He stroked his hand down my back. “For the first time since I was cursed, I can say that wretched woman’s name. Beira. And I want you to know that I didn’t marry her by choice. It was a trick of hers to secure her place on the throne. I’m not even sure that it happened. The night it supposedly did, she’d poisoned me with wormwood. I woke up to find her next to me, a crown on her head. That’s all I know.”
“And so, you rejected her, and she cursed you out of anger?”
“Yes, but… you need to know that when Beira cursed me, she didn’t have to change much. The worst part of the curse was probably being cast out of Mag Mell. No, it was that I couldn’t love. She watched me, always—she sent her little will-o’-the-wisp flying around my head to make sure I never loved anyone. But that didn’t matter till I met you. And the fucking spy figured it out, didn’t it?”
“Apparently so.”
“But the curse didn’t make me evil, because I already was. I just had this hunger… The ancients said that I had an appetite as large as one lip to the earth and the other to heaven. Insatiable. Shahar was the same, although she always controlled it better.”
“Why do you need to tell me this now?”
“Because I want you to understand why I’m becoming a god again. When people sacrificed to me in that cave, they were feeding my hunger for worship. For love that I couldn’t have. Because gods become warped when we fall to Earth. And yes, the curse made me a bit worse. But I’d already been throwing people to monsters for my entertainment. I’d already enjoyed ruining people’s lives for fun. I was already broken from the moment I slammed into the ground.”
Tears pricked my eyes. I understood that he wanted to feel whole again. It was just that he was the one who made me feel whole.
I took a deep breath. “Okay. But everything rests on what is about to happen.”
He brushed a tear from my cheek, and it was only then I realized I’d let myself cry. “You are their queen,” he said, “and they will know it, Aenor. Just as they knew I was their king in Mag Mell. The land feels it in its soil, and your people will know it. And I feel it as solidly as I feel the ground beneath my feet. You are queen here already.”
His confidence did actually make me feel better. I pressed my head against his muscled chest, knowing that this was only temporary—that I only had him for a little while longer, just a few more hours to hear his heart beating. I wanted to remember how this felt.
The sound of the door swinging open turned my head, and I took a step back from Salem.
Lyr stood in the doorway with two fae women, each of them carrying handfuls of dresses. The two fae ladies looked nearly identical, with vibrant violet hair threaded with flowers and alabaster skin. They bustled in. The two pale girls, Brigid and Aria, were indistinguishable from one another. But apparently, I wasn’t their main focus right now, because they were staring at Salem, blushing. Already, I was irritated with them.
Lyr stayed in the doorway. “I’m working on assembling everyone outside the Tower of Salt, where the statue of Caradoc stands. Once you are dressed, Brigid and Aria will take you to join us. It’s just across the courtyard, on a stone dais.”
I bit my lip, wondering how Gina was doing, if the frost had spread much further. “Okay. Let’s get this going.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Lyr asked.
I tugged the top of my dress open to see how far the magic had spread, and a tendril of fear wound through my gut. I had about an inch of skin left before it all ended. “It’s literally our only idea, Lyr. It’s the only option.”
He rubbed his hands together, looking lost in his thoughts. “Right. Okay. Good.” He disappeared out the door, leaving the twins behind.
They dropped the dresses on the bed, but their eyes never left Salem.
I unbuttoned my soaked dress and peeled it off. I grabbed a blanket off the bed, drying my body and hair as well I could. Then I plucked one of the dresses off the bed—a stunning creation with a platinum bodice and the most delicate pearly tulle flowing from the waist. It was shades of gleaming sunlight and pale twilight hues. “This one. It’s gorgeous.”
The girls helped me slide it over my head, then shimmied it over my hips. One of the fae girls stepped behind me, fastening the back of the dress while I held up my hair.
“What are you doing here?” one of them asked.
“I’m here to become—”
“Not you,” she said. “I was talking to the beautiful man.”
Salem flashed her a charming smile. “I’m Salem, Fallen God of Twilight, He of the Cursed Name. Lucifer. I’m here to explain that I destroyed the Island of Ys and slaughtered its queen. I took everything you had from you.”
