Blue was nothing like Mère, but that voice…and no one but Henry knew her real name.
It had to be her. Brenda curled into a ball and buried her face in Henry’s chest.
“It’s okay. It will be okay. I’ll make it okay,” he said fiercely.
“You can’t. It will never be okay. She…left me. I don’t know why. She didn’t love me enough to stay, and I don’t know why she’s here.”
“Are you sure it’s her?”
“She called me Dilly. She—she used to sing that song to me when I was young.” An ache ground from her throat. “How could she do it? Why would she leave me all alone? She said she loved me, but she didn’t. She couldn’t have, not if she could just walk away and let me think she was dead all these years.” She gripped his shirt in her fist. “Why, Henry? Why would she do that to me? What did I do wrong?”
But Henry didn’t have any answers either. Instead he rocked her in his arms and held her close.
“Don’t let go,” she pleaded. “Please don’t let go.”
“Never,” he vowed, his voice a growl. “I’m here, and I’m never leaving you to be alone.”
She shuddered with her gratitude and her fear. He could say that, but he could go. Anyone could go. She’d thought she’d found safety, but…she would never be safe.
“I don’t want her here. I don’t want to talk to her. I hate her for how she hurt me.”
“I do, too,” Henry said roughly. “But I love you, and I’ll never leave you. You’re safe now.”
She curled into his embrace again and let the warmth of his body defrost her frozen soul.
I don’t want her here. I don’t want to talk to her. I hate her for how she hurt me.
Blue stood frozen several yards away, watching her child ravaged by the hurt Blue had dealt. Not because she’d meant to, but because she’d been weak and flawed. She’d been a terrible mother, no matter how desperately she’d loved Dilly.
And she had. She’d loved Dilly as she’d never loved another soul. As no one but Dilly had ever loved her.
And now her brokenness had come home to roost. In seeking to find her child and be sure she was safe, she’d hurt her again.
She said she loved me, but she didn’t.
Blue felt Dilly’s anguish like a physical blow, a dagger’s stab straight to the heart. She had to grab the tree trunk beside her to stay on her feet.
What she wanted to do was fall to the ground. To crawl to Dilly and beg to explain.
Except there was no good explanation. She hadn’t left Dilly because she was doing something noble or for Dilly’s greater good, however often she’d told herself Dilly had wound up with someone better suited to mother that sweet, harmless child.
Instead Dilly hadn’t been claimed, except by a system that failed her. As her own mother had failed her.
I love you, and I’ll never leave you.
Oh, thank God for Henry Jansen. He was shy and quiet, but she sensed the steel in him, the spine that strengthened his big heart. He did love her daughter, and after watching them for the last few weeks, she believed he would indeed stay with her. His love would heal what Blue had destroyed.
The best thing she could do for her daughter was to go. She didn’t deserve Dilly’s forgiveness. She never would, no matter what.
She was sick at heart that explaining her behavior would only show her child how very flawed Blue was, how undeserving of her love.
She would explain, however, because she thought at least knowing that she hadn’t left on purpose might help one day. Maybe seeing that Blue was trying to make herself into the person who deserved a child like Dilly would help, too, but she would never know that because she wouldn’t be here.
She backed away quietly and headed for her car. She would go now and pack, and she would leave Dilly all that was left of the ten thousand dollars, which was nearly every penny, in hopes that Dilly could use that for her flower shop or to buy into the flower farm.
Dilly was safe here now, surrounded by people who loved her. She had the love of a good man who, if young, was more than grown enough to care for her daughter as she deserved.
She was happy here—or had been, until Blue had yielded to selfishness and come into her life.
Blue would go again, but she wouldn’t disappear without a word this time. She would leave Kitty’s information so that if someday Dilly wanted to get in touch, she could.
Not that she expected her to want that, ever.
But Blue couldn’t seem to quit hoping, however aware she was that she couldn’t make this right. Not in a million years. The best she could do was to leave her child in the hands of all these good people and that fine young man back there. Who loved Dil—Brenda so.
Her life might be empty from now on, and she might have no idea where to go or what to do with herself.
But she did know one thing.
The best day of Dilly’s life had been the day she’d arrived in Sweetgrass Springs.
Take care of her, she said silently as she passed Ruby’s later, after packing up her meager belongings and leaving the money, her notebook of memories and a note.
As she drove out of town, she glanced in her rearview mirror again and again.
Until Sweetgrass was completely out of sight.
Chapter Eleven
As they sat on the ground, Henry continued to rock her long after she’d fallen silent, then slipped into an exhausted slumber.
How could life be so cruel, forcing someone with such a sweet heart to live in fear for so long? To be so alone at a time when she desperately needed family?
Yet he could recall the stricken look on Blue’s face, the tearstained cheeks as she watched her daughter with such hunger. Blue, too, had been alone, he thought. Lonely as her daughter had been. What could possibly have kept Blue from her child? Part of him wanted to stalk her down and demand the truth.
But a larger part needed to be here, protecting the girl he…loved. Okay, yes. Her age couldn’t change the fact that, sensible or not, he loved her. In truth, she wasn’t too young. In years, maybe, but in life experience? She’d suffered greatly and known harder times than someone twice her age.
