by B. B. Hamel
“I should break up with him,” she says softly.
“Probably,” I admit.
“I want to do it. I want to do it right now.”
“You don’t have to,” I say.
She glances up at me. “Why not?”
I shrug. “I’ll fuck you either way.”
She blushes a little and looks annoyed. “I wouldn’t… I mean, I wouldn’t do that…”
“You don’t have to break up with him for me, princess,” I say softly. “You think I give a shit about that? I don’t, not even a little. I’ll take your tight little pussy whenever I want it, because you’re all mine, dating him or not.”
She glares at me. “I wouldn’t leave him for your sake, you conceited asshole.”
“Sure. Tell yourself that.”
“Are you always such an arrogant prick?”
“Probably.”
“God.” She shakes her head. “You’re such a dick.”
“Come on, Katie. You think you’d dump him for any other reason?”
She glares at me again, this time real anger behind those gorgeous eyes.
“Not everything is about you,” she says and walks away.
I watch her go, a little longing in my chest. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed her. I just don’t want her to do something impulsive or stupid just on my part. I get it, she got some good dick and now that’s all she can think about, but still. She’s gotta be smart. We can’t get caught.
Well, maybe I could’ve been a little nicer about it, but still. Dumping that guy just because she wants the good dick isn’t a great idea.
She needs to be smart about this. Hell, I need to be smart about this.
I lean up against the wall and I know I’m going home alone tonight.
Fucking sucks, but what can you do?
11
Katie
Every man in my life is an arrogant fucking asshole.
I want to end things with Jasper for my own sake, not because of Graham. I mean, sleeping with him is giving me confidence, but he’s not the actual reason.
I don’t like this fake relationship. I don’t even really like Jasper. I’m doing it for the publicity and because Norah convinced me that it’d be a great idea, but god, I’m so tired of living like this. I hate being so fake and so in the spotlight all the damn time.
Sometimes, I just want to be myself. And if I were being myself, I’d never, ever, ever date a guy like freaking Jasper. I don’t care about famous he is.
Sure, we get along as friends. I’ll admit that, I could see myself being his friend, but nothing more. Not if I had my way, at least.
But of course, now if I dump him, Graham’s going to think that it’s all for his sake. It’s so frustrating I could freaking cry, to be totally honest. I want to get out of this stupid fake relationship but I’m not about to look stupid in front of Graham.
Frustrated and annoyed, the rest of the stop is spent focusing on the second show. I don’t pay any attention to Graham and I barely put up with Jasper. I do it only as much as I absolutely have to and nothing beyond that.
I start to feel a little guilty, though. Jasper knows this is fake, but he’s still nice to me at least. He’s a total douche and self-centered but he’s never been a dick directly to me.
After the second show, we stick around in the green room and I decide to be nice to Jasper. We sit together on the couch against one wall, ignoring the people around us.
“Did I show you this yet?” He pulls out his phone like always and shows me some Instagram post. It’s a model we both know posing on the beach. “Hot, right?”
“You’re supposed to be my boyfriend, you know,” I point out.
He laughs. “I know, but come on. She’s killing it.”
“I saw her on a billboard a couple days ago.”
“She’s all over the place.”
“Guess I’m not surprised.”
Jasper grins at me. “She’s gorgeous. But don’t worry, you’re still more famous.”
I smile at him and roll my eyes. “Like I care.”
“Sure you do. It’s why we do this, right?”
My smile slips a little bit. What he just said is basically the unspoken truth, but nobody ever actually says it out loud. We all just pretend that we’re doing it for the love of the music, or the money, when really I think most of us are doing it for the fame.
I don’t know why I’m doing it. I guess it’s partly for the fame, the money, the music. It’s all of that and maybe more. Maybe I’m trying to fill a hole in me with fame and adoration and excitement.
I don’t even know anymore. It’s just what I do, and so I do it.
“I don’t care about that,” I say dismissively.
“Come on. You check your Insta all the time. You’re super active on Twitter. You obviously love being famous.”
“I guess,” I say, starting to get uncomfortable.
“Come on, Katie. You’re a rock star, people love you. It’s okay to admit you like being famous.”
“I’m not sure I do.”
He scoffs at that. “Yeah, right. I know you, I see the way you look at your social shit, I see the way you read all the blogs. You’re a fame whore just like the rest of us.”
“I’m not,” I say to him, starting to get annoyed. “You barely even know me.”
He smirks. “You’re my girlfriend. Of course I know you.”
“Stop,” I say to him. “You really don’t. This isn’t just about being famous, okay?”
“Liar,” he says, still pressing the point. He has this stupid smile on his face and I hate when he gets like this. He thinks he can’t be wrong about anything. Maybe he’s chasing fame, but that’s not me. I’m not like him.
Not totally at least. I still have some of my soul left. I didn’t sell it all off.
“I’m not a liar. Why are you pushing this so hard?”
“Because I hate when you pretend like you’re better than me.”
“I’m not… I’m not pretending like I’m better than you.”