The two girls giggled.
“He’s not lying,” I said a little too sharply.
The girl behind me finished fastening the bodice of my dress. “We weren’t alive then. Anyway, I’m sure you had a good reason, King Salem. Fallen God.”
I made sure Salem saw my eyes roll. “And if anyone is interested, I’m here to pull the crown from Caradoc’s head.”
“Right,” one of them said. “No one’s done it before. Plenty have tried. And you look a bit of a mess.”
The other gestured to my head. “Your hair looks a fright.”
My cheeks were growing hot with irritation. “My mother was considered the greatest sovereign to ever rule Ys, and she spent every day in the same bloodstained wedding dress for hundreds of years. So I think a bit of tangled hair is fine.”
Brigid—or Aria—grew even paler, now the color of milk. “Oh. You’re that Aenor.”
I stood tall. “Can you show us to the statue? We are running out of time.”
The woman nodded mutely, then flashed one last shy smile at Salem before she rushed out the door.
I followed behind them, praying to the gods that this would work—that I would be enough.
Aenor
I stole a glance at Salem as we crossed out of the tower into an enormous courtyard of blue, purple, and yellow wildflowers. True to his word, Lyr had assembled throngs of people on either side of the courtyard, and they flanked a stone path, watching us.
The path sloped upward toward a stone dais, with steps leading toward the statue of Caradoc. It was just as I remembered it—his long robes, his curling hair, and the crown carved on top of his head, engraved with seashells and set with pearls. Lyr stood at the base of the dais, waiting for me, his pale hair dancing in the wind.
Behind Caradoc loomed the Tower of Salt, just like the one in Ys. It towered over the rest of the buildings, so tall it pierced the clouds. Its exterior gleamed with salt crystals, and the beauty of it all made my breath catch in my throat. My nerves were sparking, legs beginning to feel a little weak.
On the outskirts of the courtyard, towers loomed over the grasses, steep-peaked spires straining for the skies. Flowering vines climbed the stones. I’d forgotten how formally the fae in Ys dressed. In the human world, I’d gotten used to jeans and T-shirts. Here, it was all gleaming gowns and velvety suits, hair threaded with flowers and seashells. Alarmingly, nearly all of them were armed with swords, men and women alike. All of them stared at me, frowning. They still thought of me as Aenor Dahut, the wicked woman who’d sunk their kingdom.
Salem leaned in to whisper, “When a sovereign is crowned, the coronation requires a spectacle. We may need to think on our feet.”
I nodded, all too familiar with the concept. I hadn’t seen Mama’s coronation, but I’d heard about it: the pregnant queen in the stained wedding dress, dragging my father’s shattered body through the street behind her. He’d been a tyrant, and the people of Ys had loved her for his complete and utter demise.
But I didn’t have a tyrant to drag through the streets.
The crowd was murmuring as we walked closer to the statute. By Salem’s side, this felt like a strange wedding—somber, and with an undercurrent of dread. Because if this didn’t work, I had about twenty minutes left be
fore the sea god claimed my life.
By the time we reached the dais, my legs were shaking. Salem whispered, “Let me go up there first.”
I nodded, relieved to have a few extra moments before I found out my fate.
The sunlight streamed over him as he climbed up the stairs, and he stood next to the statue of Caradoc, nearly its equal in height. Even barefoot and in a sweater, he somehow looked like a king as he opened his arms wide. “People of Ys, I come to you with a confession. I come to you for penance. I come to you as a prisoner of your true sovereign, Queen Aenor of the House of Meriadoc.”
Murmurs went through the crowd, but when I looked over at them, they still seemed awed by him.
He let his wings spread out behind him, and buttery sunlight glinted off the feathers. The crowd sucked in their breath.