He was done refusing her. They wouldn’t rush into anything—heaven knew she deserved a chance to see what she wanted out of life—but she would do so knowing that someone loved her to his marrow. With every breath, every beat of his heart, he would cherish her and protect her, and when the time was right—and he wouldn’t assume he was the best judge of that anymore—he would marry her. They would settle in Sweetgrass, if she still wanted that, and they would have babies and build a life together.
Despite the sorrow he felt for her grief, a part of him was beaming, seeing his future spread out for him in details he’d never imagined. With a clarity that resonated to his soul.
He held her a little closer and pressed a kiss to her hair. “I love you,” he whispered.
She stirred a little. He waited to see if she’d wake, so he could tell her again—
Suddenly a cry went up from the crowd they’d left behind. Agitated voices, and the sound of engines firing up and rumbling—
A form appeared through the trees. Mackey, his gaze scanning until he located them.
Henry put a finger to his lips.
Mackey nodded. You two okay? he mouthed.
She will be, Henry mouthed back. He nodded toward the noise. What’s happening?
“Veronica’s gone into labor,” Mackey said softly. “Wiz is freaking. He’s got a plane picking up Molly, and he’s barking out orders like my old drill sergeant.” Mackey grinned. “Total new dad freakout.”
Henry smiled back. “Need me to do anything?” he said as quietly as possible.
But Brenda stirred. Her eyes popped open, and her expression when she looked at him…
A man could draw a hell of a lot of hope.
“What is it?” Her face fell as she remembered what had happened. “Where is Blue?”
“Sh
e left,” Mackey answered. “She drove off really fast. What happened? You okay, Brenda?”
She smiled sadly and leaned into Henry. “I will be. It’s…a long story. What’s going on?”
“Veronica’s gone into labor. As you can imagine, Jackson has gone all mental on us, despite the fact that I’m pretty sure the D-Day invasion never had more advance planning than he’s put into keeping her safe.”
She sat up, and Henry regretted the loss of her against him. “What can we do?”
We. He’d take comfort from that.
“Hell if I know. Wiz probably has a list somewhere.” His gaze sharpened. “I’d like to hear the long story if you want to tell it. Babies don’t come very fast, you know.”
When she didn’t answer, Henry did so for her. “Maybe we should wait—”
“Blue is my mother,” Brenda interrupted.
You seldom saw Mackey flustered, but his jaw fell open. “Your…mother? I thought you didn’t have one.”
“I did, too. She disappeared when I was eight. I have no idea where she’s been.”
“So she—” Mackey whistled. “Man, that’s…wow. You didn’t know who she was?”
“Not until today.”
“How are you feeling?”
Brenda sighed. “Mad. Hurt. Sad…do you know where she is?”
“Nope. She just…left.”
Henry had never seen Brenda’s face look hard, but it did now. “I don’t care.” Then her face crumpled and tears fell again. “I don’t want to care, but why did she hide it?”
“You couldn’t tell it was her?”
“She looks nothing like the woman I knew. My mother was beautiful, all curves and long blonde curls…she made people stop in the street to stare at her.”
“So she looked like you, huh?” Mackey settled on his haunches.
“I’m not beautiful.”
“Of course you are,” Henry declared.
She turned confused blue eyes to his. “Really? You think I’m beautiful?”
He damned his ears, which felt hot again. “I always have.”
Their eyes remained locked on one another.
“Well, I think I’ll just mosey on,” Mackey said, rising.
Henry vaguely heard him leave when neither of them responded.
Then he lowered his head and kissed her. “I love you.”
She caught her breath. “You do?”
“Of course I do. I have, for something like forever. I just thought—”
Her mouth quirked. “That I was too young?”
He shrugged. “Something like that.”
“You’ve changed your mind?”
“I’m still not going to limit your choices. You should be free to go in any direction you want, to try anything you want, without being hampered.”
She clasped her small hands around his jaws, her eyes glistening. “Love doesn’t hamper. Love makes you strong. You make me strong, Henry.”
“You already were. Most people wouldn’t be able to handle all you’ve had to survive, yet here you are, still so kind and sweet, so full of love.”
“I love you, too, you know. And I don’t want time. I want you.”
“You’re too young to get married. I won’t tie you down like that.”
“If you use the words too young in any sentence referring to me ever again, I swear I am going to stand in front of the courthouse and scream for hours.”
He laughed. “That might be a little drastic, don’t you think?”
“Not if it would get it through your stupid head—”
“Tsk, tsk. You shouldn’t call the man you love stupid.”
“If he is, then…” But she smiled, a real smile, a sweet Brenda smile.
“So what do I call you, Brenda or Dilly?”
“Brenda,” she said instantly. “I’m going to get my name changed. Dilly was my old life.” Then she sighed, and he had to guess she was remembering.
“You need to talk to Blue. Give her a chance to explain.”
Brenda seldom looked mulish, but she did now. “I don’t want to.”
He picked up her hands and kissed her knuckles. “But you’re a fair person, and I’m betting you will.”
