by Haley Travis
I got up to make some herbal tea, settling back down on the couch to create a calm, focused mood as I lit a vanilla candle, then picked up my special silver and purple pen.
Why did I want a man in the first place? Out of all of the thoughts that flooded my mind, the ones that stood out seemed so frivolous, but I wrote them down anyway. The feeling of my nice pen across the thick paper was almost like meditating.
– I want him to make me feel unique and precious and girlie. I want to feel protected. Safe.
– I want to be one of the most important people in his life, and for him to be one of the most important in mine.
– I want him to touch me in a way that makes the entire world disappear.
My handwriting became messier as the pen moved faster.
I need him to kiss me hard, deep, and make me feel like we’re the only people on the planet. I need him to make me forget to be shy and anxious, and take over completely. I want him to teach me everything. I need to feel his arms around me, and...
My eyes fell closed as I pictured Kellan’s lips. The thought of him kissing me was just too much. Too huge. Too...everything.
CHAPTER FOUR
* Kellan *
Sitting at my favorite small table between the bar counter and the front window, I settled in with a coffee and my laptop to get some paperwork done before the lounge picked up. On Fridays, there was always the same small crowd of people who snuck out of work early and came out for a drink and some pub grub.
I had an office in the back, but I liked to be around to say hello to people and keep an eye on things. It was always a laid back vibe, but staying observant was the only way to keep on top of what people were genuinely looking for in a lounge.
After catching up on the week’s supply orders, and scheduling shifts for the next week, I sent a few texts to keep my staff updated.
Every single time my phone made a noise, my heart lurched, hoping it was Allie. I was dying to see her pretty little doll face again.
There was something about her that was just so precious. Delicate. An indescribable part of me wanted to rush in and make everything better for her. Even though I’d sworn off women for a while, she was unlike any woman I’d ever been attracted to.
She was clearly a bit timid. Not the sort of woman who would try to push me around or change me.
To be honest, I wondered if it was something about the men in my family. My mother had always steamrolled straight over any of my father’s decisions, leaving him obviously emasculated and irritated at all times.
Dale had dated a few nice girls in high school, but then as soon as he met Cheryl, his entire life changed and he no longer had a spine. It was disconcerting.
I didn’t think that would ever happen to me, but the last girl I dated a year ago started hinting that she wanted to get serious and wanted me to change certain things about my business.
I’d like to think I’m entirely open to suggestions, but this lounge was perfect for cocktails and snacks. Deborah had wanted to turn it into some kind of dance club. It seemed like she wanted to impress her friends by having some input. It didn’t make any sense. The second I saw she was becoming pushy, I had to end things.
I wasn’t going to have my business ruined by some casual girlfriend. And I was never going to have my life change direction on a dime for anyone.
Several years before Deborah, I dated Tara for only three months before she began talking about moving in together. Hell, no. I felt terrible for ending it, but I just couldn’t stand being bossed around by anyone.
Allie couldn’t be like that. I was sure of it. She radiated sweetness. Every time I closed my eyes, I could picture her…so soft and adorable. Instead of asking her to dinner and possibly freaking her out, I should have kept her with me to talk for a while longer.
Why didn’t I ask for her number?
If she was shy, there was no way she was going to call or text me first. I’d probably blown my one shot since I’d never seen her here before. I hadn’t thought to ask the name of the place where she worked, or anything that would give me a clue how to find her again.
Opening a web browser, I went through the bookmarked page with the information about last night’s singles event. The organizer’s email was right there. Would it be unforgivably creepy if I contacted them asking for Allie’s email?
Staring into space, I considered it, as my eyes tracked my bartender Jackie’s movements as she unloaded the dishwasher, quickly drying glasses and putting them away. Turning back to my laptop, I made a note to order a dozen more martini glasses with the clear and purple stems. Then my ears pricked up.
“Come on, Allie.”
A girl with straight dark hair was pulling someone in the door. “Look, it’s a woman behind the bar. He’s not even working tonight. So let’s get a drink.”
Allie came in behind her friend, looking around nervously. As soon as she saw Jackie behind the bar, her shoulders lowered, and her lips relaxed. “Just one drink,” she said softly.
Her friend led them to the table directly in front of mine. As Allie slipped off her coat, hanging it on the back of the chair, she turned toward me and actually gasped.
“Hi,” I smiled. “Nice to see you again.” Her friend’s head whipped around to stare at me.
Snapping my laptop shut, I stood up and came toward them. “Since Jackie is still setting up the bar, is there anything I could get you ladies?”
“Allie said that you make an incredible orange spice martini.”
I held out my hand. “Kellan. I’m the owner here.”
“Christine,” she grinned.
