by Izzy Sweet
“You didn’t make it to the back,” my father says with a flick of his hand.
Sighing, I shake my head, not taking the bait. “I’m tired of these games. Why don’t you get straight to the point?”
My father’s face tightens with anger and I hear his teeth grinding together. All that expensive dental work at risk because of me…
I’ve never, in all the years I’ve been in contact with him, given him so much defiance or resistance before and it’s clearly getting to him. In the past, I’ve always bent to his will, submitting quickly and easily out of the fear he’d walk out of my life again. I’ve carried out his bidding for the past four years.
I’ve been his pretty little obedient doll. Bending, almost breaking, in the ways he’s used me.
But not today… goddammit, not today.
“Very well,” my father grits out. “Since you refuse to look, I’ll describe the contents for you. In the back of that folder you will find the most recent bank documents for Mr. and Mrs. Babson, Casey’s grandparents.”
If I thought the bottom fell out of me before… well, my entire existence drops as I immediately realize what my father intends to threaten me with.
Flipping quickly through the pages, I end up accidentally tearing a couple in my haste to reach the very papers he’s talking about.
“It seems Mr. Babson has had some medical issues lately. Some very expensive medical issues which have put a strain on their finances…”
“Don’t,” I warn, looking up from the papers. “Don’t you dare…”
Ignoring me, my father continues, a smile beginning to creep across his face. “Their house is about to enter foreclosure. And being that they’re on a fixed income, there’s little hope they’ll be able to pull themselves out of the financial hole they’ve found themselves in.”
God help me. Gripping the folder, it’s everything I can do not to shake and tremble like a fucking leaf.
“Soon, they’ll be without a house, unable to care and provide for their dear grandson…”
For a foolish second, I hope that my father forgot that Casey isn’t in his grandparent’s care, he’s in Emmett’s.
“Concerned, as a father myself, and as the governor of our great state Nevada, I took it upon myself to do a little investigating. Casey, that poor boy, has had such a tragic life, and I’d like to do all in my power to help him. I was able, through a little luck and perhaps a little divine intervention, locate his mother, Amber. Her picture should be right there with the mortgage documents.”
Bile rises in my throat and my fingers shake as I force myself to flip through to the very picture he’s speaking of.
It’s a mugshot of a woman who looks nothing at all like Casey. Nothing like him that is until I force myself to look past the crazy hair, vacant eyes, and sad expression, finding the similarities.
“She, herself, has had quite a life. She’s been in and out of jail and rehab for over a decade…”
Snapping the folder shut, I close my eyes and take a deep breath, gathering my composure before I say, “And your point is?”
I think I know what he’s getting at, but until I hear it from his lips I can’t be sure.
“My point is, Aubrey, I’m very concerned for Casey. His father’s dead, his grandparents are unable to care for him. His mother is a drug addict who can’t get clean, and he’s been left in the care of an alcoholic who has no relation to him. Perhaps the courts should be made aware of his case…”
Somehow I manage to open my eyes and look at my father. Somehow I manage to continue breathing as the full gravity of what he’s threatening me with completely crushes me from the inside out.
If his threats were directed at me or Emmett, I could live with the fallout. I could handle and deal with whatever came.
But I could never live with myself if he hurt Casey… I… just… couldn’t. And I’d do anything, anything, to keep that from happening.
Even if it means doing my father’s bidding and marrying Tristan.
“You’re a monster,” I hiss as the full force of my sadness, of my fucking grief hits me.
I think it would hurt less if he’d fucking stabbed me. Stabbed me in the heart until nothing was left.
My father makes a tsking noise and shakes his head. “I’m simply a concerned citizen, Aubrey.”
There are so many things I could say, but it would all be a waste of breath. I already know from what he’s said and from what was in the papers he gave me that he’s put a lot of thought, time, and effort into this.
And he has no shame, no honor, if he’s willing to hurt a child for his own personal benefit.
Eyes aching with the need to burst into tears, I suck in another breath, trying my hardest to keep myself together.
But I can’t stop my voice from cracking as I say, “I’ll do whatever you want… just leave Casey alone. He’s fine where he is.”
Triumph lights up my father’s eyes and the look on his face makes me utterly sick. “Are you sure? I cannot, in good conscience, abandon the boy.”
Everything inside me, the pain, the anger, the despair, swells to the surface, and it hurts. It hurts so fucking bad I can’t think straight. I can’t think of a way to make it stop.
“I’m sure,” I say, just wanting to get this nightmare over with.
But even after everything he’s already done to me, my father isn’t done yet.
“Very well, that’s relieving to hear, and I’ll take your word for it,” he says, then relaxes in his seat. “Now that this unpleasant business has been settled, let’s go home, shall we? The Yates will be joining us for dinner tonight. We have a wedding to plan.”
Chapter Seventeen
Emmett
The bottle sitting on the table in front of me is no longer looking like an if but a when.
I spent three days searching for Bree. Three long fucking days frantically searching the city for her before her phone finally gave me a ping on her location.
