Hannah tried not to fidget as the man looked at her as though she had lost her mind. That struck her as an extreme reaction. Surely, she couldn’t be the only person to ask this question. Of course, he might be thinking since they were ten and twelve, surely they’d been to school before.
“We’re new to town,” she explained. “I just want to make sure it’s the same as at their previous school.” In her mind, she squirmed a little bit. It wasn’t a lie. They were new to town. But she had no idea what they had needed to bring with them on their first day of school in Boston.
“Each child should have a slate and chalk, if possible. I know it might be difficult for you to provide for all three. If it’s too challenging, they could share with some of the other children.”
“Oh, no, we should be able to manage that,” Hannah answered, trying not to hide her relief. That seemed to be a reasonable request.
“If it is within your means, they would also benefit from some paper and pencils.”
Hannah nodded, thinking of the paper she had been hoarding. She would need to get hold of her wayward miserly tendencies and supply the children with some.
“Thank you, Mr. Smith. The children will be here promptly on Monday morning. It was a pleasure to meet you.” She shook his hand and made good her escape.
As she walked back toward the house, Hannah laughed at her own foolishness. Her fears for the children were making her ridiculous. She determined to go to the bank the next morning to withdraw a little money. While she still had plenty from what she had brought with her, withdrawing a little would give her an idea of how much she had access to. And then she would buy a large stack of paper.
Hannah also thought about the conversation she had with her siblings the night before as she walked.
“I’ll be going to meet your teacher tomorrow and make sure you’re enrolled for classes,” she began as the children were nibbling their after-supper cookies. Hannah had thought about sending Francine outside or to her room but didn’t have the heart to cause divisions amongst them.
Brent rolled his eyes. “Do you have to, Han? Can’t I stay home with you? Surely you’ll need me to help you around here.”
“Good try, Brent, but we’ve already discussed this. School isn’t negotiable. You’re only twelve years old. I know you’re very smart, but there are still things you need to learn.”
“Can’t you teach me?”
Hannah laughed. “No! Can you even imagine, Brent? We’d fight like cats and dogs. Besides I’m not qualified to teach you and I don’t have the time to do so.”
Brent huffed an irritated breath but didn’t argue any further.
Hannah bit her lip and continued. “I have to talk to you and Maryanne about something awkward and important, though.”
Her tone of voice must have revealed her disquiet because all three children put down their cookies and looked at her with widening eyes. Hannah tried to smile and make light of the situation. “Don’t look so worried, it isn’t so very dreadful.”
“You look like it’s dreadful, Hannah,” Maryanne whispered. “Did you receive bad news from back home?”
“Did you hear from Uncle Ransom?” Francine interjected. “Did he get hurt?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” Hannah took a deep breath, hurrying to tell them so they wouldn’t worry further. “It’s about Uncle Jason.”
“Did something happen to him?” Brent was puzzled.
“Not that I know of. Remember how you were asking me why we had to leave Boston in such a hurry and I told you I’d tell you later?”
Brent and Maryanne nodded while Francine just looked on with wide eyes.
“Well, I guess now is later. The thing is, when Mother and Father died, they left an inheritance for us. Because I’m an adult, I’m allowed to have control of my portion, but because you two are still young, yours has been put into a trust until you get older.” She offered them a gentle smile, wondering if she were saying the right things, relieved that they didn’t appear to be getting upset. She continued on.
“The thing is, Uncle Jason will be disappointed that he didn’t inherit anything from our parents. If I hadn’t gotten married, I wouldn’t have been allowed to be responsible for you and Uncle Jason would have been. But I was afraid he wouldn’t be nice to you and would steal your money. And I didn’t want to be separated from you. So, I got married and we moved here.”
Brent was staring at Hannah with a look of wisdom far beyond his years sitting awkwardly on his young face. “Are you afraid he might try to steal us away from you?”
“Yes.”
“I’d rather be with you than with Uncle Jason, Han,” Maryanne added, her sweet loyalty making Hannah’s throat tighten. “And I don’t even mind being here in Nebraska. I decided I like all the fields and space.”
Hannah chuckled, recalling their conversation the first day on the train. “I’m so glad, sweetie.” She hoped her smile didn’t wobble too much as she continued. “The thing is, though, I don’t know if Uncle Jason is looking for us. If he is, I don’t want it to be easy for him to find us. Because I got married, my last name changed. You two are still Bowmans, and we’ll always be family. But I’m going to tell the teacher your name is Delaney, like me and Francine.”
Brent surprised Hannah by not being belligerent about it. “That’s all right, Hannah. I guess it makes sense if you really think we need to stay away from Uncle Jason.”
“I really do, at least until we’re all a little older. Maybe even until you’re old enough to take control of your inheritance.”
Brent’s eyes widened at that. “How long is that?”
This made all of them burst into laughter, releasing the nervous tension that had held them in its grip. “Years and years,” Hannah answered with a giggle. “But let’s just try to get through one year and see how we feel after that, all right?”
