by Casey Hagen
“Yes, he lied. A lie by omission, but still a lie. And I don’t have to wonder why. The minute it all came to light, you went in judged him by the sins of his father. If there’s anyone who should know just how unfair that is, it’s you.”
I glanced up at her. “I didn’t judge him by his father’s sins. I just—I—”
“Then where is he, huh? Because if you’re not judging him by what his daddy did, you would have done something to make up with him by now. I know you, Mabel Lee. You’re doing just what all those church folk of yours did to you and your mama. It’s no wonder, but only you can put a stop to it.”
She’d gone to him the very next day after the Lulu’s incident and even that had seemed like an eternity. “I miss him,” she whispered.
“I know,” Aurora said with a gentle hand on her knee. “And I’m willing to bet he misses you, too.”
“He was so angry. You should have seen him. It’s like he disappeared right before my eyes.”
“Because he’s protecting himself from hurt. It’s no different than you hiding in here until you smell like day-old potato skins.”
Mabel Lee pulled the sleeve of her t-shirt to her nose and sniffed. “Oh, nasty.”
“Yeah, you’re giving the wreckage from that dumpster dive a run for its money. So, here’s what we’re going to do,” Aurora said, getting to her feet and grabbing the empty ice cream containers strewn about. “You’re going to get in the shower, and I’m going to neaten up here. The girls will be here in about twenty minutes with Chinese, and we’re going to drag you back to the land of the living.”
“What about Kellen?”
“You’re a big girl, Mabel Lee. I guess that’s up to you,” Aurora said, looking her dead in the eye.
Mabel Lee shuffled off to the bathroom leaving Aurora tearing through her apartment cleaning things up with one hand as she dialed her cell with the other.
Standing under the hot spray of the shower, Mabel Lee let the pelting beads scrub away the pain. At least the physical pain. Her heart, well, that would take a whole lot more than a steaming shower to fix.
She’d turned into the worst of the people who’d condemned her father for his mistake. Oh, she may not have said it to Kellen in so many words, but she’d made that spite and judgment clear with the way she’d looked at him. The way she’d immediately pulled away from him and stood with her mama.
She’d made it seem as though she had chosen a side. The side against him.
Only she hadn’t. She’d selfishly chosen her own side and made a huge mess of everything that bloomed between them.
He may not forgive her for how she’d reacted, but she needed to apologize. She needed to know that he wouldn’t walk through life carrying a chip she might as well have put on his shoulder with her careless reaction.
She needed to set him free if that’s what he wanted so this didn’t color the days of his life to come.
First, her best friend was getting married. Mabel Lee was a bridesmaid, and she owed it to them to make Aurora and Jeff’s wedding as drama free as possible.
But right after…
“Hey, Kellen,” Catalina called back to him after his set, “table eight paid for a private dance.
“Great,” he muttered, jerking his shirt over his head.
“Hey, don’t shoot the messenger,” she said. “What’s gotten into you anyway? Did you blow it with that sweet thing already?”
“I didn’t blow it,” he bit out. Only he did. He’d stuck a piece of C-4 in that son of a bitch and detonated it not long after, leaving nothing but dust.
“You blew it,” she said with a firm nod of her head.
“How did you know it was me? Maybe it was her. Did you ever consider that?”
So, he was a five-year-old now? Physically, a full-grown man, but with the mental maturity of a kindergartner.
“For about a second. Then I considered the odds of someone that sweet doing anything to hurt you and immediately discounted it.”
“Dammit. Fine. It was me. It was all me.” Okay, mostly him. Like ninety-nine point nine percent him. A percentage you could pin paternity on. Oh the irony.
“You want to talk about it?”
“Well, I would, but I have to go swing my package at table eight, now don’t I?” he said, heading toward the crowd.
“Hey, you might want to find a better attitude on the way,” she said, following after him.
His only answer was a quick flash of his middle finger high in the air.
Savage, get a fucking grip already.
He took a deep breath. Just one more hour and he could go home to a bottle of Jack and hope to erase what a shit he’d been. Or at least find a way to live with himself.
Even Rosie lit into him after he snarled at her and told him to keep his ass home until he could be civil. That was saying a lot with Rosie’s foul mouth. So, with her ramp half built, he’d stomped back home to get his drink on.
Stupid? Yes.
Childish? No doubt.
The only way he fell asleep at night since Sunday? Yup.
He glanced over to see what he was in for and skidded to a stop.
Blink.
Still there.
Blink. Blink.
Still there.
“What is it?” Catalina said as she caught up with him.
“Give them a refund.”
“Are you out of your mind?” she said grabbing his arm and hauling him around to face her. “What the hell do you want me to tell them?”
“I don’t care if you tell them I’ve got the shits. Just do it,” he said spinning away.
She jumped in front of him and aimed a lethal looking red nail right at his nose. “You know what. Fuck you and fuck that. Get your ass over there and work for the money, pretty boy. And if you want to give them a refund, you can damn well tell them yourself.” With a snap of her fingers so close to his face he felt the breeze, she stormed off.
When he turned back, Aurora’s eyes had landed on him. She gave him that determined look and crooked her finger.
Shit.
