didn’t let her mind spiral off into all the fantasies that could happen when she saw him.
But there he was. In her apartment and wanting to start over again.
All the emotion she’d shoved away for weeks flooded her, and tears spilled over her lids and down her cheeks. He immediately jumped into action, gathering her back in his arms and cradling her in his lap on her bed.
“It’s okay, Carissa-girl. It’s okay.”
“I know.” She sniffled. “I’m so tired of trying not to hurt, and now I don’t have to hurt anymore.”
He flinched but didn’t let her go. “I’m sorry you had to hurt at all.”
“You hurt, too,” she reminded him. He’d gone through so much, and she hadn’t been there for him. She couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, and she didn’t try. She didn’t need to.
“We both hurt because we weren’t with each other. But now that we are here, we can heal.”
She’d missed him so much. How easily he could soothe her with a hug, a kiss, hell, a wink. She tried telling herself she could get over him, but she’d been lying to herself. She’d never be able to get over him.
“Aren’t you going to paddle me?” she asked when several minutes went by and he still held her.
“I think the last few weeks are punishment enough for both of us,” he said.
She looked up at him, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. “Do you still—” She swallowed. “Do you still want me?”
“Want you? Carissa, if I don’t have you in the next ten minutes, I will probably die a horrible death. Outside of the physical need I have for you, I want you in every other way, too. I always did. I love you, Carissa. And if that scares you, I’ll hold you tighter—”
“It doesn’t scare me, I mean, it would have a while ago, but seeing as I love you, too, it only makes good sense.”
He looked down at her, a warm smile spreading across his features.
“Still such a smart mouth.”
She giggled and snuggled closer, enjoying the warmth of being in his arms.
“I know how to cure that.” His hands wandered down her body, feeling her and pinching her. She didn’t wiggle away or try to stop him. Instead she gave him free rein.
It felt so good to have his hands on her again, to have her daddy back with her.
“I think we can do without these panties,” he said. She scooted off the bed, rolled the cotton panties down, and stepped out of them.
“Your pants might get in the way, too.” She gestured at the bulge in his jeans.
“You’re right.” He hopped down and made quick work of getting as naked as her. He grabbed her and tossed her down on the bed, shoving her legs apart and pressing his hard cock against her.
“I’ve missed this, too.” He reached between them and petted her clit. She hadn’t touched herself in weeks, not feeling the desire to do anything without him. His little touch had her on the brink already.
He eased two fingers into her, his mouth agape as he watched her. “My girl is wet and wanting. You’re close, aren’t you?”
“Yes.” She nodded, gripping his shoulders.
“I’m afraid this isn’t going to take very long.” he poised his cock at her entrance.
“I don’t care,” she all but yelled.
He laughed then removed his fingers, quickly replacing them with his cock. “Oh fuck.” He gripped her hips and ground his pelvis into her.
She arched her spine, trying to get closer to him, to pull him deeper inside.
“I have to.” She panted, meeting his thrusts with her own
“Go,” he ordered, his voice gravelly and raw.
He captured her scream with his mouth, kissing her hard. Her breaths came in little gasps as he fiercely rode her toward his own release. As his body unleashed, whipping his mind this way and that until the last pulse of his orgasm slipped from him.
“Holy hell,” he whispered against her lips. “That had to be a record short fuck.”
She laughed. “That’s okay. We have all night.”
“No, Carissa-girl. We have forever.”
“Yes, Daddy.”
Epilogue
“Where is he?” Carissa asked, checking her phone again for the time. They’d been sitting in the crowded coffee house for almost an hour and still no sign of Detective Warner.
“He’ll be here, don’t worry.” Jamison sipped the last of his latte.
“Maybe you should have used a different detective,” Carissa said.
“You only say that because you think Grant doesn’t like you.” Jamison grinned.
“He thinks I’m trouble.” She shrugged.
“That’s only because the first time he met you, you were sitting in one of his holding cells.” Jamison reached over the table and squeezed her hand. “He’s a good detective and a friend. I trust him with this.”
