Joe started to protest, then glanced at me and closed his mouth.
“Look,” Jed continued, his tone softening a bit. “She’s been dealin’ with people like Denny in one capacity or another for a year and a half, and she’s been doin’ just fine without any input from you.”
“That’s not entirely true,” I interjected. “I’ve sought his advice from time to time.”
Jed shot a glare in my direction. “You may seek counsel from other people, but your decisions are always your own. That’s the way it has to be. I haven’t liked a few of the choices you’ve made, but that didn’t stop me from doing my job.”
I could think of a few instances when he’d put up more than a token resistance, but he’d always protected me. That much was true.
Jed’s eyes darkened. “People come to Rose for advice, for mediation, because she has great instincts and doesn’t put up with any bullshit. Your job is to state your piece, then accept her decision.” He took a breath. “And if you’re incapable of that, you need to step down.”
Like he had done with James.
Turning to face me, Jed said, “Joe’s incapable of doin’ this job because he’s too emotionally involved.”
“Are you sayin’ you didn’t give a shit about her while you were her bodyguard?” Joe challenged.
“No,” Jed said. “I would have given my life for her, just as I know you would. But here’s the difference—you can’t bring yourself to walk her into danger, even if that’s exactly where she needs to be.” He looked at me again. “Admit it, Rose. You’re hesitatin’ because you don’t want to upset him.”
I pushed out a weary sigh. “You’re right, but—”
“Stop right there and leave off the but. You need to make this decision and everyone else be damned, Joe included.”
“That’s not how marriage works, Jed,” I said softly. “We may not be married yet, but the rules don’t start when the ring goes on my finger.”
“Like it or not, this is your job,” he said in a stern tone. “You took on this mantle the moment you set up that parley with Skeeter, Reynolds, and Wagner. And now here you are in a position to finally do something consequential with it.” His glare softened. “You could run, that’s what I intended to do with Neely Kate, but then I realized that would make me nothin’ but a coward.”
“Don’t be puttin’ that shit on her,” Joe barked. “How is what you’re doin’ any different from what you’re accusin’ me of doin’? You’re trying to influence her decision too, only you want her to make a different one. She’s not a coward if she doesn’t want to go to Denny. She has a baby now. Things have changed.”
“I can’t help thinkin’ about Dora,” Neely Kate said from the doorway, a fussy Hope in her arms. “You were around Hope’s age when she died.”
So I wasn’t the only one who’d made the connection.
“Dora didn’t die,” Joe sneered. “She was murdered.”
I gave Joe a sad smile. “I’ve been thinking about her lately too. How our lives are more similar than I thought.”
“All the more reason to stay away from Denny Carmichael,” Neely Kate said as she walked into the room and handed me Hope and a receiving blanket. “Joe’s right,” she said, shooting Jed a silencing look, “you don’t need to go through with this.”
I took Hope in my arms and adjusted the blanket over my shoulder before tugging down my dress. Hope latched on, and I turned to Neely Kate as she sat in the chair next to me. “If we don’t make sure Carmichael is at that meetin’, then he’ll be a much bigger problem after Hardshaw and James are scooped up. He’ll fill the vacuum, like he’s been tryin’ to do anyway. The county will be just as dangerous, if not more so, and none of us will ever be safe. Carmichael will just keep callin’ on me for information.”
“Fine,” Joe said, “but you don’t have to be the one to tell him. We’ll send someone else.”
“You’ll likely be sendin’ them to their death sentence,” Jed said with an exhausted sigh. “He’ll insist it has to be her and will kill anyone who tries to go in her place.” He glanced up at me. “To send a message loud and clear.”
Which was why it had to be me. Jed was right. I knew he was right. Heck. Joe probably knew it too.
“Dora gave her life to bring out the truth,” I said softly. “To save lives.”
“Fat lot of good that did,” Joe said bitterly. “It got her killed, and you were raised by a monster. How much different would your life have been if Dora had raised you here out at the farm?”
