by J. Lynn
Cam was still here and last night he’d said that he wanted me, that we would be together, even after he knew what I had done to myself and after I’d been a total bitch to him.
I almost couldn’t believe it. Maybe I was dreaming, because I didn’t feel like I deserved this.
Placing my hand on his chest, I felt his heart beat steady and strong under my palm. His skin was bare, warm, and real. I needed to see his face to fully believe that this was happening. I shifted in his lap.
Cam groaned a deep, rich sound.
Eyes going wide, I stilled. Holy moley, I could feel his arousal against my hip. His arms tightened around my waist and I felt his heart kick around the same time mine did.
“Sorry,” he said, his voice thick and gruff. “It’s morning and you’re sitting on me. That’s a combination meant to bring any man down.”
Warmth swamped my cheeks, but heat raced through my veins and I was reminded of how he felt when he had rocked against me before. Not the best thought to be having right now. His grip on my waist loosened and his hand dropped to my hip. Through the thin shirt—his shirt—my skin tingled.
Okay. Maybe it was the perfect thought to be having right now.
“Do you want me to get off you?” I asked.
“Hell no.” His other hand traveled up my back, his fingers tangling in the ends of my hair. “Absolutely fucking not.”
My lips cracked a grin. “Okay.”
“Finally, I think we’re actually agreeing on something.”
I leaned back a little, so I could see him. Disheveled from sleep and with the faint trace of stubble on his jaw, he looked absolutely stunning. “Did last night really happen?”
One side of his lips tipped up, and my chest swelled. I’d missed that smile. “Depends on what you think happened.”
“I took my shirt off for you?”
His eyes deepened. “Yes. Lovely moment.”
“And you turned me down?”
The hand on my hip slid lower. “Only because our first time together isn’t going to be when you’re drunk.”
“Our first time together?”
“Uh-huh.”
Muscles in my stomach tightened. “You’re really confident about there being a first between us.”
“I am.” He tipped back against the cushion.
I needed to focus. “We talked, right?” My gaze fell to my bare left wrist. “I told you when I did this?”
“Yes.”
I peeked at him. “And you don’t think I’m a raving bitch?”
“Well…”
Cocking my head to the side, I pinned him with a look.
Cam’s grin spread as his hand slid further up my back, reaching the nape of my neck. “You want to know what I think?”
“Depends.”
He guided my head down so that our mouths were inches apart. “I think we need to talk.”
“We do.” I agreed even though it made me nervous, of course, but resolve replaced my apprehension.
Cam suddenly gripped my hips and lifted me off him, placing me on the couch beside him. I missed his warmth immediately. Confusion rose as he stood. “I thought we needed to talk,” I said.
“We do. I’ll be right back.”
I had no clue what he was up to.
“Just stay there, okay?” he said, backing toward the door. “Don’t move from that spot. Don’t think about anything. Just sit there and I’ll be right back.”
I watched him curiously. “Okay.”
A lopsided grin appeared. “I mean it, don’t think about anything. Not the last couple of minutes or last night. Not the last month. Or what’s coming next. Just sit there.”
“Alright,” I whispered. “I promise.”
His eyes met mine for a second longer, and then he left, and of course I thought about everything in those five minutes he was gone. By the time he returned, I’d almost been convinced that he wasn’t coming back.
Except he did.
I twisted around, peering over the back of the couch and once I saw what he had in his hands, I smiled widely. “Eggs—you brought eggs.”
“And my skillet.” He nudged the door shut with his hip. “And I brushed my teeth.”
“You didn’t put a shirt on.”
He cast me a look as he headed into my kitchen. “I know it would break your heart not to be able to see me shirtless.”
As he disappeared through the door, I dropped my head to the back of the couch and let out a girlie sound that I hoped was muffled.
“Avery, what in the hell are you doing?”
I lifted my head. “Nothing.”
“Then get your ass in here.”
Grinning, I scampered off the couch and started toward my bedroom.
“And don’t you dare change.”
I stopped, making a face.
“Because I really like seeing you in my clothes,” he added.
“Well, when you put it like that…” I turned around and made my way back to the kitchen. Lingering in the doorway, I watched him do something I seen him do at least a dozen times.
He looked over his shoulder at me. “What? You missed my eggs that badly?”
I blinked my misty eyes clear. “I didn’t think I’d have you in my kitchen making eggs again.”
The thick bands of muscle across his shoulders flexed, and I couldn’t help but admire the sensual valley. They curved deep into his skin as he leaned forward, adjusting the controls on the stove. “You missed me that much?”
For once I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
Cam faced me. “I’ve missed you.”
I took a deep breath. “I want to say I’m sorry for how I acted when you… well, when you saw my scar. I’ve never let anyone see it.” I sucked my lower lip in and took a step forward. “I know that’s not an excuse, because I was a terrible bitch, but…”
“I’ll accept your apology on one condition.” He folded his arms across his chest.
“Anything?”
“You trust me.”
I cocked my head to the side. “I trust you, Cam.”
“No, you don’t.” He walked over to my small table and pulled out a chair. “Have a seat.”
Sitting down, I tugged the hem of his shirt down as he headed back to the stove, putting the tiny skillet over the burner.
