by A. K. Evans
And that’s where I was going now.
The reason my parents looked so alarmed was because they believed that Roscoe should have already reached out to me. They couldn’t begin to understand how he had been home for so many weeks already and not made the effort to contact me at all.
I couldn’t say I didn’t agree with their sentiment, but I tried to keep everything in perspective. Roscoe had no idea I was pregnant with his baby. I wanted to believe that if he had known, he might have made a visit to me a priority.
With his address plugged into my phone, I followed the directions to his house. And as I made my way there, I took deep breaths and told myself that everything was going to be fine. No matter what happened, whether he planned to be involved in this baby’s life or not, I was going to be okay. And most importantly, because I refused to allow anything else to be the case, our baby would be okay, too.
When I finally pulled up at his house, the first thing that I realized was that Roscoe and I were two people who led very different lives. I lived in a one-bedroom apartment. He lived in a mansion. His house was exquisite. It was bigger and more magnificent than anything I could have ever hoped to live in or own in my entire lifetime.
I parked my car and walked up to the front door, carrying an envelope in my hand. That envelope was holding one of the copies of the ultrasound in it because I thought he might like to have it.
Part of me toyed with the idea of running right back to my car, driving home, and calling him instead. But in an effort not to allow myself a way out of this, I immediately rang the doorbell.
Was it too late to drop the envelope on the ground and go running in the opposite direction?
Yes.
It was.
Because no sooner had I asked myself that question when the door opened. Roscoe’s eyes immediately locked on mine. “Sienna,” he said with a bit of shock in his voice.
“Hi, Roscoe,” I greeted him. “Can we talk?”
His eyes never left mine as he stepped back and replied, “Sure.” After I stepped inside and he closed the door behind me, he asked, “What’s going on?”
I turned fully to face him, and that’s when it happened. His eyes dropped to my belly. They stayed there a long time before they returned to my face.
Maybe it wasn’t the best thing to say at that moment, but I wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind either. So, I wasn’t exactly thinking of how it might be received when I declared, “Happy Father’s Day.”
Yep.
I chose Father’s Day as the day to show up on Roscoe’s doorstep to tell him he was going to be a dad. Probably not my brightest idea.
His eyes darted back and forth between my eyes and my belly several times before they settled on my belly and stayed there. He didn’t say anything else. Nothing. Not a single word.
I grew uneasy and thought it would be a good idea to do a little backtracking.
“I would have called you, but I didn’t have your number. And I didn’t want to go to your parents for it because that would have raised red flags,” I began, my words coming out in rapid succession. “Plus, I didn’t think it was the kind of thing to share with you over the phone. So, I decided to wait until you got back from touring because you said that you wanted to do what we did the night of the wedding again when you got back. It’s been a few weeks since the tour ended, and I started to think that perhaps you just weren’t interested in going there again. But then I was at the baby store yesterday, and I ended up in aisle with all the picture frames and started crying when Walker and Sadie saw me. And then Walker gave me your phone number and address. Like I said before, I didn’t want to call because this just seemed like the thing to do in person.”
When I finished speaking, I noticed that Roscoe’s gaze had drifted back up to my face. He looked white as a ghost.
“Are you… are you positive that this baby is mine?” he stammered.
I blinked and jerked back in surprise. Those were the first words he said to me since he realized I was pregnant. Taking that from him was like taking a physical blow to my body.
Are you positive that this baby is mine?
Was he serious?
“If you’re going to insult me, Roscoe, at least have the courage to come right out with it,” I replied.
“I’m not passing judgment on you, Sienna, but—”
“But what?” I cut him off. “You think I’d come here like this if I was pregnant by another man?”
He shook his head. “No. I’m not saying that. But we used condoms every single time, so I’m a little unsure how this is possible.”
“Do you have any condoms on you right now or somewhere inside this ginormous house?” I countered, feeling beyond hurt and completely horrified.
“What does that have to do with anything?” he asked.
I shook my head and felt the tears well up in my eyes. “I don’t know how it happened, Roscoe, but condoms aren’t one hundred percent effective. Check the packaging if you don’t believe me.”
“Aren’t you on birth control?”
I looked down at my stomach and back at him. “Obviously not.”
“That’s irresponsible, Sienna.”
He was lecturing me. He was actually lecturing me about being irresponsible when he was just as guilty in this situation. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was.
“You know, I didn’t expect that this was going to go well, but I honestly never imagined you would be this much of a jerk,” I told him.
“What do you want me to say?” he asked.
“Nothing,” I replied. “Nothing at all. But I think it’s a shame that you can’t think of anything at all that you could possibly say to the woman who, like it or not, is twenty-two weeks and a day pregnant with your baby. You don’t believe me, Roscoe, fine. That’s your choice. But I will not hide this pregnancy, and I will tell Addy and your parents about it when she gets back from her honeymoon.”
