by A R Dent
It’s All About Trust
by
A R Dent
(Formerly Ocker Oscar)
For every child there is a Hollow Log to hide in from the world
where a safe haven exists to create fantasy
to be whoever they dream to be
It’s All About Trust
Copyright 2013 A R Dent
ISBN 978-0-9874859-1-5
Full acknowledgement to the use of: Macquarie Dictionary and Macquarie Best Aussie Slang in quotations from dictionaries in this book.
This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person or dog is strictly coincidental except for the dogs I loved the most.
To Sarki and Charlie, I am indebted to your contribution to my life and this book.
Contents
Chapter One - Meeting the family
Chapter Two - The Travelling Terrestrials - The Three Muses.
Chapter Three - Becoming a writer.
Chapter Four - It is not Cricket.
Chapter Five - The danger of the night.
Chapter Six - Change is happening fast.
Chapter Seven -The plot changes.
Chapter Eight - The thunder from down under
Chapter One. Meeting the family
It is little wonder, the thunder down under, of a good fart in a bath. All in jest, as I contemplate, I muse - the meaning of life.
My name is Oscar, a dog of distinction. I am searching for a meaning and purpose to my life.
For months I have been sitting, waiting, and dreaming for this day to arrive. Oh, I had the odd hug hug, walkies, and a special treat of burnt bacon that scratched my gums but how can I get my message across? Humans live in the past a lot of the time - they call it Past Tense. I am a literary dog that lives in the Present Tense. I am living for the here and now, waiting for excitement in my life to begin.
I am sitting, cogitating, ruminating, and I am even meditating - how humans could possibly conceive the incredible patience needed to produce a good fart in a bath? A bowl of cabbage followed by a plate of Vinda-Loo would only give me a half-decent fart in a bath or something more like sitting in a dog’s breakfast after a cyclone.
I am being trained in On The Spot Investigative Journalism which is supposed to give me excitements of life. I am set up with, a special computer, with special software, which shows the speed of development and evolution of Information Technology for such a project. It is early days in the world of technology for this to happen. I have been given the arduous task of being a beta dog being experimented on to remove the bugs and fleas out of the software. So expect an occasional typo through the problem of phonetics. I have so much happening around me and to add insult to my fine breeding - I am supposed to write intelligently with perfect writing. All greatness has vibrations that resonate. Even for a dog author such as myself.
The writing of books in the future - no - writing is not the word - books will be conceived within the mind. Special computer chips will be implanted into the minds of dolphins, whales, elephants, white bellied sea eagles, and domesticated animals like me, a dog of distinction, which will transmit their thoughts into a computer. I have not seen or heard my Project Manager for a while and I suspect foul play – she promised not to be eaten by lions she intended to work with after she last visited me.
~~~
I am waiting in this car - I am a little peeved - I am a bit hot under the collar so to speak with the car being so hot. The car is new and smells new, there are no holes in the seats where an intelligent dog like me has not damaged yet. Alongside of me is a cat in a cage. Cats belong in cages and should not be allowed to sit alongside of me - a dog of distinction. I am Oscar - the greatest example of canine intelligence sitting in this car. Well I am the only dog here but that means by implication I am also the most stupid dog here but I will accept the more glorious of the two labels. Somebody once called me a Null dog. I am still sitting here thinking of a comeback on that one. Oh yeh - back to my present tense. Look - this book - I have to write as my present to you. I am trying to tell this story, think about me, and what to say, and explain the stupid things going on around me - and I am a dog. You try it one day as a human.
