by Abigail Agar
“Lady Seton, very nice to see you again,” Peter greeted.
“And you, as well, Lord Hawthorn. I trust that you had a good rest?” she asked.
“I did, indeed, thank you,” he said.
“Father, Mother said that she will be down as soon as possible and, Lord Hawthorn, she apologises for the delay,” Lady Seton said.
“There is no trouble,” Peter said.
Just then, the housekeeper came into the parlour.
“Lunch is served, My Lord,” she said, curtseying to her employer.
“Ah! Wonderful. Now, Lord Hawthorn, you must come and indulge in the wonderful food that we have prepared for you. I trust that you are a man who enjoys a wide variety of delights?” Lord Seton asked.
“Yes, of course,” Peter said, knowing full well that the feast would be the same as any other feast. Too much food that cost too much, all in an attempt to impress someone with whom the family wanted a connection.
Just as they reached the dining hall the younger girls came in, giggling, toward them.
“Oh! Is this Isla’s husband, Father?” the youngest asked.
“Not yet, Mary, but soon enough,” Lord Seton said.
Peter bowed and the two laughed again, curtseying as they had been well-trained to do.
“And where is Miss Cloud? She did not bring you both?” Lord Seton asked.
“She said that she is not feeling well. But she made us promise to come straight here and we did, even without her help,” the older one said.
“Very well. Now, come, have a seat,” Lord Seton said.
“But we miss having Miss Cloud, Papa! I would prefer if we ate with her every day, even if it was in the school room,” she said.
“Cecile, you are a lady. Miss Cloud is just a governess. You must refrain from making such foolish wishes,” Lord Seton said.
It was painful to hear the remark. If she was just a governess, why had she been dressed like a guest at the party? There had to be something to explain it.
“I know, Papa, but she is so much fun. Amy McFly, the girl with a Scottish father, told me that her governess is terribly cruel. She was so jealous when I got to tell her that Miss Cloud lets us play as we learn sometimes,” Cecile said.
“Oh, good heavens. Did she play that counting game with you again?” Lord Seton asked.
“Yes, Papa,” Mary said.
Lord Seton shook his head, clearly thinking it a waste of time.
But Peter couldn’t think about whatever it was that disappointed Lord Seton. He could only think about the fact that he wished he was nearer to Miss Cloud. He wished that he could join her for lunch as well.
But when he looked up at Lady Seton, he reminded himself.
This was the woman that he was to marry.
Chapter 5
Beatrice was terribly bored sitting alone in the school room. However, she had to do anything possible in order to avoid Lord Hawthorn. The last thing she wanted was to have to explain herself.
What she was truly nervous about was the possibility that anyone, including Isla, might have noticed that she was behaving rather awkwardly around him.
Of course, Isla had been just as enthralled by Lord Hawthorn’s friend as Beatrice had been by the man himself.
No, it was far better that she remain alone for now.
“Oh, Beatrice, you are being so foolish! Why can you not just be at ease?” she asked herself under her breath.
Beatrice hummed as she cleaned up the room, trying to distract herself. She had no idea what to do. She only knew that she had to keep busy and stay away from Lord Hawthorn.
However, she was growing tired. Tired of sitting in there, hiding. Lunch would be sure to take another hour and the last thing she wanted was to have to stay put for that long. Then again, even after that there would be plenty of conversation once they went to the parlour.
She would not be able to escape it all by hiding out in the schoolroom. It was better that she retreat to her own bedroom where she would at least be able to lie back with a book and enjoy the afternoon. Getting a bit of rest would do her good and she knew that Mary and Cecile would be busy with the family and their handsome guest.
Bearing all that in mind, Beatrice decided to make a run for it.
She looked out into the hall and saw that there was no one there. Slowly, cautiously, she made her way out and towards the staircase. However, before she was able to ascend, Lord Hawthorn came around the corner.
Beatrice gasped in shock. She had not been prepared to see anyone, but the fact that it was Lord Hawthorn only made it worse. She had no choice now but to face him.
“L-Lord Hawthorn,” she greeted, curtseying.
“And…Miss Cloud, is it?” he asked.
“Yes, My Lord. Miss Beatrice Cloud,” she said, telling him her full name and immediately wondering why she had done so. It wasn’t as though he had asked.
