by Karyn Bosnak
“I’ll see if he invites me. I don’t want to throw myself into a mix with all his coworkers if he doesn’t want me there.”
“I agree,” she said. “Okay, well then, I’ll call you when I get in on Monday.” Who is she kidding? She’d call me tonight, and then I’d call her tomorrow. Naomi and I talk on the phone every day, twice a day. It was like I hadn’t moved.
“Okay,” I said. With that, I hung up the phone.
BRAD AND I WENT OUT AGAIN that Saturday night, and he again came over afterward and stayed the night. And again he was weird with his zipper. But he did ask me to join him and Naomi for dinner on Tuesday night with their coworkers, so I was happy about that. I was anxious to see how he would act toward me in front of other people.
On Monday morning I woke up at 6:30 A.M. so I could get to Crunch by 7 to meet Sam. As planned, I moved my training appointment up so I could go to dinner with Naomi that night.
I left work around eight to meet Naomi at a new restaurant called Guastavino. Guastavino just opened and was located underneath the 59th Street Bridge. The ceiling of the restaurant was the actual restored base of the bridge. I was the first to arrive and waited at the bar. And waited at the bar. Naomi finally arrived twenty minutes late.
“Hi!” she shrieked while hugging me.
“Hi!” I shrieked back. It was so nice to see her again! “How are you?”
“Oh, I’m drunk,” she said.
“You’re drunk?”
“Yeah. We had this meeting this afternoon, and then afterward everyone left and went to this bar by the office, and now I’m just wasted. Oh, and Brad was there,” she said, like she had some scoop.
“He was?” I asked. “Did he say anything?”
“No, but this guy he works with asked me what was up with Brad and my friend—which is you. That means that Brad must have told him about you.”
“That’s kind of good. Right?” I asked.
“I think so because he probably wouldn’t have said anything if he didn’t like you,” she added. “But I’m drunk, what do I know.”
“We’ll see how he acts tomorrow night,” I said.
The hostess led Naomi and me to our table, where we proceeded to order whatever we wanted because she had an expense account! The food was good, but the people watching was better. Guastavino was filled with older rich men and the women looking to meet them. It was a Monday night, a normal weeknight, and women were decked out in Diane von Furstenberg dresses, high heels, and costume jewelry. They were dressed to kill.
After dinner, Naomi and I walked the three short blocks to where I lived so I could show her my apartment and grab my overnight bag.
“It’s so small,” she said.
“I know but it’s cute, isn’t it?” I said.
“Yeah, it’s really cute,” she said. “Is that where the alleged zipper debacle took place?” she asked, pointing at my bed.
“Yes, it is,” I answered. We both stared at the bed silently and just shook our heads for a while.
“Anyway,” I said, turning to Naomi, “I have a surprise for you.”
“I love surprises! What is it?” she asked.
“I bought us matching pajamas for our slumber party!” I said, pulling out two sets of Nick & Nora flannel pajama sets from my closet.
“Oh my gosh, I love Nick and Nora!”
“I know, aren’t they cute?” I said. She agreed. We decided to both change into our pajamas right then before we went to the Plaza. It was more fun that way. On the way out, I introduced Naomi to my doormen and we asked them if they would take a picture of us. We were excited for our slumber party and were going to capture the event on film. They took our picture, and then hailed us a taxi. A few minutes later, we arrived at the hotel. As the taxi pulled into the circular drive, a bell cap walked over and opened the door. We asked him if he would also take a picture with us, and he obliged.
“We are so trashy,” I said, turning to Naomi.
“Oh, I know it. But it’s so fun!”
We looked up at the hotel, which was all lit up and just seemed to glow. We then followed the bell cap inside and just stood there and stared. It was so elegant! There were crystal chandeliers, oriental rugs, oil paintings, and flowers everywhere. It was so opulent! We did not belong in a place like the Plaza. Especially in our pajamas. The bell cap pointed out the front desk. Naomi and I just looked at each other and burst into laughter. A few seconds later we composed ourselves and approached the man behind the counter.