We both shot Allie a glance. She was biting her lip nervously, her fingers twitching on the table.
Christine looked up to catch my eye, then glanced to the ceiling in a half eye roll. I appreciated her dragging Allie back to see me, but hoped that it wasn’t making her too nervous.
Holding out my hand to Allie, I leaned in to speak softly. “I can’t stop thinking about you. If I make you two a couple of martinis, will you promise not to disappear on me again?”
She nodded as I gave her hand a little squeeze.
“I’ll be right back. Two martinis, my treat, coming right up. ”
Going around behind the bar, I gently shoved Jackie out of the way by her shoulder. “Martini emergency. Clear the decks.” Since we got in each other’s way so much on busy nights, we had to make light of the fact we were always in each other’s space.
“Whatever,” she said dramatically, holding up her hands. “I was just about to make more coffee anyway.”
She went to the far end as I whipped up another special concoction, pouring it into two martini glasses. Catching Allie’s eye, I flashed her a wink before coming over to their table.
“A little something fancy to start the weekend off right,” I smiled.
“Wow, thanks,” Christine said, sniffing the liquid carefully.
“Thank you,” Allie said, looking up at me through her long dark lashes.
“Are you hungry?” I asked.
“No, we already ate, thank you,” Christine said.
“Cool. Well, holler if you need anything else.”
I sat back down at my table behind Christine, opening my laptop. It was tricky to pretend to stare at the screen while sneaking glances at Allie as she sipped her drink.
The girls chatted a bit about some guy Christine was dating, and how he was much better than the last few. Just as I was attempting to force myself to actually get some more work done, a phone rang.
“Hello? Oh, hi, Kyle.” There was a pause, then Christine jumped up laughing, swigging the rest of her drink. “I’m on my way.”
“Thanks so much for the martini, it really was excellent,” she said, turning to me. “You’ll keep Allie company for a while, right?”
“Absolutely.”
Allie grabbed her wrist, but she jerked it away. There seemed to be an intense but brief conversation communicated through vario
us intensities of glaring, then Christine left.
“Come sit with me,” I said, clearing some room on my table. “I just have a few more minutes of work.”
Allie grabbed her things and moved to sit across from me while I pretended to work. She sipped her martini so delicately, making me far too aware of those perfect lips.
She pulled a notebook from her purse, writing quickly. It was nearly impossible to concentrate on the bar’s fruit order when I really wanted to know what she was jotting down. Finally, I snapped my laptop shut.
“What are you writing? Please tell me it’s all of the ways you’re thinking of asking me to walk you home.”
Her light, sweet laugh was enchanting. “It’s my intention journal,” she said softly. “I write things as if they’ve already happened. It’s supposed to make you believe that things are possible, so you’re more likely to act on them when they actually happen.”
“Does it work?”
Her hair bounced slightly as she nodded. “I think so. At least, it helps me focus on things more clearly so that I’m less nervous all the time.”
The last thing I wanted to do was make her nervous, but I had to keep her with me.
“Listen, it’s pretty clear that Christine dragged you here to see me,” I said gently. “If you’re uncomfortable with that, I could call you a cab. I don’t want you to feel like you’re held hostage.”
“No,” she said quickly. “It’s just…”
She looked so fragile that I needed to put her at ease. Holding out my hand on the table palm up, I held my breath until she took it, flashing me that stunning little smile.
“Let’s just hang out for a bit,” I said. “How does that sound?”
She nodded eagerly. “Sure.”
“So, tell me a few things about yourself. What do you do? What are you into?”
The way her gaze drifted around my face, my shoulders, my arms, was utterly intoxicating. “I work at the university bookstore.”
My sexy librarian fantasy flitted through my mind, but I tried to focus on her soft smile. “What did you take at school there?”
“English lit. They’re only supposed to hire students, but I persuaded them that they needed staff members who would be there for more than a few years. Then I sort of...encouraged them to hire me as a manager.”
“That is extremely cool. You must love books.”
“I read a lot before, when I was going to school, but now it’s a bit out of control,” she laughed.
“I read a lot too, but mostly online. Science, nature, psychology articles.”
Her eyebrows raised slightly. “Really? That’s neat.”
Her eyes darted to the left as she looked around the space. “So, you’re not a bartender here, you own the place?”
“I own three places, actually,” I said, stroking her hand gently with my thumb. “The Duke Lounge belonged to my grandfather, Arthur Duke, and he sold it to me for a ridiculous deal. Then I found two more small pubs in neighborhoods that were chill, but on the edge of becoming trendy, so I snapped those up for a steal as well.”
“Taking over the city one bar at a time,” she grinned.