All three children nodded, making the smile on Hannah’s face grow. “I just love you all so much, I can’t take a chance. Thank you for understanding.”
The girls got up and threw their arms around Hannah while even Brent seemed pleased by her words.
“I love you too, Hannah,” Maryanne said with a sniffle.
“Me, too,” Francine added.
Hannah hugged the girls tight, grateful that the uncomfortable topic had finally been broached and had even turned out to be a success.
Hannah brought herself back to the present as she neared the house. She didn’t want the children to find her looking so preoccupied. Despite how well they seemed to be doing, Hannah was consciously making an effort to show them a secure, carefree existence.
***
Hannah frowned at her reflection. This gown had fit perfectly when they were in Boston. While it was true that she hadn’t worn it in a while, she didn’t think it would have stretched or shrunk with sitting in the trunk. She had been so excited when she realized that even though she had only requested the children’s clothes be sent to her, the housekeeper had included some of Hannah’s things, too. Especially warmer garments. They were sure to need them soon. But what had happened to make the gown be so loose?
As Hannah stood in her room gazing at herself, deep in thought, she realized, now that she gave it some thought, most of her gowns were loose. She just noticed it particularly with this one because of the heavier fabric and she hadn’t worn it since living in Boston. She must have lost weight. With all the physical work she had to do, and her own cooking to eat, the combination must be resulting in a change to her figure.
Blowing a huff of frustration, Hannah threw the offending garment onto the bed. Altering it would have to be added to her list of tasks that needed to be accomplished. With how chilly the mornings and evenings were, they would all need warmer clothing very soon. Even her, although she wasn’t running around outside nearly as much as the children. She was relieved that she didn’t even have to escort the children to school in the morning. It had required a great deal of effort on the firs
t day when Brent had approached her on the subject.
“Han, I think it would be best if I escort the girls to school tomorrow. You have already met with the teacher, so you don’t need to do that on the first day. It’ll save you the trouble.”
“Oh, it’s absolutely no trouble at all, Brent. I want to be there on the first day, especially for the girls, but for you, too.”
The pained look that had crossed Brent’s face alerted Hannah to the direction he was going with his thoughts. He didn’t want to appear as a boy.
“Surely you must realize I’m no longer a child, Hannah. I can’t be needing an escort from my big sister. Or as you are allowing people to think, my mother.” The disgust rolling from his voice helped Hannah keep her face straight as she discussed the matter with him.
“I understand, Brent. But do you think the girls will mind that I’m not there?”
This seemed to draw him up short for a moment and he made a slight concession. “Maybe you could walk us halfway?”
The questioning tone to his voice and the way he had tried so valiantly to sound mature at the beginning of the conversation made Hannah’s heart go out to him. He wanted to be a man, even at only twelve.
“Very well, that will be a good compromise, then. I will walk with the three of you halfway, but then all the responsibility will be upon your shoulders. Are you going to be all right with that?”
The way his chest had swelled over her words let her know before he had even replied that he thought it was going to be just fine. Hannah was so proud of the young man he was already turning into. He had changed so much in the weeks since their parents had died. Hannah’s heart ached over the fact that their parents, their father especially, would never get to see him grow into a man. They would have been so proud of him.
Of course, if their parents hadn’t died, they wouldn’t be here in Nebraska, learning and growing so much from their forced privations. Brent wouldn’t be the big brother trying to be the man of the house. He would still be a belligerent little monster making his sisters’ lives trialsome. Not that he had been so very dreadful before their parents died. More of a scamp than an actual burden. But after their parents died, before he pulled himself to task out here on the frontier, he had been such a belligerent little troublemaker. Hannah had wondered despairingly what she was going to do with him.
On the train, she had been thinking longingly of the husband she was expecting to take her brother in hand. Then that husband had disappeared the day after their arrival. That had certainly thrown a fly in her ointment. But she had persevered and it had all come right in the end. And now here they were. Her brother didn’t want to feel like his mother was walking him to school. That was fine by her. One less task for her pile of things to do. Just as long as the girls didn’t mind. But Hannah was fairly certain, with the way they idolized their big brother, that they would be just as content with his escort as with hers.
It amused her that Brent had been willing to compromise. Perhaps he, too, was a little nervous of the first day of school and didn’t mind her presence so very much, but he didn’t want to be shamed by it. So she would walk with them halfway, hug and kiss them all goodbye, and then stand and watch as they disappeared into their day.
A clog filled Hannah’s throat at the thought. What would she do with herself for the day without the children underfoot? She thought longingly of hot chocolate and novels, how she would have spent a free day at home back in Boston. But she had already reread about six times the only novel she had brought with her. And they didn’t own any hot chocolate. Both situations could be remedied, she supposed, but the mending and alterations wouldn’t do themselves, so perhaps she would tackle that tedious task. It was hard to concentrate on the little stitches required when there was a constant commotion of children in the house. She would have at least six hours of straight silence the next day. It sounded decadent.
