“It hasn’t even been five minutes.”
She harrumphs and stomps her cane on my porch. Estella doesn’t like when I backtalk her. And by backtalk, I mean that I don’t bow down to her dragon queen status. I stopped doing that a long time ago.
“It has not,” she says waiting. While I know I’ll hate myself for doing it, I step back so she can come into my house.
“I got her, Marvin. Do you want to wait here or go back to the car?”
“He can wait in the car.”
The dragon has spoken.
Marvin nods and then scurries off. I would feel sorry for him, but he’s lasted twenty years as her driver. I figure that he wouldn’t hang around if he didn’t want to. I follow my grandmother into the kitchen. She makes herself at home at the table.
“I would like tea.”
“Great. Do you have any?” I ask, not trying to hide my irritation.
“How can you not have the basics in your house?”
“Well, I hate tea. That’s why. I just got into town last night.”
We both know she knows exactly when I arrived. She might think she’s above the LOLs, but she is one of them. They always keep her informed of my movements. I definitely need to consider going to Vegas. She might know people there—she knows people everywhere—but she wouldn’t be there. She thinks it’s a horrible place.
“Is that why you left me out there for thirty minutes?”
Normally, I would be a little more patient. I show her deference because she did make sure I had a somewhat stable life growing up. That wasn’t an easy feat with my parents and their constant change in bed partners. But I’m an emotional wreck. Walking away from Flipping Texas should be easy, but it isn’t. Right now, I feel as if my soul has been ripped apart. The drain has been difficult to deal with, but I also feel like I lost a big part of myself. For that reason, I have no patience, especially for whatever BS my grandmother is here to dish out.
“Wait, is that like dog years?”
Her eyes narrow. “What are you talking about?”
“Is thirty minutes to an old woman like five minutes to a younger person?”
She purses her lips. Direct hit. She has one of the best plastic surgeons in the country on speed dial for a reason. Don’t get me wrong. She’s not crazy about it but a little filler here…a lift there. She is a vain woman and has the money to indulge herself.
“I didn’t come to argue with you.”
I cross my arms over my chest. “What’s changed?”
“There is no need to be so nasty.”
“Just tell me what you are here for, then we can disagree, argue, and you can leave.”
She studies me for a long, tense moment. When I was younger, these kinds of looks used to make me fidget. I wanted to please her so badly. Those days are long gone but I’m still fighting the need to fidget. “I want to know what you plan on doing.”
“About what?”
“For a living.”
How does she know? Panic rises. If my grandmother has already heard, it’s hit the rags and that means I will be fielding constant questions. I thought that Travis and At Home would at least keep a lid on it for a little while. I mean, Travis still thinks he can convince me to come back, so that would not make sense. Maybe Marty? No, he wouldn’t do that without my approval.
“I make a good living,” I say, keeping my voice neutral.
She rolls her shoulders and I frown. Estella does not have any tells. If she were traveling in one of those poker tours, she would win every time because she never telegraphs what she’s thinking. That though, was a bit of a tell. What it’s about I have no idea, and I am pretty sure I’ll never find out.
“I know that you got your trust fund earlier this year, and I want to know what you’re planning on doing with it.”
Of course, money. That’s all she wants to talk about. My family is one of the richest families in Texas, actually the country. All they do is talk money. I always made the joke that where most people would have a heart, a Howard has a calculator to add up their money. That is, except me and probably Jon. There’s a reason he lives in California.
“Need a loan?” I offer.
She rolls her eyes and stamps her cane. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Howard money will never run out. My grandfather and his father made sure of that. Lord knows how much more my grandmother and father have built that up. My father might not be able to keep his dick in his pants, but he isn’t stupid. He’s very good at making money.
And, all of a sudden, I’m sick of this, so tired from the emotional roller coaster today has become.
“What are you doing here and what do you want?”
“I think it’s time you marry.”
Just like that. A pronouncement like this is a Jane Austen novel, and I have to marry or be considered an old maid.
“Why?”
“You are past the age where most women decide to marry.”
“Yeah, in the 1950’s. This is the twenty-first century.”
There is something she wants, and it has to do with someone she wants me to marry. Dammit, just one time I want my family to welcome me home. Is it too much to ask that someone tell me they missed me? Apparently so. This woman and the rest of the lizard people who make up my family are absolutely horrible. They will never accept me for who I am and, for once, I wished it didn’t hurt so much. I’ll be damned if I would ever admit it to any of them, especially my grandmother.
“As you know, you only received half of your trust fund. The other part isn’t coming for another two years.”
It was my grandfather’s way of controlling us from the grave. It’s fucked up, but I don’t really care. I don’t need the other half of my trust, not that anyone else in my family realizes that. They think I don’t have a nest egg of my own, one that is more than the second half of my trust fund would give me.
“Who?”
“Excuse me?”
I narrow my eyes because I know she understands exactly what I’m asking.
“What loser do you think I should marry?”
“Reggie Andrews.”