He wove through the chairs, women whistling as he went. But when he cleared another table, his jaw dropped at what he spotted.
Mabel Lee’s mama, her eyes on her drink and her fingers clutching her purse straps, but it sure as hell was Mabel Lee’s mama.
Maybe he’d died. Would God do that? Make him relive every horrible outcome of his greatest sin?
Probably.
“I’m sure you remember Mrs. Montgomery,” Aurora said, gesturing to the tense woman in the chair.
“Mrs. Montgomery,” he said with a nod.
“Now, you be the polite woman I know you to be and say hi to Kellen,” Aurora said, patting the woman’s hand.
“Hello,” she said, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye.
“It’s okay, Mrs. Montgomery. He has clothes on.” She glanced up at him. “You’ll have to forgive her; she’s never been in a place like this. It takes some getting used to.”
“What is she doing here now?” he asked.
“Well, why don’t I let you answer that, Mrs. Montgomery,” she said with a pointed look at the rigid woman.
Mabel Lee’s mama slapped her palm on the table. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done to my girl? Loved her and left—”
“Oooh, so close,” Aurora interrupted. “But maybe this time with a little less Cujo and a little more child of God, okay?” Aurora smiled. Kind of. It was more of a veiled threat than an actual, “hey, it’s good to see you” look. Like she might just take a hunk of flesh if either of them stepped out of line. Probably how she managed to get Mabel Lee’s mama to Big Shift in the first place.
Mrs. Montgomery’s shoulders slumped as though the burden had finally become too much. “She’s hurting,” Mrs. Montgomery choked out.
“I know,” he said, her words digging a jagged hole inside him. His blunt nails stabbed into his palms as he clenched his fists, but he welcomed the phys
ical pain. It gave him a distraction from the ache in his chest.
Mrs. Montgomery’s gaze snapped to his. “You talked to her?”
“I don’t need to, I know her heart,” he said.
“Well, I do too,” she snapped.
“No,” he said quietly. “You don’t.”
“Why, you—”
Well, he’d already fucked it sideways, he might as well go for broke. “I’m not saying that to be cruel. I’m saying it because it’s true. You’re mad that I lied to her, right?”
“That’s one of the reasons,” she admitted.
“Good. So, you’ll understand why I’m sticking to brutal honesty from here on out. You don’t know her heart because you’ve spent years trying to protect it from the shadow looming over your family. A shadow cast because of what my father did to you,” he said jamming a thumb into his chest. “The problem with protecting someone like that is sometimes, you lose sight of what you’re protecting.”
Her lips snapped shut, but she nodded.
Tired to the bone and from the burden of hurt threatening to crush him alive, he dropped into a lone chair next to their table, propped his elbows on his knees, and leaned toward her. “I’m mad that I lied to her, too. I had four perfect opportunities to tell her the truth once I found out. Four. And I’ll forever regret not taking a single one.”
“Then why didn’t you?” the woman asked, her shrewd gaze hot on him.
He swallowed the lump of pain just to have one more slide into his throat right behind it making it almost impossible to speak through the agony. “Because life is so much better seeing the world through her eyes.”
She blew out a rough breath, her eyes darting about as tears welled up. Finally, she spared him a glance as she began to dig through her purse. “Oh, that’s just—it’s just so,” she blubbered.
He took the red handkerchief from his back pocket that he’d had from his Springsteen bit earlier and handed it to her.
“Oh, thank you,” she said, blotting her damp skin. She reached out and patted his cheek. “That was just beautiful. You—you—” her hand scraped along the scruff and she narrowed her eyes as she examined his cheek, “you need a shave.”
Aurora leaned over and banged her forehead on the table.
Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.
“Dammit. You were so close,” Aurora said followed by a groan.
He put his hand over Mrs. Montgomery’s and winked at Aurora. He took his first deep breath since his world imploded leaving him lost and completely alone. “She’s right. I do need a shave.” He took her weathered hand and held it between his own. “I love her. And I want her back. Question is, if I can make it up to her, are you going to be one more obstacle, or are you going to support us?”
“I’d like to support you. I just—I don’t know how I feel about all of this,” she said, glancing around the club.
“It’s okay; we don’t have to agree. As long as Mabel Lee is okay with it, that’s all that matters. She knows it’s important to me.”
The woman shook her head, confusion written all over her face. “But why is it important?”
He took her curiosity over condemnation as a positive sign. “This second job takes care of someone I love very much. It also gave me the money to pay back every single person my father cheated, including Willette Baptist.”
“So it was you,” she breathed.
“It was me,” he said quietly.
“Mr. Johnson—well, he’s just lost his fool mind most of the time, so I didn’t really take his words to heart. My goodness, I don’t know what to say.”
Kellen glanced at Aurora and winked.
“Say you’ll be my date for Aurora and Jeff’s wedding on Saturday.”
Aurora’s jaw dropped and then spread into a wide smile. “Oh, you are good. That’s brilliant!”
“So, you don’t mind my using your wedding as a shameless attempt at winning back my girl?” he asked.
“I think I’d be honored to be a part of that,” Mrs. Montgomery said.
He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her knuckles. “Good. How about I pick you up at three?”