Betrayal doesn’t even begin to describe the feelings I have raging through me right now. I’m not some neanderthal who doesn’t understand the fucking internet. I know who her father is, and I know where she is.
She’s in his fucking house.
What I don’t know is why. Why the fuck did she leave us? It’s not just me, it’s fucking us.
Her promises were bullshit.
Fucking bullshit.
Everything that came from her eyes and lips was nothing but fucking lies. She’s disappeared from my life as fast as she walked into it, and all I’ve got left is a kid who’s falling into the abyss.
Casey’s sleep has been tortured, and I spend more time racing from my room to his because of his night terrors than I do actually sleeping. He’s got demons crawling inside of his body, and there’s nothing I can do but sit beside him as he shakes the whole bed in fear.
One week gone and I can only stare at her location. It’s as if she’s a star in the sky now, there to see but completely unobtainable. I fell for her hard. I can’t even say it wasn’t love. I’d be lying to myself and the universe if I did. But did she love me? Or was I just some passing ship in the night?
She told me she couldn’t do this, that she wasn’t good for me. Was this what she meant? Was this what she knew would happen?
One long week and I haven’t touched a single drop of alcohol. One long fucking week I’ve forced myself through the punishment from Dale and Chase. They hold me accountable for Bree leaving.
It’s all my fault, I can see it in their eyes.
I see it in every pair I eyes I meet, the look of blame. It’s just one more fuck up to add to my already growing list of failures.
Even Avery doesn’t look at me the same. There’s this look of anticipation in her eyes, like she’s just waiting for me to make my last fuck up. To fuck up Casey so she’ll have to come racing in to save him.
Helen hasn’t made an appearance yet, but I figure it’ll be today or tomorrow that she comes and sn
atches my kid away from me.
Then I’ll have nothing left in me but this hollow fucking shell.
I shouldn’t call Casey my kid, but he is now. He’s mine as much as he’s Helen’s. Tommy’s gone so he’s stuck with me.
Until I’m forced to give him up too.
Last night, Casey and I finally had out the storm that’s been brewing on the horizon. We went at it like two heated rivals in the ring. He used words even I don’t say around him. There was enough blame in his words that I felt the sting of every single syllable. He’s right, I fucked it up.
I let her leave.
I’ve been here all night on the back porch, been here all night with a bottle of rum. Rum’s been my best friend these last few months, and I can’t figure out how much longer it will be before I follow it down to the bottom.
The sun starts to peek over the horizon.
Fuck it, might as well start now.
I reach for the bottle but it’s no longer there.
With a look of pure rage, Casey turns and throws the bottle as far as he can.
The bottle slams into a tree and explodes in a dazzling shower of amber liquid and shards of glass.
Standing up to face him, I yell, “What the fuck, Casey?!”
“Fuck you, Emmett! You’re going to be just like everyone else!” he screams as he gets right up in my face.
He might be shorter than me, but right now he’s posturing up like he’s about to throw down.
Last night obviously wasn’t the end of this little hurricane.
“How the fuck am I like everyone else?” I yell right back at him.
“You’re just going to fucking leave me like everyone else does! Dad, Grandpa, Grandma, and Bree! You had to run her off! Now she’s gone! Gone! She left me just like you want to do! You think I don’t know what will happen if you drink? Grandma comes and gets me, then I get shoved into another fucking home with some relative I don’t know!” he belts out.
Every name he speaks hits me like a sucker punch to my already barely functioning heart.
Pushing up hard against my chest with his hands, he shoves me when I don’t respond. “You think I’m stupid, don’t you! I know about my mom. A junky who couldn’t stand the idea of having me! Dad was the only one who really wanted me and now he’s gone!”
“Casey…” I say as I grab his hands and yank him close to me so that I can wrap my arms around him.
“I hate you! You made her go away! She was good to me!” he yells into my chest.
I can feel hot pools of tears leaking through my shirt and burning my skin. “Casey, I’m so sorry.”
“No one wants me! Why does everyone leave?” he asks, and I know he’s no longer talking to me.
He’s venting out all the vile, self-hating thoughts he’s been holding inside of him since Tommy died.
After venting about God, and even wondering if there is a God, his words become too choked with sobs for him to continue.
And I keep holding him, knowing he’s finally breaking through all his walls.
“Fuck, Casey,” I say when his sobs lessen enough for him to hear me. “I’m not going to leave you. Never. God himself would have to end the world before I ever leave you by yourself.”
“Bree wasn’t supposed to leave either,” he whispers.
Fuck, I know he grew to care for her, but I fucked up thinking it would be just me who got attached.
I remember something Helen once told Tommy and me about dating single mothers. She told us not to do it unless we were willing to break two hearts.
Fuck, she was right.
I’m a single fucking father with a kid who’s suffering a broken heart.
Pulling away from him, I nudge his chin up so that his red eyes stare back into my own red eyes. “I don’t know why she left, Casey, but it wasn’t because of you. If it was my fault then I fully accept the blame for this, but we will not let this break us. We can’t. There’s too much at stake.”
“I know, Emmett,” he says quietly. “I know it wasn’t us, but I just can’t help how it feels. My head is so messed up, I don’t even know what to do anymore.”
