by Abigail Agar
“In that case, I cannot fault you for choosing it. But I do understand that it must have been difficult to only have two options available.. I apologise for my complaints about my work,” he said, trying to be reasonable with her.
She looked up at him with those dreamy eyes that were so lovely. She was poised and kind. And he was ashamed for noticing it so frequently.
“You have nothing to apologise for. And I am sure that Lady Seton is going to be an excellent help to you in your efforts,” Miss Cloud said.
“Yes, I have no doubt,” he replied in a hurry.
“She told me that you also have a number of lovely things planned for once you are married. I know that she is particularly looking forward to the trip to Wolverhampton,” Miss Cloud told him.
“Really? I am glad to hear that. I was not sure if she would be enamoured by the idea or if she was simply humouring me,” Peter said, suddenly very interested to know what else Lady Seton had thought and was looking forward to.
“She is truly excited. You will come to learn that she certainly enjoys new things. She has a quietly adventurous side that she often keeps at bay. But I trust that you shall see it in time. And, if I may be so bold as to recommend it, I do know that she is particularly keen on going to Brighton,” Miss Cloud said.
“Brighton? Really?” he asked in surprise.
“Yes, I know that for most noblemen, that is hardly an adventure. It is a weeks’ trip every so often. But Lady Seton has never been able to go. As you know, her family goes to Italy every so often, or they travel to Lockshire when they wish to visit their ancestral homes there. But she has never been to Brighton and is rather desperate to do so,” Miss Cloud told him.
“My goodness, you are a wealth of information. Thank you for this. I would not have thought to consider it,” Peter told her.
“I understand. For you, it is probably nothing at all. But I am always happy to give you ideas. Not that you need my advice or anything, it is only that I know Isla—Lady Seton—so well,” she said, adding the last part in a rush.
“I am more than happy to hear your advice. I really do appreciate it. You are her closest friend and that is important to me. I hope you know that we shall always have a place for you, should you like to come and visit us once we are married,” Peter said.
He made the invitation out of recognition that Miss Cloud and Lady Seton were dear friends, but, after having offered it, he realised how difficult that would be for him.
He would find it a great struggle to be around Miss Cloud if she was in their home. Especially around his future wife, with whom he was trying so hard to fall in love. What had possessed him to think that he could make such an offer to Miss Cloud like that?
It was a foolish thing. But it was too late to take it back now.
“Thank you for that, Lord Hawthorn. I confess that it will be difficult to be so far from Lady Seton. But I also wish to respect that the two of you are going to be newly married and will not want such guests as an old governess,” she said, laughing in a self-deprecating way that nearly broke his heart.
“I just mean that you will always be welcome,” Peter said.
“And I greatly appreciate that,” she replied.
Miss Cloud looked down with those lovely eyes and he could see that she was as shy about his offer as he ought to have been in making it. Nevertheless, he tried to look bold and at ease.
However, in that same moment, Peter looked up and saw that, just across the street, Lord Seton was speaking with an associate and walking by.
Panic flooded him. He could not think why. After all, he was only giving a polite greeting to the governess of Lord Seton’s estate. Why should he not speak with her?
And yet Peter knew that he had spoken to her for this long because his intentions were not purely polite. He was interested in her. He liked her more than he ought to.
If Lord Seton saw the two of them talking as they had been—or for as long as they had been—he might be angry or suspicious. It would not have been good for Peter or for Miss Cloud.
Peter turned back to Miss Cloud and smiled, clearing his throat as he did.
“Well, I suppose I ought to be going. And I know that you must be very busy,” he said.
Her expression faltered a bit and he could see that his rush to end the conversation had somewhat offended her, but Miss Cloud nodded like a dutiful servant.
“Yes, My Lord, certainly,” she said, curtseying.
He bowed and tried to calm his racing heart.
“I hope that you have a wonderful evening, Miss Cloud. Truly,” he said, glancing once more to see that Lord Seton had still not noticed them.
“Thank you, and you as well,” she replied before her feet began to take her away from him.
Peter looked around at the busy streets and was hit with the realisation that he had been quite a fool.
Why had he stood there, talking with her, for such a long time? It wasn’t something that he ought to have been doing. Miss Cloud was a beautiful young woman who worked for his betrothed. That was clearly an improper way to behave.
No matter how he tried to justify the fact that it was a mere conversation, he didn’t think it was possible that he would be able to convince anyone else of this.
