Tales of St. Austin's

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Tales of St. Austin's Page 6

by P. G. Wodehouse


  V

  Letter from Richard Venables, of St Austin's, to his sister Mrs JamesAnthony:

  Dear Dolly--Thanks awfully for your letter, and thank Jim for hismessage. He's a ripper. I'm awfully glad you married him and not thatrotter, Thompson, who used to hang on so. I hope the most marvellousinfant on earth is flourishing. And now about Uncle John. Really, I amjolly glad I did say all that to him. We played Rugborough yesterday,and the wicket was simply vile. They won the toss, and made two hundredand ten. Of course, the wicket was all right at one end, and that'swhere they made most of their runs. I was wicket-keeping as usual, andI felt awfully ashamed of the beastly pitch when their captain asked meif it was the football-field. Of course, he wouldn't have said that ifhe hadn't been a pal of mine, but it was probably what the rest of theteam thought, only they were too polite to say so. When we came to batit was worse than ever. I went in first with Welch--that's the fellowwho stopped a week at home a few years ago; I don't know whether youremember him. He got out in the first over, caught off a ball thatpitched where Uncle John had been prospecting, and jumped up. It wasrotten luck, of course, and worse was to follow, for by half-past fivewe had eight wickets down for just over the hundred, and only youngScott, who's simply a slogger, and another fellow to come in. Well,Scott came in. I had made about sixty then, and was fairly wellset--and he started simply mopping up the bowling. He gave a chanceevery over as regular as clockwork, and it was always missed, and thenhe would make up for it with two or three tremendous whangs--a safefour every time. It wasn't batting. It was more like golf. Well, thiswent on for some time, and we began to get hopeful again, having got ahundred and eighty odd. I just kept up my wicket, while Scott hit. Thenhe got caught, and the last man, a fellow called Moore, came in. I'dput him in the team as a bowler, but he could bat a little, too, onoccasions, and luckily this was one of them. There were only eleven towin, and I had the bowling. I was feeling awfully fit, and put theirslow man clean over the screen twice running, which left us only threeto get. Then it was over, and Moore played the fast man in grand style,though he didn't score. Well, I got the bowling again, and half-waythrough the over I carted a half-volley into the Pav., and that gave usthe match. Moore hung on for a bit and made about ten, and then gotbowled. We made 223 altogether, of which I had managed to getseventy-eight, not out. It pulls my average up a good bit. Ratherdecent, isn't it? The fellows rotted about a good deal, and chaired meinto the Pav., but it was Scott who won us the match, I think. He madeninety-four. But Uncle John nearly did for us with his beastlywalking-stick. On a good wicket we might have made any number. I don'tknow how the affair will end. Keep me posted up in the governor'ssymptoms, and write again soon.--Your affectionate brother, _Dick_

  PS.--On looking over this letter, I find I have taken it for grantedthat you know all about the Uncle John affair. Probably you do, but, incase you don't, it was this way. You see, I was going, etc., etc.

 

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