Neely Kate reached out and squeezed my free hand. “He’s right, Rose. You can’t do this. If the vision you had of Jed and me in the hospital was about you, you might not make it. Think about Hope. Think about Joe and me and Jed and baby Daisy.” Tears filled her eyes. “Don’t you want to meet Daisy?”
It was the first time she’d let herself call her baby by name in weeks.
“Of course I want to be here for my baby and yours.” I gave them all a bewildered look. “And everyone is gettin’ worked up for nothing. I had two visions of Carmichael’s compound. Everything’s gonna be fine. He’s not gonna make us go to the meeting. The scene at the hospital must have been about someone else.”
But from the looks on their faces, they didn’t quite buy it. I wasn’t sure I did either.
I couldn’t shake the heavy sense of dread that I was missing something important. That there was an angle to this mess that I’d missed.
Dora hadn’t thought of everything either. Was that what had gotten her killed?
Would she have gone to see Carmichael too?
While I didn’t remember my mother, I had been fortunate enough to meet her through her words. She’d written a journal while pregnant with me, something I’d since done for Hope because of how much it had meant to me. Because of that journal, I knew she had done what she thought was right to protect my future. To save innocent lives. She could have stopped her quest to expose the truth about the faulty airplane parts being made at her factory, and no one would have faulted her for it. Just like no one would fault me for leaving Carmichael’s attendance at that meeting up to fate.
But would the woman I’d come to know in that journal be able to live with herself if she’d sat back and done nothing?
Could I?
“I would give anything to have my mother,” I said. “And yes, my childhood was hell. But if my life had gone differently, I might be sittin’ at this table right now, but you wouldn’t be here, Joe. And neither would Neely Kate or Jed. I definitely wouldn’t be holdin’ our sweet baby. And while I would still have known Violet through Daddy, our relationship wouldn’t have been the same.”
“It probably would have been better,” Joe argued. “Violet wouldn’t have spent her entire life feeling like she had to protect you. She might have found her own happiness instead of obsessing over yours.”
That stung, but he was right. Violet had spent her whole life hovering over me. Still, I wasn’t convinced she would have had the picture-perfect life he was projecting.
“Not necessarily,” I said, feeling an overwhelming sadness for my sister. “She would have lived alone with her momma, and she would have been miserable. She needed me just as much as I needed her when we were kids.”
I was scared spitless because I knew what I had to do. I just needed to find the backbone to do it.
“I don’t remember my mother,” I said, opening my eyes. “I used to think I never had a hero when I was growin’ up, but now I realize I did.” My voice broke. “I just didn’t know her yet.”
Joe shook his head. “Rose.” He sounded anguished. “Why does it have to be you?”
“Because, just like Jed said, I’ve been buildin’ up to this. I decided to be a neutral party to protect the county, and this is the biggest threat to our safety yet. We thought it was Hardshaw, but Denny’s shown us he’s as bad or worse. He’s killed almost half a dozen people in the last three months, and those are just the ones we know a
bout.”
Dora had put everything on the line to protect innocent people from harm. On the surface, it didn’t look like her meddling had done any good, but the contract to make the faulty airplane parts had been canceled. Dora had saved countless lives.
And now, so could I.
I could run, but we’d have to leave behind everything we loved. Jed was right. It would make me no better than a coward. How many innocent people would be hurt if Denny Carmichael was allowed to rule over the county?
I could be an example to my daughter. I wanted her to read my journal someday so she could see how I’d wrestled with the hard decisions in life and made mistakes, sometimes in the name of love. So she could see that women have more strength than the world gives them credit for, and anyone, even a friendless misfit like her momma had been, could find happiness. All it took was finding courage to face the world.
Maybe she would read Dora’s journal too and see that we Middleton women were strong and fierce. And maybe Hope would find the courage to be fierce someday too.
I held my baby tighter, praying it wasn’t one of the last times I would hold her, but if it was, I wanted to pour so much love into her it would make an imprint on her soul.
But before I walked into the void, into the unknown, I had to know one thing.