“Hi,” Naomi said to the man behind the desk, “we’re here to check in.”
“Can I have your name, please?” he asked.
“Sure, my name is Naomi and this is my friend Karyn,” she said. “The room is under my name though.” The man seemed charmed by our delightful demeanor, as I am sure he deals with a lot of stiff people here every day.
“We’re having a slumber party,” Naomi whispered to him as he typed her name into the computer. “We’re not lesbians or anything.” The man looked up.
“A slumber party?” he asked, noticing our matching pajamas. “Well, I hope you two have a nice time.” While we waited for the man to finish checking us in, another bell cap came over and took our bags. We guessed he was going to take them to our room.
“Okay, Miss Naomi and Miss Karyn, I’ve just checked and because we have some more availability, I have upgraded you two delightful young ladies to a suite. More room to enjoy your slumber party.”
“A suite? Really?” Naomi turned to me and we both started to jump up and down.
“Cool!” I said. “We get to stay in a suite at the Plaza!”
“Thank you so much!” we said in unison.
“Is Eloise gonna be on our floor?” I asked the man.
“No, miss, I’m sorry, she lives on a different floor,” he said.
“How about Kevin McCallister?” I asked. “Is he still here?”
“Who?” he asked.
“Kevin McCallister—Macaulay Culkin. Home Alone,” I clarified.
“Oh, no, miss, he checked out a while ago.”
“Okay,” I said.
“Here is your key card. Enjoy. And thank you for coming to the Plaza,” he said.
On our way to the elevator, Naomi and I saw the picture of Eloise that hangs in the lobby and proceeded to take pictures by it. We rode the elevator up to our room, which was on the eighth floor, and again took photos in the elevator. We found our room, and Naomi put the key in the lock.
“Are you ready?” she asked.
“I’m ready,” I said.
Naomi proceeded to open the door and we walked in.
“Oh. My. Gosh!” we said in unison.
The room was so beautiful! And big! It was bigger than my apartment. Two crystal chandeliers were hanging from the high ceiling. The walls had silk wallpaper that was set off by beautiful molding. On one side of the room, there was a huge mahogany television cabinet, and next to that a door to a walk-in closet, which was about as big as my apartment. On the other side of the room, there was a couch and two club chairs, along with a door to the bathroom. And a huge king-size bed was smack dab in the middle.
“Could you imagine living in a place like this?” I said to Naomi, wherever she was.
“It’s amazing!” she yelled from the bathroom. “They have two robes with ‘The Plaza’ written on them in here.”
“Oh I want one!” I said, running to take a look.
“I bet we have to pay for them if we take one,” she said. She then lit up, “But that’s what expense accounts are for!”
“Cool!” I said, trying a robe on. She put one on too.
A few moments later there was a knock on the door.
Naomi and I jumped.
“Are we expecting visitors?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “Did you order a stripper?”
“No,” I replied.
“Oh, I bet it’s our bags,” she said. “Crap! Do you have any money? We have to tip him.”<
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“I don’t have anything,” I said. “I’m dead broke.”
“But you look good,” she said, “and that’s important.”
“Thank you,” I said.
Naomi found her purse and scrounged together $5 from the bottom in change. It was better than nothing, I guess. We then opened the door.
“Hello there,” we said in unison while wearing our matching pajamas and matching Plaza robes.
“Well, hello, ladies,” said the bell cap. “Looks like you are having a nice time. Here are your bags. Shall I bring them in?”
“Oh, please do,” we said.
“Would you like me to turn down your bed?” he asked.
“Oh, no, sir, we can do that on our own,” Naomi said while handing him our tip.
“Very well then,” he said as he turned to leave.
That night we climbed in bed. After talking for what seemed like hours, we finally started to drift off to sleep.
“Naomi,” I said on the brink of sleeping.
“Yes?” she answered.
“You’re kinda like my sugar mama,” I said.
“I am, aren’t I?” she said.
“Thanks,” I said.
“You are welcome,” she said. “Just no funny business under the covers.”
“I promise,” I said. Girlfriends are the best.