His brows pulled together. “Are you trying to threaten me or something?”
God, what a disaster this was.
“This was a mistake,” I murmured. “I don’t know why I tried to do the right thing. I’m sorry I came here.”
“Wait. We need to talk about this,” he said.
“There’s nothing to talk about, Roscoe. Not when you’re accusing me of lying to you,” I shot back. I held out the envelope and said, “I brought this for you. I’m sure you don’t want it, which is why I never bought that frame yesterday. But I’m going to give it to you anyway. Do with it whatever you want. If it’s trash to you, throw it out. Just don’t ever tell me you did.”
He took the envelope from me, and the second he had a firm grip on it, I let it go and turned back to the door. Opening it up, I stepped outside and turned back to look at him.
“Sienna, wait.”
“What, Roscoe? What do you want to say?” I asked.
He ran his hand through his hair, clearly feeling frustrated. What he didn’t do was say a single word.
“Thank you,” I rasped after too much time passed.
“For what?”
“For reminding me why I purposely stayed away from you for the last fifteen years,” I answered.
With that parting shot, despite the look that washed over his face, I turned and ran. I held my emotions in the whole way home, but once I closed my front door, I sank down to the floor and burst into tears.
It was hours after my showdown with Roscoe that the knocks came at my door.
I felt like crap and just wanted to stay on the couch for the rest of the night, wearing my oversized sweatpants while watching sappy movies that were going to make me cry. I was giving that to myself tonight because tomorrow I had to get back up and go to work.
But someone wanted to interrupt my plans, and I had a feeling it was my mom. I didn’t call her after I got back from Roscoe’s because I just needed some time to deal with what happened on my own.
Apparently, she wasn’t going to let i
t slide.
So, I got up off the couch and walked to the door. I looked out the peephole and let out a frustrated sigh.
Unlocking the door and swinging it open, I seethed, “What are you doing here?”
“What did you mean?” Roscoe countered with a question of his own.
“Excuse me?”
“What did you mean when you said you purposely stayed away?” he clarified.
I dropped my hand from the doorknob and walked away from him. I realized that meant I was silently inviting him inside, but I didn’t want to have this conversation, or any others for that matter, where my neighbors could hear.
My eyes didn’t even return to the door as I made my way back to the couch. I heard the door close a few seconds before Roscoe appeared.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, not taking my eyes off the television.
“I want to know what you meant by what you said earlier.”
“I’m not talking about it,” I told him. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“You could look at me,” he urged.
I begrudgingly tore my gaze away from the television and looked at him. I remained silent and waited for him to speak.
“This was a lot to take today, Sienna,” he began. “I’m sorry if you don’t like the way I reacted, but I didn’t wake up this morning expecting any of this. Can you cut me some slack?”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Cut you some slack? Right. Okay. Because imagine my surprise when I was here alone months ago and peed on a stick that told me I was pregnant. Imagine how difficult it was to take five or six more of those tests, hoping that one of them would give a different result. Imagine going to get bloodwork done, terrified about what it would confirm. Imagine getting an internal ultrasound, meaning they shove a wand inside your vagina, with nobody by your side to hold your hand. Imagine being told your due date and having nobody there to hear the news. Imagine going to the store to register for things the baby will need so your mom can throw a baby shower, but you have not a clue where to start. Imagine what it was like to walk through that store and not know what car seat is the safest, or what diapers are the best. Imagine feeling so completely overjoyed that you have this miracle of a life growing inside you, feeling that baby move inside you, and not being able to share that with the baby’s father for months. But most of all, imagine going to the man who created this beautiful thing with you so you can finally share the news with him, only to have him call you a slut.”
Roscoe winced. “I never meant it the way you took it,” he insisted. “It’s just… this was not in the plan I had for my life. That’s why I’ve always been diligent about wearing protection. I never planned to have any kids. Please tell me you can understand that.”
My throat was so tight it hurt to swallow. “I can understand that,” I rasped. “But if you really wanted to make sure that you didn’t have kids, you could have taken even more precautions. You could have gotten a vasectomy. You could have abstained. I’m guessing you didn’t do the first of those, but I’m positive you didn’t do the second. And now, there is a baby. If you don’t believe the baby is yours, nothing I can say is going to change that. When he or she is born, I’ll personally pay for a paternity test, but I’m not going to do it for you. I’m going to do it for your family because they shouldn’t have any doubts.”
“You’re pissed. I get it. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” he confessed. “If this is my baby, I’ll provide financial support.”
Financial support? He thought I wanted his money?
Feeling nothing but total disbelief, I shook my head and said, “Thanks, but no thanks. I realize you think I’m trash, Roscoe, but I’d never do this. I’d never find a way to somehow get pregnant on purpose so I could trap you and get your millions. I don’t want your money. I have my own, and I’m more than prepared to take care of this baby all by myself.”
“I’m trying to do the right thing,” he reasoned.