As I was saying, I fit into this car very nicely. I am not too big like those Dobermans I met once at an off lead dog park. I find car travel suits me because the space on the seat is adequate though not completely what I wanted. The human with funny hair, not like mine that is neat in comparison, but hair that points out everywhere, was very considerate to my thirst. I was thirsty so I did the old hang the tongue out and panted a lot staring at her. And, the water was in a bottle just for me and Cat. Cat is doing well though - I do feel sorry for those that cannot wait to empty their bowels. Cat is now crouched over in her cage looking guilty as can be. The humans are complaining about the stench and saying the whole idea was stupid. Cats think they own the planet. Dogs are different. Dogs co-exist. Cats exist within their own world and are only a part of life when it suits them. These things I notice, because I am Oscar, a dog with a mission in life to take note and write about things of importance.
Why do humans love cats when there are things like hills to climb, and wide-open space with grass to run on, and trees - yikes, did someone mention trees? I do need to empty my bladder. This experience if I can explain is embarrassing for a strong intelligent breed of dog like me. True, I was the only dog left of my brothers and sisters without a permanent owner. True, I was the one who snarled every time someone arrived to get a puppy. ‘A bit too wild’ is what they said every time I tried to bite them. I think I got my name Wild Oscar because of this. I am now simply called Oscar. The fact is they did not appeal to me. I want an owner that sends messages of excitement and adventure. Somehow, many humans just don’t get it. Dogs pick their owners. Dogs can be very selective who they want as their owner.
For months, I waited with nothing but one rejection after another - then one day a phone call.
‘Yes, he is still here. The dog is male, has floppy ears and furry. A little bit bigger than a Mini Poodle and smaller than a Wolfhound, half-pure Poodle and the rest a make-up of Australian Terrier and something else. His fur grows and you have to groom and cut his fur like a Poodle. Yes, we will be here then, come over and have a look at him,’ my owner said.
Then before I know it, someone comes along.
‘He will do. He is such a handsome dog,’ she said.
I had no say in it at all. I didn’t have time to snarl or try to bite her. Well to tell the truth I did lick her face. 'Poor me,' I thought.
So much has happened since that nice lady took me away from my first family to be here in strange surroundings.
This new car I am now sitting in means I am living in style. Oscar now has class. Oscar now has a place somewhere in society. Where is the human I want? I deserve adventure, not living in a car with cat alongside of me in a cage that stinks, and some human saying ‘they are going to adore this dog’. A fancy new car is not adventure. Maybe I work out a way to dispense with cat out of my life.
Hold on, now I am being taken out and directed - no - pulled, yanked along by this rope, and into a what? It looks like a huge empty metal box and now - wait - someone is speaking. I hear that it is called a van, it is in a garage, and we have to wait. It is definitely cooler in this van than in the car that is still out on the street in front of the house.
‘See there they are running around looking for their presents,’ a human said looking through a window.
I feel excited and I have no reason to feel this way. A buzz is in the air. I am whining and shaking in anticipation. What is happening to me? Oh, no someone farted. Oh, I wish that human did not fart. Good, they are opening the door for
ventilation. First cat made a mess in her cage, and now the human farted. Oh, I can tell you if ever I am blamed again for farting as I did where I lived for five months. On this day I will write, 'Dogs are on a journey of discovery of a Fart-Less Society' - oh, this is too exciting to be thinking about writing. I was told: remember everything and take notice on how to fit into society and write about it. Me, a dog writing about how to fit into society - I don’t know how to spell the words - phew, I am glad I have Spellchecker. If they think I am going to fit into their society then they have to think again. Humans have to fit into a dog's life, but this is getting exciting with a woman with funny hair laughing about me, and my great look of expectation. Maybe humans and dogs can negotiate to a way of fitting into each other's life. I could fit into this van very easily as my new kennel. I could fit into life as a dog snuggling into the arms of a woman like her. I like her, is what I am now thinking, about the woman with funny hair. There is so much of Funny Hair to cuddle. And, dogs too have a right to change their minds when it suits them.
All of a sudden, Funny Hair says she has to loosen her vocal chords to sing Happy Birthday. She warbles a bit. Cat loosens her vocal chords... meeeeeeeeoowww meeooooooooooow meeoooww.
