by Maya Nicole
"She's eighteen. We're both consenting adults. It doesn't matter if I'm a teacher or not." His words didn't hold any conviction and fell flat. He must have lay up at night convincing himself of those things.
I snorted back a laugh. "Keep telling yourself that. Trust me, you do not want to fall."
The worst part of falling wasn't losing use of the wings or any special abilities, it was the sudden bombardment of the memories and complete and utter isolation. Most didn't survive beyond the first few weeks, but those of us that did, were broken.
That's probably why the Fallen were trying to kidnap angels. I didn't even want to think about why they were kidnapping angels or what they were doing to them. I had stopped two abductions now and they had probably gotten away with several.
"I think it'd take a lot more than a relationship with a student to lose my wings. Don't you?"
"Just don't murder anyone you aren't supposed to and you'll be fine."
Killing as an angel was strictly forbidden. When we were given an assignment to help a human, it didn't mean taking the law into our own hands. Which is exactly what I did. I was supposed to help a woman flee, not kill her husband, even if he had beaten her black and blue.
"You've tried appealing?" Toby finally looked at me. He had been avoiding looking at me, probably because he felt pity. He sure as hell didn't feel guilty.
When I first fell, he came to see me to check on me. That didn't go so well. Hence why we hadn't seen each other in ten years.
"I gave up after the second appeal." I shrugged. "It is what it is. I'm getting things on track."
A comfortable silence fell over the room. The only sounds were the sips he was taking of his drink. I considered turning on the TV because I certainly wasn't going to be able to sleep now, but then he had to go and open his big-ass mouth again.
I had known the moment would come eventually. Ten years ago when I fell, he hadn't dared ask, especially as I tore up a motel room in a blinding rage.
"What happened?"
He didn't even have to elaborate. I knew exactly what he was asking. I stood and walked over to the kitchen, grabbing the bottle of whiskey that sat half empty on the counter. I sat back down in the crook of the sectional sofa, facing him, leg bent in front of me to give me a barrier. I'd kick his ass if he tried to touch me again. He reached over with his glass and I filled it back up.
"Do you want to know how you died or how I died?" I lifted the bottle to my lips and took a long swig. It burned more than usual tonight.
"Me."
I described the day to him, not leaving out any detail. The day was always vivid in my mind, even after all this time. Down to what we had eaten. What wasn't vivid was what I had eaten for breakfast that current morning. It's funny what the brain holds onto.
"Your body landed on mine. You died pretty instantly, lots of blood. I'm not sure if you landed on me because something threw your body at me or if you dived on top of me. Only you'd know that answer."
He ran his hand through his hair and we both took a drink at the same time.
"And you?"
I let out a pained laugh. "I wasn't as lucky as you were. I couldn't move from the waist down, so I was stuck there under you. It didn't exactly hurt. I was in shock that it was even happening. The pain only started when the snow started falling."
"Fuck."
"Yeah." I took another swig of whiskey and then put the cap back on. "I blamed you for a while."
"For what?" He seemed confused.
"For landing on me. I don't know what I would have done if I had gotten out from under you though. Probably would have been tortured by Krauts."
"It makes no sense." He wiped at his eyes as if he was about to shed some tears. He always was a sensitive bastard.
"What doesn't? It was war."
"I meant that it makes no sense to me that when an angel falls, something so traumatic and painful is given back to them."
"Maybe they figure it's better than sending us straight to hell. I can tell you it's probably not." As I spoke, I looked back over at Danica. I was still trying to wrap my head around that one.
"She's not... evil," he said softly.
"I didn't think she was. Lucifer is Fallen, right? He didn't have his death to torment him. That's probably why they stuck him for an eternity in hell. She didn't grow up in hell, did she?"
"Not literal hell. Her mom died when she was born and her dad could only be around so much. She got kicked out of high school."
I looked back over at her, feeling drawn to her. To make sure she was safe. I felt the tight muscles in my jaw relax and I let out a sigh.
"You feel it too, don't you?" Toby looked at me with a slight narrowing of his eyes, more of a thoughtful narrowing, as if he was running through things in his head. Not a narrowing like he was going to punch me again.
I knew exactly what he was talking about. It was what she had described when she told me what she thought sensing other angels was like. Tingly and almost giddy, and I never felt giddy.
"Yes. What is it?"
I didn't know whether to be concerned with it or accept it as normal. I should probably have been concerned. Even when I was an angel I had felt detached from everyone, missing my old life. My wife. My family. But around her I felt connected. They needed to seriously invest in training angel therapists.
"I'm not sure. There's someone else too, but she doesn't seem to be aware of it yet." He sounded jealous, but also angry. Before I could ask him why, he continued. "He bullies her. Him and his cronies."
"Why haven't you kicked his ass? If I could come to campus, I'd do it. Not like I have anything left to lose."
He rolled his eyes at me and I felt a warmness spread in my chest. This was familiar. Normal. How we used to be.
