Chapter VII
In which Mr Vanslyperken goes on shore to woo the Widow Vandersloosh.
Three weeks of comparative calm now passed away, during which MrVanslyperken recovered of his wounds and accident, and meditated how heshould make away with Smallbones. The latter also recovered of hisbites, and meditated how he should make away with Snarleyyow. Smallboneshad returned to his avocations, and Vanslyperken, intending mischief,treated him more kindly, as a blind. Snarleyyow also, not forgetting hisdefeat on the quarter-deck, did not renew his attacks, even when thepoor lad helped himself to biscuit.
The _Yungfrau_ anchored in the Downs, and Mr Vanslyperken receiveddespatches for the Hague; King William having written some letters tohis friends, and sent over to them a little English money, which he knewwould be acceptable; for continental kings on the English throne havenever appeared to have a clear sense of the honour conferred upon them.England, in their ideas, has always been a _parvenue_ kingdom; hernobles not able to trace farther back than the Conquest; while, in theircountry, the lowest baron will prove his sixteen quarters, and hisdescent from the darkest ages. But, nevertheless, upon the sameprinciple that the poor aristocracy will condescend to unite themselvesoccasionally to city wealth, so have these potentates condescended toreign over us.
Mr Vanslyperken received his despatches, and made the best of his way toAmsterdam, where he anchored, delivered his credentials, and therewaited for the letters of thanks from his Majesty's cousins.
But what a hurry and bustle there appears to be on board of the_Yungfrau_--Smallbones here, Smallbones there--Corporal Van Spitterpushing to and fro with the dog-trot of an elephant; and even Snarleyyowappears to be unusually often up and down the hatchway. What can it allbe about? Oh! Mr Vanslyperken is going on shore to pay his respects, andcontinue his addresses, to the widow Vandersloosh. His boat is mannedalongside, and he now appears on the cutter's quarter-deck.
Is it possible that this can be Mr Vanslyperken? Heavens, how gay! Anuniform certainly does wonders with some people: that is to say, thosewho do not look well in plain clothes are invariably improved by it;while those, who look most like gentlemen in plain clothes, lose in thesame proportion. At all events Mr Vanslyperken is wonderfully improved.
He has a loose pair of blue pantaloons, with boots rising above hisknees pulled over them: his lower parts remind you of Charles theTwelfth. He has a long scarlet waiscoat, with large gilt buttons andflap pockets, and his uniform coat over all, of blue turned up with red,has a very commanding appearance. To a broad black belt over hisshoulder hangs his cutlass, the sheath of which is mounted with silver,and the hilt of ivory and gold threads; and, above all, his small headis almost dignified by being surmounted with a three-cornered turned-upand gold-banded cocked hat, with one corner of the triangle in frontparallel with his sharp nose. Surely the widow must strike her coloursto scarlet, and blue, and gold. But although women are said, likemackerel, to take such baits, still widows are not fond of a man who isas thin as a herring: they are too knowing, they prefer stamina, andwill not be persuaded to take the shadow for the substance.
Mr Vanslyperken was, nevertheless, very well pleased with himself, whichwas something, but still not quite enough on the present occasion, andhe strutted the deck with great complacency, gave his final orders toDick Short, who, as usual, gave a short answer; also to Corporal VanSpitter, who, as usual, received them with all military honour; and,lastly, to Smallbones, who received them with all humility. Thelieutenant was about to step into the boat, when a doubt arose, and hestopped in his advance, perplexed. It was one of no smallimportance--was Snarleyyow to accompany him or not? That was the knottyquestion, and it really was a case which required some deliberation. Ifhe left him on board after the conspiracy which had been formed againsthim, the dog would probably be overboard before he returned; that is, ifSmallbones were also left on board; for Mr Vanslyperken knew that it hadbeen decided that Smallbones alone could and should destroy the dog. Hecould not, therefore, leave the dog on board with safety; and, as fortaking him on shore with him, in that there was much danger, for thewidow Vandersloosh had set her face against the dog. No wonder: he hadbehaved in her parlour as bad as the dog Crab in the Two Gentlemen ofVerona; and the Frau was a very clean person, and had no fancy for dogscomparing their legs with those of her polished mahogany chairs andtables. If Mr Vanslyperken's suit was to be decided according to the oldadage, "love me, love my dog," he certainly had but a poor chance; forthe widow detested the cur, and had insisted that it should never bebrought into her house. Take the dog on shore, therefore, he could not;but, thought Mr Vanslyperken, I can take Smallbones on shore, that willdo as well. I have some biscuit to dispose of, and he shall go with itand wait till I come off again. Smallbones was, therefore, ordered toput on his hat and step into the boat with two half bags of biscuit tocarry up to the widow's house, for she did a little business with MrVanslyperken, as well as allowing him to make love to her; and was neverso sweet or so gracious, as when closing a bargain. So Mr Vanslyperkenwaited for Smallbones, who was soon ready, for his best consisted onlyin a pair of shoes to his usually naked feet, and a hat for hisgenerally uncovered head. And Mr Vanslyperken, and Smallbones, and thebiscuit, were in the boat, when Snarleyyow intimated his intention tojoin the party; but this was refused, and the boat shoved offwithout him.
As soon as Mr Vanslyperken had shoved off, Dick Short, being in command,thought he might as well give himself leave, and go on shore also. So hewent down, put on his best, and ordered the other boat to be manned, andleaving Obadiah Coble on board as the next officer, he took with himJansen, Jemmy Ducks, and four or five others, to have a cruise. Now, asSnarleyyow had this time made up his mind that he would go on shore, andShort was willing to indulge him, for he knew that Smallbones, if hefell in with him, would do his best to launch him into one of thecanals, so convenient in every street, the cur was permitted to get intothe boat, and was landed with the rest of the party, who, as usual,repaired to the Lust Haus of the widow Vandersloosh; where we must leavethem for the present, and return to our friend, Mr Vanslyperken.
Snarleyyow, or, the Dog Fiend Page 8