***
It was dreadful. She missed the children almost immediately as they had disappeared from view. She knew it was ridiculous. There had been many times when they had been off playing that they had been out of her sight for long stretches of time. But then, there had always been the possibility that they would reappear at any moment. Now, she knew, they would be all day at the school.
While it was true that she was getting many things finished without interruption, the fact was, she was interrupting herself with constantly wondering how they were doing. She was most concerned about Maryanne, who had been undecided how she felt about going to school. Even Brent, who didn’t really want to go, didn’t worry her so much. He had an inborn confidence that would get him through the experience. Maryanne had seemed to take everything in stride since their parents’ death, but Hannah feared the child was becoming too quiet. Hannah wished she knew how to get the little girl to open up.
Maybe she should ask to speak to the town doctor. Surely they covered matters of the heart at medical school. Hannah had to laugh at her absurd thought. She didn’t really think the metaphorical heart and the physical heart were in the same place even though one’s chest hurt when they were sad or upset. But she still thought the doctor might be her best source of advice. Or perhaps the town had a minister. He might know how to handle grief, since he would be expected to deal with all the funerals.
Hannah sighed as she stitched, trying to sew on a button that had mysteriously fallen off Brent’s shirt. She was grateful that she had been taught mending even though it was never supposed to actually be her responsibility. But it was certainly the most useful thing she had been taught as a child. She was well aware that all the correct steps to every dance wouldn’t do her much good if she couldn’t lower her brother’s pants hem or make her sister a new dress for school. And it wasn’t at all helpful to know on which side of the plate the fork should be placed if she couldn’t figure out how to provide the food to go on the plate.
At least she had been allowed to be in the kitchen as a child. She had absorbed more instruction than she had realized, a fact for which she was truly grateful. She hadn’t yet become very adventurous in the kitchen but with the exception of that one dreadfully burnt meal, she had mostly had success. The children hadn’t refused to eat anything she had made and while bland, most everything had turned out edible.
Hannah stared out the window, wishing her husband hadn’t left. While she wasn’t completely sure what she would do with him, she knew it would be useful to have another adult around. She had Scott, of course, but since he was a hired hand, she felt cautious about pouring out her problems to him. He did have sound advice when she was forced to turn to him, and he had been helpful with Brent and his belligerence when they had first arrived, but Hannah didn’t feel the man had a vested interest in the success of her family like a husband would have.
A husband should be present for the moments. The moments when the children said something sweet or questionable or funny. The moments she didn’t know what to say. The scary moments. The lovely moments. Hannah didn’t feel adequate for all the moments they were having as a family, and she wished she had someone to carry it with her. She didn’t resent the responsibilities that had been thrust upon her. She loved her siblings, and little Francine was a delight. She wouldn’t back away from their care until her dying breath. But she was quite sure it would be far nicer to have another perspective. Perhaps a husband would know what to do in the situations in which she felt she was floundering. Like how to help the children with their grief.
She didn’t think it was healthy that none of them were talking about it, but she didn’t know how to open them up. It certainly wasn’t as though she wanted to make them all cry. Heaven knows that prospect made her hold her tongue on any possible occasion. But she needed to know they were managing.
It was probably because she was too young. Hannah was afraid they realized she didn’t know what she was doing. Maybe deep inside their minds they didn’t trust that she could help them with their feelings.
Or maybe she
was being ridiculous and they didn’t even have any deeply hidden feelings. Perhaps she was projecting her own fears and grief onto them. Maybe children were just that resilient and it was really her that needed the counseling.
Hannah had to laugh. That was probably what it really was. But see, just thinking about a husband had helped her work it out. Imagine how much better it would be if she had one who was actually present instead of just one in name only. And in week-old letters. She sighed. She ought to go to the post office to see if there was another one. It would fill her empty day at the very least, she thought as she finished darning the hole Francine had managed to make in her favorite jumper. The outfit would fit the child until her next growth spurt and she loved the thing, so Hannah had to keep it functional for her.
While making sure her bread dough was rising nicely, Hannah surveyed her domain and smiled to see that everything was in its place. Who’d have thought she would take to being a housewife? And who would have thought she would miss the children? When they had first arrived out here, she had been counting the days until school started. She remembered how hard the first couple of days were and she had no idea how to keep them occupied or how to get anything done with them around. Now she couldn’t seem to concentrate on much of anything for wondering how they were doing and how soon they would return.
Shaking her head, Hannah wrapped a shawl around her shoulders and stepped out. If she didn’t dally too long, she could be to the post office and back in time to bake the bread so it would be fresh and warm when the children returned.
The housemaid she had finally decided to send for ought to be here any day. She needed to see if they had received any notification of her arrival. Hannah had struggled with the decision but had finally come to the conclusion that the neighbors wouldn’t care. They had barely paid any attention to their arrival. Surely the arrival of one more young woman wouldn’t cause much of a ripple in the small town, even if the female population were limited. And Hannah had decided she would accept the help.
A Bride for Ransom Page 11