ONE DIVINE NIGHT
The next day I met Naomi at Bloomingdale’s after work. She may have technically been in New York on business, but we both knew that Bloomingdale’s was the real reason she came. She was just as taken aback by the size of the store as I was, and we each bought a great outfit for our dinner out with Brad that night. I bought a cotton Cacharel button-up shirt/dress, which would be perfect for the tapas restaurant/wine bar called Divine Bar, where we were going to meet Brad later that evening.
Naomi and I arrived at the restaurant about twenty minutes late and saw Brad waiting with a couple of friends at the bar. He greeted us each with a kiss, and then introduced us to a guy he worked with named Lou and another business associate who was visiting from another country named Ali. Ali was from Yemen, and Lou…well, Lou was from Long Island.
During dinner the wine flowed freely, and all of us had a very good time. Ali was single and looking for a girlfriend, and told Naomi and me that his ideal woman would act as his servant. Apparently in Yemen this was a normal thing. But Ali was now in America, and Naomi and I quickly had to remind him of it.
Brad sat next to me and frequently put his arm around me and grabbed my hand all throughout dinner. He was very touchy-feely, which I didn’t mind at all. Every time he showed affection, Naomi kicked me under the table. When dinner was through, Naomi and I went to the bathroom.
“Okay, I take it back,” Naomi said to me once the bathroom door closed.
“Take what back?” I asked.
“He’s not gay,” she said. “He’s totally into you.”
“I know!” I said. “Then why can’t I get him to go for it in the sack?”
“It’s gotta be small,” she said, laughing. “It really is the only logical explanation.”
“Maybe he’s religious or something,” I said, hopeful.
“Oh, he’s not religious!” she said, laughing. “Perhaps he’s just a prude and isn’t used to slutty girls like you.”
“I’m not a slut,” I said, grabbing for my lipstick.
“Oh, I’m kidding,” she said. “Maybe he just needs motivation. Do you have any sexy lingerie or something? Maybe he just needs to be turned on a bit more.”
“Not really. All I have is a pair of silk geisha pajamas that I bought in Thailand, and my Nick and Nora flannel pajamas from last night.”
“Skip the flannels, those won’t turn anyone on. But the geisha ones might work. If they don’t, then he’s a lost cause.”
“Okay,” I said.
We went back to the table and finished our drinks. Afterward, we all went dancing at a nearby club. After about an hour, we said our good-byes. Ali and Naomi went back to their hotels, Lou went back to Long Island, and Brad came over to my apartment.
As Brad and I were kissing on the couch, I started thinking about my geisha pajamas. I didn’t know exactly when to pull them out. Finally, a few minutes later Brad got up to move to the bed, and I decided that it was a perfect opportunity to change.
“Can you hold on a second?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said.
I ran over to my dresser, grabbed my red pajamas and went into the bathroom. As I unfolded them, I noticed they were a bit wrinkly, but I doubted he’d notice. I quickly changed, and looked in the mirror. I looked cute, but cute was exactly what I was going for. I was missing something…. What was I missing? Makeup! Yes, makeup! Fun, slutty makeup would do the trick!
I reached in my makeup bag under the sink and pulled out my black eyeliner. On my upper lid right at the edge of my lashes, I drew a super-thick line that made me look very geisha-like. When I was done, I stood back to reexamine myself. Yes! That did the trick! I looked like every man’s geisha dream! If I were Brad, I’d want to pull down my zipper. With that, I walked out of the bathroom, dimmed the lights and walked over to where Brad was sitting on the bed.
“Herro, Brad. Mee Kareeen. Me hewe to make you—”
Brad started laughing and cut me off. “Okay, stop talking, please, because you look hot, and your fake Asian accent is about to ruin it.” With that, Brad grabbed me and pulled me onto the bed. I started laughing. He jumped on top of me and we started kissing. Wow! These PJs sure did throw a spark into things.
A little while later, as things were heating up, I decided to go for the zipper once more. Very slowly, I reached my hand down there and started to pull. One notch…and then another notch…and then another notch. He didn’t try to stop me. I waited a bit more, and then decided to go for the gusto. With one big swoop, I pulled the zipper the rest of the way down. It worked! Long live the geisha!
