Slade is seconds behind us as we burst outside. He’s no longer asking questions. The lights of the SUV flash as Slade unlocks it. He doesn’t stop to open our door for us, he rushes to the driver’s side. Hannah yanks open the door and shoves me into the backseat, then practically crawls on top of me to get in herself. Our door is barely closed when Slade slams the car into gear and speeds away.
I watch out the back window as Mr. Perfect and Christi burst out of the mall. The last thing I see before we turn onto the road is him backhanding Christi so hard that she falls to the ground. I turn in the seat and pull my legs up to my chest and bury my head in my knees.
Oh, God. Please. Please don’t let this be happening, I beg. Please let this all be another bad dream. Just this once. Please.
Hannah slides over to me and pulls me into her arms. She rocks me and tells me everything is going to be okay and that I’m safe. Nothing she says calms the hysteria that’s bubbling up to the surface. I’m not safe. Nowhere is safe. I’ll never be safe again.
Distantly, I hear Slade speaking. I drag myself back way from the edge enough to focus. “We’ve got a situation. Shit went bad at the mall.”
I can hear someone screaming on the other end of the phone. I’m guessing Matthew.
Slade interrupts the tirade. “Look, I’m not even sure what the fuck happened. Some chick approached the girls, and next thing I know, your woman is tossing this chick’s phone in the fountain. Hannah got between them, and when I tried to figure out what was going on, Rose had some kind of panic attack.” Slade is cut off by more screaming… a lot more screaming. Slade ignores the yelling. “Then Hannah grabs Rose and takes off running like they were being chased by hell hounds. My Hannah!” Now it’s Slade who is shouting. “We were followed by the woman, and a man who I suspect is the cause of your girls little freakout. I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I do not appreciate my—” Slade stops himself from whatever he was about to say, “—Hannah being put at risk. What the fuck is going on?”
My tears come faster now. He’s right. I put Hannah in danger. “I’m sorry.” I say it once and then over and over again like a mantra, the words echo through my lips.
Hannah’s hold on me tightens, and she makes soothing hushing noises. “It’s okay, hon. Not your fault. Breathe, Rose. You’re going to hyperventilate. Breathe.” When gentle doesn’t get through to me, her voice hardens. “Rose, take a deep breath.”
Something in her tone jars me out of my panic, and I take in a shuddering breath. And another.
“Good girl,” Hannah praises.
Soon, I’m breathing normally again, the panic temporarily stuffed back down inside me.
“You good?” Slade asks, his eyes flicking to the rearview mirror so he can look at me.
“I think so,” I murmur.
“Now that you’re calm, you mind telling me what the fuck just happened?”
“Slade!” Hannah scolds. “Can’t you see she’s fucking traumatized.”
“Of all the times for you to decide to stop with the whole ‘master’ thing you have to pick now? Un-fucking-believable.”
Hannah stiffens, and hurt fills her eyes. I don’t know her well, but I’ve picked up a few things… like she’s madly in love with Slade. Like over-the-moon, completely gone for the man, and despite the fact that he doesn’t return her affection, she’s still loyal to him. She offers her submission no matter how many times he rejects her.
“Slade, please, don’t be mad at Hannah. I don’t want you to fight because of me.”
“We’re not fighting,” Slade growls. “Now, will you please tell me what’s going on?”
Hannah hugs me a little tighter whether to reassure me or herself, I’m not sure.
I chew on the inside of my cheek, debating how much to tell them. I hate the thought that my new friends are going to know I’m just a whore. It’s bad enough that everyone knows I sold myself to Damon for six months… telling them this? They’ll never look at me the same way.
And when Matthew finds out what I am? I choke back a sob just thinking about it. I know exactly how he’ll react. He’ll be disgusted with me. He’ll see exactly how damaged I am, and he won’t want me anymore.
“You can trust us,” Hannah says. “This is a judgment-free zone.”
Pretty to think so. With a defeated sigh, I decide I might as well get it over with. “The woman’s name is Christi, and the man with her is Nelson Grant.”
