“I still believe the town could use another place like this,” she told Luke as she looked out the window wistfully. “A place to come together. To relax and recharge. Almost like a hub for our little town.”
“I agree,” Luke said. “But it doesn’t sound like anything Martha’s going to take on without some convincing. And then there’s the whole coffee part. I can’t imagine Cat would appreciate the competition.”
“She wouldn’t have any,” Jolene said around a mouthful of banana muffin. If she didn’t watch herself, she’d consume the entire bag of pastries. “Cat would give up the truck for a retail location in a heartbeat. The only reason she even has the truck is because there wasn’t any space available back when she started her business. I know she hates hauling that thing all over town. If she could settle into a storefront, I’m sure she would.” She sighed. “If only these sorts of things were free.”
“Well, dreaming is free and planning is free, so I don’t think we should stop doing either of those two things. Might be worth a conversation with Cat. We should ask if she has some time available later on today so we can find out what page she’s on.”
“You’ve had a conversation with Cat before, haven’t you? We won’t need any time at all—we’ll know within the first five minutes!”
“I LOVE IT!”
No sooner were the words out of Jolene’s mouth than Cat was clapping her hands enthusiastically like she was keeping time in a church choir. A quick phone call to Cat after Jolene’s earlier conversation with Luke led to an impromptu meeting at The Rolling Pin, just as the two were finishing up their midmorning snack. Coincidently, Cat had been doing a little holiday shopping on Glenn Street and had a free moment to join them.
“Sign me up!” she shouted, her voice echoing in the small bakery.
“I wish it was that simple,” Jolene said, wanting to bring Cat down from her excitement gently. “I mean, you do have all we need on the coffee end of things, but then there’s fixtures and tables and chairs. Permits and licenses. Things like that. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but it all adds up quickly. Luke and I ran some numbers and our conservative guess to get the place to where it would need to be is around sixty thousand.”
Cat nodded. “I’m actually not too surprised by that. Startup money was a huge barrier for entry back when I got the truck. Sweetie,” she took Jolene’s hands into hers across the table, “I would love nothing more than to be business partners with you, but those figures are a little cost prohibitive, what with college coming up in a few years for Tanner and all. Unless Santa delivers a huge sack of cash under my Christmas tree this year, I fear it’ll just have to remain a far off dream. Doesn’t hurt to dream though, right?”
Something sank within Jolene’s heart. Part of her had known all along that this crazy idea wouldn’t work out—that it was a harebrained hope with no real financial footing. It was beginning to feel like she’d squandered everything over the last five years when she’d lived off her savings. She shouldn’t have done that; she should’ve gotten a real job and left the money untouched. She’d thought she’d been helping her friends out by volunteering rather than asking for pay, but in doing so, she’d forfeited the ability to actually help these same friends realize their own dreams, and that was the worst feeling of all.
After saying their goodbyes to Cat, Jolene and Luke walked toward the truck. Luke had lunch plans with Kiara and that fact didn’t help lighten Jolene’s spirits any. For the first time during this particular holiday season, Jolene felt utterly hopeless. She couldn’t muster any cheer to speak of.
The streets were crowded, shoppers with colorful bags dodging one another while keeping clear of snowy patches that lined the walkways. Water droplets dripped from gutters overhead. Every time a store door would open, the warbling sound of chatter, cash registers, and customers would spill out onto the streets. While it was usually a heartwarming atmosphere, today it felt like a cacophony of chaos.
Jolene’s eyes stung with tears.
“Hey.” Luke said, bumping her shoulder with his. “You okay?”
Sniffing, Jolene shrugged. “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just been an emotional morning. First with Millie and then talking with Cat. I don’t now—I think I just feel a little let down. Defeated in a way. I’m sorry.”
“It’s perfectly okay to admit you’re disappointed, Jolene. You’re allowed that.”
“I know I am. I just don’t like to be a downer.”
“That is not a word I would ever use to describe you. The opposite, in fact. But it’s not your job to cheer everyone up. I know you think it is, but you’re only one person and you’re allowed to have bad days, too. Entitled to them, even.”
She knew he was right, but she didn’t like to admit it.
“How about you let me help turn your day around? Just because it started off not so great doesn’t mean it needs to end that way.”
Jolene perked up, if only a little. “What do you have up your sleeve, Luke Handley?”
“Oh, just a little something, but you’ll have to wait to find out,” Luke said as he gave her shoulder a light squeeze. “Be ready at seven o’clock and wear your warmest winter gear. Maybe that Olympian sponsored sub-zero jacket of yours.”
And with that, just a small sliver of hope returned within Jolene and she knew she had Luke to thank for it.
20
Luke
LUKE WAS EAGER for his lunch with Kiara, if only for the fact that after it he could send her merrily on her way back down the mountain to Kernlyville. She’d thrown a huge monkey wrench in his ranch hand respite just by showing up in Merrylark. His main goal in staying at the lake house for the week was to relax and take his mind off of the tumultuous year he’d had. He wanted to finish out the season on a positive note, but that wasn’t possible with Kiara around, requesting his attention. Whatever she needed to speak with him about, he prayed it would be a quick and relatively painless conversation, though conversations with Kiara were rarely those two things.
