by S. C. Adams
But I have to take control this time because Tanner and I can’t keep going like this. College girls don’t take up with their mom’s fiancés. Somehow, I have to stop. The problem is that I don’t know if deep down in my heart, I want to.
8
Tanner
After the bridal shower, I threw myself into work. I buried myself in paperwork and endless meetings in order to get my mind off this conundrum because I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.
I thought I had it all figured out with Kylie. But our little episode at the bridal shower has me rethinking everything because I didn’t like her flippant attitude when she left. Normally, I can’t wait to get rid of girls I date and am grateful when they leave my bed. But Kylie left so easily, and it grates at my heart. Which can only mean that I want her to stay and cuddle?
But that’s ridiculous. That’s not who I am. She’s too different from the women I usually date. For one, she’s not my type, since she’s so damn young. Not to mention the fact that I’m engaged to be married to her mother. What a clusterfuck.
One of my assistants has sensed my distraction. Ryan took me aside the other day. He’s a nerdy guy in his twenties with glasses and a bad haircut.
“Uh, sir. I don’t know if this is my place, but I’m worried you might be … um, otherwise engaged.”
I raise an eyebrow.
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, you gave me the wrong files. I got the right ones, but this isn’t the first time this has happened. It happened yesterday and the day before that too.”
I felt like a total idiot. If I can’t get anything right at work, then I’m not worth a dime. My job is where I’ve always been killing it, and I need to get back on my shit.
But either way, I can barely think. My mind is a muddled mess, and my resolve strengthens: I’ve got to take care of this situation somehow.
Unfortunately, now I’m at a combined bachelor/bachelorette party in Vegas, and the vibe of this city isn’t helping. We landed this afternoon, and Veronica wanted to get started with the festivities as soon as possible. It’s flashing lights, hoards of tourists, and constant invitations to debauchery. How do people resist?
Now, we’re at a strip club, to make things worse. This one caters to everyone, with both male and female strippers. Which is nice for the people who want to be here, but the problem is that I don’t want to be here because strip clubs have never really interested me. I find them tacky and a little played out, but by contrast, my fiancée is living it up. Veronica made sure to get all the singles she would need before we got here. And now those dollar bills are being stuffed into waistbands, so she can touch the male strippers’ oiled-up bodies, while running her hands all over their muscles. It’s disgusting and downright embarrassing, if you ask me.
Obviously, my opinion of male strippers isn’t very high. I’ve always seen them as gigolos who don’t have anything more than two peanuts for a brain. Sure, there might be a smart one here or there, but to me, most of them are just hunks of meat gyrating on the dance floor for dollars.
But it looks like my fiancée’s going wild. She’s screaming and pawing at these poor guys, bouncing up and down in her seat. The men keep tight-lipped smiles on their faces, even as they move suggestively.
Alright, that’s enough. I take a small break and head over to the bar. I need a drink and I need one now. This whole atmosphere is like my own personal hell. The only reason Veronica gets away with putting me through so much shit is because of the important connections she brings to the relationship. Morose, I lean against the bar.
“A scotch, on the double and put it on the Logan tab.” I agreed to pay for all of this, not that that is what’s bothering me because I’m more than willing to give Veronica whatever she asks for, and she asks for a lot. But she always wants more. It was evident at the bridal shower. She invited half of New York, and I know she’s not friends with every single person there.
But if things make her happy, I can provide them, I guess. It’s part of my deal with the devil.
I get my scotch and down it in one gulp. It feels good, but not nearly enough to get my head out of this situation.
I look back at Veronica, and she’s pulled her tube top down. Her breasts jut out, and it looks disgusting. Unlike her daughter’s alabaster skin, Veronica’s boobs are overly-tanned and wrinkly-looking, like an orange that’s past its prime. One of the many male strippers leans down to suck on her nipple and she lets out a scream of delight.
I look away in disgust. I just have to keep reminding myself I’m doing this for a reason, although the reason seems to escape me with ever-increasing regularity.
Finally, I spot Kylie walking in. She didn’t come over with the rest of us, opting to stay in her hotel room a little longer.
Why? Who knows? Unfortunately, I had to come with the group because everything was booked using my name using my credit cards. I could have handed them over to my fiancée, but I don’t really trust Veronica. Once we’re married, I’ll get her things in her name but not a moment sooner.
Kylie’s entrance is quiet, and not many people see. But it’s worth waiting for because she’s utterly beautiful and pure, unlike her mother. Veronica is completely obsessed with being sexy. She wears revealing tops and short skirts, probably thinking the more skin she shows, the better.
But Kylie knows how to dress her body. She has on a sexy black dress, a garment that skims her plush curves perfectly. I’m sure she was trying to hide herself in it, but nothing can diminish her beauty. It actually does the total opposite, and merely highlights her gorgeous assets.
I stay by the bar and watch her, getting myself another scotch. This one I slowly sip.
Kylie is at the other end of the venue where there’s another bar area. She gets the bartender’s attention almost immediately.
Not a surprise. I noticed her the second she walked in, so it makes sense that the male population would do the same. She orders something and downs it in a gulp, making a face. But my girl soldiers on. She orders a second one, but this one, she nurses a bit.
