by Frank Carey
She whistled. "My God. You have thousands of nanorobots protecting your ass, yet they allow you to step in shit at the drop of a hat. Are you sleeping with her?"
"Excuse me?"
"You have a daughter, so you know what I'm talking about. Are you and Priscilla having relations of the sexual kind?"
He turned beet red before quietly answering, "Yes."
"Are you taking precautions?"
"She's not human and I'm not Katalan."
Marta finished her beer, then took his and finished it as well. "Is your Knowledge on Demand thingy running?"
"Always."
"Logash galactic seeding project."
"Huh... Oh my!" he said as the data about the Logash and their attempt at seeding the galaxy with their DNA 2,000,000 years ago flashed through his mind. He looked at Marta. "Is it possible?"
"Have you met my husband, the elf, and our daughter who has my eyes and his tail?"
"But... Wow!"
"Now, let's not but the horse ahead of the cart. She might just have the flu. Katalans are not human, so don't try to explain their actions based on human norms."
"Right... What if she is pregnant? Am I going to get my ass kicked by her father for knocking up his daughter?"
"You really should write fiction. No, Stenosh is not going to kick your ass."
"You know him?"
"Of course. He's the Katalan Ambassador at Large and an ex-Space Marine. I've met the whole family at one official function or another." She snapped her fingers. "I forgot, the whole Kitra clan is on station attending a diplomatic get-together. Damn, I need to get a dress..."
"Katalan courtship rituals," Gabe said to no one in particular.
"Excuse me?" Marta said, more than a little confused.
Gabe just stared off into space for moment. "This station has virtually the same amenities as a large city, right?"
"Sure. What do you need?"
"A well-stocked butcher."
Marta raised an eyebrow. "Planning a barbecue?"
"Something like that."
"Well, there's Clenock's place down on level 47. He's supplies all of Director Devlin's parties."
"Good. Can you take me there?"
"Are you sure? You've only met a fraction of the League's races and Clenock is rather unique."
"I was a New York City cop. New York invented 'Unique.'"
"Have it your way. Be prepared, Clenock is a Wombat."
Gabe's eyes glazed over for a moment before he exclaimed, "Oh my!"
CHAPTER FOUR
Gabe and Marta stopped in front of two large doors, each twelve-feet tall and eight wide. A sign above them declared "Welcome to Clenock's House of Meat."
"Clenock's one of the really big Wombats, isn't he," Gabe asked as he referred to the data streaming from his Knowledge on Demand system.
"I've seen bigger, though not many," Marta replied. "Working on the Cube does require some semblance of calm, though."
"Right." He reached up and turned a nob which caused both doors to retract into the walls.
Stepping through, Gabe saw a room filled with holotables and wall-mounted holoframes projected 3D images of cuts of meat from various prey species found throughout the League. "I'm surprised y'all still eat animals," Gabe said.
Marta shrugged. "There were attempts at weaning the meat eaters off their need for beast, but you really can't fight millions of years of evolution. Sure, a lot of vegetarians found a way to substitute, but for the most part, the common folk like their steaks. Nowadays, we embrace the idea by making sure the animals are treated well while alive and dispatched with little or no pain."
"Or just eaten alive," a booming voice replied as a bus-sized creature with six legs, rippling fur, and enough fangs and claws to make a saguaro cactus proud walked into the room. "My name is Clenock, and I am the proprietor of this establishment. How may I help you?"
"My name is Marta McMurphy and this is my grandfather, Gabriel Adon. He wants to buy some meat."
Clenock raised a massive eyebrow. "You're kidding, right? I know human anatomy and you two are the same age, so how can he be your grandfather?"
"Cryostasis and a mad scientist," Gabe said while intently watch a two-inch thick T-bone steak spin in front of him.
"Cryo... Adon... McMurphy! By the sacred volcanoes of Malthusa, it's an honor to meet you both! General McMurphy, your husband, Ambassador Irithyl, was in here the other day and told me all about DCI Adon." He reached over and gently shook both their hands, with his claws retracted, of course.
