by J. Lynn
“You loved me?”
Cam dropped his forehead to mine and his chest rose sharply under my hands. “I love you.”
My heart stuttered. “You love me?”
“Yes, sweetheart.”
There was a strength in those words, but there was a power in the truth. Something broke wide open inside me, like a foundation on a great, thick wall finally giving under the weight. A hailstorm of emotion whirled inside me, seeking a way out. I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t even try. Tears streamed down my face, so fast that I couldn’t see Cam’s face through them.
A sound from the back of his throat came and he pulled me to his chest, circling his arms around me tightly. He held me, whispering soothing, nonsensical words. At some point, he lifted me into his arms and carried me back to his bedroom. He laid me down on his bed and climbed in beside me, cradling me to his chest. Once the tears came, they didn’t stop. They were the big, ugly kind of sobs you couldn’t speak or breathe around. There was also something renewing in those tears, as if each tear that fell somehow symbolized that I was finally letting go.
I cried for Molly and all that she had to go through. I cried for Cam and everything I had put him through. I cried, because in the end, he still loved me. Most of all, I cried for everything that I had lost and for everything I knew I could now gain.
Chapter 31
Lying beside me on my bed, Cam reached over and picked up a strand of my hair. He twirled the reddish brown lock around his fingers and then smacked it across my nose. “So what does it feel like to finally be a sophomore in college?”
I caught his hand and untangled by hair, grinning. “I’m not officially a sophomore. Not until school starts again in the fall.”
“I deem you a sophomore now.” He plucked up my hair again, this time trailing it across my cheek. “What I say goes.”
“Then how does it feel finally being a senior. Next year is your last.”
“Amazing,” he replied, tracing my lower lip with the ends of my hair. “It feels amazing.”
Wiggling closer to him, I wrapped my fingers in the collar of his shirt. “It feels pretty damn good to be a sophomore.”
“Would be better if you didn’t sign up for summer classes.”
“True.” I was taking bio over the summer to get it out of the way. And it would work out. Cam was helping out with a summer soccer camp for kids, so he’d be here most of the time. I was going to miss Brit and Jacob though. They’d already headed home.
Smiling softly, I managed to get closer. Cam spread his arms and I placed my head on his shoulder, throwing an arm and a leg over him.
“Close enough?” he asked.
“No.”
He chuckled as his fingers trailed up and down my spine. My body relaxed under the soft ministrations. His lips brushed my forehead and I smiled.
Things were different between us since I’d told him the truth. It had been rough and awkward immediately afterward. Rather Cam admitted it, he hadn’t been sure on how to proceed forward with our relationship. Like what he should say or do and it wasn’t like a miraculous change occurred overnight. Three weeks had passed before anything sexual happened between us. It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to, but I knew he hadn’t wanted to push me. It took me taking control and basically attacking him for him to get the message. Of course, we hadn’t had sex, yet, but the one time had regained how far we’d come in that aspect.
In a small way he did look at me differently, but it wasn’t as I feared. He knew the whole story now and that did change us.
For the better.
I was more of myself, the way I was before. I even went to a party thrown at Jase’s last weekend. There’d been moments of unease there, but Cam had been there to help me through it instead of dealing with it on my own. I had danced with Cam.
He’d really enjoyed that.
There weren’t any secrets between us and we had the whole summer ahead of us to explore, but there were things on my mind. Resolving the issues with Cam had been important and a much needed step, but there were still things I needed to face, still needed to take care of and they were big things.
Rolling on top of Cam, I straddled his hips. “Hey.”
His eyes got that heavy, sensual look to them as he placed his hands on my waist. “Hey there.”
“So I’ve been doing some thinking.”
“Oh God.”
“Shut up.” I laughed and then lowered my head, kissing his lips. “Actually, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. There’s something I want to do.”
“What?” His hands slid down over my shorts and rested on my thighs.
I bit my lip. “I want to go home.”
Cam’s brows shot up. “Like back to Texas?”
“Yes.”
“For how long?”
Placing my hands on his stomach, I sat back. A flicker of tension ricocheted across his face as I pressed down on him. Part of it was on purpose. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy. For just a day or two.”
His grip tightened. “Damn. There goes my master plan of spending the summer like a sex-crazed bachelor.”
I rolled my eyes.
“What do you want to do if you go back there?” he asked, smoothing his hands over my thighs.
“I want to see my parents,” I admitted. “I need to talk to them.”
“About what happened?”
“I’ve never talked to them about what happened, not since that night.” I tapped my fingers along his chest. “I need to talk to them. I know this sounds like it being a bitch fest, but I need to tell them that what they did was wrong.”
Cam let go of my thighs and placed his hands over mine. “It doesn’t sound like a bitch fest, but do you think it’s wise? I mean, do you think it’s going to help you and not…”
“Hurt me?” I smiled softly. “There’s really nothing more my parents can do that will hurt me, but I feel like I need to confront them. Does that make me a bad person?”
“No.”
“I need to do this.” I took a deep breath. “I also need to talk to Molly.”
“What?”