“If you trusted me, you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did,” he simply said, cracking an egg. “And that’s not me judging you or any of that kind of shit. You got to trust me that I’m not going to be an ass or freak out over that kind of stuff. You have to trust that I care enough about you.”
My breath stalled.
He turned, his eyes as clear as glass. “There’s a lot I don’t know about you and I hope we fix that. I’m not going to push you, but you can’t shut me out. Okay. You have to trust me.”
There were a lot of things he didn’t know, but I didn’t want those things to interfere. Not now. Not ever. “I trust you. I will trust you.”
Cam met my gaze. “I accept your apology.”
Then he turned back to the stove, scrambling my eggs. Next came the OJ. We really didn’t say anything until he sat down with his four boiled eggs. “So where do we go from here?” he asked. “Tell me what you want.”
I stopped, my fork full of egg. My gaze flicked up and he was holding one of the eggs. “What I want?”
“From me.” He bit into the egg, chewing slowly. “What do you want from me?”
Placing my fork down, I sat back and stared at him. It suddenly occurred to me that he was going to make me say it and… and I needed to say it. I thought about Molly and what she had to say a hundred times. This was easy compared to that. “You.”
“Me?”
“I want you.” My cheeks were burning but I pressed forward. “Obviously, I’ve never been in a relationship and I don’t even know if that’s what you want. Maybe it’s not—”
“It is.” He finished off the egg.
My chest tightened. �
�It is?”
He chuckled. “You sound so surprised, like you can’t believe it.” He picked up another egg. “It’s really kind of adorable. Please continue.”
“Please continue…?” I shook my head, flustered. “I want to be with you.”
Cam finished off the second egg. “That’s the second thing we’re in agreement on this morning.”
“You want to be with me?”
“I’ve wanted to be with you since the first time you turned me down. I’ve just been waiting for you to come around.” His lips curved up. “So, if we’re going to do this, there are some ground rules.”
He’d been waiting for me? “Rules?”
He nodded as he peeled the third egg. “There’s not that many. No shutting me out. It’s just you and me and no one else.” He paused, and my heart was jumping. “And finally, you keep looking damn sexy in my shirts.”
A laugh burst from me. “I think all of them are doable.”
“Good.”
I watched him finish off his eggs and as happy as I was, the nerves got the best of me. “I’ve never done of any of this before, Cam. And I’m not easy to get along with all the time. I know that. I can’t promise this will be easy for you.”
“Nothing fun in life is easy.” He emptied his glass of milk and then stood, coming to my side. He took my hand and pulled me to my feet. His arms went around my waist as he tilted his head down and when he spoke, his lips brushed my cheek. “I’m serious about you, Avery. If you want me for real, you have me.”
Closing my eyes, I placed my hands on his chest. “I want you for real.”
“Good to know,” he murmured, tilting his head to the side and his lips grazed mine. Anticipation swelled like a bubble. “Because if not, this would get a whole lot awkward.”
I started to laugh, but then his mouth was on mine, quieting me. The kiss was soft at first. A tender exploration of my lips, but it had been too long since he’d kissed me last. And it had been too long since I ever felt like this. I wanted more.
Sliding my hands up his chest and then the sides of his slightly rough cheeks, I thrust my fingers deep into his messy, soft hair. That was all the encouragement Cam needed. He deepened the kiss, parting my lips as his tongue slipped in. His hands slid to my hips and then up to my waist. He tugged me against him and the kiss went from innocent and sweet to downright sexy in a matter of seconds.
Cam lifted me, wringing a startled gasp from me that was quickly lost in him. Instinct took over and I wrapped my legs around his waist. In one powerful lunge, he moved forward and my back was against the wall and his chest was flush against mine. My body softened, dampened between my thighs as I felt him there, evidence of how badly he wanted me. Every inch of my body tightened as heat poured into me.
For the first time, there wasn’t a smidgen of panic. Nothing but wonderful sensations that made me feel alive, and for once, I was completely in control. There was a freedom in that I never experienced before and I threw myself into that kiss. He made that terribly sexy sound that rumbled through his chest and then mine.
It seemed like forever before he lifted his mouth. “I need to go.”
I let out a shaky breath. “You’re leaving now?”
“I’m not a saint, sweetheart,” he all but growled. “So if I don’t leave now, I won’t be leaving for some time.”
A pulse went from the tips of my breasts to my core. “What if I don’t want you to leave?”
“Fuck,” he said, sliding his hands down to my thighs. “You’re making this very hard to be the good guy you said I was last night.”
“I’m not drunk.”
He pressed his forehead to mine, chuckling softly. “Yeah, I can see that and while the idea of taking you right now, against the wall, is enough to make me lose control, I want you to know that I’m serious. You’re not a hook up. You’re not a friend with benefits. You’re more than that to me.”
I closed my eyes, breathing heavily. “Well, that was… really sort of perfect.”
“I’m really sort of perfect,” he replied, gently untangling my legs. He sat me on the floor and I would’ve fallen right over if he hadn’t held on. “Everyone else knows that. You’re just a little slow on the uptake.”
I laughed. “What are you going to do?”
