“Let’s set up a buffet on the coffee table,” Kendall suggested. “We can eat a little bit of everything.”
“Sounds good to me.”
Jonah retrieved plates from the cabinet, and Kendall pulled open a drawer and removed two forks. Then they each grabbed as many containers as they could carry before making a second trip.
“Looks like we’re eating our emotions tonight,” Jonah said, surveying the bounty.
Kendall hiccupped, then giggled. “And drinking.”
“Cheers to that too,” Jonah said, clinking his glass against Kendall’s before taking a longer drink.
Their conversation stalled as they dished food onto plates and began eating. The lull in conversation allowed Jonah’s mind to wander, and the path inevitably led him to his intern. He pictured Avery’s enthralled expression while working out some of the kinks with Jonah’s microchip design. He’d been so caught up in his work, Avery hadn’t noticed Jonah watching him. Avery’s tongue had darted out to lick his lower lip when he got close to figuring a problem out, or he’d chewed on his pencil when he felt frustrated. Jonah wanted Avery’s tongue and teeth all over his body. He recalled the way Avery’s long fingers danced over the keyboard and wanted to feel those nimble digits pushing all Jonah’s buttons. And the gasp he’d made when he saw Jonah’s tattoo? Fuck me. He would hear the sound during his fantasies for sure.
“What’s troubling you?” Kendall asked, startling Jonah back to the present. “Is Trexler being a douche again?”
Jonah chuckled. “Still, not again. I’d say he’s acting extra douchey.” He poured them another drink and decided to skip the ice for the second round too.
He told Kendall everything, starting with the brutal meetings from the previous day and ending with Malcolm insisting Jonah discuss the Ison investigation with Trexler. He left out the parts about Avery spilling coffee on him or the moment they shared in the restroom afterward. Jonah would unpack that later when he was alone.
“You win the prize for the shittiest thirty-six hours,” Kendall said softly. “I’m so sorry to hear about Marla, Jonah. It’s a beautiful thing you’re trying to do for her, and I know you’ll get justice for Earl in the process.”
“Thanks,” he said awkwardly. It amazed Jonah how much easier it was for him to accept criticism over praise.
A full stomach and two potent drinks were making Jonah feel drowsy. Kendall poured a third drink for them both, and Jonah knew he wasn’t the only one struggling with demons. “What’s wrong? Whose ass do I need to kick for hurting you?”
Kendall snorted. “Mine. I should’ve ignored Travis’s text messages. I knew he didn’t want to meet for dinner to talk about old times, or at least it wasn’t his only motivation.”
“Is this the guy from last night?” Jonah asked.
“And this morning,” Kendall said with a wry smile.
Jonah shot him the middle finger just like he had in his text. “Old times?” he asked. “How long have you known this Travis putz?”
“Oh, about sixteen years,” Kendall replied casually.
Jonah turned his head too quickly and the room spun a little. He waited until he only saw one Kendall instead of two before he spoke. “Sixteen years?”
“Mmmhmm,” Kendall said. “That’s when his father married my mother. I was nine and Travis was eleven.”
Jonah just stared at him for a few moments. “Travis is your stepbrother?”
Kendall grinned wickedly. “Uh-huh.”
“So, how long have the two of you, um…”
“Been fucking?” Kendall asked nonchalantly.
“Yeah,” Jonah replied.
“We fooled around when we were in high school, but it never went beyond mutual hand jobs until we were adults. I think Travis was a college sophomore by then, and I’d just graduated high school.” Kendall looked at Jonah and smiled. “You should see the thunderous expression in your eyes. Travis didn’t take advantage of me. Not then, and not now. I knew what I was getting into, and I was the one who invited him back here last night, all the while knowing he could never give me what I want.”
“Which is?” Jonah asked.
“I don’t want to sound like some stupid sap, but I want to be the most important person in his life.” Kendall closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “He’s so deep in the closet, J. I don’t think he’ll ever truly see the light of day. Even if he comes out to his family and coworkers, he will never pursue a relationship with me.”
“Why not?” Jonah asked.
