by Marta Perry
The truth hit him harder than the stray bull that plowed through the fence last week—Eden would always put the girls’ needs above her own, and the fact it was a sacrifice wouldn’t even occur to her because she wanted them to be happy.
His throat tightened. He’d never known anyone like Eden. Her love for the twins humbled him, and dejection settled between his shoulders. Eden was a temporary blessing.
He wished things were different. Wished he and the girls could have her forever.
“Do you mind if my mom comes over tomorrow?” Eden asked.
He pulled himself together quickly. “That’s fine.”
“She enjoys Harper and Ivy. I think she needs a break from all the one-on-one with my dad.”
“If she’s coming, tell Bill he’s welcome to ride out with me if he’d like.” Checking the cattle and tooling around the ranch with Eden’s dad would take his mind off his problems.
“Daddy, Daddy!” Harper’s cheeks were pink and her eyes sparkled as she ran to him with her palms cupped together. Ivy followed behind with a bouquet of wildflowers clenched in her hand.
“What?” He forced himself to grin.
“I found a caterpillar!”
Ivy poked Harper’s hands. “Show him.”
She cautiously opened her hands, and a fuzzy pale yellow caterpillar inched up her fingers. She giggled. “It tickles.”
Ivy tentatively petted it. “It’s soft. Not as soft as Cutie, though.”
“Can I keep it?” Her eyes shined and her toothy smile pleaded.
“I don’t think so.” Ryder tried to let her down gently. “Kittens eat caterpillars.”
Her face fell, but she nodded. “I don’t want him to get eaten.”
“You can play with him for a while outside, though, okay?”
“Okay.” She wrangled it back onto her palm and cupped her other hand over it again. “Come on, Ivy! Let’s make a house out of sticks for him.”
Ivy thrust the flowers to Eden. “These are for you, Auntie Eden.”
Ryder noted the slight dampness in Eden’s eyes and her generous hug for Ivy.
“Thank you,” Eden said. “They’re beautiful. You’re so thoughtful.”
Ivy beamed. Then she pivoted and ran to catch up to Harper.
“I guess I was wrong.” Eden bent her head to sniff the blue, yellow and white blooms. “They weren’t picking them for their mommy.”
Eden was more of a mommy to the girls than Lily had ever been.
And it wasn’t fair of him to want her to play the part without offering her all she deserved.
Maybe she was right. Nothing could come of their kiss. Even if it had rocked his world and tempted him to offer her everything.
* * *
Eden needed to talk to Gabby. Now.
She waited on the porch of the house Dylan and Gabby had moved into after recently getting married. It was a large home with several acres of land and a river snaking around the back of the property.
“Eden? What are you doing here?” Gabby held Phoebe on her hip as she let Eden inside. Phoebe instantly squirmed with both arms held out to Eden. “Looks like someone misses you.”
Eden laughed and took Phoebe. “How’s my Phoebe-kins? You get to spend the morning with me and the girls tomorrow.”
The child wriggled to be let down. Eden held her hand as they went into the living room. Phoebe instantly toddled over to the colorful plastic blocks on the floor, while Gabby took a seat on the tan sectional. Gabby’s dark hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore black leggings with a blousy red T-shirt.
Eden collapsed on the other end of the sectional.
“What. Is. Going. On?” Gabby asked. “Something’s wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong.” Eden shook her head. “I’m just confused. I need help sorting out my thoughts.”
Her friend brightened. “Tell me everything.”
Oh, boy. She probably should have thought this through before showing up. But she and Gabby had shared a lot these past years.
“Ryder’s ex-wife is coming to town on Friday.”
“Lily Haviland? Here?” She let out a small squeal. “Just think. We might get to see her. Remember when we went to see The Wrong Kind of Right? She was amazing in it. I wish they made more rom-coms like that.”
Eden was taken aback. She thought of Lily less as a movie star and more as Ryder’s ex-wife at this point. Not long ago, her own reaction would have been similar to Gabby’s. So much had changed since Ryder moved here.