Soon enough Brad completely wiggled out of his pants, and after that my geisha pajamas fell off too. It was just me and Brad—body to body. I know what you are wondering. Was it small? Well, a real woman never tells. But I’ve never been a real woman, so I’ll you it was just perfect!
That night Brad slept over again, but when I woke up the next morning he was gone. I looked over and saw a note sitting on the edge of my bed and grabbed it.
Karyn,
Good morning, beautiful geisha girl! Thanks for the glorious night. I had an early morning meeting and didn’t want to wake you. I’ll give you a call later.
Brad
PS—Loved the pajamas. Do you have more where those came from?
Beautiful geisha girl! Wowie! With a smile on my face, I got ready and went to work. Later that afternoon, I called Naomi. She was at the airport waiting for her flight.
“Hello?” she said.
“He’s not gay and it’s not little,” I said.
“What’s not little? Oh wait! No way!” she screamed.
“Way!” I said. “The pajama thing worked. And I gotta get more! My sex life depends on it.”
“Get more what?” she asked confusedly.
“More pajamas!” I said. “I need more! I’m going to go to Saks this weekend. I hear they have a stellar lingerie department.”
“Oh I love Saks,” she said.
“Me too! I love sex too!” I said.
“Saks. I love Saks. Well, sex too, but also Saks,” she said.
“Okay, so I’ll keep you posted on my progress,” I said. “And thanks again for letting me shack up with you at the Plaza.”
“You are welcome,” she said, “just don’t go fallin’ in love and forget all about your sugar mama.”
“I won’t,” I said.
SEXY SAKSY SLEEPWEAR
The remainder of the week was crazy at work. The show was set to premiere in just two weeks, so the pressure was on all of the producing teams to pump out the best cases that we could. I worked long hours on Thursday and Fr
iday, and had plans to see Brad again Saturday night. So that meant that Saturday day was my day to lingerie shop.
I got my hair done at Red Salon again in the morning, and headed out to Saks Fifth Avenue afterward to get started. I was a big fan of the Saks in Chicago, and was sure that the New York original wouldn’t let me down. And after another one of those shamporgasms, I was really in the mood!
Just as I suspected, the Saks in New York was amazing. The first floor was filled with makeup and purses, and the second floor and up was all clothing! Before I headed upstairs to get started, I stopped by my favorite makeup counter, Nars, to get some blush.
I hadn’t been to the Nars counter in ages and was delighted to find out that they had many new products. I try to seek out products that say they are one thing but can also be something else. You really get more bang for your buck with those types of things. Which is why I bought an eye shadow/eyeliner called Night Clubbing. It was jet black with a hint of sparkle and even though I doubt I’d wear it to a lot of clubs, it looked cool. I also bought a red stain called Pussycat that could be used on both your lips and your cheeks. However, it worked better on your cheeks when mixed with a bronzing stick called Palm Beach, so I bought one of those too. And since I could also use the bronzing stick on my eyes, it was okay. And to make the stain more versatile for my lips, I bought two lip glosses that changed the color a bit. I got a pink goopy one to tone it down called Baby Doll, and an orange-coral one that brightened it up called Sunset Strip.
I also got something called a Push Eyeliner Brush that helped apply the black eye shadow/eyeliner by pushing it right into my lashes. And I also got some eye makeup remover to help take it off. So with all of that in addition to the basics that I went there to buy, which was really just blush in my favorite color, Desire, the total came to almost $200! It was pricey, but all the stuff would last me a long time.
Not far from the Nars counter was the Clarins counter. And they were giving away a free gift with any purchase over $50. I had been eyeing their Body Lift cream for a while now, ever since I read an article in a magazine that said it really worked. They said that in addition to getting rid of cellulite, it actually took inches off your thighs! And with all the lingerie that I was planning on wearing, I figured now was a perfect time to buy some. And since one bottle was $50, I would be able to get the free gift!
