by Aileen Fish
Soon a slow mixture of icy rain and snow began to fall from the heavens.
Cole slowed the horse and steered them into the woods. The forest offered little protection from the elements, and Juliet shivered violently from her perch across his lap. Numbness crept into Cole’s fingers and he quickly lost feeling in his toes as well. With only the sleeves of her gown Juliet wouldn’t fare well for long. Reflexively Cole glanced over his shoulder, not yet comfortable with stopping their flight, but concerned for Juliet’s wellbeing. Her teeth chattered and she’d buried her hands in the damp folds of her skirts. He loosely curled his injured arm around her trembling frame in meager effort to shield her from the elements and share a bit of body heat.
“Put your hands in my shirt,” Cole offered softly. “It will keep them warm.”
She stiffened as soon as he spoke and pushed herself away from his chest. “I would sooner let my fingers freeze and fall off.”
Cole gritted his teeth. “That may yet happen.”
She held herself away from him as much as possible given that she was sitting on his lap. “We need to find shelter, Cole.”
“First we need to put more distance between us and those soldiers,” he replied, striving to maintain an even keel in the face of her hostility. He’d just saved her life. A little bit of gratitude might be warranted.
“I suppose if you freeze to death your secrets will die with you.”
Cole gritted his teeth. He had no intention of dying until the means to stop this war made it into the right hands. He opened his mouth to argue, but an exceptionally bitter gust of wind stole the breath from his lungs.
Juliet turned her face into the shelter of his chest. “We can’t stay out in this storm, Cole. We have to find some shelter before we freeze to death.”
The cold leaked into every open crevice of his clothing. Grudgingly he had to agree.
“If I’m not mistaken this is Harper plantation land,” she said. “There are outbuildings and sheds all over the property.”
“Keep your eyes peeled.” Cole squinted through the forest, silently fuming over the various mishaps that had occurred since the start of this particular mission. He’d been smuggling information to Colonel Raymond for over a year without incident—until now…
“Over there!” Juliet sat forward so suddenly the horse skittered to the side. “I see a building.”
Cole followed the direction of her pointed finger and glimpsed weathered wooden walls between the trees. “I see it. We must proceed carefully in case anyone is home. I don’t want anyone else to come to harm for aiding me.”
“How nice of you to consider that now,” Juliet snapped. Her icy tone shot straight to his heart, more chilling than the stormy morning air.
Jaw tensed, Cole kept his mouth shut and steered the horse toward the wooden wall.
“It looks like a slave cottage,” Juliet said as they wended through the trees. “It looks abandoned too.”
Cole stopped the horse before the outbuilding, and took quick stock of the meager cabin. No smoke lifted from the small chimney, and twigs and browned leaves littered the wooden stoop. By all means the place was decrepit. Cabin was far too generous a word, as was cottage. The shack was little more than a lean-to with four walls, but… it was shelter… it was away from the main roads… and it would do.
Bracing his good arm, he helped Juliet slide from the horse to the ground. Briefly she glanced up at him and their eyes locked. Cole’s heart clenched. The face of misery reflected back at him. Her lower lip was fat and swollen and dried blood marred her chin. Her cheeks blazed red from the cold, and dark hollows carved around her bleak eyes. Despite the exhaustion plaguing her features, fire burned in her eyes. She glared up at him with daggers of anger and disgust. The moment her feet hit the ground she lifted her skirts and ran to the door of the little cabin.
Hunched against the wind Cole hesitated, watching her go. His spirits sank even lower. There was a time when he would have given anything to be trapped alone with Juliet in a secluded cabin. This was not how he’d pictured it. With a groan he stiffly dismounted from the horse. His shoulder ached mercilessly after his heroics that morning. Doing his best to shrug it off, Cole looped the reigns around his hand and wondered just what he was going to do with the horse. He sighed. This was going to be a long day.
* * * *
Juliet’s heart pounded and her teeth chattered as she shoved into the old, musty cottage. Icy rainwater seeped through her gown sleeves and the damp length of her skirts clung to her legs. The temperature outside seemed to be plummeting by the second. At the moment she had a new understanding of the adage chilled to the bone. Truly she could not recall ever feeling more miserable.