I want to escape. The other human is laughing. Funny Hair starts singing, ‘happy birthday to you ... happy birthday to you.’
‘meowww meeoooowww meooowwww,’ Cat joins in.
The other human is laughing and laughing and laughing because cat believes she can sing better than Funny Hair who has a very funny voice. Cat definitely is singing better.
I want to fit into society wherever I go and what better way than joining in with the fun. I will sing them my song my other family sung to me. I start howling. . .
'I gotta be loved - the tale of four legs and a tail - I have four legs and a tail and I gotta be loved - I gotta be loved. When you first got me I walked around all day - You walked me to the park so I can run run and play. Pat me in the morning - pat me all day - pat me when I demand - soooo - I gotta be loved - I gotta be loved.'
To add to the fun cat decides to join in as well – ‘Meeowww meowww meow.’
What would you believe, as I sit here howling my favourite song with my friend cat singing with me, what do you think is happening?
The man who laughed at Funny Hair singing is now yelling out to cat and me - ‘SHUT UP’.
Well the thought of giving him a mouthful of some other songs I sing, when, a thump on the back of the van and a man’s voice calls out. . .
‘Ready, come on inside now - bring the cat and dog in. They have no clue about the cat and the dog.’
The doors open wide. Funny Hair grabs my lead. The other human picks up the cat carrying cat cage, with Cat in it, and carries it walking behind Funny Hair. Both humans take us as though we are supposed to be happy about all this - and what in the name of the greatest dogs in the history of dickens have we got here?
A tall skinny man appears from behind a shed.
‘Hello, who are you?’ I whimper aloud. ‘You look nice. I have never seen you before. Do you like to run around all day? Do you fit into society?’ I ask Skinny Man, but he ignores me.
Skinny Man now speaks to Funny Hair ‘Thanks for looking after the cat and the dog,’ and grabs my lead and shoves me into a room.
So what does any self respecting dog do? I bark, I protest - and now this door opens, ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK . . . this is Oscar.’
Well, I can tell you, Jack is about as much fun as a wet sock.
Some woman appears from nowhere, ‘Do you like him Jack?’
‘Yeh, he is alright. You could have got me one that looks better than that. Does he talk? What happened in the garage? All I could hear was a cat and a dog howling. Mum, it's embarrassing if the dog howls all the time when I am with my friends. Can you stop him doing that?’ Jack said.
Disgusted with me? I am going to be your best friend. I am going to be Oscar, your loyal, trusted companion that never makes a mistake. Just as it is in - A Dog Is A Companion For Life - Second Edition.
Jack has no idea that I am intelligent, smart, and perfect for someone who likes adventure. A bit of charm maybe - I know - shake my head and make these floppy ears go 'flap flap flap', how is that?
‘Mum, I think there is something wrong with him. Do all dogs do that with their head? Mum he looks more like a drongo than a dog.’
‘Come outside Jack and see if he chases a tennis ball,’ orders the woman who sounds like a White Cockatoo, ‘outside, quickly, outside.’
I am shown the open door, down three steps and off I go - one huge backyard and just for me. I feel the grass beneath my paws, the clothesline and some balls on the ground. I run and run and run - Jack picks up a ball and throws it and I run after it but – zip - off the fence and I lose sight of the ball, I twist, woops, slip and roll over and over, the ball, where is it? There it is, near the chook shed, and now into my mouth, pick it up, and drop it at Jack's feet.
‘Hey mum, come out here and watch this. What name did the people give him? He can run fast, the fastest dog I have seen, and tricks too.’
Oh Jack, give me a break - now all the humans are out here looking at us.
‘When I picked Oscar up the owners said he plays ball on his own a lot. Jack, toss the ball up in the air and see what happens,’ said another woman who just arrived.
I am waiting for the ball to be thrown to the fence. Jack makes the ball go high into the air and I watch it go high towards the clouds. It is now coming straight back at me, getting bigger and bigger, straight past my nose and I let it bounce and it is in my mouth. I am doing everything I can to get some excitement into a lifeless sloth that is just standing there and waiting for me to take the ball back to him.