“I am the fallen king of Mag Mell. I am known as the devil, the Lightbringer, Lucifer. Some say I am the source of all evil. And if you want to know who to blame for the fall of Ys, it was me. I slaughtered your queen, Malgven. I used my magic to sink your city. I stole Aenor’s power, and I left you all to believe it was her fault. I drowned your kingdom out of vengeance and rage, because I like to break things and watch them burn. Because that is who I am.”
Lyr stepped forward. “He speaks the truth, as I have told you. We blamed Aenor for a hundred and fifty years, but she was a victim of this monster as well.”
I had the overwhelming urge to explain to everyone that perhaps Salem had a bit of a point, that we’d drowned his sister—but that wasn’t the point of this. Already, I could hear the tone of the crowd shifting, and the whoosh of swords being drawn from their sheaths.
A woman with white hair stepped forward, fury lighting up her face. “Queen slayer!” she shouted. “We must avenge Queen Malgven!”
I took a deep breath, instinctively moving toward Salem as if to protect him, but stopped short. He can’t die, I reminded myself. Not unless I kill him.
I lifted the hem of my dress as I climbed the stairs. This was my time to act regal, to put on a show. What would Queen Malgven have done?
I glanced over at the statue, finding that Lyr had set a little wooden stepstool up for me so I could reach the top. Was this the time to pluck the crown from Caradoc’s head?
But no one’s eyes were on me. They were on Salem.
I stepped in front of him, standing tall though he still overshadowed me. “I bring before you the man who once destroyed our kingdom. He is my prisoner…”
Again… that instinct to explain his actions. But that was not part of the spectacle. Mama would have told them what they needed to hear, but maybe I’d try out the truth.
“For a hundred and fifty years, I’ve lived in exile in the human world, and gods, I miss this place so much. This was my home. The way it smells, the sound of the sea against the rocks. This is my home. And as queen, I will protect it, but I need you all to accept me as your sovereign. I have been hexed, and I need a little bit of your strength.”
Silence greeted me. Then the woman with the white hair lifted her sword and shouted, “Avenge Queen Malgven!”
I felt Salem move closer to me, behind me. He leaned down and whispered, “Machiavelli says the best way to win the love of the people is to publicly execute a tyrant. I am your tyrant. Kill me. Win their love.”
He slipped something into my hand, and I looked down to find the gleaming blue sea glass. I whirled to face him.
This was his plan? What the hells? I wasn’t going to kill him. We’d been over this several times already. And yet—
When he tilted back his head, I understood. I was supposed to sever his throat with the sea glass. It would hurt like a bitch, but he wouldn’t die unless I shoved it into his heart. And the braying mob beneath us didn’t need to know that, did they?
I could hear them screaming for his blood. Mama wouldn’t hesitate. A sacrifice of blood to feed the kingdom. That was how she’d ruled—with death on her hands, to feed the people.
I didn’t want to be like her, but I was running out of time to win them over.
One last spectacle before the crowd.
I brought the sea glass up to Salem’s perfect throat, my hand shaking. The mob was desperate. This was what I had to do. One clean strike across his throat, let the blood spill. It wasn’t in his heart. He would recover in private, away from the angry eyes of the Ysians.
“For Queen Malgven!” I announced. Miraculously, my voice sounded steady.
Except—I couldn’t quite get my hand to move. Not to slit the throat of my mate. Even if my rational brain told me he would recover from this, my primal instincts were stopping my hand from moving. I couldn’t hurt him, because it went against everything in my soul.
But when I heard Salem’s deep, thrumming music beating in my head, I knew I wouldn’t have a choice. He was taking over my mind, and before I could stop myself, I stared in horror as the glass slashed right through his throat.
The cut was so deep that it practically took his head off. His blood spilled over me. His body collapsed at my feet, and his music went quiet in my head. So terribly quiet, like the world had gone silent. Gods, there was so much blood.
It took me a moment to come back to myself, to realize that the world wasn’t quiet at all but screaming. The crowd’s euphoric cries filled the air, ringing off the tower walls. They were shouting my name, shouting my mother’s name.
I looked down at my dress, soaked with claret. My hands were shaking uncontrollably. I knew how I looked to them. An ivory dress, streaked with blood.