Outside the wind gusted and the cottage boards shuttered.
Juliet shivered as fear and uncertainty chilled her further. “Keep moving,” she muttered, trying to ignore the numbness creeping up her limbs. She flexed her fingers. The joints hurt from the cold and moved stiffly. She circled the sparse cabin, taking quick note of what lay within. A single small window along the far wall allowed dim daylight to slant in. A small table with two narrow chairs sat in a corner, and two shelves lined the back wall while an old mattress rested on the floor beside a small hearth. Nothing else met the eye, not a single nick-knack or even a broken jar. Pity they hadn’t found a more suitable shelter.
The door swung open emitting a rush of bitter air. Cole rushed in and slammed the door behind him. He dropped his belongings to the floor and tossed his forage cap to the side. “The weather has taken one hell of a turn,” he said, glancing about the interior of the shack. “Doesn’t seem to be much here we can use.”
Juliet’s heart jumped nervously as his shadowed gaze fell back to her. His expression was impossible to discern in the dim lighting, which she didn’t like. “There is a hearth.” Juliet motioned to the small fireplace. “I hoped you might have a flint and tinder with you.”
“I do.” He knelt stiffly and opened his pack. “We won’t want to build a large fire in case the smoke alerts Reynolds and his men to our location, but we certainly won’t survive long without a small one.”
Juliet nodded and faced the cold hearth, trying to imagine flames leaping within. Futilely she rubbed her hands along her arms trying to generate some warmth as worry and uncertainty ate at her. What should she do? What would happen when her mother returned home? She knew nothing of the catastrophic events that had transpired. Would the soldiers still be there? Or would they have moved on?
Cole draped a wool blanket over her shoulders, disrupting her thoughts.
She startled, grabbing the worn edge of the blanket. “Where did you get this?”
“It was rolled in my pack,” he responded evenly. He stepped forward and faced her. “I have one dry shirt left as well.” He held it out to her. “You need to get out of that wet gown. Put it on.”
A chill of alarm that had nothing to do with the cold rushed down her spine. “Absolutely not. I-I can’t. It’s… it’s not proper.”
Cole shoved the shirt into her arms. “You’ll properly freeze to death if you stay in those wet clothes.” He took a knee before the hearth and grabbed the two logs sitting on the floor beside the hearthstones. “Don’t worry, I won’t look.” He lifted the flint and tinderbox. “Now do as I said.”
Juliet gulped as stubbornness born of anger warred with the overwhelming need to be dry and warm. Eventually good sense won out and she moved to the opposite side of the cabin. “See that you don’t.”
“Don’t what?” Cole glanced back at her from his place kneeling before the hearth.
She clutched the blanket. “Don’t Look!”
“Oh… sorry,” he said, sounding anything but sorry. He didn’t immediately look away and the seconds lengthened timelessly between them. Juliet shifted restlessly. Despite the poor lighting there was no mistaking the longing in his eyes. Finally he averted his gaze. “Get changed,” he ordered gruffly. “I’ll work on this fire.
Juliet complied without further argument. Frigid air breezed across her skin as she peeled the wet garments from her body and hastily tugged Cole’s dry lawn shirt over her head. She fastened the buttons with cold clumsy fingers and glanced down nervously. The shirttail fell barely to mid-thigh, leaving her utterly exposed. She’d never been so scantily clad before a man in her life. Not even a doctor. Grabbing the wool blanket, she wrapped it around herself so that she was covered to mid-calf. Satisfied for the moment she shifted her attention back to Cole hunched beside the fireplace.
Confusion swamped her. This was Cole. The man she’d spent years waiting for. Cole. The boy she’d loved since childhood. Cole. The man who’d risked everything to come back and save her from those awful soldiers.
A faint glow emanated from the hearth and Cole gently nurtured the fragile flame. Soon it grew into a self-sustaining blaze. Excitement leapt inside Juliet as she crossed the room like a moth. They may not freeze to death after all.