"Lucien is such a gossip," Marta said with a slightly annoyed edge to her voice.
"It's all good kiddo. So, Clenock, what would you recommend for a betrothal gift for a Katalan bride?"
"A Katalan betrothal offering... Hmmm. Who are the mother and father?"
"Rista and Stenosh Kitra."
"Nice. Good taste in beast. I assume you're the suitor..."
"That be me."
"Gabe, are you sure about this. I know you've got that damn computer in your brain, but..."
"Is there a reason why I shouldn't marry her?"
"If this is about the baby..."
"It's not about the baby. It's about her and me and... I wish I could explain."
"Good answers," Clenock said as he ducked through a doorway. Gabe assumed it led to a storeroom. "I have just the thing. A Katalan beast from the finest herd on Katala. It is rumored that only five of these are dispatched in any given year." He emerged holding a portable temporal stasis chamber about ten feet long and three in diameter. "Normally, this would be used in a royal ceremony, but Princess Buttercup ran off with her boyfriend..."
"Buttercup?" Gabe asked.
"Things get lost in translation," Marta noted.
"Oh. How much is this priceless specimen," Gabe asked as he peered through the inspection window.
Clenock rattled off a figure.
Marta choked.
Clenock handed her a water.
"Thanks. Are you insane? I could refit my daughter's freighter for half that. You've got to have..." She stopped when Gabe handed over a jet black credit card. "Is that an..."
"Obsidian card?" Clenock said as he took it and ran it through the scanner. "I thought only royalty had these."
"Two hundred years of back-hazardous-duty pay along with a retirement fund which was never cashed in. Oh, and then there's a life insurance policy. And did I mention the reward I got posthumously for saving the Earth?"
Marta gaped. "So, you can afford this?"
"And your daughter's freighter." He turned back to Clenock. "You sound like you're familiar with Katalan betrothal rituals."
"I am."
"Can you help me with the second part?"
"This isn't enough?" Marta said while drinking more water.
"No," Gabe replied. "According to the League database, the ritual is comprised of two parts. First, the suitor--me--must show that I can feed the family if need be. The second part of the ritual involves showing her parents that I can provide for her and our offspring for years to come."
"And I have just the thing," Clenock said while handing Gabe a brochure. He read through it and smiled.
"Perfect. I'll take it."
"With a frighteningly toothsome grin, Clenock rang up the purchases before handing Gabe the receipt to sign. Gabe went glassy-eyed for a moment before writing something along with his signature.
Clenock took the paperwork and beamed when he saw what Gabe had written. "Your generosity will not be forgotten, DCI Adon."
"Call me Gabe. Can you have this delivered to this address in an hour?" He handed the butcher a slip of paper.
"Done and done. Anything else I can do for you?"
"That's it," Gabe said.
Then it was nice meeting you both. Have a wonderful day," Clenock said before heading off to tend to another customer.
Once outside in the corridor, Gabe headed back to his quarters with Marta in tow. "You do know I'm coming wit
h you on this fool's quest."
"I figured, though I'd hate to keep you from your general's duties."
"I'm waiting for a call from the team on Destiny. I'm hoping we can speed things up at their end."
Gabe's comm bleeped. He set the unit to speaker. "Go for Gabe."
"This is Priscilla. Got a minute?"
"Sure. Look, I'm sorry about having to pull rank on you, but I..."
"You knocked me up, damn you. I quit!" she growled before killing the connection.
"Well, that answers that question," Marta noted. "Now what?"
"Computer, location of DS Priscilla Kitra?"
"Working... In her quarters."
"Location of Rista and Stenosh Kitra?"
"In the quarters of DS Priscilla Kitra."
Gabe recalled the Katalan betrothal ritual. "Computer, connect me with Rista Kitra. Mark the call high priority."
"Working..."
"Hello, this is Rista,"
Gabe let loose with a stream of sounds which would make the love child of a steam organ and a tiger proud. Marta listened in amazement.
"Are you sure you're human, Gabriel? We will see you in one hour. Good bye." The comm went dead.
"You can speak Katalan? I didn't think anyone other than a Katalan could do that."
