She sipped on her coffee and took a deep breath.
“Then you found me, saved my life and I fell for you, Garrett, hard. When you told me that we were destined to be mates, it all sounded so romantic, so perfect. Mated for life!”
She got up and stood in front of the fire, her heart was aching, but he had a right to know how she truly felt.
“Then I overheard Roisin saying how happy she was that you had found me and that she never thought you would be happy again after losing Kali. She said that you never get over that bond, even when it’s severed, you just have to learn to live with it.”
She turned back to him and he was already on his feet.
“I hate that you are still in pain and I hate that I won’t be able to erase it, Garrett. I also hate that I am so needy that I will never be content not being number one in your life, but I also understand the bond between you and her, because I feel it for you.”
“Indi, honey, you are my mate, you will always be number one in my life, as I will in yours. Losing Kali was the most pain I have ever felt in my life and I wish with everything in me that she was still here, but she is not.”
“I can’t be second best, Garrett, not again.”
“You never will be, I promise you.”
“She was your mate first; I can’t compete with that.”
He turned her around to face him as realization dawned on him.
“No, India. She wasn’t my mate, sweetheart, Kali was my daughter.”
CHAPTER FIVE
India
Kick a wolf when he is down, India, way to go!
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know... when Roisin said…I thought... Oh hell! What happened to her, Garrett?”
He walked over to the window and for the longest time she didn’t know if he would tell his story or not but finally, he said,
“We were very young and Gabby and I had hooked up a ton of times before, but when she told me she was pregnant, I was scared shitless. We liked each other, but we didn’t have a real connection. Despite that, we were going to try and work things out so that we could raise the baby together. Our daughter was born a few months later and I fell hopelessly in love for the first time in my life. She was the cutest, sweetest baby you could ever imagine, and I adored her.”
“What happened?” she asked softly.
“Kali was about six months old when Gabby fell for a wolf called Ricky Edwards who was traveling through town and came to stay in the compound for a few days, it was instant, everyone saw it and I knew she was going to leave with him. I was sad but not heartbroken and I wanted her to leave Kali with me, but she refused, she took our daughter and left. I threatened to take her by force, pack law still favors the father, but Seann won’t enforce that as his father would have done and I didn’t really have the heart to either. I never saw her again and a few months after they left, Ricky sent a message that there had been an accident and both Kali and Gabby had been killed. I can’t even begin to describe my despair.”
“Oh, Garrett, I can’t even imagine what you must have gone through, I am so sorry.”
She went into his arms and held him, she felt awful for resurrecting his pain,
“She would have been six years old now.” He smiled, “She had this soft, pale blonde hair like her mother, but she had my eyes.”
India was wretched, her petty jealousy for a phantom mate had caused Garrett unimaginable pain. She needed to get her shit together and deal with her feelings of inadequacy before someone else suffered on her behalf. She needed to talk to her father when they got back to the compound, this feeling of second-best had started with him and her Mom.
“I’m going to go for a run, lock the door until I get back,” Garrett said as he stripped off and disappeared through the door.
India would have liked to have gone with him, but she knew he needed this time on his own to heal the gaping wound she had torn open.
She cleaned up the kitchen and put some wood on the fire and selected a book from the shelves on the wall to pass the time. After reading the same page over and over without taking in any of the words before giving up and tossing it on the bed. In the distance, a mournful howl pierced the silence and her wolf became restless as she recognized her mate was in pain.
Needing to do something, she took some steaks out of the refrigerator and made a marinade for them. Chopping onions and crushing garlic had a soothing effect on her and she added some herbs and Worcestershire sauce and lemon juice and sealed them in a plastic container back in the refrigerator. Imogen was the cook in the family, but they wouldn’t starve. She fumbled with the controls on the stove until she got the oven lit and made a pack of ready to bake chocolate chip cookies. She put the tray on top to cool while she made some hot chocolate, comfort food.
She heard a noise outside and went to the window in time to see the huge pale brown wolf change and Garrett strode towards the door. She unlocked it and let him in; his arms went around her and he held her tightly. His skin was cold to the touch and she pulled him toward the fire and they lay on the rug in silence. The haunted look was gone, he had found a semblance of peace again.
“Garrett, I am so sorry,” she said again as he stroked her hair.
“Never apologize to me for speaking the truth, India, no matter how much it hurts. I have known from the beginning you have some insecurities and I should have told you about Kali sooner. I thought to bury my memories of her would make it hurt less but the opposite is actually true. I need to keep her memory alive.”
“Do you have a photograph?” she asked. He reached for his jeans and took out his wallet. There were three of his little girl; one as a newborn, and two of her in her father’s arms at a few months old. She was smiling and happy.
“She’s beautiful, Garrett,” she said.
He pulled her back down onto the soft rug and they lay in each other’s arms watching the crackling sparks soar high and die as the next batch took their place.