Finally, with her drink in hand, she turns in my direction. Her eyes find mine, and the girl jolts a bit. We stare at one another silently, and can almost see the wheels turning in her head. Finally, she makes a decision and makes her way towards me, weaving through the crowd.
I finish my drink right before she reaches my side.
“Hey,” I greet in a casual tone even as my pulse races. “How’s it going? Enjoying yourself?”
She smiles wryly.
“Um yes, I guess so.” Kylie turns her head around and glances at her mother who’s still acting like a fool. Now Veronica is dancing on stage, her weird saggy boobs swinging left and right as she shrieks with delight. Kylie sighs.
“What’s with these joint bachelor / bachelorette parties? I don’t get it,” she says, averting her eyes from her mom. It’s easy to see she’s quite uncomfortable. It’s probably all the semi-naked people combined with Veronica’s antics.
“I’m not sure,” I respond truthfully. “It was your mom’s idea to do this.”
“Figures,” Kylie sighs, looking down at her drink.
“I would have preferred a traditional all-guys bachelor party,” I rumble. She giggles a little.
“Yeah, I think I would have too. What would you guys have done?”
“I don’t know,” I shrug. Since Veronica wanted this joint thing, I hadn’t really thought about it. “I guess something low-key. A night out drinking or hanging out on my yacht.”
Her eyes go wide.
“You have a yacht?” She sounds so surprised. It’s easy for me to forget that some of the amenities I’m used to in my life can come off as quite foreign to others.
“Yeah, I bought it a couple years ago.”
“Wow,” she says. But I can tell that she’s not really impressed. Things don’t do it for Kylie. This girl is the real deal, and fancy cars and toys aren’t going to rock her world.
She cuts her eyes to the ground and swallows before lifting her shoulders a bit before letting them drop. Does she have something to tell me? Whatever it is, I hope it’s not too heavy.
Kylie takes a deep breath.
“So, what’s going on?”
I look around. “We’re at the bachelor / bachelorette thing you just asked me about.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” She’s back to looking at me with searching eyes. I knew what she meant, but maybe I’m just being obstinate. “What’s going on with us?” she continues. “I mean we can’t keep doing this. We have to talk about,” she motions between us, “this.”
I’m well aware we can’t keep dancing around the issue. Or more like I can’t because Kylie’s serious now. I look straight into her eyes and tell her,
“I know, sweetheart. Trust me, I’ve been thinking about it too.”
I haven’t been skirting around her concerns because I don’t care. I just have no idea what to do. Basically, I want to have my cake and eat it too, but I’m not sure if that’s going to pan out in this situation. After all, I don’t think Kylie would be okay with us sleeping together while also continuing my relationship with her mother. What woman would be fine with that? I don’t blame her, but the problem is that I don’t see any obvious solutions.
“So what are you going to do about it?” she challenges above the din above the crowd.
“We’ll see,” I say nonchalantly. I’m looking around the club, wondering if anyone notices us. Likely not, given that most people are already drunk and partying hard.
“We’ll see?” she asks in a skeptical voice. “What does that mean?”
It’s clear to me that my answer is nowhere near enough, and I shrug.
“Kylie, listen –,” I begin. But she cuts me off.
“Don’t ‘Kylie’ me! You keep pushing off this conversation. I have all these things to say to you about being a jerk and how big of a troll you are, not to mention totally amoral. If you don’t want me to make a scene, you’ll give me more than a ‘we’ll see.’ What am I supposed to do with a ‘we’ll see?’”
I shrug.
“Exactly,” she gestures. “I can do a total of jack shit with all the ‘we’ll sees’ you’ve been giving me. Tanner,” her voice gets a lot more serious all of a sudden. “Do you understand what’s going on?”
“I do,” I say, arching an eyebrow at her. “Trust me, I get it.”
She looks into my eyes, that brown gaze searching.
“But do you really? Do you know what’s at stake for me? Veronica is my mother, and you are her fiancé. I don’t want to be caught in the middle of this because, at the end of the day, I don’t want to get hurt.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you.”
She huffs and crosses her arms over her generous chest.
“That’s not good enough, Tanner. That’s an empty promise.”
She’s mad and making to turn away from me, but I don’t want her to walk out of my life. How I got to this point, I don’t know, but the instinct to stop her is strong because Kylie has managed to get herself deep into my brain. It feels like insanity. I’ve never been so invested in a woman before, and yet, there could be no one more inappropriate.
Moving on impulse, I grab onto her arm, my big palm enclosing her small wrist. She looks back at me, eyes wide and questioning. I don’t say anything, instead pulling her close. Her hand goes to my chest, fingers digging into my shirt.
Before she can move away, I bring my mouth down on hers. The moment our lips touch, the noise from the club fades away, and it’s just me and Kylie. A surprised noise comes from her throat before she relaxes in my arms, and I slip my tongue between her lips. She’s plush, heavenly and so goddamn responsive. She mewls a bit into my mouth and I deepen the kiss.
But then her hands push me away, shoving against my broad chest. She wriggles out of my arms and puts some space between us.
