Chase cocked his head. “Did Butch actually say Clint was the one who paid him to sabotage the ranch?”
“He didn’t need to,” Nash retorted. “I saw it written all over Butch’s face. A while back, Butch told me that his wife has cancer and he’d been struggling to pay for her treatments.”
“Why would Butch take all the blame, though?” Shep asked with an arched brow. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“Maybe that was part of the deal,” Nash offered. “If caught, Butch would go to jail, as long as Harrison kept paying for his wife’s treatments.”
Always the devil’s advocate, Chase offered, “This is only a theory. Right now, you’ve got no proof that Clint has any involvement in this. What if you’re wrong?”
Nash leaned in and looked at Chase and Shep. “What does your gut tell you? Would Butch really do this to a family he’s been loyal to since we were children? The only reason to do this is for money for his wife’s treatment. To save her. Who has money and the animosity toward our family to want to shut us down for good? And most of all, who wants Blackshaw land bad enough to make us crumble?”
Shep frowned. “Fuck if that doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
Nash took off his hat, dropping it into his lap, and leaned his head back against the house. “I’ve been spending weeks trying to smooth this over with Harrison for Megan. It’s like a constant uphill battle. He’s a fucking bastard and continually reminds me of it.”
A long pause. Then, Chase asked, “Will you tell Megan about your suspicions?”
Nash wished he could erase this day entirely and start again fresh. “I planned to this morning. I went to confront Harrison earlier and Megan happened to be there. She didn’t want to hear any of it and is only thinking of the baby. She wants to create a world where everyone in it is happy, but it’s fictional. Her father is a ruthless bastard. And I don’t know how to get her to see that.”
Shep studied Nash intently. “Maybe if you told her what he did, she’d see that for herself.”
“Yeah, sure,” Nash grumbled, already having come to that same conclusion this morning. That was until he had seen the hopelessness in Megan’s expression, heard the desperation in her voice, and realized she planned to take her second-best shot at happiness. “And then what happens?” he asked his brothers seriously. “She’d admit to herself how fucking terrible her father is and her whole world would fall apart around her. I don’t want to hurt her.”
From his spot on the porch, Chase sighed. “It’s a tough situation.”
“It’s an impossible situation.” Nash tapped the back of his head against the house twice, wishing he had some idea on how to fix all this. “I don’t know how to make this right for her.” And that was the crux of the problem. “He tried to fucking ruin us. His greed pushed Butch to act desperately and endangered lives. That’s not something I can exactly let go of and ignore.”
Another pause.
“But he didn’t ruin us,” Shep said softly.
Nash arched a brow at Shep, who stated, “Yeah, I agree with you, there is a damn good chance he put this plan into motion. And if that’s true, he should be held responsible.” Shep paused, cocking his head. “But we need to also be aware that no matter how many times Clint has tried to sink Dad’s company, we’ve always bounced back.”
Nash snorted. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
“Not better, but it’s a truth you can’t ignore.” Shep hesitated, his eyes squinting. “Dad would not have wanted this.”
The mention of their father tightened Nash’s chest. “Of course, Dad wouldn’t have wanted this.”
“That’s not what he means,” said Chase, obviously understanding. “He means that Dad wouldn’t want you to fight this battle for him. Especially at the cost of your happiness.”
Nash leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Who is left to fight it? You both have your own shit going on.” Though the second the words left his mouth, he realized again he couldn’t think that way anymore. “This man is going to be the grandfather of my child. On one hand, I want him nowhere near our family and my kid. On the other hand, not to have him in our life will destroy Megan. The man she knows loves her. The memories of her father are filled with happiness. To steal that away from her seems wrong.” He ran his hands against his face again. “So, in the end, there’s a choice here. Her happiness. Or mine.”
Shep frowned. “I do not envy the position you’re in.”
Nash stared up at the ceiling fans above them on the porch, cutting through the heat of the day. He felt like the entire world pressed against him. “She said she loved me.” And that had been the reason he had gotten back into his car. Those words had blinded him, making the world somersault around him. All the anger he felt vanished under the power of those words. And suddenly all the reasons that drove him to that house didn’t matter anymore.
