“I’m not a huge fan of that word.”
“Of what word?” I pretended I didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Cock,” she said slowly, drawing it out. Shitfuck. That was one of the hottest things she’d ever said.
“Oh, you like that? What if I say it again?”
“I want you to say it again.”
“Cock.”
“Fuck, Aud. Say that a few more times and I’m going to be hard again.”
“Cock. Cock, cock,” she said, emphasizing different parts of the word each time. Yup, I was officially hard.
“Are you ready to go again?” I said, glancing around for the condoms she’d gotten.
“Ready when you are. Only this time . . . do you think I could be on top?” I stared at her for a second. She’d asked so sweetly, like she wanted an extra scoop of ice cream.
“Fuck yeah, you can be on top.” If I hadn’t been hard from her saying cock, the idea of her on top of me did the trick.
“You don't have to go down on me this time,” she said, running her hands down my chest. “Let me take care of you.” If she did that, then I probably wasn’t going to last much longer. But I’d never had much of a problem getting hard again after sex. What can I say? It’s a gift.
Audrey climbed on top of me, her breasts and hair brushing my chest as she slinked down my body and took me in her mouth.
Things came from my mouth, unintelligible things, as she moved her head up and down me, her hair draped in front of her face. I moved it away so I could watch her, with her lips wrapped around me. She smiled up at me and I almost came right then and there.
“I want to come inside you, so you’re going to have to stop now, Aud,” I groaned. I was lucky that I could even speak in words. She reached around and grabbed the condom, tearing it open with her teeth before sliding it on me, her face knit in concentration. I had to stifle a laugh, because that was the same look she wore when she was reading one of her textbooks.
She positioned herself above me and slowly slid down on me. When I was completely inside her, she threw her head back and moaned. I grabbed onto her hips as she started moving, but this time she took things slow. Achingly slow.
Her dark eyes looked down on me and I was hit with just how much I loved this girl. So much that I was afraid of it, afraid of her. She possessed me like a goddess from another time. Immortal. So beautiful that she was almost painful to look at.
She moved her hand down to rub the spot right above where our bodies were joined. I was adding watching her masturbate to the list of things I wanted to do with her. The more she moved, the more things I added to the list.
“Oh, God, Will,” she moaned and then she arched above me, her face lighting up with pleasure. My mission in life was to see that look on her face at least five times a day. To give her that feeling.
I came again, just behind her and she leaned on me, both of our chests heaving. Her hair was damp from sweat and it beaded on her forehead.
“I’ve always wanted to do that,” she said, lifting herself off me, and then cuddling against my chest.
“You’ve never been on top?”
“No. I’m not a virgin, but my sexual experiences are limited.” I was burning to know how much experience she had, but at the same time, it killed me to think of her being with anyone else.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I wasn’t a virgin,” she said, one finger making a circle around my nipple.
“To be fair, I never asked. I just assumed, from what Lottie told me. Or didn’t tell me. Sometimes she doesn’t tell me things, but I just know. You know?”
Aud giggled, the motion making her body vibrate against mine.
“No, I don’t know. I’m not a twin. But I’ve seen the connection you have and I think I understand it a little. I never told her much about my past and I guess I just let her assume that I hadn’t been with anyone because it was easier.”
“Easier than what?” I shifted so I could see her face.
“Easier than the truth.”
“And what is the truth?” Was this what it took for her to be honest with me? Sex?
She pressed her lips together and shook her head.
“I'm sorry, I can’t.”
I guess sex didn’t do the trick either. Her hand moved over her stomach, absentmindedly tracing her scar. I wondered what it was from, and what it could be that she’d be so scared to tell me. What injury that would leave a scar like that would make her shut down?
“Hey, come back,” I said, twisting some of her hair around my fingers.
“I'm here,” she said, but her eyes took a second to focus back on me. Then she smiled and leaned forward to press her lips to mine.
“I’m here with you.”
“You know I was supposed to do homework tonight, but this is so much better,” Will said much later as we lay in bed. I wanted desperately to take a shower and wash my sheets, but my body was still so boneless from the sex that I was worried if I tried to stand up, I might fall down again.
“I’m a huge fan of homework, but I can say that this is definitely better.” He had his boxers on and I’d donned my bra and panties, but I was still conscious of him looking at where my scar was. If he hadn’t figured it out after staring at it for a few hours, then he probably wouldn’t. At least that was what I told myself. And trying to hide it anymore would only draw more attention to it and make him more curious.
We lay opposite each other, my head resting on his hip and his head resting on mine.
“I sure hope I’m better than homework.” I started playing with his now-shorter hair. “If I wasn’t, you’d let me know, right?”
“When have I ever spared your feelings?”
“Ouch. But true.”
We were silent for a few more moments and then I had to say the thing that I knew we were both thinking.
“What is this, Will? What are we?” He inhaled for a minute and ran his thumb across my lips.
“We’re . . . us. I’m fine with this being defined, but if you want to live in the grey area, I’m happy there too. I just want to be with you, wherever that is.” My heart felt like it was expanding, almost bursting through my chest.