“What are you doing?” she gasps with shock, eyes wide. It’s not surprising. I almost can’t believe I did this myself.
“I’m …,” I start, but trail off.
“People are going to see! We’re at your bachelor party. My mom is over there,” she points, “and you’re just, just –,” she gets all frustrated, her face going red.
“Kylie.”
“No! This is too much. I can’t get caught up in all of this again.”
That doesn’t bother me in the least.
“Let them see.”
She looks at me with confusion. Her head tilts, eyes going wide again.
“I don’t understand.”
I shrug, heaving my broad shoulders.
“Forget everyone else. Forget being afraid of getting caught. What do you want?”
“What do you mean, what do I want?”
I pin her with my blue gaze.
“Look, I know I’ve been a little insensitive with this whole thing, but things are what they are, and I don’t want you to run away.”
Oh shit. My feelings are starting to come out, and that’s not what I want. Quickly, I try to cover.
“Listen, if you’re worried about privacy, I’m going to go to the hallway at the back of the club. No one’s there. If you want to keep talking, meet me there in about ten minutes. No one will notice. These fools are too busy having fun,” I say, gesturing to the half-naked, gyrating people around us. Frankly, the disco ball and flashing lights are so distracting that I doubt anyone can even see.
“I don’t know,” she hedges, biting her lip. Kylie clearly doesn’t trust me and I don’t blame her as I’ve given her no reason to. That’s something I want to change.
“Just let me explain myself. Give me a chance. We’ll talk once we’re alone.”
She looks at me with caution.
“I –”
“Don’t say anything. Just meet me there, sweetheart. We can’t talk with all this going on around us,” I say, gesturing to the dance floor. “It’s insane to even try.”
She takes a deep breath and sighs.
“Okay. I’ll meet you there in five.”
I nod, exchanging one more meaningful look with my girl before turning away and making my way to the back. Navigating through the crowd, I pass Veronica. She’s still in her own world, obsessing over the male strippers while doing a series of glow-in-the-dark jello shots.
Good. My fiancée definitely won’t notice my absence, nor that of her daughter. Silently, I open a black door and let myself into the hallway. It’s sparsely lit and hidden away from the chaos of the club. Leaning against the wall, I wait for Kylie. She has a lot of power in her hands tonight, and to be frank, I gave it to her.
It’s not something I’m comfortable with, placing my faith in others. You learn quickly in business that having all the cards in your hand is the best-case scenario, and I like to operate under ideal circumstances.
These circumstances are far from ideal, obviously, but sometimes, you have to play the hand you’re dealt.
Each minute passing feels like twenty. Minutes seem to slow to hours. Where is she? Is she still coming? Maybe she’s had second thoughts and has already left the strip club. Maybe she wants nothing to do with me, not that I blame her. I’ve avoided really thinking about all of this because I knew there would be so many conflicting thoughts, and no clear plan to fix the situation. But now, what if she doesn’t show?
Suddenly, there’s a quiet rustle and a change in the air. It’s her. I can feel her presence even before seeing that lovely form. Heart racing, I hear her speak.
9
Tanner
“Hi, are you there?” her voice echoes in the darkness of the hallway.
I push myself off the wall and see Kylie standing a few feet away from me, unsure and shifting her weight from foot to foot. She looks delectable as always, and now that we’re alone I have a curious urge to stroke her brown curls. To press a kiss to her lips that’s chaste yet passionate, showing her how I feel.
“Hi, sweetheart, I’m
over here.”
She nods and minces towards me, straightening her shoulders. Once Kylie’s about two feet away, we fall into silence, staring at one another. The curvy girl wraps her arms around herself.
“What did you want to talk to me about that you couldn’t say out there?” she asks in a quiet voice.
“I wanted to tell you that …,” I pause.
Should I say this to her? Reveal that I’m just as lost as her?
Kylie smiles gently at me. It makes me come undone and my heart breaks open of its own accord.
“What is it Tanner?” she asks gently.
I take a deep breath.
“I wanted to tell you that I don’t know what I’m doing either. I don’t have the answers you are looking for. It’s the reason I haven’t said much whenever you ask me about what we should do. I just don’t know, sweetheart. This is a sticky situation and there aren’t any obvious answers.”
There, that should do it. It’s the truth of where I am, and where we are as a couple. But Kylie has a curious reaction.
“Oh,” is all she says. She looks straight at me, her expression blank. Maybe telling her all that was a mistake. “So, we’re kind of just here?”
“Yeah, sweetheart.”
This feels awkward.
“So, what do we do now?” Kylie asks, but then she shakes her head. “Sorry, I know you just told me we’re here but also nowhere.”
She turns her head away from me, her brow deeply furrowed. I might have just made this whole thing worse, and regret makes my heart curdle.
“I’m sorry,” I apologize. “I wish I knew, but there’s no playbook for what we’re doing,” I explain. “This kind of relationship isn’t exactly commonplace.”
“We both got ourselves in this mess,” Kylie says a little absentmindedly. Suddenly, there’s a grating noise and she looks alarmed. Quickly, she pulls me down the hall and into the next available door. We end up in the men’s room, evident from the urinals lining the wall.