“It is very nice to meet you, Miss Cloud. Formally, I mean. I know we met last evening, but…I did not know your name then,” he said.
“Yes, I suppose not. Anyway, now you know it,” she said, laughing awkwardly.
“Indeed, I do. I am glad to. You are under Lord Seton’s employ, I take it?” he asked.
“Yes. The governess,” she said, the word feeling strange on her tongue now that Lord Hawthorn knew the truth.
“His daughters certainly seem to love you. I did not hear them speak of anything but you as I was dining just now,” Lord Hawthorn said.
“They are good girls, certainly. They indulge me a great deal,” she said.
“That sounds like a humble way of saying that they adore you and you are an excellent governess,” he said.
Beatrice smiled, shyly, but said nothing. She wanted him to leave her so that she could be alone in her embarrassment and simply run off as she was so prone to doing of late. Having him there meant that she had to remain and be polite.
It also made Beatrice consider what life was going to be like once he married Isla.
Surely Isla would move to be with him, and what then? It wasn’t as though it would be acceptable for Beatrice, the governess, to come over as a friend. Would Lord Hawthorn ever allow something like that? It was most unprecedented.
But she had to forget about things like that. She was not from the same station as Isla or Lord Hawthorn and she never would be. She had to let that go. She had to accept that she was going to lose her dearest friend as a result of this marriage .It was the first time she had considered that fact.
“I wish that you could join us for lunch. Cecile—or maybe it was Mary, I am not sure which—said that you were feeling unwell,” he said.
“Oh! Oh, yes. I am. I am not ill, just a-a headache. Nothing much,” Beatrice said.
“That is such a shame. I would have loved it if you had been able to sit with us and enjoy lunch. The girls are really very entertaining. You must have your hands rather full in teaching them,” Lord Hawthorn said.
Beatrice laughed.
“You should see them during their lessons. Some days it is a wonder that I am able to convince them to even sit,” Beatrice said.
“I am sure that they will be glad for your diligent tutelage in due time,” he said, looking at her with deep meaning in his eyes.
It made Beatrice’s stomach flutter.
Despite his friendly demeanour, Lord Hawthorn looked embarrassed as well. She couldn’t blame him; after all, he was a great earl, whereas she was simply a governess. And yet, neither had known to whom they were really speaking.
“Well, I do hope that it was a nice enough evening for you. And how excited you must be to be marrying Lady Seton! She is such a lovely woman. I am sure that you noticed that, of course, but if I may be so bold as to lend my opinion on the matter, you ought to know that she truly is a good woman,” Beatrice said.
“I have no doubt that she is,” Lord Hawthorn replied.
“As I said, she is not someone who sees people through their station in life.
I am sure that you realise that, of course, considering the fact that she convinced Lord Seton to allow someone like a governess to attend a grand party,” Beatrice said, explaining the question she was sure was on his mind.
“Oh…right, of course,” Lord Hawthorn said.
“Anyway, I am glad for the two of you. You shall be most happy together, I have no doubt,” Beatrice said again. She was painfully uncomfortable, but hoped that she was at least finding some modicum of success in hiding it.
“Well, thank you. I trust that we shall be happy,” Lord Hawthorn said. But his expression was not one of certainty.
They were quiet for a moment, but Lord Hawthorn was not walking away and Beatrice sensed that he wanted to say something more. Unfortunately, however, he was not speaking. Whatever it was that he wanted to say, it appeared that he could not find the words to actually say it.
It left her feeling as though she had to be the one to speak instead.
“I…I should also apologise to you,” she said.
“To me? Why? Why would you think that you must give any apology?” he asked.
“Well, I did not know who you were. I could tell that you were a nobleman, but had I known that you were Lord Hawthorn I would have afforded you the respect due to the man soon to marry my dear friend. I mean…the daughter of my employer,” Beatrice said, quickly correcting herself.
It was hardly proper for her to be friends with Isla and she didn’t know if Lord Hawthorn would now judge her for her station. If he did, he might judge Isla for having a friend who was simply a part of the household staff. She could not put Isla in a position of having to explain herself for something like that.
“Please, do not think of it like that. I am just a man. Honestly, I do not think of myself as anything special. You mustn’t treat me any differently. You were perfectly lovely last evening,” he said, fighting a sudden discomfort that overtook his face.