“I never thought I would ever put myself through that pain again, but I want to have babies with you, India. I know you are still so young so we can wait a while if you want.”
“It’s possibly already too late.” She grinned pulling the tank top over her head and shimmied out of her shorts. “But let’s make sure!”
She squealed as he rolled her beneath him and his teeth grazed the mark on her neck. A delicious hot shiver ran down her spine and she nipped him back knowing she was about to find out something new about wolf mating, how could biting be such a damn turn on.
He looked so peaceful she didn’t have the heart to wake him and covered his sleeping form with a blanket while she showered. She could see his faded teeth marks all over her body and just the memory had her trembling. The bites didn’t hurt, just a nip, but the sensations they caused were mind-blowing. She rubbed a hand across her tummy and knew now what her sister meant when she said she couldn’t wait to have Seann’s baby. She never imagined she would be a young mother, but wolves were different in every way. She hoped she would get pregnant soon, Garrett deserved every little piece of happiness she could bestow on him.
She dried off and put on clean shorts and a t-shirt and went back to the kitchen to start dinner, she was starving again.
Garrett was still fast asleep, and she put another log on the fire and put the marinated steaks under the grill. She chopped veggies for a salad and cut some potatoes for French fries, then added them to the hot oil in the pan.
The smell woke him and he sat up, his hair tousled and a sexy smile on his face. She almost abandoned dinner for another tussle in front of the fire, but her hunger won out and she turned back to the stove with regret.
His laughter carried through from the bathroom as she heard the shower turn on, she was beginning to wonder if he could read her dirty mind. Her body tingled as she thought about the things she would like to do with him and her breath caught in her throat that she would get to do this for the rest of her life, Garrett belonged to her, her
wolf was crowing with glee.
“This is perfect, isn’t it?” he said stroking her arm.
They were laying on a bed of pillows on the porch with the fleecy afghan on top of them and she was content looking up at the twinkling stars with Garrett’s arms around her.
“Tell me about your life growing up, Indi.”
She smiled at the nickname. Imogen was the only other person who shortened her name.
“Not much to tell. Dad’s an accountant, Mom worked at the local library and Imogen and I went to the local school. My sister has always been my best friend and our parents were good to us, but they left us in a mess when they were in that horrible crash and we presumed them both dead. On top of our grief, there was no life insurance and the home we grew up in was heavily mortgaged, so it had to go. I was eighteen and Imogen was only a year older. We were ill-equipped to deal with the bills and severe lack of income.”
“What did you do?”
“Imogen dropped out at the end of her freshman year of college and got a job in the bakery. She tried to persuade me to go to college, but I knew we couldn’t afford it, so I went to work too. I despised the job and my boss hated me, but the money was better than the other options around town, so I stuck it out. We were barely managing to pay the rent on that crappy little apartment and then I had to get lost in the woods and get bitten. The last part changed the course of my life.” She smiled and leaned over and kissed him.
“I always felt that both of my parents favored my sister though, it seems silly when I say it out loud, but as a child, it hurts. I was always being told to be more responsible, like Imogen, be less impulsive, like Imogen, get Imogen to help with my homework because she was so smart. I never said anything because it would hurt my sister to know I felt like that, she kept it all together for us when we were left to cope alone.”
“That’s why you are insecure about coming second to anyone,” he said, pulling her closer, “I will always put you first, Indi. Always.”
She felt deep-rooted contentment with the truth of his words and was immensely grateful that she had foolishly wandered into the woods and been bitten, it had led her to Garrett Adair and the rest of the pack, her new family.
CHAPTER SIX
Garrett
It was still bitterly cold and the sun had disappeared, but Garrett was whistling as he chopped the pile of wood into logs to keep the fire stoked for the rest of the week. He knew there was pack business needing his attention, but he wanted to spend the rest of the week up here in isolation with his mate. He never thought India would bend to his will as readily as she did, but he thanked the gods a thousand times that she had.
The smell of bacon and sausages was driving him crazy as he swung the axe to split the last log. He stretched out his back and piled his morning’s work against the side of the shed; there would be plenty for the next visitor to the cabin, too. Carrying an armful inside, he kicked the door shut with his foot and stacked them in the firebox.
“Perfect timing, breakfast is ready.” She put a platter of bacon, sausage and pancakes in the middle of the small table and poured them coffee as he washed his hands.
The food disappeared quickly, shifters had notoriously large appetites.
“I think it might snow sometime today,” he said filling his plate again, “Let’s go for a run after breakfast.”
“I need to stretch my legs. I am going to get fat and lazy if I stay here and eat like this every day.” she smiled standing up to put her empty plate in the sink.
“Never happen, you would need to eat double what you do to get fat, or,” he reached across and pulled her toward him and nuzzled her stomach. “Even more if you were eating for two, or three or even four.”
“Yeah, that’s not terribly funny,” she laughed and then considered what he said.
“Are you joking?”
“Wolves are extremely fertile and multiple births are common.”