Only Megan mattered. Her pain mattered. Her happiness mattered. He couldn’t see past that.
Which made him question why he pushed so hard against Clint. For what, his pride? The more Nash thought about the situation, the more he felt responsible. Had he driven Clint to this? If Nash had been like Shep or Chase and kept his mouth shut, maybe Clint wouldn’t have approached Butch to ensure he won.
The worst part of all was that Megan had paid the price.
The silence around him was so heavy, he glanced back to his brothers. He gave an unamused laugh at their shock, realizing what he’d said earlier had surprised them. “Is it so unbelievable that Megan loves me?” he asked.
“Not unbelievable,” Shep stated, shoving his hands into his pockets. “But it’s about time one of you declared something.”
Fuck, that only made him feel worse. Nash should have said he loved her first.
A long, loaded silence passed while Nash shut his eyes and pressed his head back against the house.
Until Chase broke the silence again. “So, what do we do, then? Clint just gets off?”
Of course, that was the logical assumption. Nash shook his head, reopening his eyes. “There’s no fucking way that’s going to happen. I could tell Darryl my suspicions and have Clint investigated. They could push Butch, and see if he breaks, but we know if his wife is involved, he won’t, not if he’s gone this far to help her. Maybe Darryl finds a money trail, but maybe he doesn’t, or maybe Clint finds a way to explain why he’s helping Butch’s wife. Christ, maybe I’m even wrong here about Harrison’s involvement. So then not only will Megan get dragged alongside all this, so will Ma and Megan’s mother.”
Shep nodded. “We don’t want to bring this down on Ma.”
“Which is exactly what I’m sitting with now,” Nash said, frustrated. “Sure, we can drag Clint through the dirt like he deserves. But who will that hurt more: Clint or Megan, Ma, and Loretta?”
Shep studied Nash for a long moment then gave a dry laugh.
Nash glared. “You find this is funny, brother?”
“Funny?” Shep snorted and stepped forward. “Nothing about any of is funny.” He gave Nash a firm look and cupped his uninjured shoulder. “Though what amuses me is that you think you don’t know the answer to this when you obviously do.” He backed away and added, “You’ve got this handled, so go handle it. You don’t need a damn thing from us.”
Chase rose from his seat on the porch steps. “Yup, totally agree; you’ve got this covered.”
Without another look, his brothers trotted down the steps, moving toward their trucks like all this was settled.
It wasn’t. Not even close.
“That’s all I’m getting from you two?” Nash called. “When I don’t want your advice, you don’t shut up. When I actually want your advice, you give me jack shit!”
“You don’t need anything from us.” Shep waved.
Nash scoffed, rocking back on the chair. Now, he needed to figure out what they knew, and he didn’t.
* * *
Come to Shep’s place when you’
re ready.
Nash’s text had come the moment Megan finally arrived at Kinky Spurs to start her workday. She only managed a few hours before calling it quits. Her head wasn’t in the game. Her emotions felt raw. She was in no real state to talk to people, so she called another bartender to fill her place and drove out to the mountains, taking in the view, getting her emotions under control. No one at Kinky Spurs needed to see her be such a mess.
All she kept thinking about was all the things she couldn’t change, no matter how much she wanted to. Yeah, she knew her dad was ruthless and wrong most of the time when it came to business. That’s why she wasn’t his business partner, she was his daughter. And she loved him. To her, he was good and loving, and her childhood was full of happy memories. She wanted her child to know that man. The man who loved his family.
So, there it was. The realization that she couldn’t have that big happy family. She was finally okay with that too, because she wasn’t blind to the man her father was to other people and the horrible things he did. Hell, maybe somewhere along the line she had separated the man and the businessman to still be able to love him.
Truth was, her love wasn’t conditional. When someone had her love, they had it forever. But she also knew that continuing to try and force Nash and her dad together was going to hurt her and the baby, and that was where she drew a line.
