by Rona Jameson
I felt her tears seep through my tee while my own fell down my face and into my hair.
I needed Fallon to breathe.
15
Fallon
It had been three months since I’d left the hospital, and physically I’d made a complete recovery. I had scars I hadn’t had before, and I no longer got a period, which had its advantages and disadvantages considering my young age. I was aware that one day the fact I couldn’t have children might affect me more than it currently did, but I was handling it okay.
Part of me felt like my family was walking around on eggshells. As though I had deliberately put myself in the path of the truck because of how upset I’d been. That wasn’t the truth. I’d do anything to turn back the clock and not be at that particular intersection at that particular time. What happened couldn’t be undone and it was something I had to live with, and so did my family.
My relationship with Rogan was stronger than ever, but we made sure never to be alone because of how our feelings had grown beyond anything they ever should have. He was the only one I saw when I should never have seen him in the first place.
In the privacy of my own room, with the only light being from my e-book reader, I read one of my romance novels. My heart started to pound as the main character touched himself in the shower. The image in my mind was of Rogan when I’d watched him shower and witnessed his pleasure. The images were always Rogan and myself, of our bodies entwined together.
I had never even been kissed, which made me sad. I didn’t think Rogan would help me out with any of that kind of life experience. He’d probably be mad if I asked him. The truth was he’d be mad as hell if I asked anyone else.
Frustrated, I tossed the e-reader to the bedside table and turned onto my stomach. I couldn’t go on in the same way anymore. Desiring someone I was never supposed to think about in that way, let alone crave.
With dreams in my head, I slowly slipped into sleep.
I’m tired as I pull up to the intersection.
The light turns green and I continue through.
A loud car horn blares and I turn to look, only to have something smash into the opposite side of the car I’m in. Pain rips through me, and I scream for Rogan…and scream…and scream…
“Fallon, wake up.”
I was rocked from the side and felt a warm body beside me.
“Fallon,” Rogan growled. “You need to wake up now.”
“I’m awake,” I mumbled, not recognizing my voice. “I think.”
“You scared the life out of me when you screamed. I thought you were being murdered.” Rogan pulled me against him and I felt his heart thudding wildly in his chest. “You scared me.” He wrapped himself around me, so I turned in his arms and wrapped mine around him.
He only wore shorts and his chest was warm as I snuggled against him.
“I’m sorry I woke you,” I said, not really meaning it. I was in his arms so how could I be sorry?
“It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway,” he grumbled. “What were you dreaming about?”
I buried my face into the crook of his neck so that he wouldn’t see my tears. “The accident. For the split second I had before I lost consciousness, and…and…how I screamed for you.”
His arms tightened around me. “It was my fault that you went off on your own. I should never have left you on your birthday, of all days.”
I shook my head, no longer worried about him seeing my tears. “You did what you had to do, and although I’d rather not have had to go through that with you on my birthday, I understand it. I don’t like it. It hurts too much. But I get it.”
Rogan stared at me, his eyes searching my face for something—I didn’t know what— while I searched his. He was so handsome with his chiseled jaw, high cheekbones, and overly long sexy hair. The girls at school were all in love with him. Not as much as I was. But he featured in a lot of girls’ dreams, yet here he was, in my bed. Holding me from a bad dream about the crash. He was at home every night. Never snuck out to be with anyone else. He was always here, making sure he was close by if I ever needed him.
Our parents had accepted us being close, and I wasn’t sure what to make of that. I knew they worried, and were always checking on me. So maybe they considered Rogan my watcher. Rogan certainly didn’t think of himself as that.
Then something else registered with me.
“Why didn’t Mom or Dad wake and check on me?” My hands fluttered on Rogan’s shoulders.
“Dad opened their bedroom door, but I told him I’d go.” He shrugged, and glanced away. “He knows I still would have come to check on you if he had, so he went back to bed.” He blushed and then winced. “I think you may have interrupted them.”
“Interrupted?” I frowned and then blushed bright red. “Eww, I didn’t need to know that.”
He chuckled. “You little prude.”
I pinched his side and he wiggled, his hard penis slipped from his shorts and pressed against my thigh. We both froze. Rogan closed his eyes and his fists tightened on my hips, and as I slowly breathed, he moved his lower half away. “Forget that happened.”
Swallowing, I met his gaze. “You want me?”
“You’re not helping, Fallon,” he growled.
“I’ve never felt a…a…um…thingy before. I mean a naked thingy on my skin before.”
He looked stunned and then burst out laughing. He rolled over to his back and quickly shoved his penis back into his shorts and covered his groin with a hand. I felt his loss when we no longer touched.
“Thingy?” He turned his head and held my gaze. “You mean my—”
I covered his mouth. “Yes, or anyone else’s for that matter.”
He frowned. “You better not be touching anyone else’s.” He stared up at the ceiling and cursed.
“And it is eww, the thought of Mom and Dad doing it.”
He blinked as if he was getting his brain back into the previous conversation.
“I mean—”
“Can we not talk about it.” Rogan changed the subject. “Did you know Uncle Frank is coming over tomorrow to talk to Mom and Dad about something? I overheard Dad telling Mom, but he has no clue as to what is really going on with his brother.”