Ugh, Reggie. He didn’t grow up here, but his family has a lot of land just outside of town. His grandfather is the only one who still lives in town, or at least close to town. The rest of them have all scattered to Houston or Dallas. Reggie didn’t even go to school here, but I know him. When you are from one of the top earning families in Texas, you all know each other. That’s how I got an in with At Home. I know the Hawthornes, well, our families were acquainted at least.
Reginald Andrews has a bad reputation. People don’t usually talk about bad seeds like Reggie. They see it as some kind of bad form. If someone doesn’t pay his taxes or can’t control his drinking, it is often overlooked. I don’t agree with it, but it’s the way of the one percenters. Reggie is a different matter altogether.
In college he gained a reputation as being a complete predator. He earned the moniker Date Rape Reggie after so many allegations from women at his university. He drinks too much, has had more DUIs than a Florida congressman, and besides that, he’s stupid. Like really stupid. I’ve met him twice and both times left me disgusted and bewildered that he didn’t electrocute himself on a daily basis. Fortunately for Reggie, and unfortunately for women, his family covered up all of his issues. Paying off women and local law enforcement gives you a get out of jail free card. He’s scum, as is his family. Unfortunately, his grandfather is friends with my family, which is just another sign that my family sucks so many donkey balls.
“Hard pass.”
“I don’t think you have a choice in the matter. You aren’t getting any younger.”
“Well, I have it on good authority you’ll probably die before me, so there’s that.”
For just a split second, there is a flash of something human in her blue eyes, something like hurt, but it disappears so fast that I figure it was just wishful thinking. I would love her to be more human, but I k
now that’s asking too much.
“What does his family want? What do they need?”
For a second, something moves over her expression. Once again, it’s close to hurt, so I know I imagined it. This old dragon doesn’t have feelings. She sniffs in my direction, a sure sign she’s irritated with me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I’m tired, heartsore, and ready to scream. Life just isn’t fair, and I think at this moment that God truly must hate me. Or maybe he’s testing me, trying to figure out if I can handle the worst week of my life. News flash: I can’t. This all makes me want to bury my head under my pillow and sleep for a week. Or forever. I don’t want to deal with my life right now.
“Estella.”
She purses her lips because she hates when I don’t call her grandmother. I haven’t done that since I was eighteen.
“Reggie has some issues.”
I snort. “Yeah, that’s putting it mildly. Do you even know what kind of monster he is?”
Please tell me no.
“I know that he’s had a few run ins with the police.”
And there you have it. I had a feeling she would have checked him out, and that makes this so much worse. An accused rapist and alcoholic.
“Why?” I grit the question out from behind my teeth. It’s the only thing that is keeping my tears at bay.
“He lost a lot of money—”
“And Estella is going to help out? With my trust fund?”
“No. I promised to invest in something for the family if we are tied to them.”
If my heart wasn’t already hurting, it would be by now. As it is, she’s left it bleeding. Pain stabs at me and it almost shatters me. I can’t let her see how much it hurts me, or she’ll use it against me. Even after all these years, I still want the family I never had. One that cares about you, celebrates your successes, and comforts you when you fail. I have never had that, and I can ignore it most of the time. I grew up rich with more than I would ever need in possessions. I never went hungry. But I was never really loved and that has left me broken.
“Do you have an answer for me?” my grandmother demands.
“I told you. Hard pass. Thanks for stopping by. I’m sure you need to get somewhere they have tea.”
She rises up out of her chair. “I will talk to you later about this.”
Anger morphs out of the pain she’s caused once again. It is the only thing I can hold onto with this family. I can’t show my soft underbelly, or they’d stab me there every time. Survival of the fittest might as well be our family motto.
“You will not. My answer is final. I will not marry Reggie or anyone you suggest. I do what I want.”
She stops at the front door, her hand on the knob. “I will cut you off.”
I laugh but there is no humor in it. “Do you think I actually give a fuck?”
“I’ve told you before that I don’t like that kind of language.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t like the fact that you’re ready to sell me off to an alcoholic who has a penchant for drugging girls and raping them, so we’re fucking even.”
Her mouth opens as if to say something, but I shake my head. “Just go.”
And, completely unlike my grandmother, she leaves. I sag down on the chair she vacated and set my head on the table. I close my eyes, my appetite now gone. Dammit, it shouldn’t still bother me. I should be over this shit. I can’t stop the tears, and they shame me on so many levels. I lift my hand and angrily dash them away. I know that part of it is the mess with Travis that is spurring this on.
I don’t need a degree in psychology to understand why I probably kept giving him chances. He’s the unattainable, the one man I shouldn’t be hung up on. It is just like my family. A person I adore, love beyond almost every measure, but I doubt will ever be able to return that affection. Not the way I need.
My phone rings and I frown when I see that it’s Syd.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Nothing, just checking on you. You’re not mad at me, are you?”
It takes me a second to realize that she’s talking about sending Travis to me.
“No. Not really. It was going to happen sooner or later.”
“What’s wrong? Did Travis upset you?”
Of course, she would hear it in my voice. The pain, the anguish of my family and their assholery.
“No, Estella dropped by.”