“She was great in that movie.” Eden tried to figure out where to start. “This isn’t about Lily, though.”
“Oh?” Gabby tilted her head. “What is it about?”
Ryder kissed me. And I love him. But we can’t be together. He doesn’t want to get married. Ever. And even if he did, it wouldn’t be fair to the twins. They want their mom and dad together, and can you blame them?
“It’s kind of hard…” Eden smoothed the edge of her shirt. “It’s going to sound dumb.”
“Seriously?” Gabby gave her the deadpan stare. “If it’s bothering you, it’s not dumb.”
“I care about the girls. They’re so full of life.” She wasn’t sure how to put in words what she was feeling.
“They are adorable. Phoebe loves them, too. They’re like her big sisters.”
She thought back to when she’d first asked Gabby if it would be okay for her to babysit all three girls. Her friend had agreed instantly, claiming they’d be like siblings for Phoebe. Gabby had such a big heart.
“They’re wound up about Lily coming. Super excited, but nervous, too.”
“Oh, poor things. I’m sure it must be hard on them not having her around.”
“Yeah, it is. Ivy wants them to get back together.”
“Understandable.”
“Ryder claims it will never happen.”
“Again, understandable.”
“He also claims he’ll never get remarried.”
“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” Gabby’s self-satisfied grin made Eden’s arm hair stand on end. She ran her palms over her arms to ease the sensation.
“I want him to be happy. I want the girls to be happy.” Her neck felt warm. “I’m confused.”
“Are you attracted to him?” Gabby leaned in. “I know you weren’t before…”
“Yes.” She stared at the ceiling. “I’m attracted to him. I’ve always been attracted to him. I just didn’t like him before.”
“Oh.” The word lilted upward in hope.
“No. It’s wrong. I can’t do that to the girls.”
“The girls?” Gabby pulled a face. “What about Ryder? What about you?”
Her heart throbbed at the thought of him. His honesty. His work ethic. His patience. His generosity.
“Eden, maybe this is your chance. How many times over the years did you say you wanted to get married and have a family and live on a ranch and have Christmases in your childhood home? Ryder could offer you all of those things.”
Yes, he could. Her lungs squeezed more than she thought possible.
Gabby continued. “But it wouldn’t be fair to him if you wanted him only for what he could give you.”
She agreed.
“Take away the ranch—your family’s ranch—and the twins. Put Ryder all by himself with none of the extras. Would you be interested in him?” Gabby’s gaze seared her.
Would she still love Ryder without the girls or the ranch?
Yes. A thousand times over.
But could he ever love her? Enough to rethink his marriage stance?
She didn’t know.
And until she did, she had to put these feelings into cold storage. Because her love for Ryder was real, but her love for the girls was, too. And regardless of what was growing
between her and Ryder, she couldn’t act on it. The twins needed their real mommy now.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“You’re a fast learner, Ivy.” Thursday afternoon, Eden’s mom planted a kiss on the girl’s head, then held out the tissue-paper flower they’d made. “Now you can have bouquets of flowers anytime you want.”
“I’m going to make another one.” Ivy raced over to the plastic bag Mom had brought full of assorted colors of tissue paper and other craft items.
Eden locked eyes with her mom, and they both chuckled. Her parents had shown up bright and early at Ryder’s, and while Dad was spending the day trotting around the ranch with him, Mom was hanging out with Eden and the twins. Phoebe had been here earlier. Gabby picked her up after lunch and stayed for about an hour before taking off.
Right now Eden could use Mom’s moral support. She had a bad feeling that after Lily arrived tomorrow, everything would be different. Between her and Ryder, at least.
One more day… She could enjoy life the way it was for one more day.
Harper carried Dandy over to Mom. “She wants to sit on your lap.”
“My lap’s plenty big enough for both of you.” Mom’s lips twitched in amusement.
Harper didn’t need to be told twice. She climbed up and rested the back of her head against Mom’s chest, trying to hold the squirming kitten.