“Well, that’s changing the subject.” I rolled to my side. “He sees too much.”
Glancing at me, Rogan played with a curl of my hair before he asked, “Are you okay now if I go back to my room?”
I wanted to say no. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.”
He swallowed and stared at my lips before snapping his eyes up to mine. Within seconds, he was out of my room and behind the closed bedroom door.
Sadness seeped into me as I cuddled the pillow Rogan had used to my chest. I shouldn’t be sad about him leaving my bedroom. I should be like any other sister and close my eyes and go to sleep, instead of playing over and over in my mind what it had felt like to feel Rogan’s flesh reaching for me, pressing against my bare thigh.
If it was so wrong, why did it feel so right?
16
Fallon
Rogan was next door hanging out with Leon, and I was left alone to listen in on Mom and Dad’s conversation with Uncle Frank. It was more information than I wanted to hear, but I found myself too intrigued to shove my ear buds into my ears and listen to music.
Apparently, Aunt Sally, Uncle Frank’s wife, had had enough of him and had finally seen wisdom by kicking him out of the house. Dad was currently trying to talk him out of moving in with his “bit on the side,” and Uncle Frank didn’t have the sense to lower his voice down. I would be surprised if the neighbors couldn’t hear every damn thing.
My ears certainly perked up when my parents said he could stay with us while he looked for his own place. The blood pounded through my head when Mom suggested Rogan move in to share my room and Uncle Frank could have Rogan’s room. What was Mom doing? Didn’t she know how difficult Rogan and I were finding it to keep our hands off of each other? Sharing a room wasn’t g
oing to help with that, it would only make temptation harder to resist. I teased Rogan into more, but I wasn’t sure what I would do if he actually took me up on the offers…and why wasn’t Dad reminding Mom of this past summer, and the conversation that took place then?
Rogan was certainly not going to be happy with the new development. There was also a matter of where he’d sleep? I had a double bed, and there was a pullout sofa bed that was uncomfortable as anything to sleep on.
They just couldn’t put us together.
Quietly, I abandoned my listening post at the top of the stairs and made my way back to my room. With panicked eyes, I looked around and tried to imagine Rogan permanently in it. The sad truth was, I could imagine him permanently in the bedroom with me, which was why I knew it could never happen.
I flopped down on top of my bed, spreading my arms and legs wide as though I was making a snow angel, wanting to disappear. I didn’t know one girl at school who didn’t want to get naked with Rogan, and it made me angry and jealous.
Other than the farce of a relationship with Corinne, I only knew about his date with Debra Taylor when he was sixteen. I’d been eaten with jealousy when rumors had spread through school about the girl and Rogan.
Sighing, I suddenly realized the moment Julia found out Rogan was sharing my room I’d never hear the end of it. I’d also get some knowing looks from her, Chase, and Leon because they already thought we spent too much time together.
The door to Rogan’s bedroom slammed closed, and I jumped up from my bed, ending my musings. I snuck out of my room and walked along the edge of the red runner because it was the only place where the landing didn’t creek.
Usually, I’d knock on Rogan’s door but what I’d just discovered meant that I barged in—stealth mode.
Not seeing him in his room meant he was in the bathroom, so I took a running jump and dived onto his bed and laid with my head hanging off. I blinked a few times when I spotted him standing in the doorway to the bathroom with a towel held in front of his groin as though he was about to shower.
“Forget how to knock?” he asked, his free hand holding onto the top of the doorjamb.
I didn’t miss his eyes searching over my body, or the way his body was on display for my gaze. The way the hair around his belly button disappeared beneath the towel that was very low, showing more than he realized. I snapped my eyes closed and breathed deeply.
“Mom wants us to share a room so Uncle Frank can stay in here for a while,” I gushed out and finally met his gaze.
Rogan narrowed his eyes, and getting dizzy, I flipped over to my stomach and watched my brother, who fidgeted under my gaze.
“No way is that going to happen.” He shook his head in denial. “Not after the talk.”
“That’s what you’re hoping, but I’m telling you, Rogan, that’s what I heard. And Dad agreed.” I chewed on my bottom lip.
“There is no way we can share a room,” he stated with confidence, just as his towel started to slip.
He made a grab for it while I took my time really looking at him. He’d become a man. A hot one at that, so it was no wonder all the girls drooled after him. I was his sister and I couldn’t keep my gaze from him, or my mind from wondering about him. Or my heart from longing for something I wasn’t allowed to even think about, let alone have.
He fidgeted again and took a step back into the bathroom. “Fallon,” he growled. “You have to stop looking at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you want to…to…never mind.”
Rapidly blinking, I wondered what the hell I was doing, because he was right.
“I can’t help how I look at you. You even look at me with the same hunger on your face. You know you do.” I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “My friends are always telling me how hot you are. That’s all I hear, so can you imagine what it will be like if word gets out that we’re sharing a room.” I looked anywhere but at him. “They won’t leave me alone because they’ll want a glimpse of you like I’m getting right now.”