“I need to talk to her and try to explain why I did what I did. I know it’s risky and if it comes back and bites me in the ass with the non-disclosure, then it does, but if I can get her to understand just a little a bit, then maybe it will help her and she’ll stop contacting me.” And that would be a hell of a nice change. Since we talked, she still sent me messages. Sporadic ones, so I guess that was an improvement, but I wanted them to end.
I wanted to move on completely.
Cam eyes met mine. “I don’t know about that. The girl seems like she’s not the most stable person out there.”
“She’s not crazy. She’s just mad and she has a reason to be.”
“And you’re not the reason why it happened to her. You know that, right? You’re not responsible.”
I didn’t say anything, because I wasn’t sure if that was the truth. If I hadn’t dropped the charges, Blaine wouldn’t have gotten away with what he’d done and that may have been enough to stop him from doing it again. Or not. That would be a great unknown.
“I need to do this for myself and for Molly,” I said finally. It wasn’t going to be pretty. “I don’t want to run anymore, Cam. And I know I can never really put this behind me. What happened… well, it will always be a part of me, but it won’t be me. Not anymore.”
Cam was silent for a moment. “You know what I think?”
“I’m awesome?”
“Besides that.”
“What?”
“I think you’ve already made it that far, Avery. I think you have accepted it will be part of you, but it’s not you. You just haven’t realized that.” His hands moved to my hips. “But if you want to do this, then you’ll do this and I’ll be there with you.”
“You want to go with—” I squealed as Cam rolled suddenly and I was on my back and he was above me.
“You’re not doi
ng this by yourself. Hell to the mother fucking no,” he said, resting his weight on his arm. “I’m going with you. And you’re not talking me out of it. When do you want to do this?”
“Got any plans this weekend?”
A silent laugh shook his shoulders. “Jesus.”
“I need to do this.”
He dropped a kiss to the tip of my nose. “I don’t think you do, sweetheart, but if you think you do, then that’s what matters.”
I loved his belief in me. It was beautiful. “You really want to come with me?”
“That’s a stupid question, Avery. And yes, there is such a thing as stupid questions. That was one of them. Of course I’m going to be there with you.”
My lips spread in a smile. “I love you.”
“I know.”
“Cocky.”
“Confident,” he replied, lowering his head to mine. He kissed me softly, but my body stirred to life. “I love you, sweetheart.”
I started to wrap my arms around him, but he rocked off me and grabbed my hand. “Hey! Get back here.”
“Nope. We got stuff to do.” He hauled me off the bed. “And if you start feeling me up, we aren’t going to get anything done.”
“What are we doing it?”
Dipping down suddenly, he picked me up over one shoulder and spun toward the door. “We got some tickets to book.”
#
It seemed absolutely insane that we were Texas two days later, but here we were, checking into a hotel not too far from my parents’ house. Not wanting to delay what I needed to do today, as soon as we dropped off our luggage, we hit the road. I didn’t tell my parents I was coming to Texas, so I had no idea if they’d actually be home.
Cam let out a low whistle as he followed the winding road around the bend and my parents’ estate came into view. “Good Lord, that’s a house.”
“It’s really not,” I said as my gaze crawled over the manicured, bare lawn and then the massive brick structure. “Your parents have a home. This is just a really big shell.”
He parked the rental in the center of the circular driveway, near the marble fountain that bubbled with water. Eyeing it, he smiled slightly. “I don’t think I’ve actually seen a house with a fountain in front of it in real life.”
I took a deep breath, nervous but determined. “I can do this.”
“You can.” He squeezed my knee gently. “You sure you don’t want me to come inside?”
“Yes.” I looked at him, smiling. Of course I wanted him in there with me. “I need to do this by myself.”
He settled back in the seat. “If you change your mind, text me and I’ll be right there.”
I leaned over, kissing him softly. “You’re amazing.”
His lips curved against mine. “So are you.”
Kissing him once more, I then opened the door and climbed out. If I stayed a moment longer, I would change my mind. As I shut the door, Cam stopped me.
“Just remember that whatever they say doesn’t change the fact that you’re a beautifully strong woman and nothing that happened was your fault.”
Tears filled my eyes and a steely resolve fortified my spine. “Thank you.”
Cam winked. “Now go do good things.”
Giving him a watery smile, I turned and headed up the wide stairs and across the porch. A fan in the ceiling stirred hot air and lifted a few strands of my hair. I raised my hand to knock and then shook my head. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the key. I didn’t need to knock.
The lock gave and with one more glance back at where Cam waited, I stepped inside my parents’ house.
Nothing had changed. That was my first impression as I quietly shut the door behind me. Everything was clean and shiny. There was no smell or sounds. Nothing welcoming about the cold foyer.
I walked under the golden chandelier and entered the former sitting room. “Dad? Mom?”
Silence.
I sighed as I passed white furniture my mom would have a shit fit over if anyone dared to sit in. I checked the dining room and then the living room. Finally, after checking out the study and then the kitchen, I headed upstairs.
The steps made no sound.
On the second floor, I headed toward the end of the hall, to the last door and pushed it open.