“It’s okay if Dandy wants to get down,” Mom said. “You and I can still snuggle.”
Harper released the kitten, and Dandy made a clean getaway. The fact the girls liked her mother made Eden happy not just for their sakes, but for Mom’s, too. She was a wonderful grandma. She’d spent countless hours with Noah over the years. They had a special bond.
“I’m so happy I could come spend the day with you two.” Mom stroked Harper’s hair. “Grandpa Bill doesn’t always want to do crafts and have tea parties.”
Ivy came up to Eden with pink tissue paper in one hand and purple in the other. “What color should I make?”
“How about both?”
“At the same time?” The possibility made her mouth form an O.
“Yes. If we alternate the colors before folding, the flower will have pink and purple petals.” Eden patted the chair next to her, and they spread out the first layer of pink tissue paper, then topped it with purple and continued alternating until finishing. Ivy folded it the way Eden’s mom showed her earlier. “Why don’t you make a few more to give to your mother tomorrow?”
“She’ll like that.” Ivy’s blue eyes glimmered like sunshine on a lake. “Grandma Page, our mommy is coming tomorrow.”
“Yes, you’ve mentioned it a time or two.” Mom smiled at her. “I think it’s wonderful you’re taking the time to make special things for her.”
Harper twisted her neck to stare up at Mom. “I’m going to show her how I can ride a pony.”
“Patches isn’t a pony,” Ivy muttered.
Harper glared at her sister until she returned her attention to making the flowers. “Daddy said I can wear my new shiny shirt. It’s purple and white. It’s fancy.”
“We made lots of presents for her.” Ivy abandoned the tissue paper and raced to the books Eden had finished last night. The girls had helped select the pictures, projects and worksheets to put in each binder. They’d each made a collage of their names on craft paper, and Eden had inserted them into the clear protectors of the binder covers.
“Want to see?” Harper climbed off Mom’s lap. “Come on.”
The flowerpots and other gifts were in the sunroom with the door closed so the kittens wouldn’t destroy them.
“These are works of art.” Mom inspected each project lined up on the coffee table and asked questions as she did. The twins were happy to answer her. Sunlight filled the room, and Eden had flashbacks of her and Mia lounging in there, reading or giggling about something from school. This room would always hold good memories.
“Daddy said she’ll have to leave the flowerpots here, but we can ship everything else to her if it won’t fit on the plane.” Harper had one hand on her hip and gestured to the projects with her other hand.
“Mommy will find a way to take the flowerpots home.” Ivy stood with her feet together and chin high.
Eden exchanged a glance with Mom. She should have thought that particular gift through better. She’d forgotten about the plane.
“I’m sure she’ll want to take them with her,” Mom said. “But the airline might not let her.”
“We can wrap them in plastic bags, right Harper?” Ivy sounded confident.
Harper shrugged.
“She’ll take them,” the girl declared again.
“Your mother will have to leave them here, Ivy,” Eden said gently. “But you can tell her you’ll think about her every time you look at the flowers.”
Ivy’s cheeks grew splotchy and her eyes filled with tears, but she held herself together.
“Oh, would you look at that?” Eden pretended to check her phone. “Almost four o’clock. It’s about time for your favorite cartoon. Why don’t you two wash your hands and get comfy on the couch? Mom and I will make you a snack.”
“Okay!” They raced out of the room.
“Ivy’s a little wound up, huh?” Mom asked.
“Yeah. I’ve talked to her and tried to be as tender as I can, but I have a bad feeling she’s going to be disappointed with this visit. Her expectations are so high.”
“Poor thing.”
“Harper’s on edge, too. She’s more realistic, but…both girls could use a long stretch of time with their mother. I’m glad Lily is coming.” She was glad for the girls’ sake, but for her own? She wouldn’t think about it.
“I am, too.” Mom led the way out of the room, and Eden closed the doors. “They’re both so sweet—I want them to be happy.”