“I think I’m going to stick at three for at least a year, then we’ll see what happens,” I said. My head jerked down as I grabbed my phone, checking the date. “Wow. I hadn’t even realized that today is the third anniversary of my taking over this place.”
Allie squeezed my hand, looking at me with genuine excitement. “Congratulations! That’s amazing. Are you doing anything to celebrate?”
“I wasn’t really planning on it.”
Her bottom lip thrust out as she made a face. “I think It’s important to celebrate milestones. Happiness is earned through the accomplishment of goals. Then once we reach those goals, if we sustain them, we have to mark the continuation of those successes.”
I loved that she spoke with passion. Screw my vow of staying single for a while. I wanted this gorgeous girl. Being drawn to her so intensely had to mean something. This strange prickle of fire every time I looked at her wasn’t normal.
“You’re right. Okay, what is some tiny thing that we could do to celebrate?”
“Well, I’ve already had my one drink for the night,” she laughed, glancing at her empty glass. “But is there some rare drink that you save for yourself for special occasions?”
I grinned, then looked around the room. Some of the regulars here tonight were definitely beer nerds, and I couldn’t let them know about my secret stash.
Packing up my laptop, I jumped up, stashed it behind the bar, and then cleared Allie’s empty glass. “Follow me,” I said, taking her hand as I led her across the room, then downstairs to the basement storage room.
“Don’t be scared,” I said, instinctively tucking her against my side as we went down the hall. “I swear that this is a holy mission, inspired by monks.”
Her eyebrow raised, but she stayed silent as I unlocked a door and led her into the room. Allie’s soft gasp as I turned on the light made me laugh so loud that it echoed across the old stone walls.
CHAPTER FIVE
* Allie *
“Holy crap,” I whispered, looking around at shelf after shelf of wine bottles, liquor bottles, and stacked cases of beer.
“It’s holy, but it certainly isn’t crap,” Kellan laughed, walking to the end of the large room and punching a code into a locked cabinet.
He pulled out a tall beer bottle with no label. “This is made by monks, and they don’t actually export it. Every year, I have a guy who picks up a bottle or two from the monastery when he makes the trip out there. This one has aged five years already.”
He held up the bottle to show me. “This is Belgian Trappist ale – the Westvleteren 12 yellow cap.” Those deep blue eyes locked on mine as he asked, “Do you like beer?”
“I’ve only had average beer, and didn’t really like it,” I said. “But I’d love a little taste.”
Kellan led me to the opposite side of the room to a small table with two wooden folding chairs. He pulled out two special glasses that were a strange chalice shape, and split the bottle between them.
“We need to let it rest and open up for a minute before we try it,” he said.
Kellan pulled his chair over so that he was sitting right beside me. “Allie, you’re absolutely right. We should celebrate the little things.”
He slowly reached out his hand to take mine where it was resting on my thigh. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.”
“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he said gently, inching closer. “Am I a bad person for being glad you didn’t find anyone at that singles event?”
“Hey, maybe I’m a bad person for thinking that adults don’t need to play musical chairs,” I laughed.
I loved how easily he made me laugh, but he also made me feel funny. It was surprising how relaxed I felt around him. And it was outright shocking how roughly my heart was hammering in my chest as I found myself staring at his lips. I was nervous that he was going to kiss me, but terrified that he might not.
He released my hand, bringing both of his palms up to caress my face, then tangle in the back of my hair as he drew me toward him.
Those perfect lips brushed gently across my forehead, then down the bridge of my nose. His deep eyes flashed as he brought our mouths close together. “Do you want me to kiss you?” he breathed.
The second I began to nod, our lips caressed each other in a kiss so gentle it was soothing. Sweet.
My hands circled his shoulders as I felt his fingertips massage the back of my neck. “You’re so beautiful, Allie,” he murmured against my mouth. “Whatever you’re looking for in a man, let me be that for you.”
Pure lusty heat radiated through my veins as my body took over. My lips parted, our arms tightened, snuggling closer. My breath began to hitch as I felt my tight nipples brush against his chest.
Kellan lifted me so that I was sitting in his lap, our bodies curled toget
her as he held me. A rigid pressure against my hip spoke volumes as he murmured, “You’re the sexiest girl I’ve ever met.”
It had never occurred to me to speak at a time like this. My mind was blank except for the desperate sensation of needing him to touch me absolutely any way he wanted.
Kellan’s hand slipped down my back, then up underneath my shirt to trace along my spine. A tiny moan escaped my throat as I felt his smile against my lips.
“Do you like it when I touch you, Allie?” he asked softly, kissing a lazy line along my jaw, then the side of my throat as his hand slipped up to swirl his fingertips between my shoulder blades.