“I’m not forgiving her. Not for leaving me and not for coming back and lying about who she is.”
“Okay, hard case. We’ll see if you can keep up that hard edge. Me, I’m doubtful.”
As she was about to retort, he rose and lifted her up. “Now let’s go see if we can help out Jackson. Besides, I didn’t get a cupcake.”
“Oh!” she exclaimed. “And that beautiful cake you made me!”
“We’ll be lucky if there’s one crumb of either. That bunch can plow through some food.”
She smiled, but her heart wasn’t really in it, he could tell.
He tucked her under his arm. “When you feel sad about Blue, just remember that all these people love you. That you don’t need to look for a home anymore because you’ve already found yours.”
She nestled against him and lifted her face to his, lips trembling and eyes glistening as she tried to smile. She didn’t say anything, but she slipped her arms around his waist and leaned into him.
He pulled her into him and just…held on.
Hours later, just as Molly’s plane landed, Dr. Jake and Bridger successfully delivered a set of twins, a boy and a girl, which Abby and Beth proclaimed was just exactly right. They were small but fully-formed and breathing just fine. Dr. Jake proclaimed that they’d need close monitoring for a day or so, but he saw no problems. When Molly made it to town, she agreed completely.
Jackson sat beside Veronica in the bed of the RV he’d outfitted to be a mobile hospital, looking dazed at his good fortune. He held one twin in his arms, while Veronica held the other. When it was Brenda’s turn to come see them, she couldn’t help sighing inwardly as Jackson kissed Veronica about every other second, while around them, Ben and the other twins clustered.
“What a beautiful family,” she said. “They have yours and Penny’s black hair and blue eyes.”
“I’m hoping they’ll keep that Caribbean blue I love so much,” Veronica said. “We’re naming them Cameron Calhoun after Dr. Jake and Bridger, and Penelope Clarissa, after their aunts.” Then she looked up. “Brenda, how can I ever thank you for all you’ve done?”
Jackson couldn’t stop looking at his twins and Veronica, but finally he focused on her. “I know exactly how. We’re giving you an ownership position in the flower farm—you agree, Vee?”
She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“Oh, I couldn’t—”
“You don’t have any choice, young lady. Unless you don’t want it.”
She spread one hand on her chest. Not want it? She was over the moon at the idea. “But—”
“No buts either,” Veronica said. “You have more than earned it. Please accept. I’d really like to have you for my partner.”
“Really?”
“Absolutely.”
Brenda subsided. “I can’t leave Ruby, not yet.”
“I’m going to throw some resources at that,” Jackson responded. “You’re a wonderful waitress, but that’s not what you love doing, is it?”
She shook her head.
“Then don’t give it another moment’s thought. I’ve got someone working on the problem, as we speak.”
She was overwhelmed.
Then Veronica’s gaze softened. “How are you doing? Is it true about Blue?”
Brenda shrugged. “Would it—is it okay if we don’t talk about that right now?”
“You better believe it. But if you need us to do anything or need legal help or—”
Legal help? She was upset, but—“No. I’m fine. It will all work out,” she said with more conviction than she felt. Then she noted that Veronica was tiring. “I’ll leave now. Want me to take the girls with me?”
“No, we’d like to be together as a family for a while. Do you mi
nd telling the others?”
“Absolutely not.” Her heart ached at the beauty of their family and all the love swirling in that space.
But as she remembered Henry telling her he loved her, the ache eased.
She wasn’t alone now.
And she was about to be a business owner.
Whatever happened with Blue, life was looking pretty sunny.
She didn’t need a mother anymore.
When at last everyone went home and Jackson had the RV driven over to their house, Brenda and Henry finally returned to town. “What a day,” she said, leaning on the truck window.
“Yeah. Understatement.” Then he grinned. “Awesome cupcakes, by the way.”
She smiled. “Your cake was beautiful and delicious. Ruby saved me a daffodil. I’m keeping it.”
He looked pleased.
As they drove, both were silent, but it was a comfortable silence. As they neared town, however, she began to tense up. Though she wanted to avoid the confrontation, she knew she’d never rest until she and Blue had it out. “Would you drive by where Blue is staying, please?”
“You sure you want to?”
“Sort of. Not really, but…I don’t want to wait either.”
He detoured by the house, but it was dark with no car in the drive. It didn’t look inhabited at all. Had a lonely feeling.
“You think she’s left town?”
“Maybe.”
So she would never know. She’d have to be all right with that.
But why, Mère? Why torture me? Why come here at all?
They drove on back to Ruby’s house. When they went inside, Ruby greeted them. “How are you doing, sweetie?” She enfolded Brenda in a hug.
“I’ll be okay.”
“We’ll make sure of it.”
Brenda didn’t want to discuss Blue, yet Ruby had opened this world to her, taken her in, given her a job. Always been there for her. She deserved the truth. “Do you know about Blue?”
“What about her? I noticed that she’d left the party, but I haven’t seen her.”
Brenda glanced at Henry, who nodded and squeezed her hand.
“Blue is…my mother.”
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