“You need to leave,” he snapped, turning his back, which made my eyes pop wide and a smirk spread across my face.
“Um, nice butt.” I giggled and had to slam a hand over my mouth when I heard someone walking upstairs.
Rogan secured the towel but not before I caught him watching me from the corner of his eye. I placed a finger over my lips before turning to the door. I should have locked the thing once I entered his room.
“I’m going in the shower,” he hissed. “You have to go.”
“No way.” I shook my head.
Rogan grinned, a devil glare in his eyes. “The door won’t stay closed, so unless you want to watch me take a shower, then I suggest you leave.”
Telling him I’d already watched him shower was on the tip of my tongue, but I knew he wouldn’t let that comment go if I blurted it out, so I kept my mouth closed, telling myself I really did need to leave. I just didn’t want to face Mom and Dad, or even worse, Uncle Frank, without having a united front with Rogan.
“I’m staying and then we’ll go downstairs together.”
His gaze narrowed and then he grinned. I got a really bad feeling.
“Suit yourself, then.”
He turned his back, dropped the towel, and stepped into the shower.
I stared transfixed at the image he made and when he turned, I got a view of his junk. His hard, thick, and long junk that looked ready to burst from the look of things. He made no attempt to cover himself.
My heart told me to take my clothes off and join him, but my head told me to get out of his room while I still could. I did neither. He shouldn’t be teasing me in that way. Why was he? I couldn’t catch a proper breath as I watched him stroke himself in the shower. His eyes were fixated on my body. He could probably see everything through my thin white tee. My breasts felt heavy and swollen, tingles shot to the tips. I hadn’t planned on going anywhere, which was why I had no bra on.
I desperately wanted to join him, but I didn’t. My feet took me back to my bedroom and I slid down the bedroom door and buried my head in my drawn up knees. I desperately tried to get the vision of Rogan in the shower out of my head. Nothing worked. I didn’t think I’d ever forget the look on his face as he stroked his penis. It had looked painfully tight with need.
I stayed on the floor until there was a knock on the door.
“Fallon, open the door,” Rogan whispered and knocked again. “I know you’re in there.”
For some reason, my lust turned to anger, so I narrowed my gaze, and quickly scrambled to my feet, and yanked the door open. Rogan stood there in jeans and a white tee, his hair all messy with a bashful smirk on his handsome face. Instead of throwing myself into his arms like I wanted to do, I grabbed him by the arm and yanked him into my room. He lost his balance and caught himself by grabbing onto me. We crashed into the dresser, my hip taking the brunt of the fall.
He straightened us out and, after one look at me, he cursed. “Where are you hurt?”
“Hip,” I whined like a five-year-old. “God it hurts.”
“Stop being a baby and let me look.”
That snapped me out of the pity party of pain. “No way am I dropping my jeans for you.”
“Jesus Christ, Fallon. Why don’t you shout it out the window?”
“You smashed into me.”
“You dragged me in here.” He pulled his lips tight and pressed against the bridge of his nose with a finger and thumb, and said, “If I asked you to drop your jeans, let’s make no mistake, you would.”
“I’m not even going to think about that,” I mumbled between bouts of pain.
He grinned and added, “Make sure you check that out.”
“I will.” I hobbled over to the bed and tried sitting down but shot back up. “My jeans are too tight to sit in now that I’ve hurt my hip bone. I have some shorts in the bathroom. Give me a minute.” I quickly changed and dashed back into the bedroom, only to wince when
I sat down in the window seat.
“How bad is it?” Rogan asked from his position lying on the bed.
“I haven’t looked.”
He raised a brow.
“I’ll look later. You were about to tell me why you’re here?”
“I forgot.” He grinned.
“An apology, maybe?” I suggested.
“Apology for what?” He gave me side-eye, a sexy smirk on his fine lips.
“As if you didn’t know—”
“Fallon, Rogan, can you both come downstairs, please?” Mom hollered.
“Oh God, what are we going to do?” I moaned and accepted Rogan’s offered hand up from the seat. “We can’t share a room, especially after that show you put on earlier. I can’t be seeing that on a daily basis. I mean, I want to see that on a daily basis. But I can’t. We can’t. I mean—”
“Fallon,” he growled, slamming his hand over my mouth, “stop!” He smirked. “I bet you haven’t seen one that big before, huh?” He teased.
“What has gotten into you?” I snapped. “We go out of our way so that we’re not alone. So that we don’t end up naked together, and then you go and stroke yourself while staring at me!” I poked him in the chest. “You know I’ve only ever been up close and personal with you. Jerk!” I mumbled the last part as I moved away from him.
Rogan frowned and looked as though he was as confused as I was, and I continued, “You can’t be doing that again or saying shit to me like that.” I swiped at a tear as Rogan watched me. “It hurts me, Rogan. Knowing that you’re right in front of me, but I can never be with you. We need to stop teasing each other and try and get on with our lives. We have to.”
He wrapped his arms around me and breathed into my ear, sending goose bumps down my spine. “I love you.”
He kissed the top of my head and, taking my hand, led me out of the bedroom.
