A powerful feeling overtook her and she gently took the man’s arm. “Constable, I’m that little girl. I’m Kelsey Porter.”
As if struck, the man reeled back. “By the gods,” he breathed, staring her up and down. He peered into her eyes, recognition dawning on him. “It is you. Those blue eyes. I always wondered what became of you.” He glanced down sheepishly. “My wife and I planted a bohdi tree in your memory. It sits in our garden and sometimes on a full moon we go and pray for you.”
Kelsey smiled, touched by his compassion. He was obviously a devout Buddhist. She could use that. “I could have succumbed after what happened to me, but I didn’t and I allowed the teachings of the Buddha to drive me. I didn’t allow the negativity of my past to cloud my mind. I persevered with a single-mindedness to live and beat my demons.”
The policeman looked at her shrewdly now. “You speak philosophy, but you still seek the devil who did this to you and your family?”
Kelsey stared at him, knowingly. “Yes, I do. I know I’ll never be truly enlightened unless I give up my earthly desires and the objects which influence me, but I can’t, sir. I don’t crave personal fame or riches, but I do crave the need to drain the life force of the being who hurt me and my family and who intends to hurt the monks at the monastery. For that, I may never be enlightened. I’ve accepted my lot. It’s something I’m willing to sacrifice if it means saving others from the same fate.”
The policeman nodded in understanding. “Anyone who seeks to protect, like myself, knows at some path in our lives, choices must be made which could hinder our ability for retribution. The very things which will cause us negative karma.” Again he glanced down the street at the military personnel. They had left the stall and strolled towards the train station, their hands filled with bags of food. He turned to Kelsey. “There are bad influences in the world everywhere and I believe at the end of my path, my spirits will know how far I went to protect innocent souls. I know death is inevitable, but I do feel people must have a chance to live the life others might have wished to end prematurely. I have to think that means something and hope it gives me the enlightenment I need when I enter the third and fourth bardos.”
Desmond rose and extended a hand to Kelsey. They stepped forward. “Constable, when exactly was the man here?”
“I saw him last night.”
“Was he injured?” Kelsey asked.
The policeman nodded again and pointed to his left arm. “He had a bloody sling wrapped around his shoulder, but he could move it. When he tried to gain a guide to the monastery and then started his lies, I sent him back to the train station.”
“And he just left?” Kelsey asked, incredulously.
“He had to. A Chinese government official had the military take him to the station, but I don’t think he actually left, because in the middle of the night last evening, two yaks and four sheep were slaughtered only a farm away from here. Maybe a group of drunk Chinese military did it, but I don’t think so. Only a man with no soul would do something so heinous to a small farmer and his family by taking away their sustenance. I know in my heart it was this man. In fact, I sent one of my own deputies up to the Kungri Nako Monastery to protect them in case he made it there. My deputy should be there by now.” He turned back to his office. “Come with me. I’ll get you a guide. He can take you as far as that temple, but not on to the Bodhidharma Monastery. We don’t want to attract any more attention to it than we need to. You’ll be able to get there yourselves after another day’s walk.” He was about to turn away, but then stopped. “Your assault was the first in a series of violent attacks during my time here. A few years later there was an ambush at the monastery as well. I’ve heard there were other incidents at other monasteries around the globe. Each time those from the Bodhidharma Monastery left to seek new ministries, they were targeted. Do you think it was the same man who attacked all of them?”
Kelsey nodded. “I do.”
He pursed his lips and moved into the hut. “Then we must find him and I must help you.” He glanced at them. “Do you have weapons with you?”
Kelsey shook her head no. “But we know how to use them if we did.”
The constable thought about it and nodded. “Give me an hour.”
* * * * *
Kelsey and Desmond strolled towards a quaint little park outside of the police station and sat on a bench next to the river. Some local men fishing glanced at them curiously now and again as they sat there talking.
It was a picturesque spot, quiet and peaceful. Snow-capped mountains ridged the valley and they could see sheep and yak grazing on the sparse grasslands in the distant fields. Their breath streamed in the cool air as they sipped the warm buttered tea the constable had offered them and ate their zongzi from the market.
“I had no idea the extent of what happened to you, Kelsey,” Desmond said. “I wondered where you were when your parents were killed and had thought for some reason you weren’t there. That maybe you had been safe with the monks, or someplace in America and it was the reason you were still alive and seemingly okay.” He sighed, seeing her pained expression. “I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about this. I know how personal it is.”
It’s going to come out anyway. You could probably look it up in old archives somewhere. “I’m sure you could get the story from the Constable with a few glasses of Lhasa beer. If anything, it’ll explain a lot about me.” She told him about the attack, leaving out very few details, and then about what happened to her afterwards with the Goldmans.
He was stunned, disgusted and horrified. “I’m having a hard time trying to imagine what the two days after your attack had been like. It must have been horrible.”
“It was a long time ago, Desmond. It’s okay.”
He shook his head. “No, it’s not okay. Here you went through this horrific crime, are spending your life avenging your parents murder and I have acted like a sex crazed ass. I forced you to sleep with me at Garters, because I thought you were something you’re not. You did try to explain it to me and I wasn’t listening because… well, because I was caught up and wanted to get laid.” He stared at his feet, his face beet red in embarrassment. “I have no idea how you’ve been able to work with me.”