I closed my eyes and swallowed a sob as I asked, Will Hope be happy?
An image of Joe’s smiling face filled my vision. He held a jar of baby food and a tiny spoon, saying, “Come on, Hope. I know you’re gonna love carrots.”
Then it morphed into another vision. This time, I was sitting in front of a mirror, the image in front of me a slightly older Hope with a mop of brown hair. Neely Kate sat behind her, holding a baby in her arms. “Who’s that sweet baby in the mirror?” she sing-songed.
Both of the babies smiled and cooed.
Then the image changed again, and I was running toward the barn behind the house. Joe was rubbing the nose of a horse, and I was shouting excitedly in a sweet, tiny voice, “Daddy! Daddy! Can I ride Buttercup today?”
Then image after image shifted like a kaleidoscope, showing me scenes of my daughter’s life as she grew. Jed pushing her and Daisy on swings. Elementary-aged Hope helping Maeve in the nursery. Hope riding horses on our farm, and then in competitions. Hope taking dance lessons. Winning the spelling bee. Becoming a cheerleader with Daisy. Graduating high school. The images dimmed as they got farther out, and a few things struck me. I wasn’t in a single one. Hope was surrounded by our friends and family, but not once did I see myself. Or Ashley and Mikey. Or James. But I felt an overwhelming sense of happiness and love from my little girl.
Hope might lose me, but she’d still thrive. Joe and Neely Kate, and Jed and Maeve, and everyone else in her life would make sure of it.
I willed the vision to end and opened my eyes, her face blurry through my tears. “You’re gonna have a happy life, my precious baby. Momma will make sure of it.”
Only later did it hit me that I’d been in full control of what I’d said.
Chapter 29
“I’ll brook no more arguments over this,” I said as I switched Hope to my other breast. “I’m goin’ to see Denny Carmichael.”
“I’ll be your second,” Jed grunted in a tone that made it clear he wouldn’t be talked out of it.
Joe looked devastated. “I want to go.”
“No,” I said, trying to be strong. “You have to stay with Hope.”
He shook his head, the fear in his eyes replaced with determination. “I quit my job for a purpose, Rose. To protect you. Don’t take that from me now.”
I wasn’t sure that bringing Joe was a good idea. If we were wrong about the location and time, anyone who showed up with the message would likely be a dead man walking. Still, I understood Joe’s need to do this, and I took comfort in knowing he had been in my visions of Hope. I cast a questioning glance at Jed.
He studied Joe for a moment, his expression grim, then the corner of his mouth ticked up. “Welcome to the team.”
“I already joined,” Joe said in a tight voice. “You were just slow to notice.”
“We need shirts,” Neely Kate said, trying to sound cheery. “Team Lady in Black.”
We all chuckled, but it was forced as we faced the reality of what we were about to do.
“There’s one more thing,” I said. “Have Dermot check the abandoned factory where we had our showdown with J.R.”
“What?” Jed asked. “There was no record of that being an option.”
“You yourself said that the flash drive was created late last summer or early fall. Many months ago. Mike’s records are from April. See if you can find any record of him doin’ any work out there.”
“That doesn’t make any sense, Rose,” Jed protested. “Hell, I don’t think there’s even electricity out there.”
“He won’t need electricity,” I said. “He can use generators. Send Dermot out there to get a look, but tell him not to get too close. If James is using it, the place is going to be crawling with Hardshaw henchmen.” I got up, still nursing Hope. “I need to know by the time we leave in thirty minutes. Dermot has forty-five minutes to get back to us, tops.”
“Rose,” Jed said in confusion.
I understood why he was confused. This was coming out of nowhere, but everything with my mother seemed to be coming full circle. We had both been caught up in something dark and dangerous. We’d both had babies with a forbidden man. It made sense this would take place at the beginning of my mother’s end, at the warehouse where she’d worked. “It’s comin’ from my gut. Trust me.”
He gave me a blank look, then nodded and turned back to his computer.