"It’s amazing how fast a few hundred thousand nanorobots can reconfigure a larynx."
"Eeew! I did not need to hear that."
"Sorry. Come on, I need to change.
###
Gabe opened the apartment door, then headed to the bedroom to change while Marta headed to the kitchen to get a beer. "Love what you did to the place," she said while popping the top off a bottle of Earth ale.
"What do you mean? I haven't done anything," he replied through the open door.
"I noticed. Want a beer?"
Silence.
"Gabe, are you OK?" When there was no reply, she put down her beer and ran into the bedroom where she found a shirtless Gabe staring at a mirror. "Damn, you scared the plark out of me." She noticed the look on his face. "What's wrong?"
"I found the artifacts," he replied as he turned to face her.
On his chest were multi-colored designs which slowly changed in a way which reminded her of snakes in a pit, though these snakes were all colors of the rainbow. Over his heart, a snarl grew, then retracted as if following the beat of his heart. Marta grabbed a scanner from the dresser and ran it over the design. The design didn't react. "I'm getting nothing but you and your nanobots. What ever that design is, it isn't something the scanner can pick up. How does it feel."
"I don't feel anything from the design. It's like it isn't there."
"We need to get you down to the sick bay and get this thing checked out.
"Not until after I make things right with Pris. I've been running around with this thing on my chest since Guardian gave me the last artifact. If it was dangerous, I'd be dead by now." He slipped on a black tee-shirt, then put a black silk shirt on over it. "How do I look?"
"Radiant. May I suggest the black pumps to finish the ensemble?"
"How about black loafers," he replied as he slipped on a pair of shoes. He looked at the wall chrono. "We need to go..." He looked over at Marta and saw her wearing a chrome blue shirt of his. "Now you're going to borrow my clothes?"
"Why not. You could never look this good in it," she replied with a twirl before heading to the door. "You're going to be late unless we get a move-on."
CHAPTER FIVE
Pris paced the room like a caged animal while Siv and her sisters watched. As she paced, she muttered epitaphs in Katalan while her younger sister, Maysha, translated into League Standard.
"That stupid, irresponsible, human male got me pregnant! How dare he. I use the best birth control on the market, yet he gets me pregnant," Maysha said.
"And you weren't even there when it happened," an older sister noted.
"Shush, Sallya, she might hear you and start shifting blame," another said.
"I heard that!" Pris growled. "It was those damn nanorobots of his. They did this!"
"Told you so," Sallya noted.
Pris sat down on the bed and wept as Siv handed her a tissue. "Pris, Gabe loves you. I bet he'll be here any minute with a ring in one hand and flowers in another."
"Why would he do that?" Maysha asked. "I thought humans were omnivores. At least he could bring a steak."
The room went quiet as they all stopped and listened. "Who the hell would pound on a station door. This place is up to its ears in door chimes," a middle sister, Kresta, asked.
Every ear in the room--except Siv's, of course--swiveled toward the bedroom door. "By all that's holy," Sallya said, "that's Katalan."
"And it's the start of the courtship ritual!" Kresta said.
"No, no, no, NO!" Pris yelled as she flew off the bed and bolted for the door.
"I'm going with her," Siv yelled as she ran after her friend.
"We're right behind you!" Sallya yelled as she and the rest of her sisters ran out of the room, then nearly ran over Siv and Pris as they had come to a complete stop in the living room. Standing in the doorway next to General McMurphy was a human reciting the courtship ritual in Katalan, a feat thought impossible by every anatomist in the League. Sallya began translating for Siv's sake.
"Rista and Stenosh Kitra, I have come to your home to ask permission to court your daughter, Priscilla Kitra!" Gabe said in a strong voice.
"We Katalans are a hungry lot. Have you brought us an offering of sustenance so that we may feast?"
Gabe turned and took the stasis unit from the two shocked handlers, both Katalan. They knew the tube and its cargo weighed almost a metric ton, yet Gabe took it from them as he would a bag of groceries. He placed it gently on the floor in front of Rista. "The finest beast from the finest herd on Katala. With a dressed weight of 800 kilos, it should feed your family and still have leftovers."