“For one thing,” Kendall said, “he’s the kind of guy with big career aspirations and banging his stepbrother would be frowned upon in any social circle.” He smiled sadly at Jonah. “And even if that didn’t bother him, my lack of education and my side hustle at The Cockpit embarrasses him.”
“You’re studying to become a paralegal,” Jonah said. “How does he know what kind of establishment The Cockpit is if he hasn’t seen the sexy aviator uniforms in person? He sounds like the typical self-hating, closeted gay.”
“Uniform?” Kendall asked. “It’s a pair of booty shorts, a mesh crop top, aviator glasses, and a pilot’s hat.”
“And you wear them so very well,” Jonah said, smiling fondly at the memories of the night he met Kendall at the club. “Back to my point. How does he know about the uniforms?”
“You think you’re the first guy I fucked in the back seat of a car during my dinner break, Jonah? That’s the kind of guy I am, and it’s not what Travis will be looking for if he ever comes out.”
“You’re worth so much more than you think. Someday, you’ll find a guy who helps you realize it.”
Kendall reached over and squeezed his hand. “You deserve the happiness you insist on denying yourself. Someday, the perky intern will help you realize it.”
“You think so, huh?” Jonah asked drowsily.
“I know so.”
Jonah sighed. “Won’t be today.”
Kendall pressed a cool hand to Jonah’s cheek. “That’s why we have tomorrows.”
Jonah knew all too well they weren’t guaranteed a tomorrow. “Maybe,” he said, leaning his head back against the couch and closing his eyes.
The next thing he knew, his alarm clock was blaring. Jonah reached over and turned it off. The motion created a jolt of pain in his skull. What the fuck had happened to him? Was he involved in an accident? His mouth was dry and tasted horrible. What was that noise? Was someone singing?
He cracked one eye open and regretted it immediately. The room started to spin, making him nauseous as fuck. Jonah recognized the symptoms. He had a fucking hangover, a condition he hadn’t experienced in a long time. He usually exercised more control and could handle liquor better than this. What the hell was that screechy racket? It was someone singing. Then Jonah heard the water running in his bathroom. Someone was singing in his shower. Who? It hurt to think, but he tried anyway. It had just been him and Kendall at home last night. They’d eaten Chinese food, drank excellent bourbon, and talked. Another recollection followed the first. And then another. Kendall helping him to the bathroom to throw up when he’d woken from his nap on the couch. Kendall pressing a cool rag to his forehead and cheeks. Kendall kissing his forehead. Kendall tucking him into bed, and Jonah reaching out to stop him before he could walk away.
“Stay,” Jonah had begged.
“This isn’t a good idea,” Kendall countered as he pulled back the covers and slid between them.
Oh, God. What had he done?
The shower shut off and the singing got louder. After a few minutes, Kendall walked out of the bathroom, wearing nothing but a towel and a joyful smile on his face.
“Oh, God. What did we do?”
“You don’t have to sound so goddamned stricken right now,” Kendall said, placing his hands on his hips, nudging the towel a little lower. “You also don’t have to imply I’m the kind of guy who sexually assaults another while he’s too drunk to give consent. I might be easy, but I’
m not sleazy.”
Despite everything, Jonah’s lips twitched into a semi-smile. Just that little motion reminded him of how miserable he felt.
“Furthermore, you couldn’t have gotten it up last night even if Avery paraded around in front of you buck-ass naked.”
“I wouldn’t bet on it,” Jonah said dryly.
“You know what today is?” Kendall asked cheerfully.
Jonah had to think, which was unbelievably painful. How much bourbon did I drink? “Um, Wednesday?”
“Yes, actually,” Kendall said. “More importantly, it’s the day you take the bull by the horns or the intern by the balls, and make shit happen. Plus, you’re going to get justice for Earl and Marla.”
Jonah groaned as the events from the past few days began to crystalize and take shape in his muddled brain. He couldn’t afford to lie around and moan about his poor decisions when Marla needed him.
“I won’t be taking Avery by the balls, K.”
Kendall crossed his arms over his chest. “Why not?”
“He’s seeing someone,” Jonah replied.
“Since when?” Kendall scoffed.
“Yesterday.”
“Ah, I see,” Kendall said, fixing Jonah with a determined look. “One date or even night of sex isn’t strong enough to extinguish the torch the sweet boy is carrying for you.”