It was my bedroom—keyword being was.
“Holy shit,” I whispered.
All my stuff was gone—my books, my desk, the posters and other little odds and ends I’d left behind. Not that it really mattered, but geez, nothing about this room would make anyone think I used to live in it.
“We packed your stuff up.”
I jumped and spun around. She stood in the doorway to what used to be my bedroom, dressed in beige, linen slacks and a white blouse tucked in. Her strawberry-blonde hair was coifed, her face void of any line or physical imperfection.
“Mom.”
A delicate eyebrow arched. “Your stuff is in the attic if that is what you’re here for. We had the help move it up there after I spoke with you in the fall.”
“You forgot my birthday,” I blurted out.
She tilted her head to the side in a smooth, elegant movement. “We did?”
I stared at her a moment and all I could think was what a bitch. Anger rose, but I pushed it down. Anger got you nowhere with Mrs. Morgansten. You had to beat her at her own game—stay calm, stay collected. “I’m not here for my stuff.”
“Are you here to move back in?” she asked, and she didn’t sound hopeful. She sounded like nothing. I wondered if she got plastic surgery for her voice. It was as expressive as her face.
“No.” I almost snorted. “I’m here to talk to you and Dad. Is he home?”
She didn’t answer immediately. “He’s out on the veranda.”
Most folk would call that a covered porch, but not Mom. “Well, let’s go.”
Not waiting for an answer, I brushed past her and headed downstairs. She trailed slightly behind and I could feel her eyes boring into the back of me. I started counting. I made it to five and the bottom step before she opened her mouth.
“Have you’ve gotten a haircut recently?”
“No.”
There was a slight huff. “I can tell.”
I sighed. “Then why did you ask?”
Mom didn’t respond until we reached the den that led out to the porch. “What are you wearing by the way?”
“Thrift store shit,” I replied, even though that wasn’t true.
She tasked softly. “Very nice, Avery.”
I rolled my eyes as I pushed open the door, half tempted to race back through the house and start rolling around on all the white furniture. Dad was sitting on one of the chaise lounges, reading a newspaper. Before I could open my mouth, Mom did.
“Look who decided to pay us a visit.”
Dad lowered the newspaper as he looked up. Surprised flickered across his face. “Avery.”
“Hey, Dad.”
Sitting up, he folded the newspaper and placed it aside. “We weren’t expecting you.”
No ‘how have you’ve been’ or ‘happy to see you.’ I sat in one of the wicker chairs. “I know. I’m not going to be here for long.”
“She wants to talk to us.” Mom remained standing. “I cannot fathom what it could be about, but there is a rental in the driveway and there’s a boy in the car.”
I ignored that comment. “This has nothing to do with the rental or who is in the car.”
“I’d surely hope you didn’t come all this way to talk about that,” she replied.
I took a long, deep breath. “I spoke to David.” My father stiffened, and Mom was surprisingly quiet. Good signs. “He told me about Molly Simmons and Blaine Fitzgerald and what happened last summer—what will happen this summer.”
“Avery…”
“No,” I said, cutting Mom off before she could say anything else that would surely piss me off. “I haven’t broken the agreement. I’ve kept my mouth shut all these years. I’ve done
exactly what you two told me I should do.”
Mom drew herself up. “David had no right to call you—”
“Why not?” I demanded. “Is it against the law to let me know that Blaine raped another girl, just like he had raped me?”
Dad sucked in a shrill breath, but Mom, she got whiter if that was possible. “There is no reason to put that out there so crudely,” she said, crossing her arms. “We know what you said—”
“What I told you that night at the hospital is the same thing I told the police. Blaine had raped me. It was you two that decided I should drop the charges, which made everyone think that I had lied.”
“Avery,” my father began.
I didn’t let him get any further. “The reason why I even came here is because I need to let go of what happened to me and the only way I can do that is by telling you two what I should’ve said then.” I took a breath, one I didn’t need. “You two were wrong. You were so unbelievably wrong in what you decided.”
Mom stepped forward. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” I stood, my hands balling into fists. “You should’ve told his parents to go fuck themselves. You should’ve told them to get the hell out of your house. You should’ve gone to the police and told then what his parents were trying to do, which was to bribe your daughter into silence. And for what? So you wouldn’t have to go to court? So that no one would ask questions? And you all could still go to the club and things wouldn’t be awkward? Meanwhile, I was labeled a lying whore by everyone? And Blaine was free to do it again to another person? How culpable are we? You should’ve stood beside me and believed me! You should’ve gotten me help. I’m your daughter. You should’ve been thinking about me.”
Dad looked away, and I could understand why. Maybe he’d always suspected the truth. I would be ashamed, too.
“Things haven’t turned out that bad for your, Avery.” Mom let out a noisy breath. “After all, look at what you’ve been able to do with that money. Go to college. Furnish your own apartment.” Her lip curled. “You make it sound like we did nothing for you.”
“Nancy,” my father said, lifting his head.
“What?” She tipped her chin up. “Never once did she think this was hard on us.”