The sound of disgust that slips out of Syd’s mouth makes me smile. My grandmother has one of those reputations that make her a favorite in the community. She might be standoffish, but she does do a lot of fundraising for causes in Juniper and throughout Texas. I know for a fact that she supports several scholarships to make sure that more kids here have a chance at going to college. Doesn’t mean she’s not a horrible person beyond all of that. The one person I know who understands that—who isn’t blood related to Estella—is Syd.
“What does that old bat want?”
“Nothing. She just told me I needed to get married or she was going to cut my family off from me.”
Syd snorts. “Yeah, like that’s a hardship? I mean, if she really wanted to reel you in, she should have promised to never bother you again.”
“Apparently, I’m so old that only Reggie Andrews wants to marry me.”
“I know that name. How do I know that name?”
“Date Rape Reggie.”
“Oh, Jesus, okay, yeah, I remember him now. Why the fuck would you need to marry?”
“I’ve wasted my life.”
“Fuck that. You are Nancy freaking Howard and you are fantastic.”
I laugh, and some of the tightness in my chest eases. I suddenly feel a little lighter. “Yeah, well, I told her to get bent—in completely other words. Although, I did use fuck a couple of times.”
“You’re my hero. So, Grady and I were thinking about coming into town this weekend.”
Happiness bounds through me. “Yeah? I’d love to see y’all.”
“Same. So, we’ll come up Saturday. Do up the town right.” There is murmuring in the background. “We will not start any fights, and besides, you’ll be there.”
I smile. Grady seems like a stick in the mud, but Syd has loosened him up and he treats her so well.
“That sounds like a great plan. We could eat at Mason’s. I am in the need for some BBQ therapy.”
She laughs. “I agree. So, you’re really not mad?”
“No. Irritated, but like I said, he was going to show up here at some point.”
“And?”
I don’t have to ask what she means by that.
“I don’t know. We still have to talk more.”
I hear her moving, as if stepping away from Grady to give us some privacy.
“Don’t you think you should talk more about ground rules?”
I have never told her exactly how I felt, but I know she knows. There isn’t much we don’t know about each other. Like, I knew she had a crush on Grady before she would ever admit it to anyone, including herself.
“Really, it doesn’t matter. If I tell him how I feel, it might break us even more. He would feel guilty and it would be awkward.”
“So, you are thinking about coming back?”
I sigh. “I really have no idea. It hasn’t even been seventy-two hours since we wrapped up our season. I need some time to sort it all out.”
“Okay. I like that you’re making him sleep at the office.”
I can’t stop the smile that curves my lips. “Yeah, well, there is that. At least there is running water, so it isn’t that bad.”
She giggles. “Yeah. Well, check in often.”
“I will. Love you.”
“Ditto.”
We hang up. I still have no appetite and the long day yesterday, along with the drive, is starting to hit me. With a sigh, I head back to bed, then reverse course and go set my alarm and make sure everything is locked up. I set my phone to vibrate, get rid of my bra, and put
on a nightshirt. I slip between the sheets, my thoughts seemingly bouncing from one subject to another. I’m convinced it is going to take me forever to fall asleep.
And that’s the last thought I have before I drift off to sleep.
Chapter Six
Travis
Once I get my gear stored, I decide to venture out. First stop is the police station. Josh Collins is a couple years older than me, and he dated my sister in high school. I think he has dated almost everyone in town in his age range. He went away for college and worked with the Texas Rangers for a few years, but he’s always been a Juniper Springs guy. He’s tall and lanky, the son of the former sheriff, and as easy going as his dad.
The office is slow—as it is most days. It’s not that Juniper doesn’t have issues with crime, and they tend to be busier during the summer months. Today, it seems just as quiet as it was when I was here a couple of months ago when my sister and Nancy got arrested for a brawl, which they started at one of the local bars. There is a reason why Sydney became Syd after she and Nancy started hanging out together. They look like sweet women, and they are, until they drink. Together they could easily burn down the whole town.
“Hey, Travis, what’s up?”
“Nothing,” I say, nodding to one of the deputies I recognize as a guy from the class behind me in school. “Just got back in town. Finished up the season, well except for the promo crap they make us do.”
He smiles. “I’ve been binging it on Hulu. Almost makes me want to be handy.”
“Good to know. Once we get the office up and running, we’re thinking about doing some classes.”
“I think I’ll pass. I said almost for a reason. I’m not handy at all around the house. There’s a reason I hire Jed to fix things.”
Jed is one of the contractors I use the most and a good guy all around.
“Are you telling me that the Lothario of Juniper Springs is bad at something? Do the women around here know about that?”
“Those women don’t want me around for my handyman skills.” He wiggles his eyebrows.
I laugh. Truth is, Josh doesn’t seem to date much when I’m in town. Maybe it’s the job or maybe it’s the fact he’s hung up on Bree Russo, one of the three sisters who run the winery just outside of town. Not that he would ever admit it. In high school he had a reputation though. Not a bad one, but he never went long without a girlfriend. I know he’s a good guy because even in this small town, he’s still friends with most of his exes. That’s not easy to do when everyone knows everyone else.
Love to Hate You: An Enemies to Lovers, Best Friend's Brother Romantic Comedy (The Fillmores Book 2) Page 5