"He's an archangel. They sent him to us hoping we could acclimate him to how the world works. Plus, he was causing problems. I guess creating an archangel at the height of human times backfired a bit. I see the way he looks at her, yet he does stupid shit to her with his friends. Honestly, I don't even know if he realizes what he's doing, he just follows the other Divine like a lost puppy. And she just takes it and gives it back to them. She's strong, Asher. Stronger than I think she even knows." A dreamy look crossed his eyes but then he seemed to snap out of it and yawned.
"Why don't you go to bed." I grabbed my headphones off the table and turned them on, the Bluetooth connecting to my phone. Music helped me sleep. It was the only way I could sleep, actually.
"You going to be all right?"
"I'm not sure my jaw will ever be the same again, but I'll be fine, brother. Go lay next to your woman."
It took me a long time to fall asleep and at best I got three hours. Worse than usual, but at least not as bad as not being able to sleep for three days straight. That had fucking sucked.
The large metal barn door leading to the bathroom slid open and Danica walked out, looking much better than she had the night before. I had given her a shirt and a pair of sweats with an elastic and drawstring waist to wear after she showered. Her damp hair was gathered around one of her shoulders, making the dark fabric of the shirt even darker.
She looked stunning. Partly because she had my clothes on and there was something sexy about seeing a woman wearing my clothes. I turned away to not appear like I was gawking and filled my coffee maker up. I was probably going to drink a whole pot of it just to counteract all the whiskey I drank the night before.
"Where's Tobias?" Her voice was stronger today, less scratchy.
"He went to grab food. How do you like your coffee?" I grabbed a second mug from the open metal shelf and went to grab the carafe but stopped when I saw the scrunched-up face she was sporting.
"Poured down the drain. You don't by a slim chance have any Diet Dr. Pepper?"
Now I scrunched up my face. Gross. "You fucking drink that shit? And here I thought we were soul mates. I have orange juice, water, and liquor. Unfortunately, I'm out of beer."
&nbs
p; "You sure do have a dirty mouth."
I raised my eyebrows. This was really the first real conversation I was having with her. Last night she was solely focused on her almost-abduction by three now-dead Fallen. I wasn't sure if her words meant she was appalled by my sailor's tongue or if she was poking fun at me.
I decided to test the boundaries a little. "Maybe I should show you just how dirty it can be." I licked my bottom lip for effect.
Her face turned pink and then she sat down on a stool around my stainless-steel bar-height table. "This is a cool place. Where are we, in an old warehouse?"
I took a drink of my black coffee and leaned against the counter. "It's an abandoned factory. There are two units downstairs I restored too that have tenants. I have an industrial chic remodeling business."
I looked around at the large open room. It had taken me several years to finish all the work myself, but it was a good distraction and got out some of my rage. Using my hands to tear down and then restore something helped keep my broken pieces from falling all over the place.
"Construction by day, vigilante by night?"
"Something like that."
The recent influx of Fallen encounters were concerning to say the least. We were a reclusive bunch, not often building long-term relationships, and most certainly not seeking companionship with each other. So the fact that I had encountered two groups of Fallen had me on edge.
Why were they after angels? Why were they using demon blood? Where were they getting the demon blood?
She cleared her throat and I blinked and looked at her. I spaced out a lot if I wasn't doing something with my hands. Luckily that time I was thinking about last night.
"You got into my phone last night." It was a statement. Did she want a response back? Luckily, she continued. "And you went through my photos."
I wish women would just spit out what their words meant. She was clearly unhappy with my intrusion, but just how unhappy? Slap me in the face unhappy? Kick me in the balls unhappy? Did she want an apology?
"I didn't go through your photos. I opened your texts to call whoever was sending you so many. He sent a lot. Did you read them yet? What a stalker. Better watch out for that one." I grinned around the rim of my coffee cup as her face looked a bit murderous. I guess she had wanted an apology. "Look, I'm sorry. I saw it was Tobias Armstrong and I scrolled up only meaning to see the ones he had sent. I was a little bit disappointed they weren't nudes, but they were hot nonetheless."
I was glad the table was between us. "You're an ass. You know that?"
"I am aware of that fact. So you and Toby?"
"Yeah. Me and Toby." She watched me as I refilled my cup. "So, how do you two know each other? I didn't get an answer before you got punched in the face, and since he left you here alone with me, I'm guessing you know each other well."
I laughed and sat at the table on the metal stool across from her. "World War II, same platoon. That's where we both died."
Her eyes went wide and then her expression softened. "I can't even imagine what it's like being in a war zone... and during a World War? Wow."
I expected her to ask more questions, but she didn't. I respected that. Maybe one day I'd tell her about my past life. I stood abruptly and my stool fell over, hitting the concrete floor with a loud metallic sound that made us both jump, and in my haste to flee, I fell flat on my ass over the stool.
Danica rushed around the table and I held up both hands in front of me. "Just give me a minute, okay?"
Where the hell had that come from? Telling someone about my life made my skin crawl. The last time I'd shared my life with someone, they had died, right the fuck on top of me. I shut my eyes and tried to remind myself that I was fine. I was safe here in my home. The home I'd built with my bare hands.
With slightly shaky legs, I stood and righted the stool before meeting her eyes. "I'm sorry about that. Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere."
