“Okay.”
I give her another kiss—this time on the forehead—then I leave her alone, shutting the door behind me. I hear the shower start up. I pace around the small bedroom for a couple of minutes, then I go out into the kitchen. I get both of us some water, then return to the bedroom. I still feel antsy, so I take off my shoes and socks, then sit back on the bed. Ten minutes later, I hear the water cut off, and just a few minutes after, she opens the door. She stands in the doorway wearing one of our Flipping Texas t-shirts that looks like it would be big on me. She licks her lips, a sure sign she’s nervous.
“What are you thinking?” The moment I ask the question, I regret it. Nancy can be brutally honest. It’s one of the things I admire the most about her.
“I…” her voice trails off. It takes her a second to gather her thoughts. “I wanted to know if you really want me for me.”
I lean forward and grab her hand, then tug her forward until she’s standing between my legs. I release her hand, then cup her face in both of my hands. Her skin is soft.
“I want to talk about that, but let’s wrap your wrist first.”
She nods and hands me the bandage. As I go through the motions, I start to talk.
“First things first, I want you back on the show, but that’s not all I want.”
“Okay.”
I look up to find her frowning down at me.
“Let me get this out of the way first. I’ve told Grady to offer you the title of executive producer.”
“We both are that now.”
I shake my head. “No. I want you to be the sole executive producer.”
Her eyes widen. “Why?”
“Because, you came up with the idea for the show, Nancy. If it wasn’t for you, we wouldn’t be where we are.”
There’s a long moment of silence as if she’s trying to digest what I just said. “I don’t know what to say.”
I lift my gaze to hers and then drop the next bomb. “Also, I’m taking a pay cut.”
She blinks at me. “What?”
“Listen, you are the show. Oh, I help make it good and let’s face it, I am a sexy mother fucker.”
She snorts and rolls her eyes. My heart turns over. God, this woman. I want her giving me crap for the rest of our lives.
“I want everyone to know, from the At Home Network to the people on the set, and anyone else on this earth: You are the one who makes it all possible. You have more control over the show, and I am absolutely fine with it.”
“You did that? For me?” The disbelief in her voice makes me feel even lower. I never let her know how important she is to me and to the show. I should have. Every day I should have let her know just how important she was to me and to the entire show. It makes me feel even worse thinking about the last few months and how horrible I was. She has no idea just how important she is to me and that’s my fault.
“I would do anything for you, Nancy. That first season, I would have failed. I would have become the laughingstock of the industry if you hadn’t stepped in and lifted me up. Now, it’s my turn. Would I do that for you? Fuck, Nancy, I would burn the whole thing to the ground if that’s what you wanted because you are the most important thing in my life. The money, the celebrity, all of it is useless if you aren’t there by my side.”
“Oh.”
She looks a little stunned, and I can’t fault her for that. I’m stunned too, but since I’m on a roll, I keep going.
“You know, I fell in love with you the day I met you.” I look up at her. “But you knew I had a crush on you. You never tried to use me because of it. A lot of teenage girls would have, but you didn’t.”
“I would never do that.”
I nod. “Yeah, I know. So, that infatuation developed into something more, but I fought it. Every day. And when I was away in college—”
“And getting laid.” Her voice is lighter now, humor filling it.
“Yeah. But you were always there. In the back of my mind. Not that I was using those women as substitutes, more like I held them up in comparison. If they didn’t have a sweet heart like yours, I walked away. Then you came up with the idea of the show.”
“Yeah.”
I secure the bandage, then slip my arms around her waist pulling her close to me. She smells of lavender and happiness. This woman is my heart, and my soul.
“You have no idea just how much I love you, Nancy. Just no idea. That crush turned into something much more. When I started having panic attacks, you were there, being sweet and wonderful, and I fell so hard. It was different this time.”
“But you were mean to me.”