Stenosh read the label and nearly fainted. He stood up and whispered something in his wife's ear which put a smile on her stern countenance. "Acceptable, though barely." She looked up at the two handlers. "Take this to the kitchen and tell the chef to prepare a feast.
They bowed, then retrieved their load while giving Gabe a fear-filled look.
"An expensive gift. Do you have sufficient funds left for a dowry?" Stenosh asked.
"NO! There will be no Dowry..." Pris stopped when her mother looked at her.
"Aye, mistress. I shall be able to provide for Pris and our children for years to come." He reached into a pocket and withdrew a sheaf of papers wrapped in leather that one of the handlers had given him. This he handed to Stenosh, as was proper since Katalan males were responsible for house finances.
Stenosh took the sheaf, opened it and read it. Then read it again. With a shaking hand and eyes wide, he gave it to his wife.
With a quizzical look, she took and read it. "Five hundred head of Grade 1-A herd beasts?!" she whispered. The other family members, including Pris, gasped.
"What?" Siv asked. "What did I miss?"
Sallya leaned over and explained. "Even a daughter with Priscilla's stature rates, at most, only a hundred head. Five hundred head is a number beyond that of a royal dowry. Gabriel's offer will make every news feed on Katala."
"I guess he likes her," Siv said. Sallya cuffed her.
Rista handed back the sheaf, then took Gabe's hands in hers. "You have proven yourself..."
"NO!" Priscilla yelled as she broke away from her sisters. "I am not chattel!" She informed her parents before turning to Gabe. "As for you...Ohhhh!" She stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her.
"Pris!" Siv yelled as she ran after her friend with all of Pris' sisters in tow. This left her parents in the awkward position of not knowing quite what to do.
"Ummm, this has never happened before," Stenosh said, "at least not with our other daughters."
"Well, Priscilla is a little headstrong," Rista added.
Marta gave
the two of them the "Be quiet, you morons," look before putting her hand on Gabe's shoulder. Her comm took that moment to bleep. "Dammit! Excuse me." She stepped away. "Go for McMurphy... What? Say that again..." A scream interrupted her. "Hold!" she yelled as she turned to watch Gabe crumple to the ground. "Gabe!" She ran over and took his pulse while talking into her comm. "Medical emergency. I need a team to Priscilla Kitra's quarters. Move!"
Rista knelt and ran a scanner over his body. "He's alive. Stenosh, grab a pillow off the couch and bring it here."
"What happened?" Marta asked while she held her grandfather's hand.
"He was fine, then he said, 'No!' before collapsing." She looked at the scanner. "These reading make no sense. His nanorobots are quiescent, yet his bloodstream is filled with fear hormones as if he's experiencing something frightening. Heart rate and blood pressure are spiking."
"Thank God you're a nurse. You know about his background?"
"Pris told us about his condition when they started dating." The door swung open to let the medical team in. "He's in shock," Rista informed them, "but his nanorobots have gone into standby mode."
The lead medic ran his scanner over Gabe's unconscious form. "I don't dare give him anything and risk lighting those suckers off," he said. "We don't need him to start slinging rockets around the room." He tapped his badge, activating its built-in comm unit. "This is Dr. Mathias. Connect me with Gloria. Emergency priority."
"This is Dr. Aymar-Taggart. Go for emergency priority."
"Gloria, this is Mathias. I've got Gabriel Adon down here in the Katalan Ambassador's quarters. He's unconscious, but exhibiting high hormone levels indicative of a severe fight-or-flight reaction. His nanobots are asleep, and I really want to keep them that way. Suggestions?"
"You got an IV in?"
"Two."
"Run glucose wide open. They'll think they're in a refueling cycle."
The doc nodded to one of his team members who immediately hung a bag. "Get him to Sick Bay, stat!"
"I'll meet you there," Gloria said over the comm before disconnecting.
Mathias looked at Marta. "That was close. Whatever he's seeing could have led to him unleashing all sorts of hell. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a patient to attend to."