I looked like Mama.
But that wasn’t who I wanted to be anymore. I didn’t want a kingdom fed by death.
Salem’s magic still burned in me, and I stared at the sea glass in my hand. I wanted no more of this wretched little thing.
Summoning his fire magic, I heated my palm and melted the glass. I let the blue glass drip from my fist onto the ground. Then I brushed my hands off and glanced back at Salem. I tried to school my features, to keep the look of pain from my face. I still had to prove I was their queen.
I stepped over Salem’s fallen body, trying not to look too long at the deep gash in his throat. The sight of him lying there was just so wrong, something a mate should never see. Nausea churned in my stomach, and I choked down the urge to get on my hands and knees and vomit over the side of the platform.
Instead, I walked around him toward the statue. I forced myself up the little steps, relieved that while I stood behind Caradoc, no one could see my panicked expression. I reached up for the crown, and as soon as my hands made contact with the stone, a surge of energy pulsed through me. I closed my eyes, hearing the roar of the ocean.
Mama’s voice rang out in my mind, so clear it was like she was standing next to me. You’re not fit to rule, my dear one. You were made for other things, but you’re not like me.
I’m not sure I ever wanted to be queen, I told her in my mind. I’m not sure I do now. But I know I’m not rotten. You worried that I was filled with darkness. And I have a dark side, as did you. But strength, like beauty, is painted by shadows… Light on its own is just a blank canvas. And you know what, Mama? I don’t want to be anything like you.
But it didn’t matter what she thought.
The question was, did the spirit of King Caradoc think I was enough?
Aenor
A sort of ecstasy filled my body as I felt the stone shift beneath my fingers. I let out a long, slow breath, daring to open my eyes. As I did, I found before me a crown of platinum, studded with pearls. The mob before me sounded hysterical now, screaming for their queen.
“Queen Aenor! Queen Aenor!”
I lifted the crown from the statue and put it on my head.
As I stepped down, the hem of my dress slid through Salem’s pooling blood. I felt an overwhelming mixture of nausea and ecstasy, and gods, the only person who could calm me was Salem. I needed him by my side—not in the heavens.
I stood before the crowd
, swaying in a delirium, my eyes closed. They kept chanting for me: “Queen Aenor! Queen Aenor!”
The bells of Ys began tolling loudly, echoing off the stone walls. It was a sound from my oldest memories.
It took Lyr a few minutes to quiet the crowd, to explain again that I needed their strength right now. That only the people of Nova Ys could heal their queen, and this was my only chance.
And after a few moments, I felt their strength curling into me through the air. As it did, it was like I heard whispers of their memories, their hopes and dreams. The broken hearts, the desire for greatness. The woman who thought no one saw her, and the man who wished he could speak without stuttering. They all seemed so vulnerable. So normal. These were my people.
When I looked down at my arms, through the thin fabric of my dress, I saw the hex receding underneath my skin. I smiled at the sight.
At last, it had worked. My magic was returning to me, a rush of brine and sea air through my blood. I tasted the salt on my lips. A phantom breeze rushed through the courtyard, welcoming me home.
This was where I belonged for now. And maybe home would have to make up for my shattered heart when Salem left me.
When I looked out at the crowd again, I saw them all on their knees before me, heads bowed.
I swallowed hard as the last of their strength filled my body. “I am so grateful to you. I am so very grateful for this gift of life. I will return soon so I can learn all about you.” I cleared my throat. “I will remove the tyrant’s corpse from our great kingdom before I return to you.”
Truthfully, it didn’t matter what I was saying, because the crowd was chanting Queen Aenor so loudly that none of them could hear me. And thank the gods for that, because I didn’t have a great way to explain that I was running off to heal a human… and to say goodbye to the man I’d just pretended to execute.
I nodded at Lyr, desperate for him to open the portal. Gina needed me now. Not to mention the fact that if we dallied any longer, they might notice that Salem’s neck was already healing.
Sea Fae Trilogy Page 67