Fuck me. I might finally have the answer to one of his questions.
“I do,” I say.
“What?” he asks as he pulls away from me.
He needs his space, I get that. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to keep him wrapped up tight so I can keep all the dark shit in life away from him.
“We go get our shoes on,” I say, pointing to his bare feet and then mine.
“And?” he asks incredulously.
I smirk at him. “We get donuts.”
“Yeah, right.” He laughs for the first time in days and I relish in the thought that I made it happen.
“Seriously, we go get donuts. We don’t eat them, but we take them to the gym and put ‘em in Chase’s office. We should be able to get there before Dale does,” I say, and I can tell Casey is starting to see where this is going.
“Can I take like a bite of one? I’d give up my Playstation for like a week if I could get like half of one,” he starts to beg, pulling my leg.
“Maybe, but if you do, you better hide any evidence. We can’t get caught,” I say with another smirk.
I love the smell of a good prank in the morning, and after what we’ve gone through, this one’s going to be so fucking worth it.
I put my fist out to knock knuckles. “We’re family, Casey, and nothing will break us apart. Your dad used to call me his wife sometimes when we were taking care of you, and you know what? He was right. I’m never going to be able to replace the man you lost, but I promise you I will always be in your corner. Father, mother, or whatever you want to call me. We’re here together. Fuck the rest of the world if they don’t get it.”
Casey stares at my hand and I know somewhere in his soul he’s making a choice. I just hope he knows how much he means to me. I don’t care what I have to do from here on out, from now on he’s my top priority.
Slapping my hand to the side, he gives me a tight hug, his arms trying to squeeze the shit out of my ribs. Hugging him right back, I don’t let go for a long time.
We need this and this right here is going to be our salvation.
One day at a time, one fight at a time, until we’re through it all.
“Thanks, Mom,” he snickers before racing away from me.
“You little fucker!” I bellow out at him as I chase him to the shoe pile next to the front door.
We’re not dressed for the gym, but that doesn’t stop Casey and me from setting the box of donuts on Chase’s desk and running for the locker room before anyone can see us.
We both slow down though, only a little, to see if Bree is back at the front desk, but keep going when we see her chair is still empty.
Fuck if it doesn’t pull at my soul to think she left us, left us and didn’t even say why.
I’ve sent her a shit ton of texts, hoping one of them would get her to text back. I’ve even sent her declarations of my love…
And all I get is silence. Fucking silence.
I know I should chase after her, but for what? She made it pretty clear when she disappeared that she didn’t want to have anything to do with us anymore.
I think even Casey texted her with his phone a couple of times, and it fucking kills me to think she’s stonewalling him too. She probably has us both blocked.
She’s blocked us and ghosted us.
What can I fucking do?
Thankfully Casey and I both have a spare set of workout clothes to change into because while we were planning our prank, we also talked about my ass getting back to the grindstone for the upcoming fight.
The world is burning down around us, but it won’t stop us from moving forward.
Every time I think of slowing down this week and maybe pulling out of the match, I can’t do it. Something inside me has been growing every day since I came back to the gym, something angry and violent. This isn’t about payback for the fir
st time Jamey and I fought each other.
No, this is about his videos and his little taunts.
He’s doing shit like this to get a reaction. He’s trying to get into my head and fuck with it. But every time I see an interview with him, I feel my body getting closer and closer to what I’ve been working toward.
Closer to being able to dish out some serious fucking damage.
“I don’t know whose fucking donuts those are!” Chase yells from the front of the gym.
And Casey and I start shaking from the fucking giggles before we can get a hold on ourselves.
Thankfully there’s no one around to see us. We’ve been in the back corner, using the rowing machines for the past fifteen minutes.
“Don’t give me that, Chunky!” Dale shouts back at Chase. “I wanna see you sweating today! We’re going to work off some of that pansy Avery’s let you get away with!”
“I’m not one of your fighters, old man! This is my gym, you can’t go bossing me around!” Chase bellows back.
Ducking his head down, Casey looks like he’s seen a ghost as he whispers, “Did he just call Dale an old man?”
Dale growls, “I can’t, can I?” so loud suddenly every fighter in the gym is busy with whatever they’re working on.
“Ah… fuck, Dale,” Chase sputters before he heads for the locker room.
If I didn’t recognize the murderous tone in Dale’s growl, I might be stupid enough to laugh. Dale’s face is so red though, I know to keep my head down.
“Casey,” I mutter out the side of my mouth, “this was never us.”
“No shit!” Casey whispers just as quietly and quickly goes back to rowing like his life depends on it.
Yep, if this shit gets out, we’re going to end up red smears on the asphalt after Chase runs us down. But fuck it, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen Chase work out like he has us doing. He hasn’t gone to fat or anything like that, but it’s been a long time since he’s been put through the paces.
I might be punishing Bree unknowingly through Chase, but I think I’m okay with it.
I don’t have time to drop back into a depression right now. I’ve got a kid and a fight to deal with. I need my head in the fucking game.