She grunted. “It hasn’t been easy.” She felt her heart softening. Don’t tell him how you feel. It will just complicate things. Stay in control.
They were quiet for a bit, sipping their tea. Finally, Desmond spoke. “Do you remember when the Goldmans came to get you?
“To be honest, I don’t remember much of anything during that time. After Raul and his men finished with me, I remember nothing but pain as I lay there in the dirt. I couldn’t even move or cry, until I felt my mother’s hand on my shoulder. She must have crawled to me at some point. She took me in her arms and held me until I felt her body grow cold. It’s the last conscious memory I have of my time in Tibet. They say I was catatonic when they found me. For six weeks I couldn’t do anything in this world, but when I was in Tedanalee, I healed. I do remember hearing people trying to talk to me every now and then and calling my name, but they always sounded very far away.” Kelsey glanced up at the clouds floating lazily in the sky. “I would be in the monastery, playing with my pets and I’d hear something faint and otherworldy. Funny, right? I was in another world, but I would think something was otherworldly there. Anyway, I remember glancing out the window and noticing a hazy shadow behind a cloud. Sometimes it scared me and I would tell the Empress, who in those days was my constant companion. She’d watch the shadow for a long time and then talk to me about it…”
* * * * *
“Kelsey, please come back to us,” the gentle voice called.
Kelsey turned to the window of her quarters, staring out at the clouds floating next to the colorful ribbons streaking across the sky. The rug was soft under her as she sat, stroking the back of a little creature. She giggled as it whipped and wriggled up her arm and nuzzled her cheek.
The voice cal
led again. “Please, Kelsey. Honey, let me help you.”
The Empress kneeled down next to Kelsey and stroked her hair, pushing aside a wayward strand which had escaped from her jeweled headband. “Would you like to go see who’s calling for you? She sounds very nice.”
Kelsey turned to the window. The voice was still there, but it was so soft, like a whisper on the wind.
Kelsey clutched her pet in her arms protectively and started shuddering. A tear rolled down her cheek and she shook her head no. “It’s not my mother.”
The Empress shook her head, sadly. “No, it’s not.”
“Then, I don’t want to go. Please don’t make me.”
The Empress took her in her arms and held her tight. “We would never make you leave. You don’t have to decide now. There will always be another time. When you’re ready to let go, they’ll still be there waiting for you.”
“Who is it?” Kelsey asked, her curiosity getting the best of her.
“Someone who cares for you deeply.”
“But you care for me,” Kelsey said. “I want to stay here with you and the Emperor and the others. I feel safe here.”
The Empress glanced at her maidservant and the two exchanged knowing looks. “You can stay as long as you like. But remember, even if you do go to see who’s at the window, and decide to go with them, we’ll never leave you. We’ll always be here for you, no matter where you are. You can always come back to us, forever and ever. Do you understand?”
Kelsey nodded and then turned her back away from the window and the soft, beckoning voice faded away.
* * * * *
“It doesn’t take a masters in psychology to know I didn’t want to know who it was. I wasn’t ready to return to this reality.”
“So they took care of you.”
Kelsey nodded. “I spent the first few days in Tedanalee in bed sobbing and mourning my parents. But the Emperor and Empress and their court saved me. They came and comforted me, talked to me, fed me, children played with me and showed me so many wonderful and incredible things. I had no pain in that world, so I was physically fit and was free to move around and soon, with all the fantastical animals and the amazing scenery, I was transfixed. When they brought Ishu to me as a gift, I truly came alive there. She was just a baby, the size of a small puppy. I could hold her in my arms and together we grew. With her, I mentally healed while my body slowly healed in this reality.”
“Who are the Emperor and Empress? What are they? Are they people?”
Up until a day ago I thought they were just figments of my imagination. She shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. I never associated them as part of our world. None of them were. They were just dream people. It’s funny, I called them the Emperor and Empress when I met them because they seemed so regal and lived at the monastery, which was like a big imperial palace, but now I realize no one else in the land referred to them that way.” She squinted. “Now I’m wondering what they really are. In fact, what all of them there are.” She was quiet for a moment. “What I do know is as I got older, I realized that while they did protect me when I was little, they were the ones who also needed protection. Everyone there seemed to be a warrior or a fighter of sorts and now I wonder why. Why did I fit into that role as I got older?”
Desmond was silent for a moment. “Why do you think they protected you in the first place?”
What is he talking about? She cocked her head, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, why you specifically? Not that I’m discounting the horror you experienced, but why you out of all the other children in the world who suffer hideously?”
She was speechless. She’d never thought of this before.
“Well, there has to be a reason.” He paused for a moment. “You told me I was also a warrior in Tedanalee, there to protect against this blackness. Is that blackness Raul?”
He could be. I hate not knowing something. Kelsey squinted, frustrated. “I just don’t know.”
They watched a flock of geese fly gracefully across the water’s surface, settling on the far shore.
“So the first time you ever went to Tedanalee was after your attack?”