Slade’s eyes find mine in the mirror, and I can tell something about the name registers with him, but he doesn’t say anything.
“He was my foster father… Matthew’s too.”
This time when Slade meets my eyes in the rearview mirror, I know he’s heard the name Nelson Grant before. I wonder how much he knows. “It’s okay, sweetheart. You can trust us.”
“You know who he is, don’t you?” I ask.
Slade’s eyes grow dark, and I again wonder just how much he knows about Mr. Perfect. “Matthew’s told me some things,” he says evasively.
“To make a long story short, I ran away. I came to New York to disappear. I don’t know why they would even be here. They should be in Chicago…” I trail off. “It doesn’t make any sense. Mr. Perfect never leaves Red House…” I shake myself, trying to speculate why they are here isn’t going to change anything.
What I need to focus on is my next move. I can’t stay here anymore. I’ll never be safe in this city again. Now that they know I’m here, he’ll stop at nothing to get me back. I can’t go back. I’d rather die than go back.
Just the thought of going on the run again fills me with exhaustion. I’m so sick of running. Of always having to look over my shoulder. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s a lonely existence. Never being able to trust anyone, having to be suspicious of everyone and everything. There were nights when I would have to sleep on the street because the shelters were full, always alone and scared. Those nights, for a brief, fleeting moment, I longed for my bed at Red House.
I missed the girls. Well, Cara and Lydia. Some of the girls, like Christi, seemed to enjoy the life we were forced into at Red House. I’ll never understand it. I don’t think I want to understand how a person could come to enjoy being abused. The thought makes me sick.
“What’s Red House?” Hannah asks.
I turn and look into her kind, green eyes. “A whore house for men with particular tastes.”
Her eyes grow wide with understanding, but she doesn’t say anything. Slade’s jaw is so tight I’m surprised his teeth don’t crack. They don’t ask me any more questions after that, thankfully. I try to remember how much cash I have left. I wonder how far it’ll get me. Thankfully, bus tickets can be cheap when you don’t care where you’re going.
I’m so lost in making plans for how I’m going to get out of the city, that I don’t realize we’ve stopped driving. I let out a scream when my door opens unexpectedly. I calm down instantly when Matthew’s worried face comes into view.
“Rosie,” he rasps, then pulls me out of the SUV and straight into his arms. “Are you okay, love?”
“We should go inside to have this little chat, boss,” Slade suggests.
He helps Hannah from the SUV and guides her toward the building. I look up and realize we are at Black Rose. It’s surreal seeing my name on the sign. I didn’t pay attention the night Damon brought me here and when I left with Kisten we went out the employee exit. It wasn’t until Hannah started talking about the club that she realized I didn’t know that it was named after me. I wonder for a moment why Slade brought us here instead of Matthew’s home. Then it hits me, of course Slade brought me here. Matthew is supposed to be working. Instead, he’s worrying over me… again.
We follow behind Slade and Hannah. If Matthew is surprised when Slade leads us to the elevator then to the penthouse above the club, he doesn’t show it. Once we are inside, Matthew leads me to one of the sofas and sits me down. A few seconds later, Hannah hands me a bottle of orange j
uice.
“It’ll help with the shakes,” she says.
I didn’t even realize I was shaking. Adrenaline will do that to a girl, I guess. I take a few careful sips of the juice. “You okay?” Hannah asks.
I just shake my head because, no, I’m not okay. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay.
“Matthew and Slade won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe here.” Hannah sounds so damn sure of herself. Sure of Matthew and Slade. I want to believe it. I really do, but hope is the cruel sister to fate, and she likes to kick me when I’m down. And right now, I’m ten feet under and drowning quick.
Slade and Matthew take a seat, and I know it’s almost time for me to tell my story. The whole story. I jump up from the couch and make an excuse about needing the restroom. I retreat to the privacy of the bathroom and do my best to pull myself together. If I’m not going to run—if I’m going to ask these people to help me—the least I can do is tell them exactly what I am and who they are up against.