Peter rushed to his office where the centre of his business was conducted and decided to try and throw himself back into his work in order to remain preoccupied. He was utterly relieved that, to his knowledge, Lord Seton had not seen him.
“Lord Hawthorn, good afternoon,” Mr. Hopper greeted him.
“And you, Mr. Hopper. How are things running? Are we doing all right? What about the shipment from the East Indies? Has there been any news?” Peter asked.
“Indeed. We just got word from the gents over at Whalem and Co. that our ship was to set out three days after theirs. Theirs have only just arrived, so I am sure that we are going to be all right. Within the next few days, we should be seeing them,” Mr. Hopper said.
“Very well, very well,” Peter said.
They had been anxious that a ship had been lost as sea and Peter hadn’t wanted Lord Seton to hear anything about it. After all, it would mean a great deal of financial loss, for both Peter and for the company.
Lord Seton might not take news like that so well, worrying for his daughter and that she would not be cared for properly.
It was difficult to try and discern the best steps to take in maintaining his relationship with Lord Seton of late. After all, the man had been a good friend of his father’s and then, upon Peter’s father passing away, Lord Seton had been close by, helping him manage the household affairs until Peter was independent.
But now that Peter was engaged to Lady Seton, her father had been behaving differently. He was always eyeing Peter with expectation. There were new pressures, new duties, new responsibilities.
How was he meant to be a good husband to her when he was constantly worried that her father was going to be watching him for any mistakes? Was it like that for other men who had fallen in love and been married? Or other men whose families had arranged their marriages?
Or was it only because of the particularly close relationship that he had with Lord Seton?
Peter wondered about it, but he didn’t want it to be his greatest anxiety.
For the moment, he had plenty to worry about.
He had a ship that still had not arrived.
He had a woman that he was interested in despite the fact that he was engaged to another.
He had a dear friend who seemed to be in love with his betrothed. And Peter was beginning to wonder if she loved Andrew back.
He was not certain how to handle all of these individual issues, but Peter knew that he had to be strong and hold firm to the fact that he could only control his own actions.
And his own actions would be lived out with integrity. He was going to be a dignified man who behaved according to what was good and right.
That meant putting aside any feelings th
at he had for Miss Cloud. It meant being loyal to Lady Seton. And it meant being diligent to the commitment that he had made to her and to her father, even if it was not quite what he wanted.
And it wasn’t.
Chapter 11
Beatrice ran the brush through Cecile’s soft, brown hair. Each stroke was a reminder that she was glad to be here, in this house, with such lovely charges and such a kind family.
Beatrice had done nothing at all to deserve the opportunity that she had, working for an employer who truly took her needs into consideration the way that Lord Seton had. And, in many ways, it made her feel quite guilty.
She had heard so many terrible stories of young women who were caught up in dreadful homes, with poorly-mannered nobility. Men and women who treated them as property rather than as people.
It was strange to think that she had escaped such a fate when so many others had not. What was it that gave her such a blissfully easy life compared to others?
Cecile seemed to be nodding off, her face in her hands, barely noticing Beatrice’s presence. It had always been a bit of a joke, the fact that Cecile could fall asleep anywhere.
But when Beatrice heard the voices of Lord and Lady Seton she remained silent, listening intently to the couple who stood in the hall, speaking in aggressive whispers.
“I don’t know what we ought to do about it. How can I reason with her?” Lady Seton asked.
“You are a woman. Are you not meant to have some sort of intuition about things like this? She is your daughter, you know. It only stands to reason that you ought to be able to discuss these matters with her,” Lord Seton said.
“Whatever you may believe, I am not a magician. How am I meant to talk reason into a child as stubborn as Isla?” Lady Seton asked.
Beatrice was uncomfortable hearing this. Particularly because Isla was hardly a stubborn or disagreeable woman. Like anyone, she could be set in her ways at times, but she was not half as bad as Lord and Lady Seton were making her out to be.
“Well, as it is, she has said nothing. It is only that I am able to tell and if I am able to tell, I have little doubt that the Earl of Willoughby can tell,” Lord Seton grumbled.
Beatrice sat up straight and her hand paused, mid-stroke.
Why were they talking about Lord Hawthorn? What was the matter? What did any of this have to do with Isla?