“Now I don’t think so. I actually used to have dreams about it before the attack and would draw all these crazy little animals and scenes from that world. Ari’s parents figured it was all in my imagination and I had created this safe, fantasy world, this retreat, so I could cope and heal. I realize the monks must have taken me there at an earlier point, but I just didn’t remember when.”
“And all your friends know about this place now? And Ari’s obviously known about it since the beginning, right?”
“He’s the one who suggested it existed to my parents in the first place.”
Desmond paused for a moment. “You two are close.”
“Of course. He’s my brother.”
Desmond squinted. “Well, he’s obviously not really your brother.”
What is he getting at? “Of course, he isn’t biologically.” She bit into the last of her zongzi.
Desmond kicked the ground with the toe of his boot, not meeting her eyes. “He just seems to have a bit more of an interest in you than a normal brother would, if you catch my meaning.”
He actually sounds jealous. Oh, stop it, Kelsey! She licked her lips, wiping her mouth with her sleeve. “Yeah, I catch it, but you’re wrong. He’s my best friend in the world and I trust him with my life. Still, it doesn’t stop him from being a huge pain in the ass and overprotective at times, as you well know.”
Desmond peered at her out of the corner of his eye. “So, nothing has ever happened with him?”
“Oh, Desmond, come on. Are you serious?”
He eyeballed her and she rolled her eyes. “No, nothing has ever happened!”
He smiled slightly. “Well, I guess I tested his limits.”
You have no idea. “It’s a good thing you were quick in his office. He’s an excellent baseball player. He was going for your head.”
Someone called out and they turned. “Hello? Are you Kelsey Porter?” A young man ran up to them and thrust out his hand. “I am Tenpa Dondrup. My uncle is Constable Dondrup. He called me to help guide you up the mountains.” His accented English was clear and he shook both their hands enthusiastically. He was jumpy and couldn’t seem to stand still and his clothes bounced on his slim frame in his excitement. He glanced behind him, his eyes gleaming. “All clear, no soldiers coming to get us!” he laughed. He had a wide smile and was eager to help them. “I can take you as far as the Chemi Pass and the Kungri Nako Monastery, but then I have to get back to town. I work for a group of Chinese officials and don’t want to raise any flags if I’m gone too long. It’ll only be a day’s walk or so from there for you both, and a difficult one, but you look like you can handle it.”
“We understand and thank you,” Kelsey said.
Tenpa turned and they ran to keep up with him as he jumped into his jeep. There Desmond and Kelsey found two pistols and extra ammunition the Constable had procured for them.
They drove through the low grasslands for an hour. Tenpa told them about his time growing up in the village, then every piece of gossip over the past ten years and then finished up with a round of old Tibetan jokes. He spoke the entire time, his words a rapid current, right up until they hit the first low-lying mountains of the Himalayas. They drove until the jeep couldn’t climb any further over the rocky terrain and then abandoned it at the base of a valley, making their first leg of their journey up the mountain on foot.
The trail was easy to follow, worn from thousands upon thousands of people who trod the slope. “This is the route to the Kungri Nako Monastery, which is a very popular tourist destination. The Bodhidharma Monastery is much more remote and doesn’t accept visitors. I’m curious. Why do you want to go there?”
“I went to school there when I was a child.”
He stared at her, his eyebrows raised in confusion. “Really? An American? It is not on the tou
rist maps and they keep pretty much to themselves.” He leaned towards them conspiratorially. “They’re a very secret sect, you know. Even the Chinese leave it alone.”
Kelsey leaned towards him too, smiling. “My parents liked secrets. They were adventure seekers, in search of the mystical land of Xanadu.”
Tenpa’s eyes widened. “They think that place is real? You have a saying in America I like… If they believe that, I have a bridge to sell them!” He started laughing uproariously at his joke and Kelsey and Desmond couldn’t help joining him.
They stopped midday for a light lunch that the Constable’s wife had packed for them. She had gladly thrown something together so she could see the infamous Kelsey Porter, grasp her face in both her hands and give her a huge kiss and hug. Kelsey had been touched.
As they munched on momo dumplings, cold noodles and balep korkun, a flatbread used to scoop up the noodles, Tenpa kept them entertained with stories of old Tibetan folktales, but soon enough they were back on the path, following the way of the pilgrims from centuries ago.
It was a beautiful and scenic walk through the Himalayas, but arduous as they hiked to the temple.
Something’s not right. It’s too quiet. “I would have thought we would have seen some other pilgrims on this trail,” Kelsey mused.
Tenpa pursed his lips. “Yes, it’s strange we haven’t seen anyone, not even a tour group. Possibly it’s the cold weather? Those not from the mountains have a harder time with our climate.” He let that thought hang in the air, but none of them believed it for a second. The usual chatty Tenpa quieted and picked up his pace. By mid-afternoon, they rounded the most strenuous part of the mountain and came upon the monastery. The architecture was a perfect representation of the early Tibetan temples. The temple was boxlike with covered walkways surrounding it and had a large stone staircase leading to the front door. Like many of the others, it was elevated, facing south with a flat roof to conserve the heat and multiple windows to let in the sunlight.
The Hunt for Xanadu Page 19