“Sorry I’m late!” Like a tumbleweed, Kiara swirled into the restaurant and slid into the red vinyl booth, tucking her purse next to her on the seat. She looked over her shoulder and surveyed the establishment. “This place is certainly…quirky.”
“Sal’s is the best.”
That wasn’t entirely true. The service was slow and the food just so-so. Luke felt a combative mood creeping up in him merely by being in Kiara’s presence, and that wasn’t exactly fair. He’d have to try a little harder to keep the peace.
Kiara picked up a menu. “Did you order already?”
“Yep. Got you a Cobb salad.”
He wasn’t sure why he’d ordered Kiara’s meal for her. It had been their routine back when they were together and something in him—either instinct or familiarity—made him do it again without any real thought. “She’ll have the salad with nonfat dressing on the side. No croutons.”
“Perfect. You always did know exactly what I liked.” Kiara beamed at him. Her eyes crinkled at the corners in a way that seemed so sincere he couldn’t make sense of it. Even still, Luke didn’t trust it. Anyone could appear genuine by saying all the right things and smiling politely. However, actions were so much louder than words.
“Luke.” She paused after saying his name, just staring at him. If he’d been eating, he would’ve thought he had something on his face. “Luke,” she repeated, more softly.
“That’s still my name.”
“Listen, I know me showing up here is just about the last thing you expected.”
“Just about.”
“Honestly, I wasn’t going to. I’d talked myself out of it close to a hundred times. But I knew this was the right thing to do, even if it was difficult to do it. Even if you didn’t want to see me. Even if you wouldn’t see me.”
Luke wished she would’ve tried talking herself out of it just one more time. One hundred and one times might’ve been the magic number.
“I’ve made mistake af
ter mistake in my life lately, Luke. But this—this is my attempt to change that.” Reaching over, she unlatched her purse and pulled a white envelope from within it. She slid it across the table.
Seeing his name in her perfect handwriting made Luke swallow hard.
“You don’t have to open it right now. In fact, I’d rather you not. But I wanted to get this into your hands and I figured if I mailed it, it would just end up in the trash.”
“Probably so.”
“See? I do know you, too, Luke.” She was trying hard, Luke had to give her credit for that. “Anyway…I know it won’t magically make everything right between us, but maybe it will help things feel a little less wrong.”
“I’m not sure how that’s possible, Kiara. You left me. I promised my life to you, and that wasn’t enough. I’m not sure how anything in that envelope will change any of that. Unless it’s some time machine where you can go back and redo the past, I honestly just don’t see how it can fix anything. You hurt me, Kiara. A lot.”
“I know,” she said through silent tears that began to trickle down her rouged cheeks. She dabbed at them with her fingers. “I know I did.”
“I loved you—at least it felt like love at the time.” Luke shrugged. “I don’t know. Deep down I know it’s for the best that things turned out the way they did. At least I got to see your true colors before the wedding day.”
“That’s just the thing, Luke. Those aren’t my true colors. At least I don’t want them to be. I’m hoping what’s in that envelope will help you see me in a different light.”
It wasn’t in Luke’s nature to stay bitter. In truth, it had felt unnatural to hang onto his anger toward Kiara for this long. His heart wanted so badly to forgive her, if only so he could move on with his life without her hold on it. To be free of the hurt he experienced each time he thought of her.
“I’ll read it.” He picked up the envelope and tucked it into his shirt pocket. “But I can’t promise it will change anything.”
“The fact that you were even willing to have this conversation already changes everything for me, Luke.”
He didn’t know how to interpret that so he was grateful for the distraction of their food brought to the table. He was halfway into his cheeseburger when he could feel Kiara’s eyes on him without even needing to look up to verify. When he finally did lift his head, she was staring at him, almost dreamily.
“Doesn’t this feel good, Luke? Just the two of us again, eating together like we used to. I mean, not necessarily at a restaurant like this particular one, but just being together, doesn’t it bring back anything for you?”
“Kiara—”
“Don’t you ever wonder what things would’ve been like if it had all worked out differently? Don’t you ever think about us? What might’ve been?”
It bothered Luke how she spoke of their life together like she didn’t have any say in their breakup.
“Kiara, I’m falling in love with someone else.”
Kiara’s eyes went wide. “Oh.” She gulped. “Not what I was expecting.”
“I wasn’t expecting it either, but it’s happening. In fact, falling is the wrong word. I’m in love with someone else,” Luke said. He felt something unfurl in his chest by verbally acknowledging his feelings for Jolene. “She’s kind and funny and wonderful and every time I learn something new about her, I find more reasons to love her.” He reached for the envelope. “So maybe you should take this. I’ve moved on, and I’m really happy about that. I hope you can understand.”
“No. No, you should keep it.” Kiara nodded toward the envelope. “I’m happy for you, Luke. I can’t say I’m not jealous, but that’s my problem, not yours,” she admitted. “Do I happen to know the lucky lady?”
“Yeah. You’ve met her.”