“Sweet boy?” Jonah asked. “He’s twenty-five. Same as you.”
“Maybe on paper, but I’m decades older in experience,” Kendall countered.
Jonah’s eyes snagged on the tiny scrap of blue fabric lying in the middle of his bedroom floor. It took him a moment to recognize them as Kendall’s shorts. “Are you sure we didn’t do anything?”
Kendall sighed. “I stripped out of the shorts on the way to the shower, not before I got in your bed. Pull back the blanket and look at yourself. Are you wearing underwear?” Jonah lifted the sheet and comforter and saw he was indeed wearing his boxer briefs. “There’s your answer,” Kendall said huffily. “I can’t believe you question my character.” He bent over to retrieve his shorty shorts with a dramatic flourish and ended up losing his towel in the process. “Oopsie,” Kendall said, making no attempt to cover himself as he left Jonah’s bedroom.
“I hope you saved some hot water for me,” Jonah called out, wincing when the effort sent a stabbing pain through his brain. His water heater was starting to show its age, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before he had to replace it.
Kendall’s voice rang out from down the hall. “More than you deserve.”
Jonah gingerly got out of bed and padded to his bathroom, where he took the hottest shower he could stand. After he finished and toweled off, Jonah saw Kendall had left a cup of hot coffee, a bottle of cold water, toast, and three Advil tablets on his nightstand.
He planned to thank Kendall for his kindness and apologize for jumping to conclusions when he got downstairs, but his roommate had already left. Jonah had to settle for sending a text instead. Even though Kendall didn’t appear to be angry with him, Jonah had meant what he’d said at dinner. The guy deserved better treatment than he allowed. If Jonah wanted Kendall to believe it, then he needed to demonstrate his sincerity.
Kendall’s reply was a simple xoxoxo.
He made a quick trip to Ling’s to pick up his Caramel Bugles. “How’s Dakota working out?” Jonah asked Mrs. Ling.
“He’s a good boy. Just needs someone to care,” she said with an easy smile. Mrs. Ling tried to give him the Bugles for free, but Jonah refused her kind offer.
Mrs. Ling wasn’t one to take no for an answer and began negotiating a deal. Jonah ended up accepting a ten percent discount because he still felt like sunbaked roadkill, and he’d be sick if she called him a hero one more time.
Once at the bureau, Jonah kept his head down and didn’t make eye contact with anyone as he navigated the labyrinth of hallways. He held up his hand in silent greeting to those who ignored his body language but didn’t stop moving until he reached the blissful peace of his office. Let their tongues wag about his present mood.
“Whoa. You look rough as hell. Are you ill?” Avery asked softly as he entered the room with a steaming cup of coffee in his hand.
Jonah looked up and wished he hadn’t. The expression in Avery’s eyes was a mixture of concern, compassion, and something else Jonah was too afraid to acknowledge. If he did, there’d be no turning back.
“I might’ve had too much to drink last night. It wasn’t my smartest move,” Jonah said, his voice sounding as ravaged as he felt. He had to pull himself together before meeting with Trexler, so he reached for his vice. “Want some?” he asked, opening the bag and tipping it toward Avery.
His intern approached the desk cautiously. “In all these months, you’ve never once offered me one of your beloved Bugles. The end must be near.”
In response, Jonah rolled his eyes and shook the bag to double down on his offer.
Avery slowly slid his hand inside the bag. It felt as intimate to Jonah as if the younger man had ghosted his fingertips over his bare flesh. Avery snagged a few caramel-covered corn snacks before retreating. “Let’s see what the fuss is all about,” he teased, popping one into his mouth. “Mmmm.”
“Now you get it,” Jonah said before tossing back a handful of Bugles.
“What rattled you so hard that you went home and got drunk?” he asked. “Is it me? Have I finally driven you to drink?” Avery asked.
“Why? Is there an office bet on that too?”
“Jonah,” Avery said somberly. “I’m serious.”
“God, no,” Jonah said. “I’m sorry the thought even crossed your mind.” He gestured for Avery to sit down in the chair across from him, offering his bag of corn snacks again. Avery smiled but shook his head. “I received some terrible news about a friend on Monday night. She has terminal cancer.”