Carissa nodded. Trust was important. Especially with this task.
“Hey, sorry I’m so late.” Grant appeared at their table and shook off his coat. Light flakes of snow dropped to the floor around them.
“No problem.” Jamison greeted him.
“Did you find her?” Carissa burst in before Grant took his seat.
Grant paused; his gaze flicked to Jamison. “Sort of.”
Carissa held Jamison’s hand.
“And?” she forcibly pressed when he didn’t speak right away.
“Carissa,” Jamison warned. “Let him sit before you start your interrogation.”
“It’s okay.” Grant gave a small nod. “I did find her. Unfortunately…shit…I’m sorry Jamison. She passed away two years ago.” Grant placed a folder on the table. “Her death certificate.”
Carissa’s gaze snapped to Jamison. His jaw went lax, and his shoulders drooped. All the waiting, the hoping- dashed with one sentence. He’d never meet his mother.
“There’s something else,” Grant said, opening the folder and pulling out a slip of paper. “A birth certificate. For a baby girl.”
Carissa snatched the paper. “Jamison, this girl is younger than you…shit- I think she’s your sister.” She brought her gaze back to him.
Grant took the paper back. “Yes, that’s what I think as well. Your father is listed on the certificate. This girl- well woman now- is your sister. Full sister. Your mom was pregnant when she left Chicago.”
Jamison sat back in his chair. His brow wrinkled with thought.
“Jamison?” Carissa said softly. “I’m sorry-”
“No. It’s okay.” He turned his attention back to Grant. “Did you find anything out about my mother, how she lived, died? Anything?” Jamison asked.
Grant nodded. “She remarried about ten years ago. They were in a car wreck. Died instantly.”
Jamison’s jaw clenched, and he dragged in a long breath. “My sister?”
“I didn’t do any digging on her. She wasn’t listed in the area, and I wasn’t sure how deep you wanted me to go,” Grant explained.
“Okay,” Jamison nodded. “Well, thanks, for finding this all out for me.”
“Not a problem. I can keep digging,” Grant offered.
“No, not now. I think I need to wrap my brain around all this first.” Jamison crossed his arms over his chest.
Gr
ant stared in silence for a long moment. “Okay, well. Then I’ll see you at Dark Lace this weekend?”
Jamison nodded. “Of course.”
Grant left the folder for Jamison and grabbed his coat from the chair. “I had the maintenance guys do that thing you wanted in the nursery. It’ll be ready this weekend,” he said while he buttoned up his coat.
“Thanks,” Jamison said with a slight nod.
Carissa waited until Grant walked away from the table before scooting over to the next chair and hugging Jamison.
“I’m so sorry, daddy,” she whispered.
“It’s really okay,” he said with a kiss to her forehead. “Really. I won’t have the answers I wanted, but I know she didn’t abandon me. I can feel it.” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and held her against him.
“What about your sister?” Carissa asked quietly.
“I need some time, then maybe Grant can find her, reach out for me. But right now, I think I’m just going to enjoy having my little girl with me. The movers will be at your place tomorrow morning.”
Carissa’s heart would break a rib if it expanded anymore. Six months ago, the idea of moving in with Jamison would have had her running for the hills. But now, after everything they’d gone through, all the heartache and loving, she couldn’t wait to get finished with the move.
“Are you sure?” she asked.
He cupped her chin, tilting her head enough to bring his lips over hers.
“Absolutely, Carissa-girl.”
“What was Grant talking about? What did they do in the nursery?” she asked. She suspected Jamison needed a little time to accept the news, and once everything sunk in, he’d talk to her about it. He wouldn’t hide from her any more than she was allowed to hide from him.
Jamison’s mouth split into a wide toothy grin.
“Just brought in a few more pieces of furniture.” He got up from the table and grabbed her coat. “Let’s get back to your place. We still have one more room to clean before the movers come tomorrow.”
“But what equipment?” She stuffed her arms in the coat he held out for her.
He zipped her coat then handed her the scarf.
Until Daddy: Dark Lace Series Page 18