“Yeah, but it was out of protection.” I hold up my hand when she opens her mouth to argue. “I was an asshole, and I’ll happily spend the next decade apologizing for that. I should have never treated you that way.”
She sighs. “Okay, but you haven’t answered me.”
I study her, not dropping my gaze from hers. “I love you, Nancy Howard.”
It’s amazing just how easy it is to say now. I held it close to my chest for so many years. I worried if I ever said it aloud that I would die on the spot. Now, though, I feel more and more sure of the words each time I say them. Tears fill her eyes again. Anxiety hits me square in the chest. Fuck me.
“Nancy?”
She shakes her head and jumps at me. We fall back on the bed as she peppers my face with kisses.
“I love you.” Kiss. “I love you so much.” Kiss. “I never thought you would be mine.” Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.
I stop her by taking her face in my hands. “You love me too?”
Tears are now rolling down her cheeks. “It feels like forever. Then you kept dating the worst women.”
Her lower lip trembles and I feel like an ass. Hurting her had never been my plan. Knowing that I did leaves my heart bleeding. I will have to pay for that for the rest of my life.
“I’m sorry. I had to do something, seriously. Every time we had to work together; I felt my control slipping. I thought if I let you know how I felt, I would lose you.”
She gives me a watery smile. “Well, we’re both dumbasses.”
I smile but it soon turns into a laugh. “Jesus, we are. We wasted so much time.”
She shakes her head. “I think this was perfect timing.”
Then, she leans down to kiss me, keeping her eyes open. My hands slip down her body, cupping her ass. I keep hold of her as I rise off the bed and drop her down, breaking the kiss. She pulls off the oversized shirt and I divest her of her panties. I grab a condom out of my wallet, then toss it on the bedside table. I’m naked faster than I thought humanly possible.
I know I should take my time, but I need to be inside of her. I slip two fingers in her and find her wet, so fucking wet. I roll the condom on, then join her on the bed. I can’t wait, don’t want to, in fact. I grab her by the hips, dragging her off the mattress as I rise to my knees. I thrust into her hard, fast, and all the way to the hilt. We both moan as her inner muscles clamp down on my dick.
I lean down to kiss her. “I’m sorry.”
She shakes her head as she wraps her legs around my waist. “Don’t be sorry. Ever. Not about that.”
I smile at her and start to move within her. I take my time from that point on, trying my best to show her just how much I love her. Each touch, each kiss, every moment I sear into my memory. I want her to understand completely how much I love her. By the time she’s screaming my name, I can no longer hold back. I thrust deep, enjoying the tightness of her body, of the way I feel when we’re connected like this. It doesn’t take me long to push her over that edge.
Moments later, I pull her close, my heart full, and my soul happy. We both fall asleep a short time later, entangled together.
Chapter Thirty
Nancy
We spend three long weeks at Grady’s house. It’s been kind of great since he has a live-in maid and a chef. On the other hand, I think I gained about ten pounds. And even though we enjoyed
it, both of us are happy to be back in Juniper. We only have a month before we have to start doing promos for the new season.
Since our relationship hit the tabloids, it’s been insane. The speculation online about our relationship has always gone back and forth, but for the most part, our fans are thrilled.
My grandmother made two trips to Grady’s house. TWO. She has never come to see me outside of Juniper. Well, she did come see me when I had to pack up my things and leave boarding school in shame. But other than that, she’s never done anything like that. It’s been kind of weird but also kind of nice. She’s trying and I’m trying, and she apparently has a big old crush on Carter Hawthorne. That man could make the oldest, meanest, most horrible woman fall for him. If I didn’t know any better, I would think they were carrying on an affair on the down low. But my grandmother would never do that. Carter, I’m not so sure about. He just keeps saying that there is something to be said about an experienced woman. I try not to think about any of that.
Charges are piling up for Garrett, and not just here, but on both coasts. Both Los Angeles and New York City have investigations ongoing into his behavior over the last few years. I’m not the only woman he has ever stalked, and since the story hit the press, more women have been coming out of the woodwork. He is going to be very busy with the court cases over the next few years.