Joe stared at me with a mixture of horror and dread.
I gave him a weak smile. “I’m gonna give Hope a bath.”
He hesitated, then said, “I’m gonna keep diggin’ and make sure we didn’t miss anything.”
“Good idea.”
I carried Hope into the living room, and Neely Kate followed, sitting on the sofa next to me. “Neely Kate, will you stay here at the house and watch Hope while we’re gone? I was hoping Witt would stay too.”
“Of course,” she said as though I’d asked the silliest question in the world. “But I can’t help thinkin’ I should go too.”
“No,” I said with a warm smile. “I need you to take care of my daughter. If anything happens to me—”
“You hush that mouth,” she said, sounding pissed. “Nothin’s gonna happen to you. Your visions of Carmichael’s property said so.”
“But if it does, I need you to promise me something.”
“Anything.”
I almost teased her about it being a bad idea to give a blanket promise like that, but it wasn’t a time for teasing. “Make sure Joe and Hope happy, okay? They’re gonna need you.”
“Of course,” she said through her tears. “They’d get sick of seein’ me.”
“Not likely.” Then I added, “And will you check on Ashley and Mikey? I feel like I’ve failed Vi. If Mike’s not able to get a plea deal and he gets sent to prison, the kids will go to his parents and not with me like Vi had wanted.”
“We’ll check on them. I swear it.”
“Thank you.”
“But you’re bein’ morbid,” she said. “Everything went just fine in your visions of Carmichael’s compound, so stop talkin’ like this. It’s bad luck.”
“Okay,” I said. “Let’s talk about happier things.”
She and I took Hope upstairs to give her a bath, and I put her in her sleeper, talking to her nonstop about all the fun we were going to have once Neely Kate and Jed adopted Daisy. And I let myself believe that life was possible. That we’d all walk away from this unscathed. I put Hope to bed, and Neely Kate followed me into my room. She sat down on the bed and watched me in silence as I pulled out a pair of black jeans, a black tank top, and a pair of black ankle boots.
“You’re not wearin’ a dress?” she asked in
surprise. “Where are you gonna hide your gun?”
“Everyone knows I have one by now, and if they don’t, they’re stupid. Might as well protect my legs.” I secured my holster around my ankle, under my jeans, and put my small gun in it. Then I pulled a shoulder harness out of my dresser and slipped it over my head. Once it was in place, I grabbed a box from the top shelf of my closet, behind a box of photos, and set it on the bed.
“Another gun?” Neely Kate asked.
I didn’t answer, just pulled it out and put a clip in the base, then loaded the chamber and put it in the harness. I grabbed a black lightweight jacket from my closet and put it on.
“You definitely look badass,” she said approvingly.
“Time to play the part.” I stared at myself in the mirror.
“You’re not playin’ a part anymore,” she said in a somber tone. “This is you.”
Was it? The woman who’d donned that hat and veil the first time had been trying to save her business. The woman staring at me in the mirror was driven to protect her child.
God help anyone who stood in my way.
I drew in a deep breath to steady my nerves. “I’m ready as I’ll ever be.” Then I spun on my heels and headed for the door. When I got downstairs, Joe and Jed were both still at their laptops.
“There’s nothing in Mike’s files to link him to the warehouse,” Joe said, sneaking a glance at me, then doing a double take.
Jed wrote something on his notepad. “And Dermot reported back that it’s completely silent over there. He also mentioned most of the other guys are stickin’ with you.”
“You mean Dermot,” I said.
“No, you.”
That was good news even if I found the part that they were following me more than a little worrisome.
“Okay,” I said, slipping my phone into my pocket. “Then we pray we bet our lives on the right location.”
Jed looked up, and his brow shot to his hairline.
“What?” I asked, propping my hands on my hips. “You don’t approve?”
“It’s not that, “Jed said. “It’s just that I’m used to you wearin’ a dress.”
It All Falls Down: Rose Gardner Investigations #7 (Rose Gardner Investigatons) Page 26