“Same here. I’m doing my best.” Eden frowned. “I love them. It’s going to be hard when summer ends.”
“It’s not as if you won’t ever see them again.” They crossed the hall and headed to the kitchen.
“I know, but it won’t be the same.” Eden knew that firsthand. She’d babysat for Noah until he was almost four years old, and she still spent time with him, but it wasn’t as intimate as when they’d spent every day together.
“You’ll have other things to focus on. Have you registered for your classes yet?”
“I started to, but one of the classes is full.” Eden rummaged through the pantry for juice boxes and pretzels. “I need to talk to an adviser about either getting on a waitlist or switching classes.”
“Are you excited?” Mom opened the fridge and found a bag of clementines. She peeled two of them while Eden filled two small bowls with pretzels.
“I will be.” She was trying to help the twins prepare for this visit first. “Other things have been distracting me, but I’m sure I’ll get more excited as fall approaches.”
Mom cast her a sly glance. “I like the things that have been distracting you.”
Her and her big mouth.
“Ryder is a wonderful man,” Mom said. “Babysitting the girls here has been good for you.”
Her mom knew her too well.
“I agree.” Eden gave her mom a pointed stare. “But that’s all it is. Babysitting.”
“I can’t help but see God’s hand in this. Your dad and I wrestled with selling this place, and when we found out Ryder wanted it, we knew it was an answer to our prayer. It’s practically in our family, since Mason is his brother. And buying the RV helped get the restlessness out of your father. He still gets antsy, though. It was nice of Ryder to invite him over today. Your dad misses ranching.”
“I’m sure Ryder appreciates Dad helping out.”
“Your dad appreciates being included. God knew Ryder and the girls needed you, too.”
As much as she’d like to think
God had a master plan for her involving Ryder and the girls, her gut told her otherwise.
“Don’t get your hopes up, Mom.”
“What do you mean?”
Eden took a few steps backward to check on the girls. They’d turned on the television and were sitting together on the couch. “I mean, I can see where you’re going with this. It’s not going to happen. Ryder went through a lot with his divorce and doesn’t want a commitment again. And the girls have a lot of unresolved issues concerning their mother.”
Mom frowned. “I didn’t realize.” Then she brightened. “God can heal any wound. Anything is possible.”
Anything was possible, but probable? Not likely.
The doorbell rang. Eden almost jumped. “I’ll be right back.”
She loped to the hall and opened the front door.
Lily Haviland stood in front of her.
Long waves of silky dark brown hair cascaded over her shoulders. She wore a stylish red blouse, pencil-thin dark jeans that ended at her ankle and red high heels. Her makeup accentuated her piercing blue eyes, the same shade as the twins’.
“Oh, hi,” Eden stammered. “We weren’t expecting you until tomorrow. Come in.”
“I had a break in my schedule and figured I’d get a jump start.”
Only then did Eden realize Lily wasn’t alone. A full-figured woman in her early thirties stood behind her. Eden ushered them inside and introduced herself.
“Nanny Eden.” Lily smiled, revealing perfect white teeth. “The girls have been raving about you.” She turned to the other woman. “This is my assistant, Mandy Drake.”
Mandy wore black pants and a white shirt and carried a large black tote. Earbuds were in her ears, and she was furiously typing something into her phone. Then she finished and offered her hand. Eden shook it, unsure of what to make of Mandy’s no-nonsense persona.
“This is my mom, Joanna Page.” Eden flourished her hand toward her mother.
“Oh, my, it’s nice to meet you.” Mom wiped her hands on a kitchen towel as she stepped forward. “We loved Courtroom Crimes. We watched every episode, didn’t we, Eden?”
Eden nodded, suddenly embarrassed. The fact she was standing in front of one of her favorite movie stars and babysitting the woman’s children hit her in an odd way. She didn’t feel in awe of Lily anymore. No, it was more of a feeling of insignificance, like who was she to harbor dreams of forever with this woman’s ex-husband and daughters? What a joke.