“Yes, you are. You think it’s stupid to want to be famous, well, screw you. I like being famous and I think you do too. You’re just a liar that can’t actually accept what she is.”
I sit there, staring at him, not sure what to say. He’s grinning at me, but the smile is hard and tight.
I feel a flash of anger. I’m so sick of this. I’m so tired of pretending with this fucking guy. If he were my real boyfriend, I wouldn’t put up with this crap.
So why am I doing it with my fake boyfriend?
“You know what, Jasper?” I ask him, standing up. “I’m done with this.”
He cocks his head. “Excuse me?”
“I’m done with this,” I repeat, a little louder now. I can feel my anger getting the better of me. I should sit down and shut up. I just decided I wasn’t going to do this, but I can’t help myself now.
I feel everyone starting to look. I feel Graham’s eyes staring at me intently.
“What do you mean, you’re done with this?” Jasper sneers at me the way he sneers at everyone else.
“I’m done with this relationship. I’m breaking up with you.”
“You can’t… what the fuck?” He stands up, pissed now.
“I’m sick of this, okay? I’m finished. Just get out of here.”
“Fuck you,” he says. “You’re not dumping me, you little bitch.”
He steps toward me, but suddenly there’s a body between the two of us. Graham appears so fast I don’t even have time to register him before he’s just there.
“What did you say to her?” he says. Everyone is staring openly now. Norah is inching closer, a look of alarm on her face.
“I said… fuck you, ape,” Jasper snaps weakly.
“Leave.” Graham’s voice is deep and booming, the opposite of Jasper’s little whine. “Right now. And if you speak again, I’m going to break your fucking jaw.”
Jasper glares at him, glares at me, a
nd then leaves the room.
Everyone’s silent. It’s like a bomb just dropped.
Graham turns to me. “Are you okay?” he asks.
I stare at him stupidly. “I didn’t need your help,” I say.
“I know.”
I shake my head, turning away from him. “What do you want?” I shout at everyone. They all look away, pretending not to be staring. I hurry toward the door, my heart racing.
“Katie,” Norah says, coming after me. “Hold on a second. Just wait.”
I look at her. “No. This is your fault.”
She comes to a stop. “My fault?”
“You did that and you know it.” I glare at her for a second. Graham starts toward me but I don’t wait.
I turn and leave the room as fast as I can.
I know Graham’s following, but I don’t want to see him. I can’t stand the look on his face right now. I bet he feels so victorious, like I’m throwing myself at his feet or something.
God, I didn’t do that for him. I didn’t do that for anyone but myself.
As I get outside and head toward the car that’ll take me to the hotel tonight, I start to slow down. Realization hits me, nice and hard.
Two things. First, I just publicly dumped Jasper. That’s going to be all over the blogs, and holy shit, it’s going to be insane.
But second, and more important, is I just did something entirely for myself. All because I felt like doing it, without regard to how it would make me look.
And I like it. I smile to myself and hurry to the car. Graham slips in after me, but we don’t speak to each other, and I don’t meet his gaze.
I don’t care what he thinks. I just did that for me, and it felt damn good.
I spend so much time doing things for my image, for my team, for my fame. I barely ever stop to wonder what I want and what I need.
Now though, I did something for me.
Slowly, I look over at Graham. He meets my gaze, not smiling, eyes hot with something.
And I know what else I want. What else I need.
Something just for me.
12
Graham
We ride back to the hotel in silence. She doesn’t look at me, and I don’t try to say anything.
I told her not to do that. I don’t want what we have going on to fuck with her career, but maybe that’s not why she did it. I mean, I think everything’s always about me, but the way that went down…
She seemed angry. Genuinely angry at the guy.
We get back to the hotel and I escort her up to her room. I’m glad that little fuck Jasper is gone and I wish I could’ve beaten the fuck out of him for what he said. But there were too many phones out, ready to snap a picture. Hitting that asshole would’ve only made things worse for Katie.
But god damn, did I want to. Shit, not hitting him is like a miracle for me. I guess she brings out the best parts of me.
Or at least the non-violent parts, even though those are few and far between.
I take her up to her door and she looks at me. “Thanks,” she mumbles. She unlocks her door and goes to slip inside.
I grab her wrist. “Wait,” I say.
She looks at me. “What? Want to tell me I shouldn’t have done that?”
I flinch a little. “No,” I say.
“Then what?”
I pull her toward me. She looks surprised when I kiss her.
We kiss for a second, but she breaks it off, looking around the hall. “Don’t do that again,” she warns me.
I smirk at her. “Or else what?”
“Or else…” She trails off. “Just don’t, okay? I’m not in the mood.”
“You’re always in the mood for me, little princess.”
“Cut it out.”
I stare at her for a second, face softening. I was just trying to lighten her mood a bit but I can see that’s not happening.
“Listen, I know what you did back there was hard. I’m sorry it went down like that.”
“Yeah,” she says, sounding tired. “Me too.”
“Invite me into your room.”
She bites her lip. “I shouldn’t.”
“But you want to. Invite me in.”