“We can try it. I guess.”
“Try what, Aud?”
“Try being together-together. You could be my boyfriend and I’ll be your girlfriend and we get each other gifts on holidays and go on dates and sleep with each other. Exclusively.”
His grin was so wide I was afraid he’d break his face.
“So I get to call you my girlfriend?”
“Yes, you get to call me your girlfriend. Most guys are scared of commitment, but you seem ready to jump in with both feet.” He put his hand under my chin.
“Most aren’t with you. And I’d like to think having a twin sister has given me an inside look on how women think.” He waggled his eyebrows and I laughed.
“You’re so cocky,” I said. I enjoyed seeing his reaction when I said any variation of the word “cock”. I’d never been a fan of the word before, but I definitely was now. I’d have to integrate it in my everyday speech. Especially when Will was around.
“Are you trying to make me hard again? Because it’s working.” I didn’t think I could go again. My downstairs might not make it.
“No. I’m fine with just this. You wore me out.”
“Me? What about you?”
We were both tired, but suddenly I felt refreshed. I lifted my head off his hip and swung myself around so we were face-to-face.
“What about me?”
“You’re wearing me out, woman. And that is something I never thought I would ever say.”
My only response was to kiss him and then the conversation derailed into removing our underwear and all the things that follow after underwear is removed.
I woke the next morning to someone nibbling my ear and something hard pressing into my back.
I groaned and rolled to face Will, who stared at me
with eyes puffy from sleep, but with a smile on his face.
“You’re not trying to talk me into morning sex, are you?” My voice was raspy, and I cleared my throat. Judging by the quality of the light, it was still early and a glance at my clock confirmed that I had plenty of time to get ready for class.
“Hey, I can’t help that you were snuggled up against me all last night and you smell amazing and you’re warm. My cock has a mind of its own.” He pointed down at said cock, which was making its presence known.
“Do you think you could, you know, help me out with it?” I wanted to roll my eyes at him and tell him no way, but he gave me big begging eyes and was so disheveled and sweet that I couldn’t resist.
I went down on him since I wasn’t all that comfortable with using my hand. I always felt like I was doing it wrong.
He came so fast I had no choice but to swallow, which I was able to accomplish, despite my limited experience.
“Fuck, Aud. I keep thinking you’ve done something that’s so sexy, I don’t see how you can top it and then you do something like that. I’m pretty sure my ex used hand sanitizer as lube once when she gave me a hand job.” The more I heard about this girl, the more I wondered why Will ever stayed with her. But when you were young and stupid you tended to do things that were young and stupid.
I just smiled and then crawled out of bed.
“Where are you going?” he whined, grabbing me by the waist and trying to drag me back to bed.
“I’m going to brush my teeth. I’ll be right back.” He just shook his head and tugged harder.
“No teeth brushing. More cuddling.”
“I thought guys hated cuddling,” I said, still trying to pull away from him.
“Like I said, guys who aren’t with you.” He tugged and I fell back on the bed on top of him.
“Will, come on,” I whined as he wrapped his arms around me and clung like a koala. A very large koala.
“Nope. Never letting you go.”
“I just gave you head and swallowed. Can I please go brush my teeth? You can come with me if you want.”
“Oh, right. Sorry about that.” He let me go, but I grabbed his hand and pulled him up with me.
I gave him a kiss on the cheek before grabbing some clothes and throwing Will’s back at him.
“You know, I should just keep some clothes here, if I’m going to be spending the night,” he said, putting his shirt over his head and covering up his chest and stomach. I almost pouted at the loss of the visual.
“Oh, so you’re moving in now?”
I put on a bra and a tank top, then a pair of panties and a ratty pair of shorts.
“You look so good like that,” Will said, staring at me. “I mean, if I hadn’t seen you naked, this would be my favorite look for you. Have I told you how much I love your ass? Like, seriously love it.” He stood in front of me, reaching around and grabbing said ass, squeezing and massaging so much that I wanted to throw him back in bed. Hadn’t we had enough of each other for 24 hours? How could I still have the energy to want him inside me again?
“Hey, I have a crazy idea. How about we skip class today and go have breakfast and then do . . . whatever we want.” I had a feeling I knew what he would want.
“That is a crazy idea and, while I love it, I can’t. I can’t miss class, Will. Remember our New Year’s resolutions? There’s no way I’m losing.” I really wanted that money.
“One day isn’t going to sink your GPA, Aud.”
“They also said an iceberg couldn’t sink the Titanic and look what happened there.”
He sighed, and I smelled defeat.
“Please? It’s Friday. No professor does anything on Friday. Please? Please?” Oh, if only he hadn’t said please. I looked up at him as he rubbed his hands up and down my back.
“Please?”
He kissed my cheek and then lowered himself to his knees, lifting my shirt and dipping his tongue into my bellybutton.
“Please?”
He kissed lower, his hands slowly dragging the shorts and underwear I’d just put on down my legs. And then his mouth was busy and I was the one begging.