When I come out of the bathroom a few minutes later, I’m surprised to see Hannah kneeling between Slade’s legs. She has her head resting against his thigh, and he’s stroking her hair. If I didn’t know any better, I would say they are the picture of a perfect, loving couple. Hannah looks so relaxed and peaceful. All the tension and stress seem to have melted away.
I look at Matthew, then back to Slade and Hannah. I don’t analyze it. I don’t think. I just walk over to Matthew and kneel in front of him. He looks like he wants to protest, but when I lay my head against his thigh and wrap my arms around his leg, clinging to him, he settles back into his chair. His fingers sift through my hair, and I let out a cleansing breath.
I know we have a lot to talk about. I know it’s not fair of me to avoid the conversation, but I selfishly just want to bask in Matthew’s love. I want him to take away all my worries and stress. I don’t want to think anymore, and so, I don’t. I turn all of my focus to the soothing feel of Matthew gently massaging my scalp and running his fingers through my hair.
The most wonderful thing happens as I’m kneeling in front of Matthew. For the first time ever, my mind is quiet. There are no ugly voices telling me I’m a whore, no anxiety or stress or worry or fear… There’s nothing. Just peace.
15
Matthew
I can’t believe she’s kneeling at my feet.
After everything she’s been through, I would never ask this of her. In fact, before she curled her body around my legs seeking comfort, I was pretty sure she would deny her submissive side. We briefly talked about it this morning, and even though she there was trepidation, she didn’t completely shut the idea down.
Honestly, since the day she fell back into my life, I’ve been mentally preparing myself to live a vanilla life for her. Now I’m wondering if I’ll have to sacrifice that part of me. My cock throbs to life at the world of possibilities her submission brings. I squash those thoughts because it could be that she’s just seeking comfort. She saw Hannah kneeling at Slade’s feet and how utterly peaceful she looks and wanted a bit of that for herself. I remind myself again that I will take her however she comes. I refuse to live without her again. She’s mine regardless of the lifestyle we live.
I gently rub her scalp, then run my fingers through her soft hair. I repeat the motion until she is completely lax and making content sounds in the back of her throat. Fuck me, she’s perfect. Everything about this moment feels exactly right. I hate that we can’t just bask in this newfound closeness. Someone accosted my girl, and I need to know who and why so they can pay for scaring Rose.
I refuse to have her living in fear. She’s had enough fear for a dozen lifetimes. I promised her safety, and I’ll be damned if someone is going to threaten that without a reckoning.
16
Rose
“Love,” Matthew says quietly. My whole body is relaxed, my brain quiet for the first time, maybe ever. I can see why Hannah pushes the bar with Slade. There’s not much I wouldn’t do for this level of calm. “You need to tell me what happened.”
I grip his leg tighter and bury my face against him. I don’t want to talk about my past. I hate that it’s going to change how Matthew sees me. Will he still want me when he finds out I’ve spent the ten years we were apart as a whore? Will it matter that I wasn’t willing, or will he be disgusted no matter the circumstances?
“Sweetheart, you can tell me anything. You’re safe with me. Mind, body, and soul. I swear it.”
I swallow thickly, knowing I can’t put it off any longer. “I won’t hold you to that promise, Matthew. You have no idea…” I close my eyes and shake my head sadly. “You shouldn’t promise me anything until you know it all.”
“There’s nothing you could tell me that will make me turn my back on you. I’ve been waiting ten years for you, and I refuse to let you go now.” He sounds so sure of himself that I decide not to argue the point. He’ll change his tune soon enough. “Why don’t you start with something easy. Who were you running from today?”
I sit up straighter, no more snuggling into him even though that’s the only thing I want to do. “Mr. Perfect. He’s here.”
Matthew’s hand tightens in my hair enough that it hurts. I can’t hold in the pained whimper even though I try. His grip instantly loosens, and he gently massages my head soothing away the hurt he inadvertently caused.
“Why the fuck would he be here?” Matthew growls.
The look in his eyes is terrifying. His blue-black eyes look like a raging thunderstorm ready to beat against you until you succumb to its will. I flashback to another time when Matthew looked this feral.