Kiara smiled. “Well, I hope she realizes just what she has in you, Luke. You deserve happiness. More than anyone.”
“So do you, Kiara.”
“I wouldn’t be so quick to say that.” Kiara shook her head. She pushed around a lettuce leaf in her bowl with her fork. “I deserve something, but it’s not happiness.”
“Kiara, I forgive you.”
Kiara’s head snapped up, her eyes colliding with Luke’s. “You do?”
“I do. I don’t think I realized it until just now, but I actually forgive you. For a long time, I wanted you to experience the kind of pain I felt when you called off our wedding, but being here this week has made me see things differently. There’s no sense in holding on to anger. It doesn’t do you any good and it sure doesn’t do me any good.”
“I can’t tell you what a relief that is to hear, Luke. I never thought I’d hear those words from you. But I don’t think I’m ready to forgive myself. Not yet. It doesn’t feel right.”
“Grace never does. It’s unnatural. Unjust. But it feels really, really good to give it. You should try it.”
Kiara sat back against the booth, looking at Luke with scrutiny. “This place has changed you,” she said. “Not that you needed any changing, but it’s brought something out in you that I don’t remember from before.”
“This place. These people.” Looking out the restaurant window onto Glenn Street, Luke felt the pang of homesickness at the thought of leaving Merrylark in just two short days. “Honestly Kiara, I don’t know how I’m ever going to leave.”
“So don’t.”
“I’m beginning to feel like I won’t be able to. I can’t imagine life anywhere else.”
“Anywhere else?” Kiara asked, her penciled eyebrow arching inquisitively. “Or with anyone else?”
“Both,” Luke admitted.
“I know I’m probably the last person you want romantic advice from, but if you truly love this woman and see a future with her, then you need to do everything in your power to make things work.” Kiara looked up as the waitress to came to refill the water glasses on the table. She waited until she left before saying, “Speaking from experience, if you don’t, it just might be the biggest regret of your life.”
Gathering her purse, Kiara pulled out her wallet and tossed a twenty-dollar bill onto the table. Luke didn’t expect her to pay for her meal, but when he reached for his wallet, Kiara waved him off.
“I should get going. I’m heading back to the lake house to gather my things, but should be out of your hair by later this afternoon. Thank you again for meeting with me, Luke. I know it came as quite a surprise.”
“You don’t have to rush out of town, Kiara. You should stay and enjoy Merrylark. This place really is amazing.”
“I don’t doubt it is.”
Luke slid out of his side of the booth to stand, leaning in to give Kiara a hug before she left. She held on longer than he would’ve, but he let it be, knowing this goodbye was more for her than it was for him. What he didn’t expect, however, were her lips suddenly on his. It took his body a moment to react, not out of hesitation, but the pure shock of it locking him in place. Finally, snapping to his senses, he pushed away.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
“I’m so sorry, Luke,” Kiara stammered. “Old habits die hard, I suppose.”
It sounded more like an excuse than an apology, but he wasn’t going to give her a hard time about it.
“It’s okay, Kiara.” He pressed forward for another hug, this time sure to release her quickly. “Take care, okay? And happy holidays.”
“Happy holidays to you, too, Luke. Always.”
With that, Kiara gathered her composure and her things and walked out of Sal’s, glancing over her shoulder as she nudged the restaurant door open, throwing one last wave in the air as the final chapter of her life with Luke closed for good.
21
Jolene
NORMALLY, JOLENE WOULD wear the same scarf throughout all of winter. Her only requirement was that it keep her neck warm, and if she found one that did that sufficiently, she’d wear it all the way into springtime.
But today she felt like searching for a ne
w scarf, something to freshen up her tired wardrobe. She doubted Luke would even notice, but that was alright with her. Sometimes a girl just needed to treat herself.
Determined to bring a little more joy to her challenging morning, Jolene made a concerted effort to wear a smile on her face, even if she didn’t necessarily feel like it. She’d found that sometimes you had to fake it until you made it, so she did just that as she walked down Glenn Street. With every returned smile from a neighbor or passerby, Jolene’s own grin felt that much more genuine. By the time she opened the door to her favorite little clothing store, Ivy’s Dress Shoppe, she was beaming.
“Jolene! Merry Christmas! Haven’t seen you in ages!” Ivy, a tall redhead with a smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose, shouted from behind the cash register. She stepped out to rush over to Jolene and wrap her in a hug. “What brings you in today? Can I help you find anything in particular?”
“Just looking for a new scarf, but I see you’ve gotten a store-full of new inventory since my last visit.”
“We have. Mostly cocktail dresses for holiday parties and New Year’s Eve, but I did just get a shipment of the softest gloves you will ever feel. One hundred percent cashmere. Come on over here and see for yourself.” Ivy grabbed Jolene’s wrist and led her to a display near the glass windows at the front of the store. Gloves of all colors and textures lined the tabletop, looking like frosted mitten sugar cookies lined up on a cookie sheet. Picking up a teal pair, Ivy slid one onto Jolene’s hand. “See? Isn’t that luxurious?”
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