She stared down at her hand, her eyes full of wonder. “Three would be just fine.”
With plans in place, he had mercy on Mrs. Montgomery’s soul and walked them to their car. After getting Mrs. Montgomery settled, he made his way to Aurora. “Tell me the truth, how bad is it?”
“Kellen—”
“Just tell me.”
Her hands flexed on her purse strap and she grimaced glancing toward the car. “I watched Mabel Lee bury her father. That was easier than this.”
Her words knocked the air from his lungs, making his chest ache once more. “Thank you.”
“I’ll see you Saturday,” she said as she opened the door. “And Kellen?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t fuck it up again. You hear me? Or Viper really will be a legend and the women who coveted him at Big Shift will be paying admission to see his dick floating in a jar of formaldehyde like a goddamned medical museum display,” she warned.
Never again.
18
Mabel Lee drummed her fingernails on the reception table reserved for the wedding party as people mingled on the dance floor, waiting for the bride and groom to make their first appearance as man and wife.
Flowers filled the reception hall in sprays of magenta, petal pink, and cream. They hung in clusters cascading down from crystal holders, creating an oasis that brought to life the idea of fairies and magic from childhood fairy tales.
Two more hours.
And what? She’d run to Big Shift and wait for him to dance, hoping he’d speak to her after the way she’d treated him?
Not likely.
It would take a heck of a lot more than him taking the seat next to her to start idle chitchat like he had last time. He’d had mercy on her then. But now? Mercy was the last thing that sprung to mind when she envisioned those hard eyes.
“How are you holding up, honey?” Cassidy said, taking the seat next to her and handing her a flute of champagne.
She watched the golden bubbles dance through the glass, fizzing and popping as they went. “Does it make me a horrible friend that I just want to get out of here and go find him?”
“Not at all; it makes you human.” Cassidy wrapped her arm around her. “I’m proud of you, Mabel Lee. You really held it together for the wedding.”
“She was stunning, wasn’t she?” she said, propping her hand on her chin.
Cassidy nodded. “Absolutely.”
“I’m going to miss her,” she said.
“Why?” Cassidy sputtered around a sip of champagne. “She’s not going anywhere.”
“No, but you’re all coupled. And if Kellen won’t forgive me, I don’t know if I can bring myself to love anyone else. And if I do, it’s going to be a long, long time.”
Guilt and pain gnawed at her from the inside out. The pit of her stomach had become a wasteland of sorrow, swallowed tears, and ice cream. Her mama would be horrified if she realized how much makeup and magic it took to hide her swollen skin, puffy eyes, and soul sucking anguish.
“Something tells me you don’t have anything to worry about,” Cassidy said, nodding toward the double doors with a smile on her face.
Mabel Lee’s heart climbed into her throat as she spun on her seat to see what had Cassidy smiling.
She didn’t dare hope.
Layla and Hunter twirled, Layla’s head thrown back in laughter as Hunter danced her in a full circle.
Great.
One more look at what she could have had, had she not been an idiot.
Hunter twirled Layla away, the skirt of her dress flowing around her, revealing her mama as she smiled up at a tall, strong man in a black suit.
She snapped up straight and studied the set of his shoulders, the curve of his ears…
It couldn’t be.
She had to be seeing things because despite wish
ing this ended like some romance on the big screen, there’s no way her mama would be part of the final scene.
Her heart that was so desperate for a glimpse of him, to know he was okay, finally fell apart and she’d lost what was left of her pickled mind and started picturing him in every man of the same height, the same hair color.
He held out his elbow to her mama and turned.
Mabel Lee sucked in a breath.
The same face.
Kellen.
“Girl, you can’t play it cool with your mouth hanging open like that,” Cassidy said, nudging her chin back where it belonged.
“Am I seeing things?”
“Just a modern-day miracle. I would say this might just be proof of your god, Mabel Lee. Looks like you don’t have to count the minutes until this reception ends after all.”
Kellen gave her a tentative smile, the dark shadows under his tired eyes telling her just how hard this had all been on him. She so desperately wanted to kiss away the pain etched there.
If he’d let her.
“Mabel Lee,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.
“Kellen,” she whispered, her stomach pitching with barely banked anxiety rioting through her.
He glanced down at her mama who still held his arm. “Your mama says that you haven’t been talking to her.”
“It hasn’t been my best week,” she said quietly drinking in every last bit of him.
“Maybe we can fix that,” he said. “Cassidy, why don’t we give these two a chance to chat, and you can help me find a beer.”
Cassidy worked her way out from behind the table and took his arm. “You got it, handsome. Ladies, we’ll return…eventually.”
Mabel Lee watched them walk away before joining her mama and turning her back. Seeing how easy it was for him to see her had her heart pinching with the sting of regret. “Mama, what are you doing here with him?”
“Why, honey, Aurora and I hunted him down at the Big Shift,” she said with a smile and a loving glance in his direction.
Maybe she was having a stroke?
An aneurism?
Or maybe she was stuck in some weird, twenty-first century version of the Wizard of Oz, and if she clicked her heels three times, everything that had toppled upside down would right itself, since she was already home and all.