Speaking of court cases, Reggie Andrews is in police custody. Apparently, he tried to rufie the woman he was wooing. Yeah, he’s not smart. She got away from him before he could do anything, but she’s pressing charges. And apparently, some little birdy told the prosecution about his history. I mean, I’m pretty sure it was Estella because the prosecutor is the daughter of one of her friends. At least, I like to think it was her. It’s nice to know my grandmother wasn’t truly trying to sell me out to a predator.
I’m alone in bed. I woke there all by my lonesome, but I know Travis is somewhere in the house. We arrived back in Juniper late last night and have spent most of the day in bed. I guess I should get my ass up and do something, anything, but it’s hard to even think about that. I want to hang out here for at least a month. I smile, but force myself to get moving. As soon as I do, I instantly feel the sore muscles. It’s not like we haven’t had a lot of sex, but last night and this morning, and—I look at my phone and notice the time—afternoon, was especially over the top.
I move to get out of bed. I’m definitely tender. “Fuck.”
“Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
I look up and find Travis standing at the door of my bedroom. He’s leaning up against the doorjamb, unfortunately he’s dressed again. He’s so pretty. All that dirty blonde hair, chocolate eyes, and those hands. My gaze travels down his body, pausing briefly at the bulge behind his zipper, then down to his feet. He’s got shoes on and I look up at his face again.
“Like what you see?” he asks.
“Yeah, I do. A lot. Also, if you knew me, you would know that I don’t kiss my mother.”
“Hmm, what about me?”
And just like that, my heart ticks up a beat. This man. Every moment I’m with him, I find myself falling even more in love with him.
“I would love to know what you’re thinking right now.”
His deep voice vibrates with humor but also a hint of a concern.
“Why don’t you get dressed and come on out here?”
“Why don’t you get naked and come back to bed?”
His mouth curves as his eyes heat. “Later. Right now, we need to eat. Put some clothes on and make sure you won’t be embarrassed if we get pulled over.”
“You’re taking me out to dinner? Like a date?”
Another twitch of his lips. “Something like that. Don’t dawdle.”
He leaves me alone and for a second, I stare at the space he just occupied. Is there a day that he won’t surprise me? I thought I knew everything about him, but little by little, things start coming out. I’m sure it’s the same for him. We’ve known each other for so long that we thought we knew it all.
News Alert: We did not.
I’m not complaining. Those little surprises, like the way he likes to sleep wrapped around me and the way his voice sounds when he groans my name, those things make me so happy. Especially since they are our own little secrets.
I can do this. Really. I slip out of bed and hurry to get dressed. The sun is about set and it’s cooled off a little, but this time of year it still hovers around eighty degrees even in the dead of night. No matter where we go, it’s going to be hot outside. I step into the bathroom and my eyes go wide. Jesus, I definitely look like I’ve been sexed up. My hair is a mess, my face is flushed, and, hmm, he left a hickey on my neck.
“Quit wasting time, Howard,” Travis calls out.
I smile at myself in the mirror, then start cleaning up and getting dressed. Ten minutes later, I walk into the kitchen. He’s leaning up against the counter and looking down at his phone. God, I love him. Every inch of him, including that aforementioned hands. They should be inducted into some kind of sex hall of fame.
He must sense me because he looks up from his phone. I watch happiness move over his face as he grins at me. I did that. I made him happy just by stepping into the kitchen. It pours off of him, vibrating in the air, reaching out to me. No one has ever made me feel this way, like I counted, like I was first in their thoughts. Okay, Syd did, but this is different. This man…he’s my everything.
Not for the first time, tears burn the backs of my eyes.
“What did I do?”
I shake my head. He steps forward and I take a step back and hold up my hands. If he touches me right now, I just might lose it. Of course, being Travis, he ignores me. I’m in his arms in half a second and he’s rocking me back and forth.