Cole eased himself down beside the fire. He grimaced, favoring his injured shoulder and unfastened the gold buttons lining his uniform jacket. The firelight illuminated his face and deep lines of discomfort marred his handsome features. No doubt the shoulder pained him unbearably after the events of the morning.
“Let me help you.” She quickly dropped down behind him and slipped the uniform coat off his shoulders and down his arms. The shirt he wore underneath seemed to be completely dry.
“Thank you,” he murmured, shifting so that he faced her.
“Is your shoulder bothering you?”
“Only a little,” he replied distractedly, gaze drifting down from her eyes.
Juliet realized instantly that she’d released the blanket edges while helping him out of his coat, allowing him a full view of the white shirt underneath. Flushing hotly she snapped the blanket edges together, fisting them in her palms, vowing not to release edges until she could don her gown again.
Seeming to sense her discomfort, Cole glanced away and stood. “Sit closer to the fire,” he urged. “Warm yourself.” He strode away then, crossing the room to collect her wet garments. He grabbed the chairs and positioned them near the hearth. He then draped her wet gown and his wet bloodstained uniform jacket over the chairs. Juliet expected him to sit by the fire again, but instead he strode to the window. “I had hoped to put a bit more distance between us and those soldiers,” he said seriously. “We can only hope the storm has slowed them as much as it’s slowed us.”
Juliet turned back to the fire and closed her eyes, shuddering as the morning’s events blurred together in her mind. “I can’t believe this has happened. Those soldiers were supposed to be on our—my side.”
Steady footfalls sounded on the hard-packed floor as Cole approached. “There are men like Captain Reynolds on both sides,” he said softly. “Unfortunately war brings out the best in very few men, and makes beasts of many.”
“So I’m coming to see.”
Cole’s big hands settled on her upper arms over the blanket, and his chin dropped and rested briefly against her hair. His touch felt so natural, so good. For a moment she forgot herself. She forgot her anger and his betrayal, and allowed herself to sway back and rest comfortably against him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, slipping his arms around her middle. “I never meant to drag you into all of this.”
Juliet stiffened as the ugly truth of their situation broke through the confused emotions muddling her brain. “How can you say that?” She wrenched away from him. “This entire mess is your fault. Because of you my home was ripped apart this morning. My mother could be in danger now because of your treason, and I can’t even warn her because I’m now on the run with you.” She glared at him, anger at his betrayal flushing full force back through her veins. “I can never forgive you for this, Cole. Not ever.”
Chapter 4
Not ever. The harsh words echoed off the narrow walls, banishing them both into silence.
Their eyes locked and the air sizzled between them. A culmination of guilt, anger, and sadness churned within Cole. For a few minutes the fury emanating from Juliet had faltered, and a glimpse of the warm, loving woman he knew so well had resurfaced. For just a moment he’d believed there could be hope for them. Hope of forgiveness. Hope for love. Now… now he just wasn’t sure. The price of following his convictions was going to prove high indeed.
“Juliet,” he began quietly, striving for calm. “Believe what you will, but my intention was never to involve you in any of this affair. I came to you for help last night because I was desperate. I had nowhere else to go. I had no idea things would get so out of hand.”
Juliet sat before him with the drab blanket wrapped around her from her neck to her toes. The cloth was like a physical wall. “You knew full well what you were doing. You asked me to lie for you. You asked me not to give you up.” The flames reflected ethereally off her green eyes, adding to her untouchable aura.
“You’re right,” he said simply. “You’re right. I did ask you to lie. I knew there was some danger, and I wasn’t truthful with you. Being a spy is a horrible lot, but it is part of the world we live in.” He leaned in until just a few inches separated them. “At present we live in a terrible world, and some circumstances are beyond our control. I’m sorry for what happened to you this morning, but I cannot take the blame for the actions of Reynolds and his men.”
She remained perfectly still, staring back at him. He could all but see the cogs working in her brain.