“Oh George, you worry too much. Yes, Isla may seem indifferent to the earl, but I do believe that we are overreacting. Honestly, she is a good girl and she will marry whomever we tell her that she must marry. As it stands, she knows that the Earl of Willoughby is to be her intended. Do you really believe that she is going to refuse him? That she would refuse us by doing so?” Lady Seton asked.
“I cannot fathom what it is that takes place in the minds of young ladies, Audrey. If you believe that you can talk some sense into her, I would be most grateful. Otherwise, I can’t think what it is that we should do about this matter,” Lord Seton said.
“I never said that I believe I can, but I shall try if it is that important to you,” Lady Seton said.
“I fear that it is. I simply don’t know what else may be done,” he said.
Beatrice was confused. She hadn’t known that Isla was indifferent towards Lord Hawthorn. Was this why she had not been more enthused about the engagement? Or, rather, the fact that her enthusiasm had been dry and without emotion?
“I wouldn’t worry about it, George. Honestly, Lord Hawthorn seems interested enough, doesn’t he?” Lady Seton asked.
“Oh, yes, certainly! And why wouldn’t he be? Isla is beautiful and she is my daughter. He would have no reason at all to refuse her,” Lord Seton said.
Beatrice was bothered not only by the fact that Isla had been broken down to simply her beauty, but also that she had to keep her feelings at bay to think that Lord Hawthorn liked her. It was only right that he should feel that way towards her friend and Beatrice was glad for Isla’s sake. Nevertheless, it stung to hear the words.
“Well, if we are confident that he likes her, what is there to worry about? Isla would never reject the notion of marrying him, and I think you are overreacting. I think she likes him well enough,” Lady Seton said, sounding as though she was trying to convince herself more than her husband.
“You are only saying that because you don’t want to have to talk to her about the matter. Be honest, Audrey. You know she seems indifferent,” Lord Seton said.
“Has she said anything to you?” Lady Seton asked.
“Of course not,” he replied.
“I am sure that she would have said something if she didn’t like him. She would have asked you to end the match, at the very least. He is a handsome, rich, kind man. There is no reason at all that she shouldn’t want to be his wife,” Lady Seton reasoned.
“I suppose you’re right. I am hardly convinced that she wants to marry him, but she has said nothing of it and, perhaps, I am exaggerating the matter,” he said.
“Well, then. In that case, let us simply move on. We must be reasonable and assume that she is happy enough,” Lady Seton declared.
Beatrice felt very guilty that she had overheard the conversation, but there was nothing she could do about it now. When she heard the sound of Lord and Lady Seton’s feet wandering into the distance, she was relieved that they had not seen her sitting there, brushing Cecile’s hair.
It was a wonder that she was fortunate enough to have escaped their notice, but Beatrice was too distracted by everything that they had said to be able to think further on the potential consequences of eavesdropping.
Later that afternoon, as Beatrice was finishing up another lesson with the girls, Isla came and sat with her, leaning back and twirling a lock of brown hair in her fingers.
“Are you excited for your wedding?” Beatrice asked, thinking it was a perfectly reasonable subject to mention.
“Oh, yes, of course,” Isla said, smiling. There was a slight uneasiness in her tone, but that could have been explained by a number of things and Beatrice did not want to make any further assumptions.
“He seems like quite a nice man,” Beatrice said, trying to encourage her friend.
“Yes, he is. Honestly, he is a very good man. And my mother and father are quite eager for the match,” Isla said.
“Yes, I have noted as much. Your father and Lord Hawthorn are quite close, are they not?” Beatrice asked.
“Indeed, they are. I know that my father is looking forward to my marriage to Lord Hawthorn, but I cannot tell you how greatly. It feels, at times, as though he would care more for having Lord Hawthorn for a son than having me for a daughter,” Isla said with a laugh.
“You cannot think that,” Beatrice said, seeing the hurt in Isla’s eyes.
“Well, whatever it is, I know that it will be a grand match. They are looking forward to the marriage and I can hardly blame them. I am fortunate that Lord Hawthorn is a decent man. Of course, he has also inherited an extremely prominent title and a vast fortune,” Isla said.
“I see,” Beatrice replied, a little stiffly.
“It is hardly a wonder that they want me to marry him,” Isla said. “Our family would have everything we could ever dream of.”
“And what about you? Do you really want to marry him?” Beatrice dared to ask.
Isla turned to her, her face light and carefree. Beatrice wasn’t sure if it was genuine or not, but she looked happy enough.