A line that, once they crossed it, they couldn’t uncross. She’d still love them both—that’s just how her heart worked—but she’d protect herself, and as history had shown her, she was very good at that. It took Nash years to get close. And it took something bigger than herself to give that extra push.
This was her new reality. Nash wouldn’t come to family dinners at her parents’. Megan would make time, so their child could see his or her grandfather. And that’s the way they’d move forward now.
All of that was okay. Because it had to be.
Feeling strong in her choices, after she left the mountains, she drove across town to Emma and Shep’s place. As she slowly drove up the driveway, she was sure her eyes were betraying her. She quickly parked her car next to Nash’s truck and was out a second later. Staring at the sand ring straight ahead, she carefully moved toward Shep, who was sitting on the rocking chair on the porch. “Am I seeing this right?” she asked.
“Unbelievable, right?” Shep mused.
“Yeah, no kidding,” Megan breathed.
Emma was riding Bentley, taking him on a slow trot around the ring. The once-labeled devil horse—who admittedly had almost killed Emma when he’d come to the ranch after a hard life—was being a perfect gentleman. Nash stood by close to her; his mouth was moving, but Megan couldn’t hear what he was telling Emma.
“Wow.” Megan climbed the steps and then sat in the rocking chair next to Shep. “Never thought I’d see the day.”
“You and me both.” Shep smiled before taking a sip of his beer, the condensation dripping along the bottle.
Megan licked her lips.
Shep burst out laughing. “Thirsty?”
“I miss beer.” She stared at the bottle, dreamily. “A lot.”
“I can only imagine how hard that must be.” He began to rise. “Want some lemonade?”
Now it was her turn to laugh. “It’s a little sad I’m so predictable, isn’t it?”
“Can’t help what you crave,” Shep said before vanishing to fetch her drink.
Megan focused back on Nash in the ring. He moved in the center now, arms crossed, keeping a close eye on Emma trotting around. God, he was so sexy out there. Fully in control. As for Emma, for a city girl, she had become a great rider. Confident. Bentley on the other hand was a horse Megan barely recognized. So good and calm. Nash surely had a gift.
When the front screen door opened again, Shep returned carrying Megan’s drink. “Thanks.” She smiled and took a quick sip, relishing the sour taste. “So, what made Nash suddenly decide to let Emma ride Bentley?”
Shep returned to his seat, reaching for his beer. “Not sure exactly what made him decide, but I do know that Ma was talking to him about starting up his own training facility.”
“Oh,” Megan said, surprised. Though after a moment, she realized she shouldn’t have been. “You know what, he’d be really good at that. Look what he’s done with Bentley.”
Shep gave a firm nod. “Ma’s words exactly.” He studied his brother in the sand ring, sticking close to Emma. “Seems like he’s considering it enough he knew he needed to pass on Bentley, so he could move on.” Shep glanced sideways at Megan, gave her a knowing look. “It’s long overdue, really. Bentley’s been good for a month now. Nash has been overly cautious.”
Megan snorted. “Considering this horse was nuts when Emma got him, I don’t think that’s such a bad thing.”
“You’re probably right,” Shep said, tipping his beer bottle at her.
Megan slid her gaze back to Nash. His confidence with horses was amazing to watch. His steadiness, sureness . . . she liked this side of him. Dependable. She felt safe with this part of him. Actually, she felt safe with all of him.
“I heard about this morning,” Shep said, drawing Megan’s attention to him.
She took a long sip of her drink to gather all the emotions suddenly swelling in her throat. “It’s okay,” she said after she swallowed. “Sometimes things don’t work out, no matter how much you try.”
Shep’s mouth pinched. “You’re okay with that? Keeping your life with Nash and your life with your father separate?”
The love of the Blackshaw family was something she’d not been aware of when she’d been growing up. Maybe that was because she didn’t have any brothers or sisters. It became pretty obvious that Shep wasn’t prying or checking up on his brother, he was asking her. Checking in on her. Tears welled in her eyes. “Is this the big brother talking?” she asked.