“Well, I am still sorry. I did not intend to make you uncomfortable, if I indeed did so,” Beatrice said.
“Not in the least, Miss Cloud, you were perfectly polite,” he said.
“And I hope that you did not feel deceived by my station. I know that it is uncommon for an employee to attend such a party. I did not say anything, because it did not come up. I never introduced myself,” Beatrice said.
“No, and I did not introduce myself either. I hardly mind that you said nothing, but I do wish that I had thought to tell you my name,” Lord Hawthorn said.
“I ought to have considered it as well,” Beatrice said.
“Well, you might think this is humourous, but I actually thought that you were Lady Seton so I didn’t even think to have such a conversation and tell you my name. I just believed that we were both aware of one another’s identities,” he said with a nervous laugh.
“Y-you thought that I was Lady Seton?” she asked.
“I did. I knew that she was a regal, kind, and beautiful woman who had brown hair. Actually, I don’t know that I knew even that much,” he said with a laugh. “But there was every reason that I thought it was you.”
His words shocked Beatrice, knowing that he had thought that she was actually Isla. To think that he could believe that she was a great lady like that?
Not only that, but it meant that he had spent all of that time with her because he believed that he was going to marry her.
The realisation crept into Beatrice’s cheeks, turning them crimson. Embarrassment washed over her anew.
With that Beatrice gave a courtesy, quickly, and rushed up the stairs as quickly as she could.
She ran up the stairs, not giving it a moment’s pause. Although he may have considered it a strange reaction, she could think of nothing else to do. After all, what if he saw the emotion in her eyes? What if he thought that she was upset?
No, it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. She had run away like a child and that was that. Lord Hawthorn probably thought that she was completely mad or something and it was too late to change that.
She lay on the bed, grabbing a book and hoping that she could get lost in it. It was not as easy to do as she would have liked, but Beatrice couldn’t allow herself to be so overcome by everything that had just happened. Nor could she be distracted by the evening before.
She needed to be happy for Isla. Isla was such a decent woman that Beatrice was excited for her to be married and, up until the horrible reveal the night before, Beatrice had been incredibly excited to see the man that her friend was going to marry.
She wondered how Isla felt about Lord Hawthorn, but couldn’t bring herself to ask. She had hardly seen her friend since the party, as Isla was so busy with her mother and father trying to get her in view of the earl.
Either way, Beatrice determined that she would focus on her own dreams and on making sure that Cecile and Mary were well looked after. That was the way that she could help her family and support them.
Pining for a man that she would never have been with—even if he had not been meant to marry another woman—was a waste of time.
With that in mind, Beatrice closed her eyes and tried to sleep.
Chapter 6
It was going to be a long day. Another long day.
It felt as though every day was long when Peter was meant to be spending his days with Lady Seton.
It was not that he disliked her. In fact, she was a lovely woman. He might have even cared about her a great deal had he not allowed himself to develop feelings for another woman first.
However, Peter was determined. He would make a future with Lady Seton. He would appreciate her positive attributes, and he would recognise them at every turn.
As the coach arrived at her estate, Peter hoped that he would not have to see Miss Cloud. It would be too great a distraction.
He turned out to be fortunate enough as Lady Seton came out upon his arrival, pulling delicate, lace gloves over her hands.
“Good morning, Lord Hawthorn,” Lady Seton greeted him, curtseying as he bowed in kind.
“Good morning, Lady Seton. How are you?” he asked.
“I am very well, thank you,” she said, a lovely smile on her face.
“I am glad to hear it. Are you looking forward to our walk in the park?” he asked.
“Very much so, thank you. I do enjoy getting out now and then,” she said.
“And I, as well. I was glad that you agreed to it,” Peter said.
They got into the coach and begin to make their way towards Hyde Park. The day was beautiful and the weather was ideal for it. At least they would be able to enjoy a bit of fresh air as they got to know one another.
“Have you been in London for long?” Lady Seton asked. “My father tells me that you spend most of your time out in the country.”
“Yes, I do prefer it there. Fresher air. Not so much smog. But I have been in London for three weeks. I come often these days, trying to continue the affairs of my father,” he said.