“Oh, Jonah. I’m so sorry,” Avery said, reaching across the desk and covering his hand. Jonah was momentarily stunned because it was the first time they’d had skin-on-skin contact. Jesus. How was it something so innocent made his pulse race and left him breathless? A buzz much stronger than awareness sparked along his spine, and he thought he saw the same reaction in the hazel-brown eyes staring back at him. Jonah had to battle the urge to rotate his wrist and lace his fingers with Avery’s.
“Thank you. It really threw me for a loop. Marla seems so indestructible.”
“Is there anything I can do for you?” Avery asked.
Let me count the ways. “There might be.”
“Anything,” Avery said breathlessly.
Pulling his hand back, Jonah made a fist beneath the desk. He wanted to hold on to the sensations Avery brought forth in him a little while longer. “It depends on how my meeting goes with Trexler this morning.”
Avery blinked. “Meeting with Trexler?”
Tearing his eyes away from Avery’s, Jonah checked the time and swore. “I’ll have to explain later. Trexler’s expecting me in five minutes.” He reached inside his middle desk drawer and pulled out the interoffice envelope containing his notes about the discrepancies in the Ison case. “Wish me luck,” Jonah said, pushing back from his desk.
“Um, good luck.”
“Don’t eat all my Bugles, Avery,” Jonah tossed over his shoulder on the way to the door.
“Yes, sir.”
Jonah made the short walk to Trexler’s office, arriving with a minute to spare. His assistant Tabitha looked up from her computer and smiled at him.
“He’s just finishing up with a call, and he’ll be right with you,” Tabby said.
“Thanks,” Jonah said, searching his brain for small talk to engage in while they waited. Weather was always a safe bet, so he went with it.
“Spring is my favorite time of year. I love seeing all the flowers in bloom.”
A big smile spread across Tabby’s face, and Jonah knew where the conversation was headed. “So, who sent Avery flowers?”
“I don’t know,�
� Jonah lied. “Avery didn’t say, and I don’t pry. They just appeared on his desk sometime after lunch yesterday.” Then Jonah realized he hadn’t seen the colorful bouquet on Avery’s desk this morning, but it made sense that he would want to take them home.
The door behind Tabby opened suddenly, cutting off their conversation. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Agent St. John,” Trexler said, offering an apologetic smile, which made Jonah uneasy. The man scowled, belittled, and frowned at him. He never smiled at Jonah, and he sure as hell didn’t apologize.
“It’s no problem, sir,” Jonah said.
“Won’t you come in? I’m sure you have better things to do than gossip with Tabby.” His assistant stiffened and broke eye contact with Jonah. Trexler didn’t wait for a response; he spun on his heels and headed back into his office, expecting Jonah to follow.
Jonah rapped his knuckles on Tabby’s desk, pulling her gaze back up to meet his. He winked and smiled, hoping it would ease the sting she felt from her boss’s crass treatment.
Closing the door behind him, Jonah entered Trexler’s lair. His boss was already seated at his desk, waiting impatiently for Jonah to begin. Trexler looked as debonair as always in a black suit, light blue shirt, and a striped tie. Not a hair was out of place. Trexler had ten years on Jonah, and it had started to show.
“What did you wish to discuss with me?” Trexler asked, interrupting Jonah’s thoughts. The man leaned back against his chair and studied him carefully. A half-smile tugged at the corner of Trexler’s mouth, reminding him of a cat waiting to pounce. Worse, it was the same smug expression Oscar used to wear when he knew he had the upper hand. Jonah’s unease quadrupled.
“I stumbled on to a closed case I feel was poorly investigated at best and criminal misconduct at the worst,” Jonah said. He opened the interoffice envelope and pulled out the summary of facts he’d typed, then slid it across the desk to Trexler. “I’d like permission to request official files so we can determine if the investigation should be reopened.”
His boss kept his eyes locked on Jonah’s instead of looking at the document in front of him. “You’re not a field agent,” Trexler said. “How many times do I have to tell you that?”
Ride the Lightning : Sinister in Savannah Book 1 Page 6