Shep gave a firm nod. “Something like that.”
Megan’s gaze fell to Nash again. There were things about Nash that she used to crush on hard as a teenager. His loyalty to his family was one of them. He did so much for those around him. He trained the untrainable horse for Emma. All to see her smiling like she did now. The cat and kittens were doing well, all because he took them in without question. He was a good man. “Yeah, I’m okay with that,” she said, turning back to Shep with a smile. “Nash is trying really hard to do the right thing for me. I understand why he hates my father. In his position, I’m sure I would too. I’ve accepted this. It’s time for us all to move on.”
Shep considered her, then said, “That must have been a hard decision to come to.”
She nodded. “Hard. Yes. But necessary.” She sipped her drink again to pause the conversation, needing a moment to get her head together. “I want it all to stop, you know?”
“Yeah,” Shep agreed gently. “I know.” He took a few sips of his beer then said, surprising her, “I hope you know, Megan, how good you are for Nash, and how happy we, as a family, are that you’re with him.”
She paused, narrowing her eyes. “Are you trying to make me cry, Shep Blackshaw?”
He barked a laugh. “No, I wouldn’t dare make a pregnant woman cry. Emma would have my head.” His smile faded away while he rocked in the rocking chair. “All I’m saying is that it’s not any secret that Nash has struggled since the injury, but you’ve changed that. He’s considering a new career, looking for purpose in his life.” He glanced at Nash with brotherly affection then back at her with soft eyes. “You give Nash roots. You make him man up. He needs you, maybe more than he tells you.”
At that, she cocked her head. “Does Nash really need anything?”
Shep hesitated and studied her. Long and Hard. “Yes, Megan, he needs you desperately.” Leaning forward, closer to Megan, his expression turned serious. “You’ve pulled Nash out of a very dark place and given him something to live for again. All of that happiness is because of you and the baby. Nash might not say it enough, because he has issues with sharing how he feels—and he
ll, he’d probably knock me on my ass if he knew I said it to you now—but you give Nash a reason to breathe.”
Shep’s words hit her with such emotion she could barely breathe. “You’re giving me a lot of credit.”
“It’s credit you deserve,” Shep stated, like he knew something she didn’t. “I’ll never forget what you’ve done for Nash, Megan. Not ever.”
Not even thinking about it, she was out of her chair and throwing her arms around Shep. Tight. He seemed surprised at first but then gave her a warm hug back. “Thank you for that,” she barely managed.
When she returned to her chair, Emma called, “Guys. Look at meeeeeeee.”
Megan spun in her seat. Emma cantered around the ring, a huge smile on her face. “Is she crying?”
“Looks like it,” Shep said.
“Well, thank God for that,” Megan quipped. “It’s about damn time someone else comes out with the waterworks.”
Shep laughed at Megan, then called to Emma, “Looking incredible, beautiful.”
Megan’s attention drifted off them when her gaze connected with Nash’s. And held. It felt like so much passed between them without saying anything at all. Nash must’ve not realized Megan had arrived. Which made sense, considering he was probably too focused on Emma’s safety. But it was Nash’s eyes that made the world fade away for this one moment. The rawness in his expression, so full of emotion.
“Now, do you believe me that he desperately needs you?” Shep asked gently.
She smiled. “Yeah, I believe you.”
* * *
Minutes had turned into hours as Emma insisted on cooking Nash dinner as a thank-you for training Bentley. How could he refuse her? Well, he almost did, wanting time alone with Megan, until Shep glared at him. Then he shut his trap. At least Megan kept touching him throughout dinner. She’d kissed him hello. And kept reaching out, seeming to need him close. Somehow as the hour - and - a - half - long dinner went on, he’d forgotten how badly they needed to talk, and he’d begun enjoying himself. Which, of course, only made him feel worse about her father. Nash knew without a doubt he needed his family in his life. They made his head right when things went wrong. Megan needed her family too.
Hard-Riding Cowboy (Kinky Spurs #3) Page 19