I should have felt bad for making Audrey miss class. A little part of me did. But she had a tendency to be, hmm, a little, uptight? Not that her being academically driven was a bad thing. I loved how smart she was and how she cared so much about school.
Sometimes, though, you needed a break. A day to be young and foolish. A day spent in bed with ice cream and bad movies, or running around outside, or driving around and listening to the radio.
I didn’t care what we did today, as long as I got to do it with her.
“You are such a terrible influence,” she said as she ran a brush through her hair after her shower. I’d begged to shower with her, but she’d finally said no to me.
“What would everyone think?” she’d said.
“That you have an awesome boyfriend?” It was the first time I’d called myself that, out loud to her face.
“Be that as it may, I don’t want to be one of those girls who takes a shower with her boyfriend in the dorms.” With that, she’d skipped off and I’d been left waiting in her room for her.
I’d been surprised she’d given in so easily to my plan for playing hooky. Granted, I had gone down on her to make her say yes, so I’d played kind of dirty to get what I wanted.
“So what are we going to do today?” she asked, running a brush through her silky hair.
“I didn’t plan that far ahead,” I said. “But I am hungry and I’d like to get something to eat.”
“Okay.” She looked over her shoulder at me, a towel loosely wrapped around her. All I’d need to do was tug a little and she’d be naked in front of me, her skin still damp from her shower. Breakfast could wait.
And then my stomach growled.
“We should probably hurry. I wouldn’t want you to starve.” She turned on her hairdryer and that drowned out conversation for a minute. I decided that I should probably take a shower as well. And clothes. I needed new clothes. Simon was already in class, so I could definitely sneak back to my room without anyone knowing.
I’d already texted Simon that I’d stayed over at Lottie and Zan’s. He knew how much I hated sleeping in a room by myself. I was going to have to come clean tonight at dinner, but for today, I wanted it to just be Aud and me.
“I’m going to go shower,” I said loudly. She nodded and I grabbed a towel from her closet and her shower caddy. I definitely wouldn’t mind smelling like Aud today.
A girl was also leaving her room at the same time I left Aud’s and she gave me a look as I headed to the shower. I just grinned at her. Earlier this year, I would have found her attractive, but now it was like I had blinders on. I could appreciate that other girls were pretty, but it was like they all dimmed in comparison to Aud. She glowed like a firework.
After I’d washed with all Audrey’s products and rinsed, I wrapped the towel around my waist and headed back to her room.
“Hey,” I said, closing her door. She was in the midst of putting her hair back in a ponytail. Her mouth dropped open.
“What?”
“You walked back here like that? Why didn’t you put your clothes back on?” She seemed horrified.
“Uh, yeah. I didn’t want to put my clothes back on because, you know, they’re from yesterday; but then I was thinking that the only way to go get more clothes is to put these ones back on because my other clothes are back at my dorm, and then I thought maybe I could borrow something of yours, or something, and then I just decided to wear the towel.”
Audrey shook her head and burst out laughing.
“You’re so much like your sister sometimes,” she said, giving me a kiss.
“I am not. She rambles all day. My rambles are an isolated incident.” Her hands dragged down my still-wet chest.
“I can go get some clothes, if you want to wait here. I don’t mind. As long as you don’t care what I pick out.”
That could be interesting. Aud always looked nice and I definitely didn’t care about fashion.
“I don’t want to make you walk all the way up the hill to get me clothes.” That would be stupid.
“No, really. It’s fine. I think I need a walk anyway.” She’d been so there with me since she’d told me she loved me and now, all of a sudden, I could feel her pulling away again.
“Aud?” She just smiled at me as she slipped her boots on and her heavy peacoat. Shut up, I know what a peacoat is because my sister wears one.
“I’ll be right back.” And then she was out the door.
I sighed and sat down on her bed before picking up her towel and using it to dry my hair. I loved how it smelled now.
My phone buzzed with a new text.
I know what you did last night, you virtue stealer.
Of course it was from my sister and of course she knew what I’d done last night. She knew everything, just like I knew everything about her.
There was no virtue stealing, Lot. Calm your shit down.
I could visualize her glaring at me through the phone and furiously typing a response.
What the hell are you talking about? You totally had sex with Aud.
This really wasn’t the kind of thing I wanted to talk about via text, or at all, but I knew Lot wouldn’t let it go until we’d hashed this out.
Are we really going to do this via text?
Her response was so quick, it was like she’d anticipated what I’d say and had pre-typed it.
Nope. I’m standing outside Aud’s building waiting for someone to let me in.
Of course she was. Because she was my sister and it was her mission in life to ruin mine.
I’m walking up the stairs . . .
I ran to the door and flicked the lock, but I knew it would only be a matter of time before Lottie found a way in. She was obsessed with roofs, and I could picture her rappelling down the side of the building and coming in through the window.
I stood by the door and waited. I could sense her coming closer, even though I couldn’t hear footsteps.
“I can hear you out there, Lot,” I said through the seam of the door.
Slowly We Trust Page 12