She hesitates only a second longer before sighing. She turns away and leaves the door open for me to follow.
I step in behind her and let the door shut.
I follow her into the room. It’s a suite, like all the others. One main living room area, little kitchen spot to the side, couches, TV, that sort of thing. The bedroom is in the back and she goes right for it.
“I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” she says.
I slowly follow her back. I stop in the doorway and watch as she unzips her dress and shimmies out of it.
She’s so fucking beautiful. I’m struck all over again at her smooth skin, perky tits, tight ass. She’s exquisite in every sense of the word.
She turns to me, wearing just a bra and panties, her body tight and begging for me.
“I’ve wanted to do something like that for myself for a long time,” she says softly.
“Oh, yeah?” I ask. “That was for yourself?”
“Fuck, yes, it was,” she says fiercely.
I frown a little, surprised. “Good for you then,” I say. “You listen to my cousin too much.”
She shrugs. “It’s what I do. I’m the famous one, right? I have to keep up the fame, or else…” She trails off.
“Or else what?”
“I don’t know,” she admits. “It all goes away, I guess.”
“Would that be so bad?”
“I don’t know.” She steps toward me. “I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, way before we met. I’ve been wondering why I keep doing this. I mean, I remember why I started.”
“Why’d you start?”
“Because I wanted to be famous,” she says, laughing. “And I wanted to be a singer and a star and all that stuff. Then I got it all, and way more, and now…” She shrugs and shakes her head, beautiful hair spilling around her shoulders.
“Now you don’t know if you want it anymore,” I say softly.
She just shrugs and keeps coming closer. Finally, she stops in front of me.
“Maybe that’s it. Or maybe I just want to do it all on my own terms. If I fall out of favor being myself, I could live with that. It’s this faking it thing that I don’t know if I can handle.”
I put one hand on her cheek, slowly moving it back to tangle into her hair.
“Even if you have everything?” I ask softly.
“I think I might rather lose it all than fake it.”
I pull her toward me and kiss her. My blood’s up, heart beating fast, and I can’t help myself.
I knew there was something about her. I could see a sadness inside of her, buried deep down. I could see it in that empty mansion when we first met, and in the way she’d drift from show to show basically just following orders like a good Marine.
But she’s not a Marine. She’s so much more than that. She’s fire and ice and everything between. I want every inch of her and I want her to see how incredible she really is.
I don’t know how else to show her, other than by kissing her rough and pulling her tight against my body.
I kiss her neck and let my hands roam her body. She tugs at my shirt and I let her pull it off. She works on my belt as I unhook her bra, letting it fall on the floor. I finish by pulling my jeans off and she watches me, biting her lip.
“You’re wondering if you’re making a mistake,” I say gently to her. I back her up, running her up against the bed. She falls back onto it and I pin her down.
“Maybe,” she admits.
“This isn’t the mistake,” I whisper. “This is what makes you feel good.”
“You don’t know that.”
I laugh gently. “I know. Believe me, I can see it. I know what you think, what you feel. What you crave.”
“Then you know me better than I know myself.”
> “Damn right I do.” I laugh again and kiss her breasts, teasing her nipples, one hand sliding down between her legs. “You want something real? This is real, this tight, wet little cunt. This is real.”
She gasps as I tease her and slip my fingers under her panties. She’s soaked, dripping for me, practically running down her legs.
I tease her clit and kiss her neck. “Everything you’re feeling right now is real,” I whisper. “All that out there is bullshit. Right here, I’ll make you feel something you need.”
“Oh, god, please, Daddy,” she groans.
I kiss her hard and slide my fingers inside her tight little pussy. She lets out this amazing little groan, full of pleasure and pain and desire and anger and every little emotion that’s crossed her mind since this tour started.
“That’s right,” I whisper in her ear. “You want to get it all out, don’t you?”
“Get what out?” she manages to say.
“All that anger and stress. You need to release it all.”
“Oh, god, yes,” she whispers. “Yes, yes, please, yes.”
“That’s what I’m here for.” I put my thumb down her bottom lip before sliding it into her mouth. She sucks it hard as my other hand slides my fingers up deep inside her pussy, pushing them in and out before teasing her clit in pleasing little circles.
She groans and bites down on my thumb. I grunt a little and pull it back, grabbing her hair. I fuck her cunt hard with my fingers before letting go of her hair to grab one wrist.
I pin her down to the bed and kiss her lips hard. I kiss her neck, her chest, her breasts. I keep her pinned to the bed, held down hard and fast, before I finally let her go.
She groans and reaches down under my boxer briefs, grabbing my thick shaft. I let her stroke me, groaning a little bit, kissing her lips and tasting that pretty little tongue.
Fucking hell, she’s everything right now. I pull back and stand in front of the bed. She sits up and I pull my boxer briefs off. She leans forward and takes my cock in her mouth as soon as they hit the floor.
I let out a grunt of pleasure and grab her hair. I hold it tight and push her down, making her take my thick cock down that pretty little throat. I fuck her lips and pull her face back before kissing her.