“Whatever I did, I’ll fix it.”
I sigh and hold myself together. “You smiled at me.”
He chuckles. His chest vibrates with the sound against my ear. “I’ll stop smiling at you, then.”
I pull back and look up at him. “No, don’t do that. Before everything that happened, we had been fighting for so long. You didn’t smile at me unless it was for the show, and seeing you do it now, just for me, it makes me feel so good.”
His eyes soften and right there, I feel my heart turn over once again. It’s becoming a regular occurrence these days.
“Me too.” He leans down and presses his mouth against mine, his tongue stealing into my mouth. I need him in a way that scares me, and normally I would be running. Instead, I’m slipping my hands up his chest, crowding his space…and I love it. Unfortunately, he pulls back. “Nope. We are going to take a break. I have something to show you, and I packed us a snack.”
He motions with his hand and I see the insulated bag on the table.
“What did you make?”
“That berry balsamic salad thing you like.”
“You made it?”
He nods. “You kept ordering it and…”
He stops talking and I wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t. He looks away from me as if embarrassed. Normally, I would leave him to it. Just ignore those tender spots, because I’m good at avoidance. It’s the only thing that keeps me from being pulled into my family’s drama. But after what we shared; I am not going to allow that with us anymore.
“What?”
He sighs. “You liked it, so I learned to make it.”
Of all the things I expected, that was not one of them. “You took the time to learn how to make something I liked to eat. Why are you acting weird about it?”
He finally looks at me. “No reason. I mean, I learned last year. I wanted to know everything you liked, and I wanted to give it to you.”
And he’s worried it would bother me?
“Did you stalk me? Like as in a creepy, peeping through my window kind of way?”
“No.”
“Did you break into my house and rifle through my panty drawer? Did you take your favorite pair?”
/> “God, no.”
“Then it isn’t creepy. Why would you think that?”
He sighs and looks away again. “You’ve always been out of my league.”
“That doesn’t make it creepy.” He still isn’t looking at me, so I tap his chest with both of my hands until he looks at me. “Travis, it is possibly one of the sweetest things anyone has done for me.”
His eyebrows climb up. “Yeah?”
I nod and rise up on my tiptoes and brush my mouth over his. “So, let’s go have this dinner you made for us.” As if to prove my point, my stomach growls. We both laugh.
“You got it.”
I back up giving him space, and he grabs the insulated bag. He follows me out of the house, setting the alarm, then locking the door.
“Where are we going?” I ask as he leads us to his truck. Mrs. Peterson waves at us and I wave back.
“We’re going to that piece of land I told you about.”
We talk about nothing important on our drive to wherever he’s taking me. He laughs about things that happened over the season, and we listen to my favorite singer Tim McGraw as Travis drives out of Juniper towards the natural springs. They’re a huge draw for tourists and one of my favorite things about our town. It’s weird to be in this almost desert landscape, which opens into an oasis. He doesn’t take the exit for them though. Instead, he goes to the next exit and I frown. I’m not sure where he’s taking me. He drives down a dirt path until we get to a real estate sign that has Sold on it. He still doesn’t explain as he slips out of the truck. I follow him out his door. Once he puts the tailgate down, he spreads out a blanket on it, then picks me up and sets me down—without asking. He joins me, then digs out our food. All the while my mind is trying to come up with the reason for this venture. He gets our salads ready, which he put in little takeout containers—no idea where he got those—and hands one to me and takes the other for himself.
I want to demand he tell me what’s going on, but I can smell the balsamic dressing and fresh berries, so they win out.
“It’s kind of nice not having that security detail. I mean, they were nice guys, but I’ve always hated having a detail. Especially when I was a kid. Not fun at all.”
Love to Hate You: An Enemies to Lovers, Best Friend's Brother Romantic Comedy (The Fillmores Book 2) Page 26