I had been with the Grants for three days when Mr. Perfect snuck into my room at night after everyone had gone to bed. When he attempted to crawl into bed with me, I screamed bloody murder. My screams woke Matthew up, and he came rushing into the room. Mr. Perfect was so shocked by my reaction that he didn’t fight when Matthew pushed him out of the room.
I was too terrified to fall back asleep. My room no longer felt safe. Matthew took me to his room and settled me into his bed. He sat up all night against the door, keeping watch to make sure Mr. Perfect didn’t come looking for me again. Matthew moved into the room with the other boys the next day. He was the only one with his own room, and he willingly gave up his privacy so that I could feel safe.
I wasn’t naïve. I knew exactly what would have happened if Matthew hadn’t come running when I screamed that night. He was my knight in shining armor ten years ago, and he’s been my hero from the moment Damon pushed me into his arms.
“I don’t know why he’s here. He never leaves Chicago.” I have to fight back a sob because it hurts to even think the words I’m about to say. “Now that he knows I’m here, he will never stop looking for me. I have to leave. If he gets his hands on me, he will kill me.”
That’s only partly true. Mr. Perfect would never sully his hands with murder. No, he would find the most sadistic client and give them permission to do anything they want. He would orchestrate my death and make money in the process.
Matthew lets out a low growl, then pulls me off the floor and into his lap. He hugs me close, his arms steel bars around me. “You’re not going anywhere, sweetheart. I just got you back. I’m not letting you go, not now or ever. You hear me?”
I chew my lip, considering my options. The city is massive. Mr. Perfect doesn’t know who I’m staying with. Surely the chances are slim that he would find me. It doesn’t take much for me to talk myself into staying. It’s selfish, but I don’t want to leave Matthew.
“I’ll stay. You have to know… if he finds out you’re hiding me, he will make you suffer.” I cup Matthew’s cheek and look him directly in the eye wanting him to heed my warning.
Slade snorts, drawing my attention. I completely forgot that we aren’t alone. “With all due respect, this Mr. Perfect as you call him is on my shortlist, and I don’t even know what the fuck he did to you yet. He scared Hannah, and that’s an unforgivable
sin in my book.”
Hannah rubs her cheek against Slade’s leg as if she’s trying to calm him. He lets out a frustrated breath. “I promised I would keep you safe, and that’s that. Don’t you worry about this guy. He has no clue what he’s up against if he attempts to harm one hair on your pretty little head.”
Slade reaches down and picks Hannah up and stands. There is some unspoken conversation between him and Matthew before he carries her toward the bedrooms. This penthouse isn’t nearly as big as the other one, but just like at his main home, Slade and Hannah both have rooms here.
Matthew and I are quiet for a long time. Both of us content to just be. Unfortunately, in the silence, my mind wanders to places I don’t want it to go. The stress and anxiety from the day have me fraying at the edges. I do my best to focus on the feel of Matthew’s arms around me, the steady beat of his heart, and his deep, even breathing. I try to siphon off a bit of his strength and self-assuredness, but doubts plague my mind.
Is staying the right thing?
“You have nothing to worry about, Rosie.” I didn’t realize I had spoken out loud until Matthew answered my question. He tenderly caresses my cheek, cupping it in his large hand. “I will make sure you’re safe no matter what it takes. No more running and hiding. You’re mine, and if Nelson Grant wants you, he’s going to have to go through me to get you, and that isn’t happening.”
He says the words so fervently I know he means every word. He’s not scared of Mr. Perfect. If I didn’t know any better, I would say he almost relishes the idea that Mr. Perfect is stupid enough to come up against him. That thought sends a chill down my spine.
Matthew has no idea what that monster is capable of. I love that he wants to protect me, but I struggle to let go of the all-consuming fear. My brain is screaming at me to run. To disappear and not look back. My heart says to stay, consequences be damned. I wish I were a stronger person. If I were, I would never be tempted to put the only person who has ever cared about me at risk. But I’m not strong, and the allure of staying in Matthew’s care is too much to resist.
Unforgettable (Black Rose Doms Book 1) Page 12