‘Jack, take Oscar down to the park and take a plastic bag in case he does woop woops, and keep him on the lead, and come back in half an hour, and lunch will be ready,’ said Jack’s mother with a smile on her face for the first time.
~~~
The open gate, a dog's paradise and all of it for me to explore - the fence, new houses, the park, new smells and scents, and snifties and lifties. At the park is another gate. Now inside and Jack takes my lead off. Free, I am free. Where is the ball? Where are the trees? Dogs love trees and I decide to have a piddle and observe. I see a small dog over there - heaven, I am in heaven, a snifty here, and a lifty there. A snifty, a lifty, a lifty and a snifty, as I go everywhere.
‘Go away,’ said the Australian Terrier.
Come on now, I only had two sniffs. I don't like Australian Terriers, they are too snappy.
Oh, I see a high hill. How do I get Jack to see what I see? Why is Jack just standing there? I will stand still and stare back at Jack. Jack stares back at me. It appears Jack likes standing still staring at me with a funny face. His lips change shape, he twists his head, and it appears that just looking at me hurts.
‘Well Oscar, we have to go home now and talk to Nanna Sue.’
Sloth is loping home. I try to walk behind him and copy his gait. Sloth is mumbling a lot to himself, and I assume as dogs do, that he is lonely and in need of a dog companion. How wrong I am. Sloth was rejected from the local cricket team. The Under Twelves, whatever that means. He was brilliant batting and bowling but now his co-ordination has disappeared. This means he never stops chatting, talking to himself. Sloth is actually intelligent and I had no idea. Something about his sister I think. ‘She is better than me,’ he mumbles. A little bit of sibling rivalry and it has affected his cricket. Well, I think I had better have a word with the Travelling Terrestrials tonight if they appear. I never know when they will speak to me and adjust this program they have fitted me with. I wonder if Jack has to fit into society too. Have to figure out a way to get some life into Sloth. I think he has a corrupted data input somewhere in his Random Access Memory or his Temporary Files Folder. He never stops talking about himself. We will have to sort this out.
Oh, tha
t reminds me, I have to upgrade my Graphics Card and the new Thought Translator Thalia promised. Dunno when I am going to get that one.
As we are walking home, Jack is slowly becoming happier with me. Jack said and I proudly quote ‘Oscar, I have been thinking, if you can catch balls and retrieve them to me, I have an idea. What about tomorrow we go over to the oval and I try what Uncle Bill said to me before he died. I think you are going to help me get my bowling perfect. Not as in, the best in the world, but to get my delivery the best I can. All Uncle Bill said was 'The team who wins, is the team who is best on the day'. Being the best once is not what sport is about. It is about being consistent. Uncle Bill was a famous cricket player. Then he died. I think we can do it Oscar. We can do it.’
Notation: do not to call my new owner Sloth anymore. When he smiled and gave me a hug I nearly jumped up on the fence with him and here he is walking on a fence and I am walking on the footpath, and, and I have run out of words - I think Thalia calls this - 'feeling emotional like a human.’
~~~
‘Hello smiley,’ Jack's mother said, ‘what happened down there at the park? You look better. You are standing taller Jack. Have a seat; your sister is in her room making Dream Catchers with Nanna Sue. I will call her for the cake and then Grandpa and Grandma have to get back to their place for a dinner they have to go to tonight. Penelope, there, Jack there, all the seats are marked who sits where - and there are cards on the table for you both. Ron, you can take the dog out the back. Where is the cat? She can go out too. The gate is shut, I think, but check it Ron, and put the water bowl in the shade. We will wait till you are finished before we start here.’
She is now staring at me until I am taken out of the room. I am rejected by Slim Lips. She walks around with her lips so tight and it troubles me. I am supposed to fit into their family and be the life of their party and she pushes me away.