“I have an opportunity to end this war, and I won’t apologize for that even if it means losing you.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t pretend losing me is any great loss to you. We both know the only reason you proposed is because Missy Carlson got engaged to Robert Hayes.”
“What?” Taken aback by the turn of the conversation, Cole rocked back on his heels. “Missy Carlson?” The country belle hadn’t crossed his mind in years. Back in the day he and all the other boys in the county had vied for her affections, begging for a quick kiss or a touch of the hand, but that was a long time ago. A competition of youth. He shook his head. “No, Juliet. I asked you to marry me because I love you. You have always been there. You—”
“Don’t placate me, Cole. You always had some girl or another on your arm, but it was never me. Not really. You just didn’t want to go to war without a sweetheart.”
Cole tried to stuff back the cord of truth buried deep within him.
“Perhaps it will please you to know Robert is now lame. He nearly lost a leg at Gettysburg, and now Missy won’t marry him.”
“That news doesn’t please me at all,” he said shortly. “I am, however, pleased that he is not dead like so many of our friends. I have no doubt he’ll find a girl far less shallow than Missy to take as a wife.” Robert had been a true friend. “Don’t confuse the issue here, Jules. Marrying Missy Carlson never once crossed my mind. Getting married at all didn’t much cross my mind until the war hit and we were set to march out. When it came down to it the only girl I could imagine marrying… was you.”
Tears welled in Juliet’s eyes, catching in the firelight, but not a single one of them fell. “Then why did you betray me? Why did you switch sides?”
“To save lives!”
“And how many lives did your treason cost?”
“Not nearly as many as will be preserved by ending this war. I’m not just talking about the lives in battle, Juliet. I’m talking about the future. The south has been decimated. Even if the Confederacy could win the war—which it can’t—it doesn’t have the resources to sustain itself. What sort of future will await the families and children of the southern states? The fact is that the north and the south need each other to survive as a nation and to prosper.”
Juliet glared back at him, expression hard and unwavering. “If the blockade was lifted—”
“The blockade will never be lifted,” Cole interrupted. “The union has cut the confederacy off from the world. Our resources dwin
dle by the day. Think about it, Juliet, when is the last time you tasted real coffee or sugar?”
Juliet’s icy façade cracked just a bit.
“Further fighting is futile,” Cole pressed. “It will only lead to more death, more waste, and the end result will be the same… the Union will prevail.”
Juliet scowled. “So you switched sides because you want to be on the winning side.”
“Do not insult me.” His ire rose. “I told you already that I don’t believe in splitting the union.”
Juliet shook her head, and finally turned away from him to stare into the firelight. “How did this happen?” she asked, voice quiet and more than a little sad. “Tell me more about how you came to be a spy for the Yankees? I-I’m trying to understand all this.”
The broken quality of her voice knocked the righteous anger right out of him. The full realization of just how much he’d hurt her struck him full force. Truth be told he’d hoped she’d never learn of his deception. He’d planned to keep it all a secret. Cole released a pent up breath. “That’s a fair question.” Scrubbing a hand through his hair, he allowed his thoughts to drift over the sequence of events and emotional uncertainties that had led to his decision. It couldn’t be explained. Not really. Loyalty to one’s country was innate. As much a part of him as loving her…
“Last September,” he began, “I left camp in the middle of the night with every intention of enlisting in the U.S. Army. I crossed the line and was immediately taken prisoner by Union sentries. ” The fateful evening rolled clear as glass through his mind. “I’m probably lucky they didn’t shoot me on sight. I explained that I intended to join the Union Army and the sentries took me to their commanding officer, Colonel Raymond. The Colonel didn’t know what to make of me. He interrogated me for over two hours before deciding I would be most useful to him by returning to my regiment, and sending him pertinent information about troop movements, munitions, and any major battle plans I might hear of. I agreed, and a process for relaying information was put into place.” Cole shifted his gaze to the flames leaping within the scarred stone hearth. “Truth be told, it was an easy decision to make. I hoped that no one would ever have to know that I’d decided to serve the other side.”