Did he actually believe he was doing the right thing? Not more than a few seconds ago, he was saying that if this baby was his, he’d provide financial support.
If.
If the baby was his.
That meant he still thought I was lying.
“I can’t believe I was such a fool,” I murmured.
“What does that mean?”
I held his gaze for a long time before I shared, “You dropped me off here at my apartment months ago and told me you had a great time and wanted to do it again when you got back. I actually believed you. Now, I know it was simply your way of letting me down gently. It was probably out of respect for your sister because I now know you have not a stitch of it for me.”
“What the fuck is your problem? Where is all of this coming from?” he questioned me. “That’s not how it is at all.”
“Really? So, you’re telling me it wasn’t about you simply wanting to have your fun the night of Addy’s wedding? I know that’s all it was for you. A night of fun. I guess I should feel good about it. I should feel lucky that you chose me to be the one you’d fuck that night.”
“I don’t even know what to say right now. This is just unbelievable. All of it is… I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Sienna, but this isn’t what I ever wanted in my life. This isn’t something I ever wanted to deal with,” he said.
I fought hard not to burst into tears at his declaration. Somehow, I managed to find the strength to respond, “Lucky for you, you don’t have to. I don’t need you. I don’t need your money. And I certainly don’t need your nasty opinion of me. I’ll be fine on my own, and you can continue with living your life as you always have. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d really like to get back to what I was doing before you got here. So, if there’s any shred of decency left inside you, I’d really appreciate it if you’d do me one simple favor and see yourself out.”
Roscoe stood there, staring at me with disbelief written all over his face. But he ultimately honored my request and saw himself out.
I barely got a wink of sleep that night.
Eight
Roscoe
This day had gone nothing like I had anticipated when I woke up this morning.
I called my dad earlier, wished him a Happy Father’s Day, and told him I’d swing by to visit him later.
After Sienna left my house, I had to find a way to pull myself together, pretend I didn’t have a million thoughts running through my mind, and go to visit my parents. Spending those couple of hours with them, I couldn’t stop myself from picturing how they’d react if they knew about Sienna being pregnant. Or, more specifically, I couldn’t stop myself from picturing how they’d react if they knew about Sienna being pregnant with my baby.
It became clear to them many years ago that I was content with my life exactly how it was. Family, friends, music, women, and freedom. I could come and go as I pleased. I could tour all across the country and not have to worry about who I was leaving behind at home.
God, I’d watched Beck do that on this last tour, and it was horrible. I mean, he seemed to manage it well, and Chasey supported him completely in his career, but I could tell that Chasey, Luna, and their unborn baby were constantly on his mind. He gave up so much peace of mind and independence by not only getting seriously involved with Chasey but also marrying her, adopting her daughter, and getting her pregnant with another kid.
I loved my life and the people in it.
I didn’t have any desire to do anything that would disrupt the life I’d always wanted, the life I worked my ass off to get.
My parents knew that, eventually accepted it, and came to the realization that it would be my brother and my sister who would give them grandchildren. My brother, Brent, was already married, and his wife had had their first baby not long before Addy’s wedding. Addy was still on her honeymoon, but there was no doubt in my mind that she’d be pregnant within the year.
But this news? This news would knock my parents off their feet.
It had done th
e same for me, only for very different reasons.
I sighed. Ever since Sienna kicked me out of her place about an hour ago, I’d been struggling not to think about all our interactions—the wedding ceremony, the reception, the night in my hotel suite, and her showing up on my doorstep telling me she was pregnant. All of those interactions, except for the last one, were amazing.
All the anger and bitterness she shot my way… none of that was the Sienna I knew. Granted, I probably deserved all that she handed me after what I said to her. I never meant it the way she took it, but I was in a bit of a panic.
After all, she’d shown up at my place with absolutely no warning to tell me that the one thing I believed I’d never have in my life because I never wanted it was soon going to be a reality. She couldn’t have actually believed I would just smile about it and jump for joy.
I can admit I might not have handled it properly, but this news wasn’t something I could just take so easily.
At this point, I needed advice.
Because the longer I sat here staring at this ultrasound photo, the more I felt like I was going to lose my mind.
I set the picture down on my nightstand, got out of bed, and threw on a pair of sneakers. A minute later, I was out the door and on my way to see one of my best friends.
The moment Walker opened the door and saw my face, he guessed, “I’ll take this visit to mean that you received some news today.”
“Is this a bad time?” I asked.
He stepped back and said, “Come on in.”
I walked into the family room and found Sadie was sitting there. When she saw me walk in, she sat up straighter on the couch and whispered, “Roscoe.”
“Hey, Sadie,” I greeted her.
Looking between her and Walker, I apologized, “I’m really sorry for dropping by unannounced like this, but—”
“It’s okay,” Walker insisted, cutting me off. “I kind of had a feeling we’d be seeing you sometime soon.”