“Garrett, seriously! What’s the most babies a woman in the pack has given birth to at the same time?
“Let me see.” He was enjoying her discomfort a little too much. “Dak and Lucie had triplets last year, you haven’t met them yet. They have been staying with her mother’s pack for a few months. There was a set of quads about five years ago and another a year or two before that and I remember my mother telling me about a couple that had six babies, but that happens rarely. We usually have triplets every other year or so, but twins are much more common, like Bree and Hope.”
She looked horrified!
“I don’t know anything about babies, one I could handle, but what if I have four or five!”
“It’s unlikely, but I will be there to help and so will your sister. Hell, the whole pack would pitch in, don’t worry” He was grinning now, and she wanted to smack him.
“Imogen could have a damn litter of her own by then, shit. Garrett, I don’t think I am ready for all of this.”
He pulled her onto his lap and smoothed his hands over her stomach.
“Chances are when you fall pregnant, you will have one baby, possibly two, so stop worrying over something that hasn’t happened.
“Okay, two wouldn’t be so bad, I guess.” She blew out a huge breath,
“You know what the best part is?” he asked as he lifted her and carried her to the bed, “We get to practice making babies as often as we like.”
She lifted her arms as he pulled off her shirt and she mewed when his lips closed around her breast and his teeth nipped her rock hard peak.
“Don’t stop, Garrett. She held his head in place and closed her eyes as the sensations swallowed her.
“I will never get my fill of you, Indi, not if I live to be a thousand years old.”
They spent the rest of the morning in bed and the cold air made her naked skin shiver when they went outside. She shifted quickly and followed her mate as he wove a path through the trees. India was fast, but she was no match for Garrett, so he matched his pace to hers as they whipped through the low hanging branches.
Her wolf was elated, and she allowed her instincts to take over and just enjoy the moment. They had been out for an hour or so when India caught a new scent and pulled up short.
Humans, there were people out here, three of them.
Garrett came up beside her and she knew he hadn’t sensed them yet. They crept silently through the woods for another two miles before they saw them.
Hunters, in wintertime.
Three men, two in their twenties and one looked a little older. Maybe the father of the other two. They had an arsenal of weapons, mainly rifles and one of the younger ones was cleaning a crossbow. India picked up parts of the conversation with her superior hearing.
They were hunting wolves!
They backed away from the campsite before they were spotted and when they were out of earshot they broke into a run, stopping for nothing until they were back in front of the cabin. Garrett sniffed the air, but they were alone and he quickly shifted back and waited for India, then rushed her into the cabin.
She dressed quickly in front of the fire and he poured them coffee from the carafe,
“You caught their scent really quickly, India, way quicker than I did. You would make an excellent tracker with a nose like that, probably better than any of us. It’s useful when we are running as a pack to have the area checked by trackers first, just in case there are any humans out hiking or, in this case, illegal hunting.”
She bit down on a cookie, deep in thought.
“I guess I never thought of being anyone’s prey before, it’s a scary thought.”
“One of the reasons the youngsters are not allowed to leave the outer compound when in wolf form. When Seann’s father was Alpha, he let them run wild and if they were spotted by a human, his answer was to have the human killed. Seann prefers to avoid all contact when we are in wolf form.”
“His father sounds like a complete asshole, no offense,” she said, shocked.
“It’s how it was fo
r a very long time but this new generation, thankfully, has different ideas. Seann’s father wasn’t a bad man, he was fiercely loyal to his pack, but he was unemotional and cold sometimes.”
“What made him that way?” she asked as she sat down on the floor in front of the fire.
“Seann doesn’t talk about it, but pack gossip says his father was in love with another woman when his father demanded he was mated to Seann’s Mom. Back then, duty always came before anything else so they were duly mated, and they say he carried a torch for the other woman until the day he died.”
“That’s awful! I thought you could only bite a wolf to claim her if she was your true mate.”
“Not at all. The instinct to bite is only there for a true mate but if a wolf bites a she-wolf and she bites him back they are mated, but they are rarely happy together. In days gone by it happened all the time to form alliances but not so much these days.”
“Maybe they would have grown to love each other, it happens in arranged marriages.”
“It is entirely possible if both of the people involved want it, but with a true mate, it’s an all-consuming love, it can make you a little crazy ...that's what I feel for you, Indi,”
“You love me!”
“More than my life, sweet girl.”
She threw herself into his waiting arms.
“Garrett, I love you too, I have for a long time, but I was miserable thinking you were still in love with someone else.”
“Well, we got there in the end, how should we celebrate?” His grin was wicked.
She shrieked with laughter as he spun her around the room and they collapsed on the floor.
“Wait!” She held up her hand and sniffed the air. “We have visitors.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
India
Garrett moved to the window and saw the truck parked at the bottom of the driveway. Two of the men they had spotted in the campsite got out and started walking up the steep hill towards their cabin.
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