Usually I could keep myself in check. So much so that I was able to start my own business a few years ago. My workers all knew I suffered from severe PTSD, although they thought it was from Iraq, and on the days I couldn't handle things, they had my back.
Toby chose that moment to walk into my place, a pink box in one hand and a Diet Dr. Pepper in the other. His eyes went to Danica's worried face and then they shot quickly to me, concern etched in them.
"Everything okay?" He put the box and soda on the table slowly. "I got donuts."
It was like one minute there was tension in the air and the next her face lit up like a Christmas tree. She threw her arms around Toby like he had just come back from a long deployment and then they were kissing.
Oh, shit, were they kissing. If I opened the dictionary and looked up the term face-sucking, there would be a picture of them. I'd buy her every damn Diet Dr. Pepper and donut on the face of this planet if she'd kiss me like that.
Before I started thinking of her body pressed against me, her lips opening and waiting for my tongue, I lifted the lid of the donut box and the sweet sugary scent of maple and chocolate hit me right in the face. I grabbed the glazed twist with a hint of cinnamon woven into it and took a bite. A moan escaped my lips. I hadn't had a donut in a while.
Toby ripped his lips away from Danica's and looked at me with a glare as if I was inconveniencing his make-out session right in front of my fucking face.
I swallowed my bite and grinned at Toby's narrowed eyes. Serves him right for making out in front of me. "Want a bite?"
Toby rolled his eyes and then grabbed his own donut before sitting down. "What are we going to do about those Fallen?"
"Well, they are dead now and were disposed of. I didn't see who came and got them. I've searched the vans. There is nothing in them."
"Do you think there are more?"
I shrugged in response. "I guess we'll find out, won't we?"
"They sensed I was an angel. Said something about my wings not coming out when they sprayed me in the face." Danica nursed her Diet Dr. Pepper in her hands. I briefly wondered how addicted she was to it, having asked for it so early in the morning. I wasn't one to talk though. I had a bad habit of my own.
"Wait, why didn't your wings come out?" I looked back and forth between Toby and her.
"I don't have wings." I could tell immediately that it bothered her by the way her mouth turned slightly down and her eyes glossed up.
"Well, mine are bound so they can't come out. I guess we have something in common."
"That's horrible! All fallen angels have bound wings?" She looked back and forth between me and Toby. How did she know nothing about being an angel?
"Yes. It doesn't hurt. Well, until they really want to come out, then it feels like a dull ache in the shoulder blades."
"We should get going after we eat. I need to talk to Sue Whittaker about these attacks so she can get a message to Michael."
I grunted in response, my mouth full of donut. As much as I didn't want to admit it, the company was nice. Especially the brunette across from me, wearing my clothes. Lucky for me, I already programmed her number in my phone.
Chapter Eight
Danica
I stood frozen in front of the brightly colored paper taped to the hallway walls. There were so many, like rainbows leading down every hallway. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? My utter humiliation.
They had photocopied them all, all 'Notice of Disciplinary Action' forms and suspension forms, and plastered them around Uriel Hall. They were all there.
Caused physical injury to another person.
Unlawful use of an illegal substance.
Disruption of school activities.
There were so many in my file over the years that I didn't even remember most of them. I clutched my bag to my chest and made my way out of the building, keeping my eyes on the ground.
How dare they.
How dare they take something that was in my past and put it out there for the world to see? Wasn't it enough that I was here, at
this school, trying?
I threw my bag on the floor and faceplanted onto my bed. I shut my eyes, breathed in deep, and exhaled. I could do this. I'd go back in there and take them all down once classes were in session.
My phone buzzed in my bag and I groaned. Tobias.
He had taken care of me all weekend. We never went on our date. Instead, he cooked for me in his room. Chicken fettuccini alfredo. Salad. Garlic bread. I felt my chest tightening and I swallowed back my tears. At some point he was going to realize that I came with a lot of baggage.
I rolled off my bed and grabbed my phone. Don't come to class. As if that warning would stop me in the first place.
Me: Too late for that. Still want to date a juvenile delinquent?
Tobias: Don't say that.
I turned off my phone and changed out of my uniform. It was a little chilly outside so I threw on sweats and a hoodie. I wasn't technically going to class, so no uniform was required.
It took me most of the morning to take down all of the papers spread around campus. Mainly because I hid between class times. I'd save my brave face for tomorrow. Adults are always saying to just ignore the bullies, but did that actually work? This was something deeper. This was a deep-seated hatred for Lucifer and for me. What had the devil ever done to them?
I wanted to punch each and every one of them in their glowing faces. Or leave. Leaving would be better, but part of me didn't want to leave. One thing was clear, something needed to change or I wasn't going to make it to the end of the semester.
I hid in my room the rest of the day until my last class; independent study in the library. Except now Mondays would be dedicated to peer mentoring. What that entailed hadn't exactly been made clear to me. Or maybe it was, and I had zoned out as Dean Whittaker had droned on and on.
At least my day was going better, especially after the picture Tobias sent me. Normally a dick pic would turn me off, but if anything, it just made me want him more. I'd always laughed at the movies or books where the girl falls head over heels after a few days. I understood now. When it was there, it was just there.