“Take a cold shower.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
I laughed again. “You coming back over?”
“Always,” he said, kissing me quickly.
“Okay.” I opened my eyes, smiling. “I’ll wait for you.”
Chapter 26
My life changed in very little ways in such a short period of time that it all added up to this monumental deal, at least to me. Cam had spent all day Sunday with me and I’d woken up this morning to a good morning text from him.
Before I even had a chance to break the news to Brit and Jacob about the status change between Cam and I, they saw it firsthand while we waited outside for Brit to finish her cigarette before heading into Whitehall on Monday.
Cam came out of nowhere, slipping up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. I stiffened for a fraction of a second before forcing myself to relax. He pressed his lips to my cheek, and the shiver had nothing to do with the cold air. “Hey there.”
The cigarette fell out of Brit’s mouth.
Jacob blinked once, then twice, and then again. “What the…?”
I gripped Cam’s forearms as he trailed his lips to my ear, blazing a path across my skin. “I think Brittany’s going to catch her shoe on fire.”
My gaze dropped and I broke free from his hold. “Oh, my God, Brit, your shoe!”
She glanced down and gave a little shriek. Kicking the lit cigarette off her shoe, she jumped back. “I almost burned to death. And it would’ve been your fault!”
“My fault?”
“Yes. Because you didn’t tell me about this.” She gestured wildly at a grinning Cam. “That!”
“Are you two, you know?” Jacob pointed at us. “Together? Together?”
I didn’t get a chance to answer. Cam spun me around and kissed me, right there between the two buildings. It was no friendly peck on the lips. When our tongues touched, my bag slipped off my arm and hit the frosted ground.
“Holy crap,” Jacob muttered. “I think they’re going to make babies.”
Cheeks flaming, I pulled back. Cam looked absolutely shameless as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. Over his shoulder, I saw Steph and her friend, gaping at us. Guess she didn’t get the memo either.
“I got to catch up with the professor before class begins, so I’ve got to run,” he said, backing up. “See you after class?”
“Yes.” My lips tingled, along with various other parts of my body. “See you then.”
When I turned back to my friends, both of them stared at me like I just flashed them my goods. Bending down, I picked up my bag. “Okay, before both of you start yelling at me, it just happened, like yesterday and I hadn’t had the time to say anything.”
Brit folded her arms. “You haven’t had a second to call, or I don’t know, send a text message?”
“We sort of hung out all day yesterday, went to dinner and then—”
“Did you guys have sex?” Jacob grasped my shoulders, giving me a little shake. “Oh my God, girl, details—I needed details. What is the size of his—?”
“We didn’t have sex.” I smacked his hands away. “Geez, we just got together yesterday. Give me some time for that.”
“I would’ve been screwing him since August,” Jacob advised.
I shot him a bland look.
They drilled me on what happened as we headed in to Whitehall and through the beginning of class. By the time I left them to wait for Cam outside, I was sure I’d smoothed over my friend fail.
I stood just outside of the awning, leaning against one of the pillars. I probably looked weird, because of the beaming smile plastered across my face, but I hadn’t really stopped smi
ling since yesterday morning.
My smile slipped an inch when I saw Cam coming out of the doors, Steph attached to his side. The only thing that kept me from acting like a tiger and pouncing on her was the fact that Cam didn’t look too thrilled.
Steph tossed her glossy mane of hair over one shoulder as they approached me. “Hi,” she said with I thought was a whole butt load of false cheer.
“Hey,” I replied, holding her gaze.
Cam slipped up to my side, threading his fingers through mine. “Your class let out early?”
I nodded. “Just a few minutes ago.”
Steph was glaring daggers through our joined hands. “Are you going to be at Jase’s party next Saturday, Cam?”
There was a party? As stupid as it was, I so did not like the idea of Cam going to a party where Steph would be. Wrong. Wrong. But an ugly feeling snaked through me whenever I thought of those two hooking up in the past.
“I don’t know yet.” Cam squeezed my hand. “Depends on if Avery wants to go.”
Her perfect mouth dropped open, and I think I loved Cam. “If Avery wants to…? Whatever.” She stalked off, joining the girl I’d seen her with at the Halloween party.
I looked up at Cam. “Well, she didn’t seem too happy about that.”
He shrugged.
We started up the hill, toward Knutti. “So you guys weren’t more than just friends with benefits?”
Cam sent me a sidelong glance. “We hooked up every once in a while, but like I told you this weekend, I haven’t been with anyone since I met you.”
“I know. It just seems like she wanted more.”
“Wouldn’t you?”
“Geez, we really need to work on your confidence.”
Cam chuckled as he pulled me to his side. We huddled against the wind whipping down the hill. “I can think of a few other things we can work on.”
“Perv,” I mumbled even though my mind was right there with him.
He pressed his lips to my temple. “Guilty as charged, sweetheart.”
#
Cam didn’t go to the party at Jase’s Saturday night. He hadn’t even brought it up and I wasn’t sure if I should have. I felt a little guilty about him not going, because I didn’t want to interfere with his friends, but he didn’t seemed bothered by the fact that he was missing out on an epic game of beer pong.
